ZX Power #04 09 января 2000

Юмор

Room with laughter - ABM system administrators. A selection of jokes.

Raccoon Tales

        about sysadmin

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   Once, a system administrator has built himself
house in which there were many doors, but
most of them were boarded up.
When guests ask him why he
did, he cleverly replied: "Duc, firewall!"
and enigmatically winking.


                  *


   One day, he met a young sysadmin
with a charming sisadminshey. When they
making love, sysadmin often asked my girlfriend: "and you're 
excited reading logs Squid? "on his girlfriend

ecstatically replied "cat ... pipe ...
less ... "and languidly rolled her red eyes.


                  *


   One day, the same young sysadmin acquainted with the web 
dizaynershey. By habit, he immediately asked what she had 
ip-address, but heard that the ip-address it is dynamic,

immediately lost all interest in her.
 - "I do not like a girl of easy virtue" - and then he 
explained to his friends. 


                  *


   Once, an old and experienced sysadmin saw a little boy who 
stood in the middle of the street and wept loudly.  - What 
happened, baby? - Asked a sysadmin.  - I've lost-and-alsya - 
said the child and cried even louder. Sysadmin tried

figure of a little boy, where he lives, but the boy called out, 
which sysadmin never heard of.

 - Perhaps there is no such street - suggested
he said. The boy began to cry even louder and administrator, 
deploying it for a hundred and eighty degrees, gave him a 
powerful kick in the ass, muttering:  - No route to host ...



                  *


   One day, the same old sysadmin watching grandchildren 
playing ping-pong. His eyes fixedly watching a ball

time, after which he abruptly jumped to a game table, caught 
the ball and crushed him in a fist with the words: "TTL expired 
..." 


                  *


   Once, a young sysadmin spent the night in silent 
contemplation of contents directory / dev, then in the morning 
has spoken: "Still, I do not understand why I say that I have 
everything running through the / Dev / ass and on top of the 
curve / dev / hands: I any, that you do not see those files! "



                  *


   Once, a young administrator, opening his
mailbox, found a summons to the MERs.
 - Again, the damned spam - "he growled,
nervously tearing her to shreds.


                  *


   Once, in a poorly heated room
sysadmin dropped his boss and, shivering with cold, he asked:
 - You got so cold, but why
do not you turn off the cooler?


                  *


   Once, a young sysadmin dreamed
daemons: they attacked him from all sides,
but he fought them to a stool on which for some reason it was 
written "kill-9". Daemons fell and rose and fell and rose 
again, fell and rose again. When a sysadmin woke up at dawn 
cold sweat, he decided not to appear in That day at work and go 
to church ... he would have done if I had known url.



                  *


   One day, a bearded administrator, sitting
home on sick leave, was engaged in reading a half-meter docks. 
Approached him his son, a first grader, and asked:

 - Dad, how television is constructed?
 - RTFM! - Dismissed the sysadmin.

   Child sighed, and routinely asked:
 - Man what?


                  *


   One day, a sysadmin came from a trip home, he found his wife 
in the not-quite-dressed "form.  - Cat / var / log / secure | 
less - hopefully he said. Wife silently gnawed fingernails, and 
a sysadmin asked sternly:  - W?

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