ZX Power #04 09 января 2000

Юмор

Room with laughter - WHITE PENGUIN. Antinovella on a well-known game.

WHITE PENGUIN

 Journal article "Young Archaeologist"

(C) 1998, E. Nesterenko (Jam)
__________________________________________


    Fyodor our childhood was connected with the earth

    I was searching for something rubble, the granite,

    And once again brought home such

    With mum and dad were crying bitterly ...


                                   Epigraph


   Here we are again with you, dear readers JUNIOR Archaeology 
", and today I I would like to offer you a unique

Chronicle, found our inquisitive
reader Ivan Knigoedovichem Zaupe. But
First a few questions for our guest.

CORR.: Hello, Ivan Knigoedovich!

IK: Good days are with you, I'm sorry that

      I do not know your name and patronymic.

CORR.: Tell readers how everything would
       Lo ...

IK: Well, sho there to tell? It was

      so. I live in the countryside, have a house and

      five hectare garden. So I decided

      somehow privy to put yourself, and then

      you know, the wife is tortured: winter

      it's cold outside, autumn is dirty, le
      that mosquitoes bite ... No, says

      without the outhouse is no life! And we

      because in the village, all in a simple -

      went there on the garden, under a burdock
      rubbing and business for you! But once a woman that

      itch - not otvyazheshsya, so that

      I agreed and went to dig a pit. Well,

      itself, one-it long

      called his sidekick, Theodore ugly
      On da Styopka fume. We took,

      hence, the bottle and began to dig ...

      Digging, digging, bottle is gone
      Lo, took one more ...

CORR.: Excuse me, Ivan Knigoedovich can not be

       Whether more specific: How do you chronicle

       found?

IK: Oh, well, as it were? The pit was already

      decent, I think: a couple of meters

      - And that's enough. I dug, so good

      so suddenly smell - rang chevoy something

      a shovel. Well, I think mine is! Lo
      zhis, shouting, robyaty, right now, because Grogh
      no. We do that year in the neighbor

      village such case was: man slashed

      wood and shell ripped - from the war

      isho stayed. Yeah. Yes. Well, got

      we waited Troshkov. See all BPO
      de quietly. Tada, I took a shovel,

      quietly undermining the place and pulled

      Chest a dirty, fly irzha
      vy. Thought the treasure there, and it is - the pattern 
pieces       ki old, full of bark. I suffered


      them, then to the village council, and there

      Chairman Ilya Stepanovich said

      me: you are enti bumazki take me to the cities
      do not there with them quickly sorted out.

      So I took ...

CORR.: Thank you very much for the fascinating
       very sensitive story, and most valuable archaeological
       logical find, we hope

       that you will continue to delight us

       their works.

IK: Yes, no, I Nashawena ischo a latrine? Well

      them into the swamp those excavations are still

      back hurts, I'm so fat her Krotov

      waxed, and formic alcohol Probo
      Val ...

CORR.: So we say goodbye to our guest

       and now want to propose that the

       readers of the very record. Briefly,

       What is this chronicle? Archaeologists yes
       commute of 12-14 century AD,

       most likely it was written by our

       ancestors inhabited the area

       Modern CIS. Unfortunately,

       part of the record was tainted, not
       that phrase could not be accurately ne
       Revest, but we have prepared the text,

       which will be understood by modern

       man, and at the same time, the lens
       but reflects the events of those ancient

       times ...



               Part One


        Word of the squad Vasilyeva


                   # 01


   On the other ... Oh, you art Thou, red sun, oh
thou hast the other blue nebushko, oh thou hast the other
green grass, oh you're the other didst Braga fixing ... 
Rosskaya great land, great field her great, great rivers and 
lakes, velichenki mountains and hills, Rotate clockwise and a 
hefty city and Sela rosskie. People here kind, they have a lot 
of good and his, and others', work solidly, much like edyat and 
Piute! Governs all lyudom wise Prince Vasili

wise his wisdom and wonder, not her wise and wiser ...

   But here came a cloud of black, black cloud,
trouble is terrible, terrible trouble, a cloud of black
land rosskuyu - hordes of nasty reptiles. AND
there is no light of their filthy. Started creeping
nasty gadyuchnye their nasty shit ... AND
name them - Hung filthy, ugly, unintelligent.

   And then they decided Prince Vassily, light
fellow, they decided Hung vile. And the slaves began to forest 
felling so hollow mountains, carpenters began to chip, but 
forged - forged. And they found grooms mares nimble and began 
their ride to teach. And they came to earth rosskuyu Overseas 
priests and sorcerers cunning Then they began to pray so my 
forehead into the ground beat. But the enemies of the vile, 
despicable, vile, nasty, too, lost no time: have guided

they are black magicians, began those scum
to do so multiplied, napuschali pavukov healthy Kashcheev 
different, the huts on chicken legs ponastavili. And the great 
war began ... 


                   # 02


   Bored the other day, the heat dyuzhe sultry, already
flies sleep. Kvass already uves drank vigilantes Prince, 
adversary, and Braga isho other day. Slaves in the yard 
climbing, log tyagayut - Prince decided to put a bathhouse, 
people on twenty, and then igde are we ambassadors

hungskih shoot something, if Stahr's bathhouse
burned already? Oh, and fun it was! Profits up
us the other day, ambassadors hungskie, the gifts they brought,
want peace with us, I mean. Prince Vasili
met them personally, gifts received and Gutara, they say, 
should not you, dear guests, with road bathhouse to take, but 
then you already blackened everything. Hung, without thinking 
twice and climbed into that bathhouse ... Oh and also black 
smoke poured from them! Koster was a nice, round of campfire 
girls dance was taken, and fellows-Merrie Men navprisyadochku, 
but the songs fun, oh! Five buckets of mead blew yes three 
barrels of brine cucumber ... Today fighters arrived, Merrie 
Men of susedskogo Villages in fists to beat. Evening will be 
fun great, from Hung threatened himself Mozgolom

come ...


                   # 03


   ... Come. Throw spirited cry: who is it
On the fist beat, that nothing will happen, but
someone who will not beat ... Came here from Emelya
Villages in the neighborhood, the real heart of oak - oblique 
seven feet at the shoulders, the curve fathoms in the legs, a 
shirt on it red boots Hung skins. Vdaril Emelya time vdaril

two, and three vdaril ... Who else wants to Mozgoloma fists to 
beat? Then goes Ivan the Fool, a soldier from the brigade 
princesses. Steep seven feet at the shoulders, limped seven 
feet in the legs, velveteen shirt on it, dotted boots

hryunverovoy skin. Well, Ivan vdaril times
vdaril two ... Who wants to isho Mozgolomom
On the fist fight? Passed through the crowd excitement, but no 
one volunteered. Then threw Prince Vasili cry: hto beat the 
adversary on the cams, get the daughter of the princesses in 
Avdotya Yes polknyazhestva wife into the bargain, but a barrel

wash drunk. Then came the merchant Kalashnikov ... Do not have 
to eat no yards, his shirt tattered, bast begun to leak, the 
hands of repolarization tremble. Vdaril Mozgolom time ... Bent

the merchant cross flowed krovushka. Vdaril
Mozgolom two ... Completely bent cross
cracked bone. Vdaril then Mozgolom
for the third time - broken cross, just not
sank a merchant ... But this contrived Kalashnikov, but not 
to-a-ak vdarit Mozgoloma butt, yeah in the left temple ...



                   # 04


   ... Threw a great feast of the prince, called
visitors from other Villages, came noble boyars so important 
merchants. Mead flowed like a river yes countless dishes on the 
table appeared. AND began a feast ... For free all eaten by 
something ... A sho us the Hung, here chichas dopem ... Drank 
... Well, we have a lot of dishes, all not to eat ... However! 
Ate ... Well, Tsyganov here! No? Tada Hoch blind Bandurist. No 
blind? Let's Hoch any ... I take out my harp here ...



   - That's not a black cloud frowned

   - That was not a flock of crows flew.

   - Where are you going, the dog hungsky Khan? ..


   - DOG ???!!!


                   # 05


   ... Beat with a whip mercilessly for disrespect to the
princely title. Send to Krivoy bridge
with warriors to protect him from the enemy. Thus,
two for ten from the skin of two money
total - five to ten money. Come in, yes
energetic. And no, equestrian, three money!
Well, and that, if you're not riding? Shaw STE under
you for zveryuka? Hryunver? Three money! INTO
in a cart? Kata sho ...? For such ... for such
Let's five money, no less! And you gallop
ischo be? .. Well, OK, hoch money tapericha will - buy his wife 
bast ... Boyars came ... Not, and bast have left. Was taken to 
court, for good service delivered butler. ... Tom Pour, pour 
it, but all to the brim. Shame on you, Boyar, I you and all the 
more so filled ... Wonderful thing I've found: If we add some 
water, it not visible at all ...



                   # 06


   ... Beat with a whip for stealing and sent to the mines. 
Work mulberries heavier orders stricter grub frugal. Head clerk 
is the foreigner harsh - Hans Lanholerovich Dober Man, guard 
brutal and besserdeshny, like a vicious dog ... You Gutara all 
Tuta "rusish Schwein" and "Filth pigz" I tell you, you 
scoundrel, I will build 'hitler kaput' "Zihhayl" and "mazday. 
And if someone thinks of "a lot of talk," to be "Butt flog, 
"or" nemnoshko shot. "Works here dyuzhe inordinately - and four 
cubits the depth and five on five wide on the day must dig.

I say somehow, ethno INTO Well done, I
the grave and then less should ... I thought not
proznaet words about my boss, so light
not without good people ...


                   # 07


   ... They called me, then to the Dober-Manu
in the mansion. Getting used it, I think. Bad
I was, but he came, I saw - the white mansion of great beauty 
on the roof of gold, so silver crosses on fire, burning sun, 
Guardian round dressed up, but all of Hung Black. I go I 
Seredka to the choir, and there and the beautiful: the sky 
ceilings abut, through the glass okny white light flowing, 
round tables are great, from the dishes already are groaning. 
Midst of a chorus gilded throne, sits on it himself, Hans 
Lanholerovich and feasting with guests. He beckons to me and 
said: 

   - Well, Cho, Ivan rusish Schwein, I heard,
Cho those five on five cubits many zelo, niht
you me fershteyn?

   - Similarly, Boyar, a lot!

   - Tambov crows you Boyar! - Yelled the guard, to make my 
neck. - Says: Mein Fuehrer!


   Strangely, I think, for sho UTB Furer such
and Hans continues to hour.

   - So you say a lot? Well, I'll
small decrease. Two on each hole you enough
da box out of four board?

   - Similarly, mein Fuhrer, enough!

   The answer is so boldly, and he ispuzhalsya
whole. That's the end of me, I think it is coming.
Odnache see - quite often lose something in no hurry to Hans
I was put to death, looks like a strange way.

   - A TI, - he says - zelo zoldat brave, though thy speech 
thieves. Want before the death cup to drink?


   - Why not drink? - I answered.

   Hans then pours me a cup of wine overseas.

   - Vipey, zoldat for hungova destruction!
Not-ee, I think, have found a fool! If we
useh Hung iznichtozhit, so from there we chago
Boots will be something to sew?

   - I will not drink so, - I answered.

   - Well, you do not want to drink at hungova destruction, so 
vipey for rusish Kaput 

   - STE another matter!

   I drank a cup, and the wine light, overseas,
there they can not eat or drink, not wine to make.
That's really the tribe accursed, thu! And Hans isho
spider on my fat loaf yields - to eat,
Mol. That shob me, and this merzotu?

   - We - I say - Russia, the first oposlya
cups of any zhist not zakusyuem!

   He pours me then Hans isho one ...


                   # 08


   ... I stand already, swing. But the spirit is strong.

   - M-mmy, p-pp-wasps, and oposlya fifth bottle is not 
zakkuss-yu ... 

   - Tee bravely zoldat, Ivan - tells me
Hans - ing you will not shoot (yet), and release in the 
barracks. Seen him a loaf of bread and a bank sprat! 

   I took one grub, rolled heathen STEM absolute value in the 
pocket and let's ticking! And then isho peredumayut ... Came 
Khoi-like barracks, and there too my own wait - took robyaty 
barrel wash and eat, and that there is nothing. Overwhelm us 
tady loaf bread and smeared pilchards - came on white bread 
crumbs on the snout yes dropwise sprat. And he went there, we 
feast! True, the mash was not enough, we had to sail across the 
river to run, to Hung a kiosk.



                   # 09


   ... It a great misfortune unexpectedly at our mines - it is 
the army hungovoe great, the beginning of all tyrants yes

a complete steal. I thought spervonachalu
escape, but suddenly from not undertake, as
jump out at me with a hefty Hung, and how
collar-ta! Ah, the screams, so-and-so, rusish Schwein where 
soaped? A I Th, I did it-ta! Tokmo like to help you - why are 
you dragging me-the one to worry about? And he answers: Look at 
what udumal, scoundrel, we will be tyabya haul, you have schazzz

mine so poskachesh, isho and cargo to the themselves potyanesh! 
I had to Tut's hard - hoisted and indeed my hump hefty sack

that Hung and even made a run to jump right up to
theirs camp pagan ...


                   # 0A


   ... Camp Hung-ta have a rich, good
a lot of bellies and lactating ... At first I could not
until they get used kharcho and gates -
caviar there zhabyacha, hemp bread, mushrooms
kakieto nasty and other victuals for human rosskogo unusual. 
But then poprivyk, zhirnet already started. We, the captives 
appointed wrong "shpienami" wrong "Peonies" and forced to work. 
The work, however, light - that of water applied, then mow the 
grass, the woods in bulk. But all are conceived I run. Chose a 
dark night, and pulled claws of the Hung-ta. Through forests, 
through swamps, without kharcho da rest. Zablukal at all, but 
here isho wolves in the forests of the fierce and strive 
sozhrati ... Well, Coy as their way. Go wrong, and suddenly I 
heard some hissing, nasty, nasty. Looking - and then chase 
hungova, but not simple, but with pavukami black ... I fell, 
covered head in his hands, right now, I think me and the end 
will come. Started here pavuki me to pinch da bite, already 
tickled. Absolutely zakusayut thought, but ran

Hung, withdrew them. Scolded me, then obscenely, and drove back 
to camp. 


                   # 0B


   ... Prescribed me here as follows, and
to work right again. I began to fell the forest so Hung mother. 
Spotted me Then the old man alone, too, from our own, it's there

served in the guard. All of this gray-haired, hunched over. 
Suitable he mean to me so reproachfully at me. Well,

think again lashes can not escape ... And he
suddenly so kindly and calmly said:

   - What are you, million people, against the powers-that 
buntuesh? This is not good, Necho-ro-sho ... 

   - What is my power? - I answered angrily. - My, it means 
that power, they have a different side - the bright Prince 
Vasili, and not enti heathens!


   The old man shook his head and says:

   - Any power it from the god-ta. Our
deal slaves - Know-play so no clever,
look, and favors dozhdeshsya.

   - I do not need any favors them.

   - And what do you hungovy worse from grace
a human will? Here you tell me ashamed: bad here grub?

   - Well, - I say - grub, of course, at first a strange, but 
good. 

   - And they beat you here for nothing?

   I thought, I thought ...

   - No, - I answered - not beaten yet
running away.

   - So there chago tabe tady not hvataet?

   I was embarrassed, but reluctant to retreat. Thought, 
thought, and blurted out: 

   - And all the same Hung is not like india -
where they were so thirsty, as we do! They even wine
worthless, not that shta with us ...

   The old man grinned slyly, beard
gray poterebil.

   - And you, my dear, the local chafir tried it?

   - And quite often lose something it is?

   - Tincture muhomornaya on here, hlyabni-ko! - And gave me a 
cup of clay. 

   Well, I took that cup, so as hlyabnul-ta, but for hungry 
bellies, so much as circles red before his eyes circled ...



                   # 0C


   ... Ochuhalsya I see - already robyaty forest
cut finished, sitting by the fire, then mess of grits cooking 
overseas, yes spider fat zapravlyayut. And the old man here

just sits in the middle, smokes a cigarette Yes
all sorts of wonderful stories of grass. Come, says the kingdom 
of God will tell peasants tady usem schaste great. 

   - And for schaste cho-ta? - Try it.

   - And and and, my dear, will flow rivers of Braze yes
sebaceous coast, the boyars would not, and will
all the freestyle, we shall live in the good da world
hangover will not ...

   - A job?

   - Work really do not need to be, all by itself
will be done, and we will walk tokmo
so have fun.

   - Yes-ah, here it is, life-ta! When there
will be a miracle?

   The old man shook his head, threw his cigarette, stamped his 
foot, he spat bitterly. 

   - And never, my dear, and will not be! Where x
STE ever heard of such nonsense Schaub, but became a true 
story? All and mouths porazinuli. 

   - So what are you tada're lying?

   Sighed the old man here, scooped out
Boiler porridge, blowing on a spoon, tasted it, grimaced.

   - So it is in fact like, dear? Life at all
bad, but now here is to devise a bike,
dream, lips poraskataesh-ta, you see,
it has become easier and ...

   - The truth is yours, - nodded all - wise
you have an old man, a great mind!

   I wondered rather, a neighbor of his tried:

   - What STE for a quirky old man?

   - Yes STE - he says - a well-known personality, and Judah, 
son of PL. He is from Russia will be, the prince once served, 
but later moved to Hung, willfully-hero a prisoner handed over 
to prisoners our help, the one that's so, then ...


   - Well - I say he doing here?

   - Yes, that's telling stories, light
Life promises to people and Legshei ceases. And if you and the 
STE does not help very much if someone ceases to unbearable, so 
he then goes to hungovyh chiefs chegoy something he whispers 
come on entogo who unbearable-ta, take a white ruchenki, and 
led away. Oposlya -so no one sees ...


   Well, I think, and padlyuka entot old man! Yes
Surely I can not, that ...?



               Part Two


         Word of the squad hungovoy


                   # 01


   ... Weather in the yard are hot dyuzhe and
juice Buzinov all hryunvery drank. Go
at least some water to drink? No, once again.
Khan's squad galloped from the battle - write
pianist report about the spent arrow, about
broken swords, shields about chopped down. A
worst of all enti fucking necrophilia - count all write it down 
so much they're dead tortured. Utter boredom. The other day khan

promised to arrange a feast for the arrival of some
Gryunvihi, but quite often lose something coefficient Gryunviha 
not all Let not going to come along. Well, okay, that's slaves

with the work goes, I must make allowance.

   - So, John Doe, but for now
wood in bulk?

   - Three pine, father, three pine ...

   - Bodø lie-ta, is there igde three pine? There would be at 
least two were! 

   - Here are the cross, true three!

   - Cross, you say? Silver? Okay, so let's let it be three - 
know my goodness!


   - That's really spasibochki!

   - So, moving on. Next! Penkov Fedor, how much you today gold 
mined? 

   - Five pounds, sir.

   - Here mulberries five pounds? Fear God!
Three and a half, no more. Tell me, where
else?

   - Veda do not know, know I do not know!

   - Ay-yay-yay, and in the bosom of your FAQ? A
FAQ on the neck? And trousers FAQ? Get,
took out ... That is now true five Funtikov-ta! Next! Thus, 
Petro-bottle drank away, tell the truth, how many of you day 
grass hemp stacked? 

   - Six ohapok already!

   - How much, how much?

   - Sh-sh-six ...

   - Yes, you see, not six ohapok and
hapok six stacked, and now zakosil!

   - Do not ruin my benefactor! I've Institute and
You smallness in store ...

   - Are you there UTB, I want to give a bribe?
Why are you silent before? Come syudy! .. Next! So, Pupkin 
Stepan you how many fly agaric nasbiral?


   - Five baskets.

   - Why not filled to the brim? In
burg want to go? Tell me, where are the rest put mushrooms?

   - That I'm not hiding anywhere, these are the cross!

   - Yes, from where you cross, if you are his
More next week drunk? Not with you Delov will not, hey, watch, 
take it! 

   - What to do entot Schwein?

   - Hide mammals, yayki ...

   - Eto is niht Karash, let him smack on the goals nemnoshko 
ass ... 


                   # 02


   ... For diligence in service is taken to court
Khan hungskogo the post stukatelya -
Now if someone will do no good FAQ, I
immediately, "tuk-tuk", and voila! Service is my honor - it is 
important to go myself skroz on the sides looked arrogant. A 
little back who does not bend in a bow, I told him and say: 
"I've heard I'm what you speech against the thieves of our khan 
the other day wound up ... We'll have that, then report back 
... "Then he immediately falls at his feet, begging forgiveness 
begins. Dobra I have now is enough, though I Khan

money and not pay enough bribes, and therefore I thought of 
family life to establish. Eye on, it means that house Mighty, 
with cages so ogorodikom and I go, so in

guests. The owner of the house - Boyar
hungsky nicknamed Gorbgryubnund unkind met me - go on, says at 
first Subscribe to the boyars, svinota uneducated

And then comes. Okay, okay, I think, look, hto of us svinota ...


                   # 03


   ... That's the way it is better. Housing tepericha
there are decent, and the economy can acquire. Ox y Hung mute, 
horses too, and driving them to the frogs some black - 
Hryunvery be nicknamed. Fed up, I imagine such hryunverov, 
hired slaves, they began to I have a back bend, mushrooms hemp 
seed da plow. I've thought of here zhanitsya, was, therefore, 
send the matchmakers to Hung. Betrothed they gave me one ... 
Black, terrible hair curly hair, thick lips, snout like 
oblizyany, just the tail no. I refused at first at such a 
miracle-yude zhanitsya-ta, but then navazhilsya, sproboval ... 
Well, since that sho, sho black, terrible? Oblizyana as 
oblizyana ... thu, that is woman like a woman ...



                   # 04


   ... I was the other day at the court, near the Khan. Khan 
feasting with the boyars, and I'm here too verchu - a bottle of 
whom to send, bring a dish, and the Khoi-most of which fall to. 
Looking up - went to the Khan slave salafetku tie. I then went 
to the very Khan and whispered in his ear, then: "Your temnost 
in vain are you vazhnetskoe matter to anybody trust ... "And he 
to me: who are you, they say, so? I say your best stukatel, 
faithfully serve. Khan then that slave stopped and

I tried: "What's there vazhnetskogo?" I f
him - like that? Why salahvetochku something
and can be more tightly tie-ta ... Surprised
Khan, well, you said, and a scoundrel! These me
necessary, appoint-ko I'll shpienom ...


                   # 05


   ... I'm tired to crawl, too, and all were soaked belly, and 
rubbed his pants. Well, okay, now and in the place - you can 
see the fortress rosskuyu. Enti nasty little people and run 
hither and amplitude-syudy. That our troops ispuzhalisya 
hungskih powerful, gut suprotiv us thin? Soon you will not 
drink our water, yes eat our bacon, but our maids poganiti ... 
We sit, then lie in ambush, waiting for some guy glupaga. 
Waited, waited, and waited. Is currently in the forest, 
durachina, simpleton, whistles. Nod I mulberries slaves, they 
pounced on the peasant, tied. We dragged him, then to the 
house, Schaub all plans rosskie insidious him extort. Thrown 
into the basement to the rack potsepili (my invention!) And 
conceived pytatsya ... 

   - Tell me, scoundrel, igde Milafon?

   - Some such milahvon?

   And we heard on the mulberries, like little people
anywhere that its main tower hide, Milafonom surnamed, and if 
if that tower flunk, because here their strength and perish all 
... We, too, that there exists only the White

Penguin be nicknamed. Then I took up the cause.

   - Come on, own up, so-and-so! - I say little man.

   - Oh, I do not know Boyar, what have I done wrong, what are 
you my tyranny? 

   - Aha, so you do not want to admit? Right now
We'll start your soup at the door zascheplyat yes
mites beard comb, if you will not tell!

   - Oh, do not, Boyar, I say!

   - Speak!

   - A FAQ say-ta?

   - How to FAQ? Where Milafon?

   - Honestly, Boyar, one knows that to me!

   - God knows! Mozgolom, pochinay! ..

   I have a good assistant - Mozgolomom
they call. He knows how to chat on the souls ...

..........................................
..........................................


   - Where Milafon ??!!!

   - In the ...!

   - Well, well ...

..........................................
..........................................


   - Will you say ???!!

   - ...

..........................................
..........................................


   Somlel peasant.

   - What are you - say Mozgolomu - overdone-ta?

   - Nichavo shall pass away!

   - It must be his isho good-naturedly try ... I took the 
bucket some water, poured on peasant. He shook his beard, 
blinked, woke up, I mean. I asked him gently:


   - What's your name-that you?

   - Veselchakov Mikolka they call.

   - A godkov a tabe lope?

   - Three of ten will be.

   - Listen, Mikolka, and you want bast new?

   - Well-at ... And I FAQ instead?

   - And in return you'll sell our home, military secrets 
zastuchish. Lada? 

   - No, not much will be!

   - Well, like, yeah velveteen trousers shirt
silk hat Bobrov yes?

   - Not enough to be!

   - What do you difficile ... Do you want
money?

   - Dap?

   - A lot, a lot of money!

   - Well ... Straight and do not know ... Ah, uboltali!
Give me a barrel of Braga da bucket cucumbers
Salt and his hands! ...


                   # 06


   ... Sifted through the evening guards rosskie
Pervatsch strong, and posnuli, left
Milafon without protection. And our hungskaya squad right 
there! Conceived, we fellows gut, so rob all around, but burn, 
yes looting, rape yes, yes ... in

obchem, isho lot of other things to do,
just really do not remember them! And it really was
we took, so we conceived the tower in Milafon entot best to 
break, then suddenly otkel not undertake - like jump out of the

Tower magician harsh, but how we conceive matershinoy to pour, 
but by those of his words like rotten from the ground bubbles 
some climbed ... 


                   # 07


   ... - Oh do not beat me, brothers, your
I rossky!

   - A INTO Why are you sitting on hryunvere tops?

   - Yes I am from STE Polona hungskogo running out
on darling storonushku waded ...

   - And how UTB hungskie heathens our Milafon found?

   - Sam dayus diva! They are ... I ... tortured ... but I ... 
I did not tell them anything! 

   - Tried, you say? In captivity was that? Chtoyto not dyuzhe 
on you can see - his ugly face corroded, that in three days 
obgadish! 

   - Bratushki! You should not both. Why STE y
them, villains, torture is - taverns
torture be nicknamed: forced to eat and drink,
until lopnesh! I've since read it about a month
I am suffering, but has not yielded them nothing
said! So they are from another doznalis - Veselchakov Mikolka 
them for thirty pieces of silver, all of us sold! Oh, I cursed 
him, and urged not to talk, but not posluhal

I, Judas sneaky ... And how he sold us
so I told him personally in his eyes shameless
and spat in his beard, so you cross!

   - Cross, you say? Gold? Come on.
And what are all the same makarom you mulberries found himself?

   - How to find Hung, where Milafon shelter
so they began to jeer at me, you fool
You say nothing was suffering - all the same we have learned 
your secret. And to know you, like us argue with, we'll take 
you with me, so I saw you ruin people rosskogo! And yet

was taken, foes of the soul!

   - Foldable you're lying, like you we
needed - will have svetlago Prince chronicler ...

   - I isho secret place, where the White
Penguin buried, I know, and the balalaika
I can ...



               Part Three


         A word about the squad's Campaign


                   # 01


   ... "And when he was Prince Igor, a bright fellow, with a 
squad of opposite hungovtsev ..." Thu, tire out! And hto STE 
letter up? Here is someone used to crucify, and then six ... 
Quite boyars yes princes at the hands of otbilisya! Know

just let them sing praise to the bikes,
and vorogov brand ... even if only in the mines
sent, and then Legshei.

   - Well, FAQ mulberries are you? Read how
Today nabrehal! ...

   - "... Against hungovtsev ..."

   - What do you mean where is he bitched son, decree, or write 
the chronicle? Where homage to the prince, where praise where 
vorogam curse? At once the same rewrite! ..


   - "And went great and mighty prince,
Igor Batkovich, light so wise little head, our hope and pride 
of the mighty squad so great against Herod damned, heathens 
vile and ugly, hungovtsev nasty ... "


   - Another thing! Only need to edit:
which means "bright so wise? Do not forget
about whom you write - it's about some
governor going to write "light so wise", and
there must be higher to take! ..

   - "And went great and mighty prince,
Igor Batkovich, Serene da wisest fellow, our hope and pride to 
the squad da mighty great against Herod damned,

heathens vile and ugly, hungovtsev
nasty ... "

   - That's what I understand! Just like something was missing 
... Got it! Poetic is not enough will! Come on, census, bark at 
us Enough! ..


   - "As the red sun went down behind the forest
wild, of the oaks so thick over the green grass and damp earth 
mother stirred ... That's not thunder, there is no storm of 
noise, then went to Great and mighty is our Prince,

Igor Batkovich, Serene da wisest fellow, our hope and pride to 
the squad da mighty great against Herod damned,

heathens vile and ugly, hungovtsev
nasty, like a falcon with a clear contradiction kites
black ...

..........................................
..........................................


   ... And the collapsed rock nasty, White
Penguin surnamed, and were beaten vorogi filthy forever and 
ever. Will not now they eat our bacon so piti wash our

Yes poganiti our girls! Amen.

   So there! I went nonche in vogue at court
Prince, a chronicle oposlya entoy and prices to me
will not. I've isho song warehouse ...

   "Timidly hides White Penguin body fat
in the rocks ... "No, not so.

   "Fatty hides White Penguin body shy
in the rocks ... "No, not so.

   "White Penguin shyly hides body fat
in the rocks ... "In! Tapericha isho used to the music
shift ...

..........................................
..........................................



                       chronicle composed

     Monday of the fifth of our EASURES

   chronicler rosskim svetlago Prince Igor

                        Maxim Peshkov
__________________________________________