---------- Track: UNREAL MUSIC BY KSA OF MKHG'95 By: ---------- "Safari in Russian" - we were once with the guys in the jungle Zanzibar - hunted crocodiles. Of course, I was ambushed. They gave me a gun. And the rest went to the beast drive I sit in ambush for an hour or two. Already and began to take a nap. Suddenly I see - crocodile Crocodile, honest mother! How I hit it with two guns! Yes how rushed at him with a knife! Believe it or not - naked strangled him with his hands. Here are the horns on the wall hanging... - And we once visited the African antelope hunted. We took three carbines each. There are two boxes of cartridges. We ran all day through the savannah like fools. And what are you you think, not a single antelope! It would be so nothing was shot. But by the end of the day still lucky. What is noteworthy -looks like a cow cow And some black guy is jumping around. I don’t know, maybe out of joy?.. - Do you see this fang? No, you tell me - do you see it or not? This is a Shanghai leopard. we took him right in Shanghai, live Chinese. So what, fifty dollars in “green” for him? unfastened, he agreed. Not Chinese of course, leopard... - We trapped an elephant last year put. Do you know what a trap it was? Weighing three tons. Attached with anchor chain directly to the baobab. Every link one hundred kilograms. And they charged it with the mouse. Elephants are very afraid of mice. He will see the mouse - and from fear from the hooves. And here we are with your trap. We'll pinch his nose, and he yells. But that time they didn’t take me, I lost it. Apparently the mouse was chosen incorrectly... - And we are on Kilimanjaro shooting an elephant from a gun got it. Caliber, you won’t believe it, a hundred fifty millimeters. One bullet weighs kilo eight hundred and thirty. Why are you lying? Well, eight hundred and twenty kilos. Am I, that's it? remember?... - Has anyone gone to see the Ussuri tiger? But I did. Terrible beast, I say to you. I say kitty, kitty, kitty to him. And he - how it will bite! Here, on the little finger, see? For the wholelife mark... - The most terrible animal is the rhinoceros. A real predator! His mouth is like this what the car will fit through. Ethiopians have it on they catch a fishing rod. Well yes, a pig on a hook planted - and into the water. And to the shore they are pulled out with a winch. But he doesn't given. When we pulled him out, he was thirty the man pressed down. Or maybe that's all fifty... - I was hunting a dingo. In appearance - an ordinary mongrel. But terribly wild. All so marsupial. They have it in Australia The animals are exclusively marsupials. Marsupial wolf, marsupial rabbit. Here comes the dog - also a marsupial. Have you seen my wife's bag? It's from a wild dingo dog. Trophy... From the life of birds * Distinguish teal from any other duck A characteristic mark will help. If believe reference book "Game Birds of Russia", on the left side, under the wing, there should be clear inscription - "Fig. 51. Teal". * By the way, teal is different from teal. Specialists distinguish at least threeoriginal varieties. Something like: teal chatterbox, squeaking teal and whispering teal. A they are called teals because they are not they quack like all normal ducks, and chirping like sparrows. * If the duck does not want to take off from the water, but only dives endlessly, know that she mocks. Answer her in kind. When it will still take off, you won’t even get into it take aim. Let her be ashamed. * A decoy for duck hunting is a great thing. But what if there is no semolina? It's OK. Enough to hide in the reeds and cry out in a plaintive voice - "I don't have a gun, I don't have a gun." Ducks they'll think you don't have a gun, and will flock together. And then you jump out, and how shoot! * While hunting quail you you will surely hear the song of this cunning birds - "It's time to sleep, it's time to sleep." Don't trust her. She's fooling you. * Makes excellent Arctic partridge from ordinary domestic chicken, if it paint it with whitewash and roll it in fluff. Why is this necessary? I have no idea... * The hazel grouse is called hazel grouse because hepockmarked Capercaillie - because he is deaf. Why is a hoopoe called a hoopoe? Because that this is a scary-looking bird. Real udodina! * Contrary to popular belief, in woodcocks, snipe and other small Easter cakes should not be shot with small shot, and large buckshot. And even better - bear bullet. Still can't get there It will work out, but what a feeling! * If it seems to you that there is no upland game (and, as a rule, there is none in one forest), don't give a damn about this hunt, settle down under some spreading tree birch, take out a sandwich with jam... And shoot with your inlaid, piece vertical these impudent, predatory flies. * Remember once and for all: drake - this is not a repainted duck, and a bustard is not plump quail. First hunt Getting ready for the first hunt in my life, you should only listen to internal voice and in no case - to advice the so-called "experienced".A backpack, for example, should be taken big enough to fit everything necessary. At the bottom of the backpack you need put a tent, sleeping bag, folding bed Then pack a change of clothes, spare trousers (you never know?), second boots, coat with fur. Top in backpack products are stacked - rice, buckwheat, barley, vermicelli, cooking oil, sugar and salt. Everything is per kilogram and in separate bags. Don't forget about the condensed milk, canned fish, pickled cucumbers. You shouldn't take a lot of vodka. Better take a lot of cognac. You need to dress lightly, casually. If we are not talking about winter hunting, but cotton It's better not to wear trousers. Wear comfortable ones worn out jeans, and already on top - cotton trousers. Boots need to be selected in five sizes more. And be sure to grab a pair old sheets - for foot wraps. Completes the novice hunter's wardrobe two cotton T-shirts, two shirts and two canvas jackets. Wearing one for one, theyprotect you from bites mosquitoes, midges and tsetse flies. Now about weapons. Novice Hunter must have a sufficient supply of rags, gun oil, brushes and cleaning rods, so you can clean the gun after every shot. Pour oil into put the canister and rags into the pillowcase. A place cleaning rods and brushes here and there in backpack. In order not to find yourself in the midst of a hunt without ammunition, equip three bandoliers. One should gird himself, and two tie the remaining ones crosswise, on partisan style. Does a hunter need a knife? Naive question Of course you need it! And not one or two, but pieces ten. The biggest knife should be the size of a cavalry saber, the most small - about the size of a safety pin. C they go at the bear with a big knife, with small ones - like a wild flea. Before leaving the house, be sure to weigh your equipment. If it comes out less hundred kilograms, that means you are something forgot. Maybe an electric razor and portable TV? Lesnoyeassorted * Honorary title "Skirmisher" assigned to Tambov amateur hunter Moses To the sniper. Having spent three hundred cartridges, for a long time he could not get into taxed local wolf gang. After which the seasoned predator, unable to bear it, took away lover of a gun and, with the words “oh you, Comrade," he shot himself. * Hunting estate "Great Nonsense" introduced a new type of trophy hunting for wealthy foreigners. For only five thousand dollars foreign guests receive a generous feast, Russian bathhouse and a trip to bear shooting Russian traditional way - aspen Drin. As a result of innovations in the farm's livestock has sharply decreased foreigners. * For specialized farming "Zavidovo" a branch "Obzavidovo" was created, not intended for the highest government leaders, and for privates citizens. For a nominal fee branch visitors can watch how on the central estate they hunt deer Nya, they eat kebabs and drink whiskey.* For three days and three nights the Chukchi were driven hunters of an unknown beast. And then three day and for three nights they ran away from him. So far for now they don’t even know what kind of animal it was, however. * The shooting tournament took place in fishing artel "Sakha to you, Yakutia". First place was not awarded to anyone, so how long before the final the jury members raised hands and fled to the taiga. * The World Championships took place in Greenland spitting up. Since the competition passed at fifty degrees frost, all participants ended up in the hospital with head injuries. * Deciding to outsmart Wolverine, hunter-athlete O. Khlobystin changed into hers skin and lay down on a forest path. What is it like the hunters were surprised when they Removed from the belly of a captured animal a rumpled enthusiast! After all, wolverines are under We have never been around Voronezh. *On a barrier reef off the coast of Australia is very popular ancient pirate feeding ritual sharks According to the good old tradition, captain the ship is countingpassengers on "first-second". After which the "first" fed sharks "second", and after a while - on the contrary. The passengers having fun like children. Gun secrets * Domestic industry has mastered release of a unique hunting rifle PYZH-16. The gun is equipped with sixteen barrels for all known calibers - from rifled 5.6 mm to shotgun 12 caliber. The owner of such a gun does not will problems with ammunition because it shoots it is everything. It is even provided barrel for spitting peas. What if cartridges of all calibers have run out, and need to hunt? * On a bear hunt, the butt can serve no worse than the gun as a whole. Grasp for the trunks. Swing yourselves. And apply a convincing blow to a vulnerable part of the body animal. Just keep in mind - bear's vulnerable point is located on left lower paw. And it is only the size of penny coin. So first put to sleep vigilance of the beast, tickle himheels, for example. And only after that act decisively, boldly. * How to shoot a shotgun correctly guns? Load it with a cartridge. Close trunk Place the back of the butt against shoulder Grasp the neck of the butt with a brush right hand. Support the handguard with your left hand. Place your cheek against the butt. Locate the trigger with your index finger hook Close your left eye and aim with your right. Close your right eye eye and aim with your left. Close your eyes both eyes. Shut your mouth. Click on the trigger is smooth, without unnecessary nervousness. Didn't it shoot? Who's the trigger? will you cock it, you weirdo?! *Apply to the back of the stock a hundred small crooked notches. Now on question - "what is it" - you can answer casually - “ah, nonsense, so much I got saber-toothed tigers in the forests Vologda region!" * Have you unexpectedly run out of matches? No problem! Collect some dry moss. Sprinkle it with gunpowder cartridge. Splash a drop of gasoline. Add a little bit of trinitrotoluene. Moisten nitroglycerin. Pastedetonator. Well now you are a bit of a terrorist...
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