Toys - short story by playing Robin Of Sherlock.

<b>Toys</b> - short story by playing Robin Of Sherlock.
 Robin Of Sherlock

music by SLASH
(C) 1994, 1996 Alex ASP
________________________________



   So Robin stood in the meadow
somewhere in the depths of Sherwood Forest. Not far away 
furiously burning fire and clouds of thick black

smoke and sparks cock up. Nearby basking
Will Scarlett, Little John and
Nazir.
- Hi all - cried Robin.
- Hello to you, you're on the heroic
ours - greeted him with Scarlett, whose voice could feel a fair 
share of sarcasm. Greeted and Little John.

- A million cheers to you ... -
began, Nazir, but Robin
anticipating that this speech
stretch of approximately
half an hour, interrupted him.
- And do you know, dear,
that here we have going on?
- Come on. We did not
know. And in the end, we are your
Friends! - Chorus minted they
well memorized over the years
phrase.
- Yes? Oh well - thoughtfully
Robin muttered, taking a cordless telephone. - Giving 
different. What we say Lestrade? - Get the more evidence - that

all that was to hear.
- Gee - thought Robin and
added aloud, - I'll go take a walk ...

   Soon he saw his father Gorbachetnika. He shoving thirty
oleninburger first into a huge
hole, probably called the mouth.
Loud sounds of chewing interrupted
suddenly there was an explosion.
Everything was as before, only
Robin could not discern
Where are gone the monk. To my surprise it was gone too quickly,
changes also came a lot of pieces
that are likely to be called
sometime before the Father Gorbachetnikom.

   Nearby is a fairly
cozy burrow, where temporarily homeless bum Marian. Ibid Robin 
said oil lamp, under which flaunted the inscription: "stolen 
from the hotel" Holiday Inn ', Nottingham. "There were steps, 
and then the rustle, and the hole Marian crawled.

- Hi, Marian!
- Hello, darling!
Marian leaned over and kissed her, Robin slowly, imperceptibly
hid lamp in his pocket, passing
surprised, as soon as it is
failed.
- Honey, see you later - and
He slid out sideways.
- Now I will not stumble
night on the stones - happy thought, "you are our heroic", and 
then also stumbled on the corpse of Watson.

- Here's one more pokoynichek - Robin shuddered, automatically 
examining the contents of the pockets of the poor doctor, where 
no found nothing of value except

regarding the latest issue
local press. Of all the nonsense
which is filled with every weekly newspaper, Robin drew
article about the strangeness of the behavior
Harney Hunter - Lord of the bushes, and on page 94 Robin
came across an article titled "Shock." Here is its content:
New vaseline candle, which for so long talked producers that 
they're most useful: give light, warmth and entertainment ', 
escaped the police examination. Officials will tell readers 
more about the details of what happened, but there is reason to 
assume that would impose a ban on the production of this 
product, which surely become the center of a scandal in 
government. "We love them '- said today the ruling party. Read 
more on next week. " - They - this is who or what? - Here

question that remained
unanswered, and Sherwood Forest to
time gradually moved to DVZHK
or a road paved with yellow
Brick, on which Robin
met Dorothy sobbing.
- What is it, baby - asked Robin.
- Oh, ye gods! Happened to the worst of all, what could me
ever happen - crying
Dorothy, tugging at a strap on
bra size 12. Robin
I can already imagine the most
worst thing that could come up with.
- My dog was kidnapped! And do not
Ask-er-me about anything
b-b-more, a terrible man!
And yet, when Robin,
wagged his finger to his temple and went
further, Dorothy slowly dragged behind him.

   Finally, they reached
large doors of the convent. Dull brick walls with
only a small barred window gave the building
sinister look.
- Sign? - Asked Dorothy.
- And how is it - laughed Robin. However, it did not
Timeout. Huge nun barred their way. At this time one
from Hell Riders rode to
him on the huge stallion.
- Buy sado ... Oops! After all, you
Robin, is not it? Excuse me, sir!
- Rumble intermittently rider off, but
soon returned - Hi, Mom!
You see, I finally got to adventyuru company Delta-4 "- and
newly retired.
- Hey, Robin, - said Dorothy, - It is, after all, a convent, 
and certainly a man there can not be allowed.

- You sure? You're absolutely sure of that? Then proceed a 
little differently. A minute later entered a convent

Robin and Dorothy, dressed as nuns.

   Inside the building of the monastery seemed high, large stone
arch rose in the sky. Wall
were decorated with small blue crosses. In the hall sat
Mother Superior, fairly
sozzled "Whisky". Unsteady
movement with a trembling hand she thrust into his mouth a 
cigar. Robin took lighter found during

long travel to Sherwood
forest. Only a tenth time he
managed to light a cigar, and
Mother Superior, stretching, was let ringlets. Deciding not to 
disturb her to enjoy this is so important occupation, Robin and 
Dorothy went to inspect monastery. Nearby is

staircase leading to the office of Mother Superior. On the table
horrific proportions littered
securities, which are looking at, Robin accidentally stumbled 
upon a suspicious letter read: 

                J. Tesberi LTD.

                       Oggo Indus.

                      Nottingham

                         England.


                      October 23


                        Gentlemen,

We would like to order one hundred (100)
copies of your new model
Garden gnomes "MT-4. Hope
that the usual volume discounts all
still in force. A check is enclosed.


                    Sincerely,

                        Skuiggl.


   Not finding anything more interesting, they went down. In
One of the rooms attention of Robin
attracted the walls of the wooden
panels. During the inspection of a
of the panels opened, and her
showed the passage.
- So not everything is clean, and
letter could be one of the
evidence. Look, Dorothy, and not
Whether you go for the letter, as long as I look around this 
room? And she dutifully dragged back into the

office of abbess, and Robin came into the passage. Within a 
large All rooms have been forced by

conveyors and dyeing machine. Nearby strewn bucket
filled to the brim smurfadom.
"Another product of the monastery -
flaunted an inscription on it.
- So that's what they do here, terrorizing the poor Smurfit!

   When Dorothy had brought a letter
travelers came from the monastery. Now their path lay in the 
village of Smurfit. Attempts to speak with the local population 
does not yielded significant results. All Smurfit were too 
intimidated to talk to anyone. Inspection of houses accidents 
residents nothing new dal. But it was enough just to go to

house godfather Smurfit as
literally out of nothing came the guard and threw all into the 
street. - What kind of hospitality - Robin muttered, 
straightening clothes, and thought to myself,

- Nothing, we are still upon her here,
and not alone.
And they went to the train station.

   The station did not constitute a
quite unusual. Ticket hall was dirty, standing near the smoky 
dirty grill, apparently the faulty sanepidemstantsiey. 
Somewhere in the middle Hall was a machine for sale

tickets. Robin got credit
card and put it into the machine.
After a long quiet grumbling and cursing machine literally
and spit out a card and a ticket out.
- I wonder to what station
this ticket, - asked
Dorothy. But no destination
any number of a train can not parse.

   Soon the train arrived. As
I found out he was
only going from this
station. Inside the train was dirty, like the passengers go
from it. Location not undertake to
car ran into Little John.
- Here in the woods sits kebmen - "he began, - It seems he
upset about something.
- Robin, let's go, let's see, and
Suddenly he needs our moral
help - wept tender-hearted
Dorothy. He could no longer hear the sound of her voice, so
waved his hand and followed the Little John.
- Well, what we do wrong, -
Robin asked, annoyed at
kebmena.
- And do not ask me! All I
know, so that there is someone to lead my cab.
- Well, well, if we
find it on the road, be sure to bring you.
Just do not cry.

   Soon, Robin, Dorothy and John
met the rest of his
Team: Nazir and Will.
- And do not go Are we to Marian, -
Robin jumped - quite a while I
no scrying ... have not seen it.
Friends had no choice
but to follow Robin,
Yet he still was the main thing.

   Somewhere along the road in the wilderness
Sherwood Forest, they stumbled
for fixed Garden Gnome.
- Aha, now we will look at what
engaged in a monastery - Robin was delighted, and rubbed his 
hands, went to work. As it turned out, garden gnomes was 
repainted Smurfit. On the tape around his neck, was written: 
"Jim fixed it for me, but on the other side:" But I really 
wanted to sing with George Michael. This product

monastery. I will try to present it as evidence in court. "
- So that's why all Smurfit looked so scared! -
exclaimed Dorothy.
- And it seems to me that here, in addition implicated the 
godfather Smurfit - said Robin, picking

desyatipensovik, sprawling at the feet of
Stone Gnome.
- Well, that's enough to stand, it's time to deal with all this 
- eagerly rattled Nazir. 

        After some time
travelers again approached
home godfather, and before hearing
Robin heard the sound of conversation
mitted within this structure.
Robin went to the window.
- ... Such are the cases Handy. Until
As long as you do not pay 10 smurfoyagod a week, I
I can not guarantee that you
did not end his life decoration on someone's lawn ...
The sound of footsteps, and someone who,
probably named WC Handy came out.
- Now I understand everything, - said Robin, returning to his 
friends, - Time to tell everything Lestrade.

- Lestrade! Lestrade! - Cried
Robin. - Stop shouting, - the voice from the crowd - the 
phone-it you on that?

# A of a crowd, anyway? Yes, in general, what we
difference?

   Be that as it may, soon, Robin spoke with Lestrade (by 
phone). After some time Police raided a monastery.

Godfather Smurfit and Mother Superior were planted behind bars. 
But it was only small fish.


   Robin continued to investigate, wandering through Sherwood 
Forest in company of their colleagues. Their attention was 
attracted by a bucket of Vaseline. It is unclear who might have 
left his middle of the forest. Nearby heard screams and the 
trees they saw Bloody Riding Hood and the Wolf

medium size. The latter is not
knew that this little
She was close, but it
is reached as soon as she
began to beat him on the head with an iron crowbar.
- Have mercy, have mercy! - The last effort cried wolf. After
then both disappeared somewhere behind the trees.
- Well, youth has gone - frown Little John. Unexpectedly
the phone rang.
- Is it possible once again got the wrong? -
Robin thought, but still raised
tube - Yes.
- Lord of the bush is not the one for
it claims to be - the voice said
on the other end.
- Wait a minute .. - But the man hung up.

   A nearby partying Three
Bear and Goldilocks. Painting
was impressive. Among the forest
was the house of the Three Bears. Near the house stood hastily
nailed the gallows.
- Oh, God, - muttered Nazir -
what is happening in the woods!
- It seems that things gradually go mad, - answered
Will.
- Well in the end you
happened? "said Robin.
- This sassy girl ... slipped ... in our mess ... laxative - 
plaintive speech was interrupted by the Bears that they line 
ran somewhere around the corner - So we ... want it ... hang!

- Well, what do you say, babe?
- I'm not guilty, I was framed!
- Do you have an alibi? - Asked Little John.
- I was upstairs and slept. Suddenly
Bear cub lay in my bed, and
Of course, woke me up. When
his mom and dad came back, he
told them that he is punishing me
for the fact that I allegedly slipped
something to eat. In the end,
they dragged him away from me,
but now hang me.
- Okay, I need to explore
the scene - said Robin, and went into the house.

   On the carpet in the house lay a broken chair. Nearby is a 
vast glass desk. It was very broad bowl, which could see the 
remains of cereal and laxative. On the second floor

Robin did not find anything special. When Robin returned to the
first floor, where not undertake
jumped out of bed pervert
Gisburn. A few hours later
horrific torture games firm MasterFayerTronikBerd, our hero
was chained to a pole
near a pond with black water.
-Hey, people! Well, what do you stand as a
petrified? Save me! - Robin protested.
- But we do not know what to do! -
corresponded to his team.
- From all the ills and misfortunes you
Vaseline will help! - Suddenly rumbled Nazir. This time he was
surprisingly brief.
- Well, wear it here! - In
impatiently shouted Robin. Through
while petrolatum had been brought and the shackles were removed.
Not far from the pond was
farmer.
- Rob Bishop and please
give me a gold bar, which is now his.
My family to eat. Help
poor! I'll meet you in the village - said the farmer,
dragged away. Wasting no time, Robin looked sternly at
Bishop, who passed
and heard the entire monologue of a peasant. The bishop chose 
not to quarrel with the great Robin, left bar and hurried to 
get out away.

- Thank you, thank you -
farmer jumping for joy, -
Today we will be there and he
beaming with happiness, then went home. After some time on the 
road almost knocking Robin & Co. swept sports car. Behind the 
wheel sat the same farmer.

- Hold on, give us food! - Crying
his starving family,
whip for the recessive "Porsche".
Robin glanced at the door
peasant homes. Shack was
pretty lame. Paul was zastlan
old numbers of the newspaper "Pravda". In the corner, quietly 
rusted Music Center. - That's figure it out here - lamented 
Robin - who needs help, and who does not!


   Soon, my friends got to
One of the barns Harney. Robin
got a bunch of skeleton keys.
- What, in broad daylight, you will get into someone else's 
barn? - Dorothy was surprised. - And why not? - He shrugged his

shoulders - I have some
suspicions, and we check them, if suitable Keys.
A few minutes later the door was open.
- Just as I suspected - said
he, pointing to the cab, which pylilsya in the corner.
- Harness and colleagues! - Robin commanded. - You're lucky
it, and I'll lead you.
His friends had no choice
do, how to obey.
- And you find me a cab! - Laughed happily kebmen when
I saw a procession, led by
Robin.
- A huge thank you. I assume -
continued kebmen - that Harn
it will have to do something -
and drove away.
- Well, at least one we have helped -
Dorothy wiped away a tear.
- And where do we go now? - Asked Nazir.
- Where? At Nottingham Castle,
of course - said Robin.
- And it's not dangerous? - Dubiously
asked Dorothy.
- Calm down, baby! Dangerous, of course!

   Gates at Nottingham Castle
were closed, and how much they
no chattering, no one opened.
- Will have to go through the black
move - decided to Robin, and digging
in the bag took my hat, found
in a supermarket Kentucky Fried
Skuirrel.
- Good afternoon! Kentucky Fried
Skuirrel is pleased to present to you
their products! - Robin immediately went into the role of the 
merchant. - We offer a solution for almost any problem with

our essential goods. AND
requires something of nothing ...
The guard, who was already fairly
got similar aredlozheniya,
interrupted him:
- Though you look like Robin
this awful man outside the law, on your hat, I see that
You just simply a harmless
trader. So you can go
inside.

   The castle was empty.
- Where are all gone, I'll never know, - said Little John. On
the first floor they went into great
Hall. Was placed at the corners
cheap furniture, and the terrible
thick and short candle that was made to Hall, mercilessly
smoked. They saw the Sheriff.
- Ah-ah-ah-ah! - He exclaimed, barely
Robin noticed. It is unclear how
way in his hand was Sheriff
white flag, and he was waving to them. Realizing that it is 
safest to escape, sheriff bravely rushed into the passage and 
disappeared into the an unknown direction, leaving

flag on the floor.
- Here is my battle trophy - Robin smiled, picking up the flag. 
- Put him at home.


   Exculpatory evidence
Goldilocks, Robin has not yet found
so he had to continue
their search in the Sherwood Forest.
He came upon a meadow, it is unknown
for some reason, popular among
Victorian bookcase.
- And by the way, a personal locker, - said Robin, looking at 
the discovery - can us it that ... to home?

Probably he had accidentally clicked on
some secret switch
since opened squeaky
closet door, revealing for a
staircase leading to the hopeless darkness of the cave. The 
first thing that said Dorothy, descending

down, it was stolen by Toto.
Seeing him, Dorothy from all
Heart kissed Robin, and hurried to his four-footed
other. After a while Dorothy she said:
"Well, it's time to see the Wizard
Emerald City. Bye! - And
quickly ran away.
But Robin and others friends were at a loss about what to 
become of the same train ticket, bought at the railway station. 

   Whatever it was, the only place in this part of the forest,
where they were not, was the house of Grandma's Blood Cap.
- Something I'm afraid to go -
said Robin tremulous quiet
voice. - If you beat the granddaughter
crowbar Wolf, one can imagine
imagine what it is capable of
grandmother.
- Hey, Robin, you also have
white flag - said the little
John - so its something Grandma should
notice. You look, and not with a crowbar
You will beat it, and pan, for example.
- Thanks, reassured - retorted Robin, but still took the white
flag in his hands, and went to the house. As
Ironically, he was still alive.
Walls of the house were riddled with bullets, hanging down 
shutters, window frames were shot to pieces,

windows was not in sight. Through
crack in the wall on the street leaning out a large anti-
gun. In a wheelchair sitting
Grandmother, wrapped with grenades and
large-caliber ammunition.
- You're lucky that I saw
white flag - giggled Grandmother
and sipped a hefty swallow from
bottles filled with pure
alcohol.
- The only way I realized that you do not
electrician, who came off
electricity for nonpayment.
She opened her chair, pulled up to the window and pulled out 
from the pack "Belomor" cigarette.

- By the way, rumor has it - the beginning
She lit a match - that Moriarty returned to Cher ... - There 
was an explosion. When the smoke cleared, nothing could be 
found. Do not have survived even the chair.

- Moriarty? - With horror in his voice
Nazir said.
- It's time we visit the Harn -
said Robin.
# No sooner said than done. Road
passed through a magical place
- Circle of Druids. A lot of things said about him. Some have 
argued that it is an evil place, others - that

good. Rate as had Robin. In the center of the Circle of Druids
rose sosiskopodobny obelisk on top of which stood
mystical ancient and no longer working coffee maker. So nothing
without waiting for the obelisk to be
perhaps because of them not
it was the druids, the company moved
further.

   Parking EnSiPi was empty.
Randomly scattered around the room
machines for ticket sales is not
worked, and fluorescent lamps that are protected from 
encroachment Vandals, sly twinkle.

The floor was clean and waited for the used tickets. There was 
silence. - No one here, - has noticed

Will.
- It's obvious - said Robin.

   Nearby is the toilet.
On the wall was read the inscription: "Pay Toilet. 10 pence - 
15 minutes and no more!" - Wait for me here, - said

Robin, dropped in the slot 10 pence,
opened the door and entered. But! This
was not an ordinary toilet. This was
WC-teleportator went into that Robin dematerialized and
a few seconds later materialized again. Like all
was in place, and Robin came out in a totally unfamiliar
place. Whether the toilet was working properly, then there was 
still any reason, but through the window to return the coins 
fell spent desyatipensovik. - It may be still be able to go 
somewhere to get - thought Robin but materialized again, he

realized that he had fallen back there,
where there was parking nearby EnSiPi. Having gone a few times 
here and there, to Robin finally realized that more to get 
anywhere using the toilet will not succeed. Had to walk.


   Suddenly, the woods come alive. Fierce
the type of trees teamed
some unknown way,
caught near standing
humble woodcutter and dragged
into the bushes. Muffled screams were heard from there and 
quickly subsided. 

   Soon they reached the cottage Harney. Opposite him stood
Another barn was empty. Cottage was two stories.
He was surrounded by a lot of fun
small bushes, and inviting to approach them, but none
did not do this, mindful of the woodcutter. Still trying to get 
inside the cottage success is not unsuccessful.

- It would be nice to find the owner,
maybe he will hold us
inside - suggested Nazir.
- Harn? Well let's go find him.
Going a little further, travelers once again saw the barn.
That something was not empty.
Inside lay an empty packet
inscription "Megavzryv. Strong laxative.
- Goldilocks obviously could not shove here package - suggested
Robin. - So she is innocent.
And now let us return to our sheep, I mean, I wanted to say
to the Three Bears.
And the whole company hurried to the above ba ... bears.
Suddenly, Little John stopped.
- What is it? - Asked Robin.
- Look ahead Harn, - he answered.
- Nothing, now count up the hose and talk to him. Perhaps
even learn something.
- Good day, Harn.
- Hi, idio ... I mean, you idiot, I did not recognize you
immediately. Hi, Robin.
- Harn, you accidentally do not know
what happens in the woods?
- You ask me, well known for his loud affairs Mori ... I wanted 
to say, the sea of questions you ask me about any nonsense, 
Robin. - Do you know whether Harn, a lot of things

happened recently.
How are you things with an alibi?
- Uh, you know, Robin, my
the forest was not there when it all happened - Harn noticeably 
nervous. - Well, Harn, I must go.

- Go, go, that is, so far! -
Harn said with obvious relief.
- I do not understand how, hopefully,
and you, - said Robin, when they
moved away.
- All of these tucked Harn, or
I suspect that Moriarty, who managed to somehow
cheat and substitute Harney. I would
though now called Lestrade.
But he immediately pulled me with
searches in the cottage Harney, and then
I do not have time to the Three Bears.

   Well, the house where they cook
take heroic death Goldilocks. She stood on a stool
with a noose around his neck, and the Bears already
preparing to send its first
voyage to another world.
- Stop! - Cried Robin, and
everyone looked at him.
Then he got a package from the
laxative, showed him three
Bears and said, in what
circumstances he found it.
Soon Goldilocks was sent home and the Bears themselves are gone
the corner and never returned.
- It's time to call Lestrade, - said Robin, taking out his 
wireless phone. 

   Soon the police broke into the
Cottage Harney, and with it
got there and Robin.
- Well, - said Inspector Robin,
- I think you would be better to look around and then come to 
me with answers to questions. And do not stop

as the obelisk.

   The first floor is
kitchen, dining room and veranda. From
All the three rooms most interest was food. She
was fitted to the last
art. Black mikrodrayvovaya stove, preparing the usual
sorokavosmikilobaytny dinner for
nine seconds, quietly humming in the
one corner, while the dishwasher EmEsIks quite noisy rustling 
in the other. 

   The second floor was
bedroom Harney, in its southern wall
There was a door. Robin opened it, and
from the mist, mysterious lights rastsvechennogo, fell to
floor tightly bound figure Harney.
- Moriarty took my place and began to corrupt the entire forest 
- slurred and mumbled quickly

this Harn. All attempts
pull it down ended
failed, so Robin had to go himself.
- Well, what does it all mean? -
asked Lestrade.
- It's elementary, Lestrade -
said Robin.
- Moriarty stole Harney.
- Well done - said
Lestrade, after Harn
was unleashed.

   Thus, the incident was over.
However, it is also true that Moriarty later escaped and 
disappeared from forest. Maryann arrived, and then

She and the rest went into a tavern to meet all
their desire remained unsatisfied for
throughout this epic. So ended the episode in the life of Robin
Sherlokskogo.