Adventurer #15 31 июля 2004

Игры

Interface - Confessions of a serial gamer.

Confessions of a serial gamer   
moran/Inward/CPU                

confessions of a serial gamer

elfh> Just afew of us have a
courage to confess in pernicious
passions even to yourself. And
especially have a strive to find
causes and ways to escape. Moran
have a power to try...

Why I'am playing

A lot of people are addicted to so-
mething that enslaves them. Someo-
ne drinks harmful liquids, someone
is smoking and eating plants, that
are bad for his health, while I'am
playing. Unable not to play, and
this often opresses me. It steals
my time, my sleep, my life, and
I'am afraid to say it - my soul.
That happened frequently - at the
morning, crawling out of my pc, la-
ying on a soft sofa, looking at be-
autiful rising sun, I thought -
how could it be: it is so gentle
and mild here, and I'am suffering,
gritting my teeth being with a vir-
tual opponent, who posessing me in
a thoroughly learned game. Then,
of course, I'll sleep in the most
pleasant, worm and bright time of
day... And do you know, what is
the most terrible? Conscience! It
gnaws me and tells - 'Why?!.. Why
did you killed your time in vain!
You could create something, go for
a walk or clean-up the room at
last. No! You have no time for
that, but there is a lot of time
for games. No family, no work, no
aspiration...' Did you had such an
experience - you close your eyes
before going to sleep, and there
are landscapes... and voices of
characters of the game you are pla-
ying now? How I could come to
this? Maybe it is the curse of the
universe made me run away from
myself to those micro game worlds,
maybe the lack of education, not
given me by parents, brought me to
this abyss of game consuming? But
I think, it is just my laziness
that doesn't give me ability to
express myself in a things, dispo-
sed to order. What for am I pla-
ying? Let everyone who is similar
to me in that, asks yourself too.
And decides for yourself. After
thinking a while, I have made a de-
cision for myself... Most likely,
playing games, ruling imaginary
characters, solving their fates
and aspirations, I want to be simi-
lar to God. Exactly Him. Because
everyone, who is looking for a po-
wer upon someone, even assumed,
wants to steal the right to deter-
mine fates and be a microgod for
some, even very little, time. I
think, human power is vile, and
there is sublime right, the right,
He gave for men, the right to crea-
te and be like Him. Probably, this
is just apathy and depression
gnaws me, it is far too easier to
start play a game and go the way,
pointed by someone else, than try
to find it by yourself. But maybe,
everything is not so bad... For
example, I'll try to create so-
mething interesting, in spite of
laziness, that is to be known a
contagious illness. So, I think I
have found an exit for myself, and
that is desirable to follow it, I
will create things, that is ennob-
le the world, less laziness and be-
come more deep in it - then I'll
survive and run away from the
curse, threatening over me. Try to
find an exit, that will help you,
I already found it. Bye.

07.04.2004

moran/Inward/CPU.