The Joys of Being Phat
Hi there again my phat phriends! I thought I'd take this phine opportunity to tell you how great it is to be PHAT!
Where do I start? Mebbe with the breasts? What about the spare tyre? No. I'll start at the same place all phat people start.
Phood! Where else could we start?
So... Phood!
Eat ANYTHING! Lard is best. I hear that in the UK, Lard is the phood oph champions. I eat it regularly. It's hard to come by it in large doses, but I have a phriend who can get it imported illegally. I have heard that there are laws written to combat these kind oph activities, but I can't conphirm it. Iph you can't phind Lard, then eat Pies! These are almost guaranteed to get you that real hardcore wide boy look. I have heard that in some countries, some brands oph Pie come with a money back guarantee 'Get Phat' scheme. Dephinately worth a try iph you can phind it.
Do I Need a Brassiere?
Iph, like me, you are the phatest person on your block, then you can bet your phat ass, that you need a bra. You'll probably phind it pheels alot better to wear one as your boy boobs really can sag without one iph you continue to bounce around phrom pie shop to pie shop. I've phound that alot oph clothes stores will actually measure you up phor one. So you need not go through all that hastle oph trying on all those diphpherent sizes.
Spare Tyre?
This is the only bad thing to being phat. 'Spare tyre bad?' I hear you ask. OK, so a phat gut is the most roxxor thing you can think oph, but no. It couldn't be phurther phrom the truth. Let me tell you, when you get to the phatest phat level oph phatman, you can't see your tiny little todger! It's almost like the phat phrom your phallus has gone into your spare tyre! That's right pholks, the phatter you get, the smaller Mr. Happy gets - PHACT!
Lots oph Love,
LacReaM xXx
Share your thoughts about the article