---------- Track: IRONMAN: -=*=- -=*=- -=*=- By: ---------- "How we were friends with the Fedorchuks" My parents were friends with the Fedorchuks. There were three Fedorchukovs: dad, actually Fedorchuk, his wife - Fedorchuchikha - and daughter - Fedorchuchka. That's what my mother called Fedorchukov when they didn't hear it. If the Fedorchuks turned out to be nearby, then mom addressed them completely different: Valerosik, Lenusik and Katyusik-masyusik. Mom and Fedorchuchikha chatted every evening by phone. I remember one time in the winter... “Oh, Lenusik,” said my mother. Fedorchuchikha, how do I like you? I miss you!.. No,Lenusik, you I should definitely take this coat!... A I say, it suits you!... But, Lenusik! Trust my taste!.. Yes, certainly!.. Definitely, Lenusik, yes!... And how is my precious Katyusik?... Is he coughing again?... Oh, poor child!... There was no need for her give it to the figure!... They're all there they catch a cold!... And we are our Nikolai let's send it to dance!... Ah... Yes?... Yes?... Well, bye, honey! Bye! Hello Valerosik, yes!... And from Vladimir, yes!... And Katyusik’s kiss my little boy!... Thank you!... Thank you!... Bye!... “Can you imagine,” hanging up the phone, Mom turned to dad, - this cow Fedorchuchikha buys from Lydia Aristarkhovny's coat, which I I was going to take it from the bonus! “Mm,” dad agreed, without looking up from his eyes. TV. - Why are you mooing like a bull?! - boiled Mom, - They are taking your wife away from under her nose. coat, about which she can be said dreamed of it since childhood, but you hum and don’t calving! “You already have two coats,” Dad reminded.- Two coats! Two coats! And they also Fedora with her fat ass on a curly Skating is over! “Nothing will come of it,” calmly Dad answered, “The data is wrong.” - I know it’s not the same! - Mom muttered - How did she even get accepted?! - Mom, I don’t want to go to dance class, - I said. - How can you not want it?! - Mom was indignant , - Do you want everything like your dad? spend your life watching TV?! Over there Fedorchukov girl is engaged in figure skating skating, maybe she will become a champion world and Europe! And you? Stupid! You'll go to dancing and no talking! - I don’t want to go to dance class! - I shouted. - You'll go! - Mom screamed. - We've already hesitated! - Dad shouted and turned up the TV volume. Again The phone rang. Mom grabbed the phone. - Hello?! Hellooooo?! Yes! I'm listening!... Ah, Lenusik! . her voice immediately acquired unctuous intonations, - Here, nearby?B two blocks? Well, yes! Volodik! . She turned to dad, “Do it.” Turn down the TV! Kolya, stop it roar! Of course, my dear! Certainly! We are looking forward to it! Yes, yes! Yes! Yes! - What else is there? - Dad asked again increasing the volume. “Nothing,” my mother said angrily, “ The Fedorchuks are coming to visit us now the whole family! Get up for the sake of Decency, vacuum the carpet! I have dumplings in the freezer, I'm about to I'll cook it quickly. I was sitting under the table and rocking like Yakut shaman, whined: _I don’t want to dance, I don't want to dance..._ - Kolya! - Mom shouted, “Get out of here.” under the table! Go wash yourself! Now guests they will come! - I don’t want to wash my face... - I groaned, - I don't want guests... - Yes, what kind of child is this! - she shouted Mom, - Who did I tell!... - I don’t want to!.... - Vova, turn it offvacuum cleaner! Someone again calling! Dad gnashed his teeth and slammed his fist into the button vacuum cleaner. - Hello?! Lenusik?... Oh, Ninochka? What happened?... Fifteen rubles?... U We don't have a penny now!... They promised Vova prize, but they never gave it... So I say!...What are you saying?!... The doorbell rang. - Vova, open! Oh, Ninusik, I tell you I’ll call you back later!... Vova, I asked open you up! Yes, Nin, bye! Oh, I have the dumplings ran away! Certainly! And Kostyunchik Hello!... Yes, yes!... And from Volodik!... Ciao!... Kolya, stop this howl!... No you won't go to any dance hall, just shut up!... Oh! Who is this coming to us? came, huh?! Oooh, what a fur coat, what boots! My God! Vova, put away the vacuum cleaner! Oh, Katyusik-masyusik! What a beauty! future Rodnina and Zaitsev! Oh, Lenusik, I'm so glad to see you! Vova, pull it out dumplings! Coat! God, I'm I told you it was created for you! And you I didn’t believe it! Well, please come to the table! The Fedorchuks sat down at the table and began to eat dumplings. - Adore! - said Fedorchuk, - Dumplings - firstClass! - Well, who will be great among us? dancer? - Fedorchuchikha asked slyly looking at me. “Nobody,” I said. - How-a-a-ha?! - Fedorchuchikha was surprised, - You wanted to give it to dance? “And we already wanted to go back,” he said. I. - How is this? - shook her head in bewilderment Fedorchuchikha's shoulders. - It will go, it will go! - Mom promised Fedorchuchikha. - He's about to turn six. - so right away. - I won’t go... - I started again gundyozh. “You eat,” mother regaled Fedorchukov, - Don’t pay attention to him attention. - But our Katerina makes big ones success in ice dancing, - boasted Fedorchuchikha, - She is already on her way from one side to the other and almost does not fall.- I'm sure she will become a champion Moscow! - Mom said joyfully. - take it higher! - the father of the future champions. “Nothing will come of it,” tactlessly I said, “The data is wrong!” - Kolya, what are you talking about?! - hissed at me mom. “Wrong data,” I repeated stubbornly, “ She's a fat-assed Fedor chick! What's her name accepted at all?! Fedorchka whined. - Kolya! - Mom slapped me lightly the back of the head. It didn't hurt me though the development of the topic required tears, so I roared loudly. - Still, you need to keep the child in rigor! - said edifyingly Fedorchuk. - We're holding! - Mom answered. - Yes, we see, - skeptically said Fedorchuchikha. - Oh, just don't need itteach me how raise children! - with a slight Mom said irritably, “I have two brothers and sister helped mother babysit! - Oh, just don’t do that to us. talk! - answered her in tone Fedorchuchikha. - Stop quarreling, women! - Fedorchuk asked peacefully. Woman- this is kindness, beauty... “Cow,” I said, wiping away tears. quite useful. - What? - Fedorchuchikha asked. - The cow takes the coat that I dreamed of it as a child, and my dad is mooing like a bull, - I explained. - I don’t understand anything! - exclaimed Fedorchuchikha. - Kolya, will you shut up today or not?! - Mom screamed and rewarded me already quite a serious slap. I screamed at the top of my lungs. - Yyyyyy! I want to go home! - Fedorchuchka whined.- What are you teaching your child?! - Fedorchuk said indignantly. - What do you think we are teaching him?! - Mom responded indignantly. - All sorts of nasty things! - stated Fedorchuchikha. - What nasty things?! . Mom screamed, I have a higher education in the humanities! Vova, why are you silent?! - And in your opinion, I have a scrubber technical school?! - Fedorchuk shouted at his mother. - Don't yell at my wife, you remnant! - Dad shouted at Fedorchuk. - Lena, did you hear?! - appealed to Fedorchuchikha Fedorchuk. - What should we do here? nothing! We're leaving immediately! - Come on, pedal! - with Mom said with contempt. - Boorish! - Fedorchuchikha told her mother. - At least I learned to cook! Dumplings - worse than in a diner! - Cow! - Mom answered, “My right.” child! Cow! And you're wearing a coat likethe cow is wearing a peignoir! Forgive me Kolenka! You were right, my sunshine! And mom kissed me. - Bye, Fedorchuchka! - I said Farewell to Fedorchuchka. - Kolya-Kol - there's a mole in the butt! - answered I'm Fedorchuchka. And she smiled.
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