Humor - About Fedot the Sagittarius.

----------                              
Track: RAINBOW DREAMS                   
By: Mast/FtL 07.24.98     
 ----------
HUNTER:                               
Believe it or not, I lived on white    
light                                   
Fedot the Sagittarius, a daring fellow.          
Fedot was neither handsome nor ugly, nor      
ruddy, not pale,                       
Neither rich nor poor, neither in scab nor in     
brocade, and so, in general.                    
Fedot's service includes fishing and hunting. To the Tsar
- game and fish,                         
Fedot - thank you. Guests in the palace - how
seeds in cucumber.                         
One from Sweden, the other from Greece,       
The third one is from Hawaii - and give everyone something to eat!  
One - lobster, the other - squid,   
The third one gets sardines, but there is only one earner!     
One day they give him an order - at first light  
report to court in the morning.                
The king looks like a morel, head with a fist,   
And the viciousness in him is enormous.    
He looks at Fedka like an ulcer      
radish.                                 
Fedka's shirt got wet from fear,     
There was a pounding in my temples, a rumbling in my belly,    
Here, as they say, andthe beginning of a fairy tale...  
                                        
KING:                                   
Arrived for our morning pickle         
Aglitsky Ambassador,                        
And in our house we have snacks - half a cup and  
callus.                                  
Get ready, brother, let's go and eat some food  
get us -                            
Capercaillie or partridge. Al isho          
anyone.                            
If you can't - who to blame? - I have to    
execute you.                           
A matter of state, you get it    
thread?..                                 
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
Is there something I don’t understand in my mind?
Tea, I'm slurping cabbage soup, I'm wondering what's going on
what.                                   
It turns out that all politics is on me       
country:                                 
If I don’t get a partridge, there will certainly be  
war.                                  
So that the Aglit ambassador does not starve 
angry,                                    
I won’t spare my head, I’ll provide the pickle!.. 
                                        
FUN:                               
The king's word is harder than crackers.               
If he sends you to the bear, you will go to the bear, 
And where to go - you have to, Fedya!           
Or game and fish - or sword and rack.       
Fedot walked around a hundred forests, a hundred swamps,It’s all in vain - no partridge, no wood grouse!  
Tired, no urine, and it’s late at night.      
Even with an empty bag, it’s time to go home.      
Suddenly he sees a forest dove bird,    
Sits, does not hide, is not afraid of a gun...     
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
What a misfortune, what a disaster, there is no game and    
trace.                                  
I'll shoot a pigeon, at least some kind    
food!                                    
                                        
BLUEBERRY:                               
You, Fedot, don’t touch me,               
There's not a penny's worth of benefit in this 
fill it up                              
And you can't stuff the pillow.                   
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
Either the goblin is zealous these days, or the air    
drunk now                             
Either something happened in my ear or something.    
flaw?                                  
                                        
BLUEBERRY:                               
Don’t commit robbery, Fedot, but take me from
by yourself.                                  
As soon as you bring me into the light, I will become     
your destiny.                          
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
What kind of parable is this - I don’t understand?.. Okay, get in 
to my bag!..We'll figure it out on the spot, who's going where and what 
why!                                 
                                        
FUN:                               
Fedot brought the turtle dove to his place, which means he 
Gorenka.                                
He sits sadly, hanging his head.       
And there are serious reasons for sadness.   
Our Fedot's hunt did not go well.     
But the tsar doesn’t like to joke - it hits his head     
will chop off                                
Fedot sits, sad, with white light  
says goodbye.                              
I remembered about the bird, the forest pigeon.   
Lo and behold, the middle of the fire, instead of that    
doves,                               
There is a beautiful girl standing, slender, like      
tree!..                              
                                        
MARUSYA:                                 
Hello, Fedya!..You and me -            
We are now one family, I am your wife,       
Marusya,                                 
I am your wife.                      
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
I could look at you, my soul, for centuries, but    
breathing                                   
I just can’t become your husband      
There's not a lot of light!..                       
I was there - just before dawn - at the reception    
king,                                   
Well, the king gave me a task in the sense of    
meanscapercaillie.                        
Even though it’s not the season for game, you can argue with     
there is no reason for the authorities:                       
Okay, I think I'll get some tea, capercaillie, not
bison.                                  
I walked all day, but good luck - at least
would be a shadow:                                
Not a single serious bird, everything is solid  
rubbish!..                            
And now, my dear friend, I have no time for dancing  
to the meadow -                              
Tomorrow the king will chop me off for this matter   
head.                                  
                                        
MARUSYA:                                 
Don't freak out and don't whine! there will be a table and   
it will be wild!                             
Well, stand in front of me, Tit Kuzmich and 
Frol Fomich!                             
(Marusya claps her hands - they appear   
two stalwarts)                      
If you understand the order, follow it  
hour!                                    
                                        
Well done:                                
Don't hesitate, tea, it's not in  
first time!..                           
                                        
FUN:                               
And the king and the ambassador are already sitting at the table.     
Nearby - look! - the princess and the nanny.
And everyone is waiting for the promised food from Fedya.     
What's a conversation without a hearty lunch?       
Athe table is empty: carrots and cabbage,   
Dill and parsley - that’s the whole feast.  
The guest is bored, shaking his boots, holes  
studying on the tablecloth.                    
Suddenly, as if from heaven, a loaf of bread and caviar 
badeyka, turkey stew,               
Sterlet ear, veal offal, and so on
There are thousands of food names!              
With such food, how can there not be a conversation!..  
                                        
KING:                                   
Causes antires your technical        
progress:                               
How do you sow rutabaga there - with the peel?   
or without?..                              
                                        
AMBASSADOR:                                  
yes!                                    
                                        
KING:                                   
Causes antiresis your nutritional        
process:                                
How do you drink kakava there - with saccharin 
or without?..                              
                                        
AMBASSADOR:                                  
yes!                                    
                                        
KING:                                   
Causes antires and the following isho cut:    
How do your women walk around there - in pantaloons? 
or without?..                              
                                        
AMBASSADOR:yes!                                    
                                        
Nanny:                                 
I would be ashamed of the ambassador!.. Al absolutely  
weak head?..                         
No matter what they say, everything will come together
on women!..                               
                                        
KING:                                   
Are you playing your tune again? I'm going to jail    
keep this in mind!                            
I'm not just babbling, I'm politics    
I'm leading!                                   
The Avon girl has grown up, and then how        
half a paddle!                               
So I’m thinking about how to pass our thief off as
ambassador!                                  
You just need to use it to lure him, not
angry -                                   
Make subtle hints in a casual manner and from afar.
                                        
Nanny:                                 
Yes, even I wouldn’t marry this ambassador, - 
So he stares, the scoundrel, to shave off 
off the table!                               
He’s all “yes” and “yes” for you, and meanwhile 
everything eats and eats.                         
Turn away - so he will swallow half the kingdom 
in one sitting!                         
                                        
KING:                                   
Either sew your mouth shut, or I’ll kick you out!  
You and so to medissuaded all overseas   
attaches!                                
Once upon a time there was a Gespan grandee, already a dandy, 
what a dandy!                             
There's a diamond in each ear - why don't you 
option                                 
You set it up so that the guest would inadvertently   
sat on a nail                          
And the visitor’s otsedova is political       
anger!..                               
                                        
Nanny:                                 
Why, I remember!.. This grand was devoured 
great talent:                         
He got into the plate with his head and got it all dirty    
fat bow!                             
Whatever you ask the grandee, he’s like an ass 
"si" yes "si",                           
Well, he’s still leaning on the herring Ivasi! 
                                        
KING:                                   
I will rot you to the roots for your line!    
I'm not joking with you, I'm talking seriously! 
From Germany, the baron was good from everyone     
sides,                                 
I couldn’t resist even here - I gave it to him     
damage                                   
Who threw him a dead man at the bottom of the bucket?     
mouse?                                   
You're a real pest, you damned one.     
soul!..                                 
                                        
Nanny:                                 
Yes, that was your baroncrack   
not bad,                                
Put him in a flock of crows and he will take him away.   
raven                                  
Looking proud - “I-a” and “I-a”,         
And gluttonous as a pig, give me straw -   
eat straw                           
Tea, someone else's - not your own!..                 
                                        
KING:                                   
Well, little spy, give it time and I'll throw you in jail. 
prison!                                 
Well, I'm not an angry guy, but         
strict with pests.                      
So answer me - don’t waste words! - Where   
should the princess take a husband?                     
Tea, you fool yourself, you see - the suitors   
She's no army!                            
If only a regiment were crowded here - in bickering
it would make sense                            
Well, no - grab anyone, even if he  
Bryansk wolf!..                        
                                        
QUEEN:                                
If you are in power in Russia, then rule     
Scatter to your heart's content,                         
Don't meddle in my destiny. And to my love 
don't interfere!                               
In the house of these attaches there are a hundred pieces per floor,
Their cologne can’t even breathe for me anymore!..
                                        
KING:                                   
If love is truly evil, then you will love 
and the ambassador.And at the same time you will improve my trading affairs.
I'll melt hemp under this antires and 
forest                                    
All publicity agrees, only you  
you're going against it!..                        
                                        
QUEEN:                                
No matter how much you frown, I repeat   
again and again:                          
An individual has the right to free love!
Maybe it would finally come to the rings,
-                                       
If only Yours suddenly wooed me           
Fedotushko the Sagittarius!..                    
                                        
KING:                                   
Tsk, you fool!.. Shut up!.. The test belongs 
ovens!                                   
Well, go to your room and         
Learn solfege!                         
And the damned archer, insolent and        
scoundrel,                                
With whips and boots I will at once dare you to    
palace!..                               
                                        
FUN:                               
The king had a general who was collecting information.
He will hide his face in his beard and walk away      
city.                                 
Sniffs, a dog, thinking differently.     
He overhears conversations - what if   
country of conspirators?                     
Wherever he hears the FAQ, he will write it down in a book.  
Aat seven in Akurat - to the king for a report.  
                                        
KING:                                   
What's not funny, general? Ali measles        
fell ill                               
Did you get drunk on the mash, or did you lose at cards?
Ali service is not nice. Ali's army is small,     
Ali found damage in the cannon       
trunk?                                 
Report without any lies why on     
heart of darkness -                           
I would like to know in detail who, where, FAQ 
and how!..                                
                                        
GENERAL:                                
I was just with the archer, with Fedot the daredevil,
As soon as he saw his wife, he blurted out 
from the porch.                              
The third day - hey, I’m not lying! - Saber in  
I don't take hands                           
And such dreaminess. Look at that
I'll die!                                  
And the other day there was a sin - I almost made it up  
rhyme,                                 
The doctors got scared, they say it's a love affair
shock!..                                  
                                        
KING:                                   
The archer passed me by!.. But he knew that 
I'm a widower!..                             
Well, in a moment I steal the ent to deliver it to me 
palace!                                 
And the insidious archer this very hourerase 
from the face                                 
So that he doesn't hang around ours       
porch!..                              
                                        
GENERAL:                                
Kidnapping her is not difficult, but it hurts people
cool:                                   
How do they find out whose idea is to pulverize you? 
will erase!                                 
People have become daring these days. Don't put it in them   
finger in mouth -                          
We don’t favor Fedot, but the people do the opposite!
                                        
KING:                                   
You are such a fool on Saturdays or    
how?                                    
There is something I must explain to the minister to any 
nothing?                                 
So that people don’t talk bad about the Tsar    
in vain,                                  
Act strictly according to the law, that is      
act... quietly.                    
Well, I’m right there, I’ll reward you for
labor:                                   
The blacksmiths were given a task - an order for tomorrow
bind!..                                
                                        
FUN:                               
The general collected his mind all day long.
I kept thinking in the sweat of my brow how to get rid of 
from the shooter.                             
Yes, the thoughts in my head turned sour from tension.     
I remembered in my spare time about an old friend,    
Baba YagaBone leg:                 
“I’ll go see her, she’s smarter!..”        
And that middle of the oak grove gathers herbs,     
Brews all sorts of poisons. How I saw it     
general -                              
I lost all the herbariums. I miss you   
wilderness without a soul mate!..           
                                        
YAGA:                                    
You chavoy are not yourself, not ruddy,     
lifeless!..                              
Ali is a Swede near St. Petersburg, or a Turk near 
Moscow?..                              
Eat aspen bark and you'll cheer up  
pores:                                   
Tea, not some kind of chemistry, tea, natural     
gifts!                                   
Her juice, general, contains something useful    
mineral,-                               
Not a single one of the generals came from him         
was dying!..                               
                                        
GENERAL:                                
That's enough, grandma!.. I'm not sick!.. Let's go away 
over the hill!..                             
Rest about hedgehogs and squirrels, there is a serious one   
conversation.                               
Here we have one Sagittarius - a lot          
competent, bastard!..                   
So I got the task to inform him     
finally!                                 
But how? cut off your head - rumor has it   
will start blowing!..                       
Notcan you help me with advice on how to be smarter than him?  
ruin?..                              
                                        
YAGA:                                    
Conjure, woman, conjure, grandfather, three on the side - 
yours are not there                              
Ace of diamonds, pine coffin, pro        
Sagittarius give me the answer!                 
If he is so zealous and quick, that with the king   
gets into an argument -                       
Let him get the sewn one by tomorrow       
gold carpet                          
So that it is visible, like on a map, all
country,                                 
Well, if he doesn’t get it, then the earner   
wine!..                                 
                                        
GENERAL:                                
Hey grandma! Oh yes special! So much trouble 
end!                                  
Even if you were taken out of the mortar, you would become a minister 
to the palace!                              
But there’s trouble with the German, how far is it from trouble?
And with you I’m ready even for reconnaissance,    
anywhere!                              
For good I pay with good: if you like, with a marten,  
like a beaver,                          
If you don't want it, I can use a coin, gold or    
silver!..                             
                                        
YAGA:                                    
That's enough, dove, don't sin, put yours away     
pennies,-                                 
I'm not for thismoney, I'm the one   
for the soul.                               
If there is a new problem, hurry straight here.  
Tea, and we are not animals in the forest, tea, we will help 
always!..                             
                                        
FUN:                               
The king is calling the archer, a daring young man.   
Isho didn’t give the task, and he’s already angry in advance.
Knocking with his hands, knocking with his feet, with his eyes      
rotates, in general, frightens.             
He really wants to tell Fedot that    
It’s important that there’s an ache right in the bones!..           
                                        
KING:                                   
Get a carpet embroidered with gold by morning  
pattern!..                                 
It's a matter of state - hurt yourself, but    
be kind!                             
So that it is visible, like on a map, all
country,                                 
Because I have no view from the balcony  
what the hell!                                  
If you can’t find the FAQ, I’ll shorten it by the head,  
I'll hand you over at dawn right into my paws   
executioner!                                 
                                        
FUN:                               
Fedot came home, dumb from grief.      
Sat in the corner, looking at the ceiling,         
Manya calls, and he shakes his neck,       
He doesn’t want anything, he sulks and whines...   
                                        
MARUSYA:Are you often angry like a hedgehog? You often don’t eat -
don't drink?                               
Is the porridge burnt, or is the jelly bad?
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
What kind of food is there! The king is angry - right    
trouble!                                   
There is no justice or court for this villain!
Get it, he screams, a carpet - embroidered with gold
pattern -                                  
The width of the entire Race is a hundred forests and a hundred
lakes!..                                 
                                        
MARUSYA:                                 
Don't freak out and don't whine! Let him rage   
old bastard!                            
Come on, stand in front of me, Tit Kuzmich 
and Frol Fomich!                           
(Marusya claps her hands - they appear   
two stalwarts)                      
If you understand the order, follow it  
hour!                                    
                                        
Well done:                                
Don't hesitate, tea, it's not in  
first time!                             
                                        
FUN:                               
The next morning Fedot is at the Tsar’s Gate.         
I came to the reception and received the carpet.        
Stands smiling, the guards are not afraid.    
The king was surprised and even choked on caviar.      
Anger wears him down, but he can’t show itwants.   
He looks like he's happy!..      
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
Yesterday you asked for a carpet, so I gave it to you  
pinned                                 
Everything is in accordance with the contract - both the drawing and    
color                                  
The entire Raseyushka is completely reflected on the carpet.  
This carpet is a gift to you, woven by me    
wife!..                                 
                                        
KING:                                   
Oh wow! Oh yeah, grab it! How many 
are you married?                               
Ali, you immediately matched a whole weaving   
plant?                               
You, Fedot, have a wife, although she’s smart, but still
alone!                                   
And it’s their division to weave something like this in a night    
needed!..                                
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
Isn't the carpet pleasing to the eye? Al is not the one in   
carpet pattern?                             
Well, I put it under my arm and it’s over    
conversation.                               
                                        
KING:                                   
I would like to beat you with whips, four or 
five,                                 
So that you don't mock the serious ones    
people!                                 
But since I calmly honororder and     
law -                                 
Here's a nickel for vodka and you're off  
out!..
                                  
FUN:                               
The king is calling the general, the pin is in his        
visor!                                
The king's face looks like a beet,           
And when it's red, it's on hand         
dangerous!                                
the infection hits, not more than once, but it hits
not by sight.                          
The general tested this on himself: from the beginning 
fairy tales walks in a bandage!..               
                                        
KING:                                   
Well, bro, what's the result? Confused     
a little?                                  
Just this little bit will take about about a year
heels!                                  
You are broad in the shoulders, but your head is completely
withered away.                                  
Here's your little mind and you can correct it for the government ones   
grub!..                               
                                        
GENERAL:                                
Throw me in prison for any period of time
-                                       
However, this science will not suit me, I fool,
for future use!                                  
I would like a saber and a horse - but in the line of fire!
And palace intrigues - that’s not what it’s all about.  
me!KING:                                   
You, your honor, give me the heat 
flog!                                 
You figure out how to give us Fedot without a saber   
overcome!                               
Well, if you're a fool, don't look for guilt 
com:                                    
I'll clean your snout personally          
fist!..                              
                                        
HUNTER:                               
It was in vain that the general rubbed his hands: it didn’t work out    
raid to destroy Fedot.                 
Again the poor guy's head is tense.        
And in the head - hear! - well, at least one  
little thought!                               
I thought and thought and came up with nothing.         
No matter how you look at it, you can’t do without Yaga!    
I went into the oak grove again - to look for     
I’ll control Fedotka!..                       
                                        
YAGA:                                    
Are you gloomy again? What's the reason, who
guilt?                                  
Al Gespanis is chasing, al Frenchman     
went to war?..                         
This is jelly made from mold! Tea, haven't tried it 
until now?                                 
Drink it and you’ll immediately forget about the worldly 
carousel!                               
It doesn't taste that good, but it removes 
trembling,                                  
you will be healthy by tomorrow ifonly 
you won't die!..                           
                                        
GENERAL:                                
I'm talking about Sagittarius again! No to my misfortune  
end!                                  
That's why I'm sick, that's why I'm sleeping on my face.
What a scoundrel, cunning - to everyone around   
wiped their noses!                              
No matter how much you conjure here, he got it   
that carpet!                              
Even though he looks like a simpleton, his head      
cook master,                          
So from now on, cast your magic more seriously, with      
feeling, so good for you!              
                                        
YAGA:                                    
Conjure, woman, conjure, grandfather, three on the side - 
yours are not there                              
Ace of diamonds, pine coffin, pro        
Sagittarius give me the answer!                 
So!.. Hey!.. Uh-huh!.. Aha!..             
This is what Yaga found out: let him find you 
deer, so that the horns are made of gold!..           
Search the whole wide world - there are those in       
nature does not!                            
This is what I’m telling you, my dear, how        
local historian!..                              
                                        
FUN:                               
The king is calling the archer, a daring young man.   
Our Fedot failed to wipe the sweat from his face, but 
The villain king has a new idea.               
The Tsar is seething with ideas, and Fedotka is sweating!  
In general,Fedka's life is worse than bitter  
radishes!..                               
                                        
KING:                                   
Well, throw off the blues and laziness and hit the road
this very day!                            
State business is desperately needed    
deer!                                  
If you are the king's servant, go beyond the mountains, beyond   
meadows and find me a deer there,              
To have horns made of gold. Don't gundi and don't      
pepper, but go and provide,              
Otherwise, in a moment you’ll find out how the head is     
flies off your shoulders!..                       
                                        
FUN:                               
Fedot came home, his snot was a fringe!   
He sat down in front of the torch, hugging the torch. 
His beautiful wife throws herself on his neck, and he 
doesn’t even touch his wife!                  
He sits and cries, which means he’s grieving!..       
                                        
MARUSYA:                                 
Are you looking like an owl? Al you're spinning  
about what?                                 
There's not enough salt in the hodgepodge, Al's beefsteak   
underperformed?                             
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
What a lunch! The king tortured -    
I won't save you!                              
In the morning I will have to hold him in front of him again 
answer!This king of a fierce enemy is sending me again
on the run:                                 
Find, he shouts, a deer made of gold    
horns!..                                 
                                        
MARUSYA:                                 
Don't freak out and don't whine! There are sorrows and  
by the way!                                 
Well, stand before me, Tit Kuzmich and
Frol Fomich!                             
(Marusya claps her hands - they appear   
two stalwarts)                      
If you understand the order, carry it out immediately
hour!                                    
                                        
Well done:                                
Don't hesitate - tea, it's not in 
first time!..                           
                                        
FUN:                               
Just after light Fedot is at the Tsar's Gate.      
I came to the reception, and a deer was there.        
The king's left side stabbed with anger. Crushed
I would be a nit, but I don’t show it.             
He sits, yawns, and hides his anger!..       
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
Have you been waiting for tea? Good afternoon Look in     
window, when you're not lazy!                    
You ordered a deer - well, here you go    
deer!                                  
And notice! - the horns on him are puffing    
fire                                   
From him without anylamps at night       
as bright as day!..                     
                                        
KING:                                   
Those deer - don't lie! - not in Tula,
not in Tver.                             
What is in Tver - in Baghdad itself they are at their best
three pieces!                              
Now think about it, soldier, where is Moscow? 
where is Baghdad?                           
Ali you hit the road to Baghdad the night before and    
back?..                                
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
Well, come on, you are a vigorous louse! And the deer is not for you 
good?                                    
And yesterday I was tolling my soul: take out the deer and   
put it down!..                               
If you are already rich, I will return it to    
Baghdad                                 
Who's in power there? - That's a guy 
will be glad!..                            
                                        
KING:                                   
You, Fedka, throw it at me, or with your head
you'll be apart!                           
I only see your hints        
through and through!                               
Well, okay, for prestige, isn't it the devil?  
forgive me!                               
Here's a nickel for vodka and go wherever you go   
do you want!..                               
                                        
FUN:The king calls the general - it’s important      
from under the blanket.                          
The general is in a panic, looking for underpants,     
understands - they’re not calling for gingerbread!         
The king sits on the throne - for the whole world       
angry.                                 
Black with anger, like a raven          
churchyard!..                              
                                        
KING:                                   
No matter how hard you fought, my dear, you didn’t hit    
Fedot in the snare!                          
A fictitious report has already been drawn up about you        
obituary                               
You just need to decide how to get back to you  
decide:                                 
Stun with a candelabra al pillow      
strangle?..                             
                                        
GENERAL:                                
I made a mistake, sir! Here's the saber      
if you want, hit it!                         
But Fedot doesn’t give me any more brains.  
turpentine!                              
What a fool - don’t blame me! I have a different one    
essence!                                   
I would like to attack somewhere. Al's on the assault
somewhere!..                          
                                        
KING:                                   
You're carrying a fighting sword, but here's a FAQ   
understand:                                  
It is necessary to defeat Fedot not with a sword, buthead!                                
Well, you'll be just as fast as you were before 
since then, -                            
I'll put you under the cow's face myself. 
ax!..                                
                                        
FUN:                               
Our fool strained his mind again. And that was it
Mind - small bins.                
I thought, thought, thought, and never came up with anything. 
He whistled for a horde of dogs - and to Yaga in the oak grove.
She saw the general and jumped right up to    
Ural.                                  
Yes, I came to my senses and returned: no matter how bad it was
turned around!..                           
                                        
YAGA:                                    
You chavoy are out of your mind! There's a pimple there  
lip!                                   
Oh, you'll waste your health            
political struggle!..                  
Try hare droppings! He is vigorous! He  
will get it!                                
And honey is much more healing, even though it doesn’t taste like
honey                                    
Although it tastes cool, and from it,       
sometimes they die,                           
But those that survive until old age      
live!..                                
                                        
GENERAL:                                
Don't mess with me, grandma! You seek   
way!Think of it like Fedot to the grave       
bring it!                                
No matter how hard you fought, Yaga, it didn’t work out.  
nevermind!                                   
Fedot got hold of a deer - precious antlers!
Blow your head and be more careful    
cast a spell.                                 
Our Sagittarius, as it turned out, is not so 
awesome!..                              
                                        
YAGA:                                    
Actually, I'm cunning in the sense of meanness     
guts,                                  
But chavoy doesn’t conjure me today  
morning!..                                 
Everything stings and hurts, and there’s fire in my chest   
it's burning!..                                
I have long suspected that I have encephalitis!..  
Oh, chavoy, I feel bad! Listen, ka        
creaks in the back?                       
In a word, since this is the case, I’m totally     
bulletin!                                
                                        
GENERAL:                                
If you get sick - no problem! Eat the frog from   
pond!                                  
There is no more reliable medicine than natural medicine    
Wednesday!                                  
You're fooling me, don't even think about it    
Mogi!                                   
It's better to connect all your stuff to work     
tighten up!                                
                                        
YAGA:Conjure, woman, conjure grandfather, three on the side -  
yours are not there                              
Ace of diamonds, pine coffin, pro        
Sagittarius give me the answer!                 
Let Fedot show agility,              
May he be able to get you the To-FAQ-On White
light - Actually, it can’t be!           
Well, Fedot, now hold on! The point is true 
seem!                                 
You won't be able to complete this task
to life!..                              
                                        
FUN:                               
The king is calling the archer, a daring young man.   
Again a government order        
meanings.                               
When will this torment end!     
Meanwhile, the fairy tale is far from ending!..
                                        
KING:                                   
Find a way for me to get That-FAQ-Can't
be!                                   
Write down your name so you don't rush 
forget!                                 
If you don’t do it by morning, you’ll be crushed  
I'll erase                                  
Because your carachter has not suited me for a long time
gut!                                  
So there’s no point in pouting your lips, but let’s hurry up
way!                                   
A matter of state - you grasp it    
the point?FUN:                               
Fedot came home - worse than death itself!
white as chalk, his face was numb. He sat down by the window -
there is a veil in the eyes.                        
Manya rushed, but he paid zero attention!..  
you will be sad if death is for         
shoulders!..                              
                                        
MARUSYA:                                 
Well, pour out your soul to me, you desperate devil   
angrier?                                   
There is not enough al in the Milanese salad     
truffles?                               
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
I am yours, Marus, menu exclusively     
I appreciate it                                   
Only my life, Marusya, was wasted on   
root!                                  
What should I do? What should I do?.. What a disaster
get rid of mine?                             
The king ordered me to deliver To-Chavo-Ne  
Maybe!..                           
                                        
MARUSYA:                                 
Don't be sad and don't whine! It's only worth it    
shout out!                            
Come on, stand in front of me, Tit Kuzmich 
and Frol Fomich!                           
(Marusya claps her hands - they appear   
two stalwarts)                      
If you understand the order, follow it  
hour! (pause)Well done:                               
We apologize, mistress, this is not about   
us!                                    
If only it were a diagram or a drawing, we would have started   
spin.                                 
Well, then - search as much as you want. Trait    
you will find a bald one!                         
Where to look and how to get That FAQ Can't
be?                                   
After all, he is not in the world, as long as the earth 
no digging!..                            
                                        
MARUSYA:                                 
Don’t blame me, dear friend Fedot, he’s small    
me income!                             
You know, it’s your destiny, my love, to go on your own 
let's go on a hike!                                
Do not fornicate abroad, keep yourself pure    
dishes.                                  
Don't interfere in conversations and don't make acquaintances   
start!                                 
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
You, Marus, don’t be afraid!             
It will form, Marus!                      
I will complete the royal task and remain intact.    
I'll be back!                                
Well, someone will come along who will violate your    
peace, -                                
I don’t need to teach you: the frying pan is under  
hand!..FUN:                               
Fedot left for an overseas campaign.           
The general found out about it - the last mind     
lost.                                
our cunning man runs to the king's palace       
report that the archer is finished.           
I already drilled a hole for the medal.        
thick-faced!..                        
                                        
KING:                                   
Whether the news is good or bad, report it   
I like everything as it is!                       
Better bitter, but true, than           
nice, but flattery!                      
Only if the Ent news comes again - no 
god knows                              
For this kind of truth you can get ten years
sit down!..                                
                                        
GENERAL:                               
I report: just before dawn Fedka raised the anchors!
Thank God we got rid of him, from      
ghoul!                                  
                                        
KING:                                   
Come on, nanny, come here and get to work. 
works -                                 
Tear out the gray hairs from the crown of your head.
And those who are not gray, comb them into rows.
Yes, someone is combing it easier, I don’t have it there 
gardens!..                                 
                                        
Nanny:Well, scratch it, old devil,      
bakes a bald spot?!                          
You should put every hair here  
registered!..                              
And why do you need it at this age?    
wife?                                   
After all, I apologize to you, as a man,   
worthless price!..                            
                                        
KING:                                   
Even though I have no hair, I still want to marry     
I must!                                 
The Shah of Persia is also bald, but has forty
wives!                                    
I just want to get myself one wife!  
Somehow I am in an intimate sense and not alone     
can I pull it?..                               
                                        
Nanny:                                 
You, my friend, are one of those husbands who are more harmless
grass snake -                                  
They scratch, but don't bite. Don't say isho     
worst!                                  
To steal someone else's woman, you have to have the ardor 
and passion!                              
And your task now is not to go to the cemetery   
get there!..                              
                                        
TSAR: (to the general)                         
Well, you are silent and medals     
are you strumming?                               
Al, don’t you see how dirty they are?              
state prestige?The nanny bends me into an arc, but the minister does not 
goo-goo!                                  
You are on our defense, so fight back    
to the enemy!..                                
                                        
GENERAL:                                
But women's courts are always about men 
thin!                                   
Don't doubt yourself, you're a lover    
anywhere!                              
Proud profile, firm step, from the back - 
it's a clean check!                         
Just move the crown to one side so as not to     
hanging on my ears!..                        
                                        
KING: (to the nanny)                           
The minister is not my enemy, everything is as it is   
said without a lie,                        
But he’s not a stupid guy, don’t look at him
he's a fool.                               
You are nothing but bedlam, shame on the king,     
embarrassment to the ambassadors!                          
I have been anti-resisting for a long time, you are not sent to  
us?..                                  
Don't spy and don't harm, but dare -    
look:                                  
You and I will have a big conversation    
ahead!..                              
                                        
FUN:                               
The king goes to Mana to pay attention.  
He sits in the carriage himself, stinking of decalon,  
there is a retinue behind the king -                        
Powdered,curled, behind the twisted chest -   
kozinaki and hazelnuts.                      
Everything is honorable - the king is going to        
to the bride!..                              
                                        
KING:                                   
On the instructions of the Tsar, Fedka left for the seas!   
In general, I melted it from there, it’s easier    
speaking!                                 
So as not to be in poverty alone, become   
my wife!                             
What about the FAQ? I'm a distinguished man and an affectionate one       
groovy!..                             
                                        
MARUSYA:                                 
Isho Fedot did not have time to take a step away from      
gate,                                  
And the crows flocked to Fedotov        
vegetable garden!..                               
                                        
KING:                                   
Don't be a fool to me, girl! They offer - yes
take it!                                   
Tea, widows don’t come to you every evening
kings!..                                 
This very hour, I say, get ready for       
to the altar!                                 
I went crazy with delight, just smell the ammonia!
                                        
MARUSYA:                                 
At least whip me, at least chop me    
sword, -                                
All the same, I will not become your wifenever mind!                                
                                        
KING:                                   
You, Marus, don’t make me angry and conflict with   
don't bother me!                            
I'm going to the guillotine from Paris the other day         
they brought it!                               
In light of what I said - it's better to be    
my wife!                             
I also have nerves, I don’t either  
steel!                               
                                        
MARUSYA:                                 
Go away, hateful one, and marry yourself  
don't mind!                               
If you don't leave, I can do it with a frying pan    
help!                                 
                                        
KING:                                   
Well, those at the door - put her in shackles  
hurry up!                                 
What kind of fashion is this - frying pans in   
kings!                                  
You'll hurt yourself in prison and you'll get better in
mind!                                    
No matter how you are, girl, let’s get married
to winter!..                               
                                        
MARUSYA:                                 
To catch me, you idiot, it takes a lot     
labor!                                  
Goodbye, my sieve friend, maybe    
See you when!..                       
(Marusya turnsinto the blueberry and       
flies away)                                
                                        
FUN:                               
Fedot swam for almost a year.         
I ate halva, ate persimmons, but kept my own   
mind!                                    
Miracles in the world are like flies in the toilet, and     
the desired miracle has not yet been seen.          
Fedot is worried - time is ticking!       
I decided without hysteria: I’ll go to America! 
Fedot floats among the endless waters,      
ahead is sunset, behind is sunrise.       
Suddenly, in the middle of the hike, the weather turned bad.  
There was no misfortune - and on you, hello,  
the ship is a bastard! -                      
And fell into pieces!..The storm subsided -    
Fedot opened his eyes:                     
Lying on the wave, completely unharmed.      
He sees the island sticking out like a float.   
I got to the shore, I thought - America.    
I took out the card, verified - but no, no      
America!                                
The island is a brawler, damn it, - maybe in  
What's the flaw in the map?                      
Fedot sits, hiccups in the surroundings         
gets into it...                              
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
No matter how much at the whim of the king I swam for    
sea, -                                 
I haven't seen a lousier place, frankly.     
speaking!                                 
Well, the island -really sad! - Entirely from   
stone and sand,                          
And as long as the eye can see - neither a river nor 
fishing line!..                                
Yes, it wouldn’t be a problem if there was food here, 
-                                       
If there were quinoa here, it would come down and    
quinoa!..                               
                                        
VOICE:                                  
Anyone who is hungry for food should come here:
I have plenty of food, I have pounds of it!     
For example, get it straight from the oven    
rolls,                                 
Here's a turkey roast, here's a kampot    
cherry plums!                                  
Here are the sausages, here are the cheeses, here is half a centner  
caviar,                                   
Here are Caribbean lobsters, here are Don lobsters        
sturgeons!..                               
(Tables with food appear)           
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
What kind of miracles are these? What kind of voices are these? 
There’s nowhere to hide here - okay    
heaven!                                 
Do me the honor, master, show me what you are like
yes!                                   
It is indecent for a guest to drink alone 
yes there is!                                
Tea, it’s more fun to be bored on your island   
together -                                
Where we’ll scatter the cards, where we’ll have a glass  
Let's pour it!..VOICE:                                  
I would be glad, but my portrait is for me and that’s it
secret!                                 
Sometimes I wonder if it’s me, then  
or not!..                               
I have countless worries: there is food, yes    
nothing to eat,                             
There is tobacco, but there is nothing to sniff, there is       
a bench, but nothing to sit on!                 
So tired after a thousand years that it’s no joy 
white light!                             
I thought I would hang myself, but again, neck 
no!                                    
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
Oh yes meeting!..So, I managed to get you
get, -                               
That-FAQ-in this world Generally-Cannot  
be!                                   
How to spend your life, sad and moping,
in vain,                                  
Maybe you'll swim with me to the race  
king?..                                 
Take a walk, freshen up, with white light    
make friends!                              
What is life without adventure, just    
horror, not life!..                   
                                        
VOICE:                                  
I've never had any useful prospects        
opposite!                               
I'm ready for the bees to enter the hive,if only   
only in colftiv!                      
Give the order - and even where, even for prey
ore!                                   
I will work hard for nothing, without drinking and without 
food!                                    
I am good for any business, I am ready for any door    
admitted,                                   
I'll get you whatever you want, at least           
savvy louse!..                     
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
Louse, of course it is, so? Louse, it    
not bad either!                            
But this insect is far from         
you'll float away!                               
Better get me a fleet or a boat,   
or a raft,                               
Since you are so skilled in this matter   
polyglot!                               
We have to be there by morning, around five o'clock. 
on the way,                                 
Because people in Russia are already waiting for us,   
go!..                                 
                                        
FUN:                               
A year has passed, another is coming - he has returned     
home Fedot.                            
But at home, no, only a skeleton sticks out,     
beams and rafters, and nettles all around.   
And under the eaves she curled up into a gray lump
bird, wood pigeon...               
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
Come on,wifey, give me a table for my husband     
cover it!                               
Take it out of the oven for me when it's browned      
loaf!                                
Pour the vigorous cabbage soup fatter and thicker,
I have become skinny from overseas vegetables! 
There's no one in the whole house except the wind      
one,                                 
Suspicious matter, didn't it happen?    
FAQ?..                                 
(Blueberry turns into Marusya)        
                                        
MARUSYA:                                 
Welcome back, Fedot! It lasted a long time   
your trip!                             
Al forgot his Marusya, that he didn’t go      
a whole year?                            
There's a lot of entertainment abroad, I guess
a dime a dozen!                                  
I probably looked at my girlfriend and warmed up
on the chest!..                             
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
I've seen the world, Josephine and         
Gunriett,                               
But there are beauties like you among       
There are none, Marusya!                        
And I went overseas, although for a long time, but not   
in vain -                                   
I still completed the task of the cunning  
king!..                                 
                                        
MARUSYA:If only you knew, Fedot, who you are spending on
sweat,                                    
I wouldn't even take a step away from my relatives   
gate!                                  
You left - he, shamefully, began to court 
follow me                                
Persuaded, okhalnik, to become a warrior     
wife!                                  
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
Really?..Oh, villain!.. So believe it    
now into people                         
So stand for the honor of your uniform, for     
service and joy!..                       
Well, okay, I'll explain to him what to     
what!                                   
I'll paint it down to the very heels        
Khokhloma!..                              
Stop making fools of race      
men!                                
I have nothing to lose now except           
own shackles!                       
                                        
FUN:                               
Fedot got angry and called an honest people.    
The neighbors decided to help Feda.            
Frol took the stake, Ustin took the drin Ignat    
took the grip.                             
And everyone behind Fedot - to the Tsar's Gate.   
The general will meet them, damn him       
got it!                                 
He jumped up sideways, his pupils sparkled,    
He took a closer look and went to the Tsar for a report!GENERAL:                                
There this guy...what's his name...gathered at the gate...
people!                                  
In general, it’s up to the social     
turnover!                                 
And it’s all Fedot’s fault, he’s causing trouble      
people,                                  
Inciting the population to stage a coup!..
                                        
KING:                                   
Well, why do we have you with a sharp saber? 
like this?                                  
That's why we're holding you, to protect you    
Tsar's peace!                            
After the rain on Thursday I'll give you a medal 
over,                                  
Just try so that people
not overthrown!..                             
                                        
GENERAL:                                
Look, a medal!..a great honor!.. I have   
awards are countless:                       
All hung like a Christmas tree on his back - and 
then there are six of them!..                          
Now I have a reason to protect you from harm  
no!                                    
You owe it to yourself for your own meanness   
keep the answer!..                        
                                        
FUN:                               
He was such a fool, but how he spoke!       
Even though the king is angry, try to hit him!  
It's not the timeto hit the crown.      
The king went out onto the porch and made a strict   
face,                                   
And in the square there are people - the whole of Russia is there! 
                                        
KING:                                   
I'm so sorry to your mother,        
understand?                               
We're not some kind of France to create turmoil      
lift!                               
Who wants to go to Kolyma - go out one at a time! 
There you will have a moment of enlightenment
in my mind!                                  
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
As for the mind, he is very bright:
Thank God, we distinguish forget-me-not from       
crap!                                 
Why did you quickly send me away for a hundred     
seas?                                  
Isn't it so that he can marry his wife?
mine?..                                 
                                        
KING:                                   
Ento where are you, villain, you got such  
ideas,                                   
To rivet the FAQ on decent people  
people!                                  
Is it befitting to pester yours?  
wife?..                                 
So they sent you, idiots, to foreign countries 
tour!..                                
                                        
FEDOT:If it doesn't hurt, then be angry, we're here for you,  
tea, not for tea!                         
Well, if you start running around, I’ll hit you in the face
by chance!                              
About you, about the scoundrel, fame is all the way in Cherepovets!
You don't give a damn to all the people in my  
face!..                                 
                                        
KING:                                   
You shouldn’t, Fedya!..For me, my people are mine 
relatives                                  
I can’t live without thinking about the people and
day!..                                  
In the morning I spread the sandwich and immediately thought: oh  
how are the people?                              
And caviar doesn’t go down your throat, and kampot doesn’t    
pours into your mouth!                           
And the culprit is a general, an intriguer and an immoral man!
This is him, the cow's face, honor to the Tsarev    
dirty!                                
Let him come out!..Where is he?..I’m here now
I'll ask him!..                            
I'll rip off his medal, and with the medal
muzzles!..                               
                                        
GENERAL:                                
What are you, brothers... I lost for you    
eye attack!..                           
When I dare to go against the people  
masses!..                                 
I'll justify it. I'll serve. I'll suffer. I'll do my time.   
No more to the oppressive elite         
I belong!..And the culprit is Yaga! There is no more dangerous enemy!   
In front of her is Gorynych himself - so, not a snake, 
and small fry!                              
Well, where are you, fidget? Look at people in   
eyes!                                  
Personally, I can’t resist - I’ll hit two with a saber  
times!..                                 
                                        
YAGA:                                    
I am a folk element, I have    
document.                               
In fact, I can fly from here to any     
moment!                                 
Whether it's hot or snowstorm, everyone scolds         
me, the hag,                             
And there is no more harm in me than in a chamomile  
in the meadow!                                
Well, by chance, well, jokingly, I got lost       
the right way!                           
After all, I am a child of nature, albeit bad,
but - child!                              
If we judge - just those two,            
my accomplices.                      
I look like evil spirits, but in essence I am cleaner  
them!..                                   
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
What a cunning people you are, it really takes you by surprise!
Everyone thinks everyone else is a freak, despite the fact that 
I'm a freak myself.                               
At least the racial people are ready for reprisals and  
don't be cruel                                 
But I'll have to teach you guys
courtWe'll put you in a tub, throw you into the sea and -
hello!                                   
You'll get by with a tub, but we can't give you   
rook!                                  
And the ocean will take you straight to the island to fight!
Well, so as not to go wild, here’s your personal   
my button accordion.                               
True, he - my fault! - does not play    
why the hell                                  
But no matter what, you need culture! 
And now, honest people, take your faces out of
beard!                                  
Tea, we’re not having a funeral service, but a completely        
on the contrary!                               
Now we can’t shed tears, we can sing songs
drink honey!..                            
Come on, stand in front of me, To-FAQ-Not   
Maybe!..                           
                                        
VOICE:                                  
I’ve been standing here for a long time, at the edge of the porch,
I'm waiting for you to finish the meeting   
yours!..                                 
                                        
FEDOT:                                  
Treat honest people from overseas ones    
generosity!                                 
Tea, they were not born like this food     
put it in your mouth!                            
Offer them Samarkand halva in reality,  
And Turkish festashka and Persian quince! 
Place all the chocolate on the tablecloth andmarmalade,                               
And Dutch brisket and Chukhonsky     
Servilad!                               
Don't forget the Swiss cheese! The one who 
all of holes!                            
Throw us a feast for glory, which is not     
saw the world!                              
Well, what if someone asks for grams of mash?  
like a hundred.                               
So be it!.. Today is possible!.. Glory    
God, there's a reason!                      
                                        
FUN:                               
I was also at that feast, eating grainy caviar. 
Prov ate pilaf. Philad was eating salad. Ustin ate  
Galantine                               
And Fedot the Sagittarius ate a pickled cucumber.    
And how he ate the cucumber and the end of the fairy tale! 
And that the fairy tale is bad - then the storyteller     
wine.                                   
I wish I could catch the fool and give him a blow,  
But there’s no way - after all, the narrator is    
fool!                                  
And from time immemorial we have not had a trial       
fools!..                              
                                        
K O N E C!!!                           

Share your thoughts about the article