Humor - Dictionary of the AK-47

(C) AK-47.
Music: BY Mr.Z / HWC



           DICTIONARY OF AK-47.

               (First Edition)



 Loudmouth - iron, bakterialogicheskoe weapons Chukchi 
Strategic Command. Transmit the virus verbal diarrhea, and 
Dahl's dictionary has random number generator. Later he became 
the most famous philosopher and Chukotka NDRM.



 GREAT Devouring - novella AK-47 at this point does not exist 
yet. But soon I'll write. Read!


 Winnie the Pooh - bear, puffy fat permanently
eat, instead of brains - Sawdust (no comment needed).

 Wally - kook lunatic, a detailed description
in the dictionary is not worthy.

 CHIEF - iron with a brain on one side, the rear
part of the spring is mounted, one of the major strengths - the 
ability to read the Chukchi. The assembly is made on the 
Chukotka (see Chukchi). 


 CITY OF N - a town in NDRM, it occurred above events, location 
and reason - see NDRM.



 KINDERGARTEN (from the words of children to plant) - a place 
of imprisonment svermaloletnih criminals. Is an angular house, 
uncertain construction, surrounded by a high fence. Wardens 
(Which for some reason called caregivers) monitored compliance 
with the order and prevent escape of DS



 DIZZY - spivsheesya egg outfit Mike Tyson.
The hero of the national epic NDRM.


 DIZZIN GRANDPA - Party and Battle of Kulikovo
all the other soldier, three eggs of the Soviet Union,
has an award for her "cowardice" (mostly from the army
opponent). Difficulty hearing, difficulty seeing, does not 
speak to the war has lost both legs and both arms. 

 Dylan - the next egg, DIZZY cousin, loves to play the 
harmonica, and the nerves around them. 

 DOZZI - egg, each DIZZY (well, and got me these
eggs!). To hang with the battle, pretended to be an artist, 
painted a portrait abstraktsionny CHIEF, who later sold it for 
$ 1000.000. 


 DORI - egg female, loves to cook. Information for reference: 
if you're even the most harmless cooking DORI watered the 
flowers ... can forget about them forever!



 Daisy - the egg a female friend of Dizzy. Blizzards poor hero 
of the epic when and how horrible. 

 DENZIL - a great designer and inventor
NDRM. Invented: spatial bulbulyator, subatomic toaster, iron 
ion-kinetic, плазменнометагалактический perelistyvatel pages of 
the book, photon-hanger, etc., but the most outstanding

his discovery was and remains the quark dipolyarizatsionny 
moonshine. 


 Zhirik - the head of the LDPR faction, different violent
temper, even pereklounichal Oleg Popov (actually, on this 
property and Dylan alludes ironically). 

 ZAZ (Zaporozhye Automobile Plant) - car company in the 
Ukraine, the machine is worse than ZAZ produces only NYUFST 
(Num-ba-Yumbiyskaya Firm Mobile Tugovozov), and CHZPMOO 
(Chukotka plant Manufacture of Oleshek, however). 


 IA - donkey, friend of Winnie the Pooh and Piglet is now 
deceased. Favorite pastime - making fun of others. In the face 
of IA received more than WINNIE ate med.


 Detention cell (CTC) -
wherever CHIEF and his friends was sent into exile for 15 days 
for their political beliefs. 

 Pineapple - another iron, filled with TNT,
built-in fuse of the bomb, as well as subprostranstvenny 
materializator. 


 SAC - hollow iron, has no brains. Is
transport unit Chukchi army. From Nothing
do usually poprygivaet.

 Democratic People's Republic MUDO Call (NDRM) - Republic, 
named in honor of the general population (eggs). Located hell 
knows where, based hell knows when. Where the hell, who knows 
all this, nobody knows ... 

 National Liberation Army NDRM - Army organized Chukchi 
provocateur - MAIN in 1997, recruited from the indigenous 
inhabitants NDRM. Suffered a crushing defeat. 

 The Last Battle - a game SPECCY, pretty cool.

 Piglet - a pig who has become a childhood friend WINNIE
DOWN. Hobby - to bring DIZZINOGO
GRANDFATHER before his heart attack balloons. Shot once in his 
life - how then beat him Winnie the Pooh - history is silent.


 SEYMOUR - People directed by NDRM, winner of the Oscar
(On the head), as well as a number of rotten fruit ... His 
films have consistently held first place in the categories: the 
dumbest, most boring, unpopular, the most unprincipled and so 
forth 

 SMAGLI - healthy grasshopper, his idol - DIZZY,
therefore he always and everywhere, decimated by the egg.

 SMAGLI on the trail of - novella AK-47 at this point does not 
exist yet. But soon I will write ... Read!


 Forty-eight iron - covert operation Chukchi exploration to 
seize power in the galaxy. 

 Chukchi - northern nation, has no written form, mow at idiots, 
but they have big plans: power over the galaxy are sending to 
sabotage specially prepared iron-Sabotage (already

created 48 irons-saboteurs). Earth is in danger!
In the Sahara will grow deer ...



ursantov). Earth is in danger!
In the Sahara will grow deer ...



ureral. Sergeant encircles system
recruits scornful glance:
 - Well, who wants to try first? ".
Willing and have not found ...
 - Well! Then go ... go ... SEYMOUR ...

     Miserable rookie trudged to the rifle ...
Charge it for ten minutes it ... Suggests another fifteen ... 
The remaining recruits and instructors prefer to hide in the 
trenches ... A shot rang out (or explosion ?)!!! Smoked SEYMOUR 
stood with rifle barrel razvorochennym ... At the same brand 
new target, exactly in the center, could see a round hole ...  
- Pop ... - Managed to stammer SEYMOUR before Instructors 
attacked him with fists ... 


     The field covered by a layer of mud, "running"
(Supposed to be run, in fact, the fastest of them would give 
way to the primacy of even a turtle) three dozen tortured, 
filthy recruits ... SMAGLI, adjusting his helmet and looked 
around: Instructors can not see around - you can try to turn 
the corner ... Grasshopper dived into the bushes ... In the 
bushes was a sergeant Winnie the Pooh with a machine gun in 
their hands ... Grasshopper slipped back - in order ...



     ... Snout (see glossary) struggling to cope ... More
would - you would be loaded on the vast and useless
helmet, gas mask, rifle, ammunition, and suhpaek
etc. In this case, the little pig put foot
tarpaulin boots size 45 ... "We need to slip away, oh, right!"

     Winnie the Pooh sat in the bushes and had finished suhpaek,
CHIEF order was concise and simple - all deserters decided to 
do! .. When asked WINNIE, what are these "dezyu-and-rtiry, 
chief almost without battering explained that it was all those 
washed with the teachings ... 


     Piglet jumped into the bushes, threw the heavy
ammunition and took to their heels ...
 - Wait, dyuzertir! I'll shoot! - Said solid
voice. We can not say that the soul went into Piglet
heel. There she lived constantly. But his legs bold
warrior buckled ...
 - I-to-hand over-yus in-in-the films-en! Only spare!
 - There was an order - to finish all dyuzertirov as such ... 
Someone also reminds me that dyuzertir? ..  - Vinny, it did I - 
Piglet!  - No! - In a firm voice snapped bear. - You

dyuzertir disguised as Piglet! Pray for better!
 - WIN-NIII! .. - The silence was broken machine gun ... More 
from the landfill is not ran one ... 

 -... A soldier must be able to absolutely everything! - 
Instructively said DIZZY, unwinding with a screwdriver General 
Pineapple, served as a visual aid for demining work. - ... Even 
disarm the bomb ... The main thing guess posting ... (DIZZY 
stopped short: from the womb unstrung pineapple sticking out 
about three dozen wires ...) Your mother ...


     ... He is still posting a bite ... There was a loud 
explosion ... When the thick smoke cleared, the test area was 
empty ... Half an hour later found DIZZY - he hung on the bank, 
10 km from the landfill ...  - Well, do not guess! .. It 
happens to everyone!. 



     ... Before the future nurses stood windbag
CHIEF instructed him to instruct on medicine. Loudmouth heard 
this word first time ...  - Uh-uh ... - Began chatterbox. - So 
true ... Well, in general, it is ... Who will tell me what the 
medicine? ..  - Medicine? .. - Repeated Daisy (sm.slovar). 
"Well, is when the wounded being treated there ...

 - Ah! It is now clear ... In short, when soldiers are wounded,
he needed to amputate the injured limb immediately ...
 - And, if the head wound?
 - Amputated head ...
 - And in the body?
 - Finish is better soon, so do not suffer ... Then
fresh wound is filled with iodine. If there is a much yelling
apply anesthesia ... Here is a list of elementary sets nurse 
email:  1) itself is a nurse. . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 pc.

 2) chainsaw (for amputation). . . . . . 1 pc.
 3) Sledgehammer (anesthesia). . . . . . . . . . . . 1 pc.
 4) Iodine (minimum). . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 liters.
 5) Earplugs. . . . . . . . . . . . 2 pack.
 6) Gun (bad finish). . . 1 pc.
 7) bullet (to have enough for the whole regiment). . a lot.



                  Chapter 6.

      "Armor is strong and our tanks are fast."



     CHIEF read the section "Armour." Section
read: "However, the white man, a soldier uses a large Oleshko 
without horns. The color of this Oleshko, however, as the 
sunset, but only green. Strong skin, large eyes, usually a 
male. " 

     ... The chief duty of searching for a tank that can be
could buy with the money allocated by the Chukchi command to 
help the brotherly people of ... 

     The only tank that can still be purchased for such a 
pittance, had just the right color (though slightly salad), the 
rusty front end it hung laybochka "ZAZ" (see glossary), and 
repair, in which the tank is much needed, even embarrassed

Optimistic CHIEF ...


     ... Odno egg soldiers - DENZIL was good
mechanic ...
 - So .., the wing must cook ... hum ... wheel change
need, ... oh, hell .. Fuel tank punctured ... also need to brew 
... paint was peeling all ... And some idiot brought up the 
exhaust pipe inside the cabin? It is easier to blow up this 
jalopy to the dogs ... Okay, I'll go so far for paint, and you 
get to work ... 

     ... When DENZIL returned with a bucket of paint khaki work 
seething vengeance. Daisy and Dori cooked wings in large 
saucepan. The wheels were replaced by ... on BelAZovskie ... 
But the something funny (or not so?) lay in the fact that drunk 
just DIZZY At that moment, brought to the fuel tank punched 
included autogen ...  - Neee-EET! - Managed to shout DENZIL not 
his voice, before there was an explosion ... Cooked wing

DENZILA knocked off his feet ... Intact, slightly smoky DIZZY 
stubbornly dragged candle to autogen the place where a couple 
of seconds ago was Machine ... Even more grimy and Daisy Dori, 
predatory baring his teeth, approached the DIZZY ... However, 
DENZIL ahead of them ... DIZZY long afterwards washed off with 
a paint khaki ... 



     * END OF NEXT ISSUE *



ischno baring his teeth, approached the DIZZY ... However, 
DENZIL ahead of them ... DIZZY long afterwards washed off with 
a paint khaki ... 



     * END OF NEXT ISSUE *



DOS


               (DDT "Rain")



DOS ... The blue veil of the screen is filled pure DOS.
Mouse ... Became vdryg square, lost formy mouse.
I broke the window, devyanostopyatoe favorite window
I put the DOS, and then yvidel: is happiness - that's it.


Hryuknyl hard drive, and iron quietly under zaryrshalo
 table ...
Zagryzilos! Hey, let's us see what how much;
Come on DOS and let's work ymnoy his head ...
See the same myself! Because DOS is not a fairy tale, it's true:
 he was with you!


Tears on the glasses ... Weird glasses, and maybe tears
 face ...
DOS cleared everything, everything that was superfluous y me
 C: drive
I pressed F8, and hilarious Norton ydalyal me everything:
Forty megabytes. Maybe even more, maybe even
 sixty.


And I introduced: the city flooded vdryg razymnymi
 Persons:
Everyone came under DOS, but damn WINDOWS - ydalyali,
 dammit.
Forgetting WORD, COREL DRAW, and other real
 Hemorrhoids
People put the DOS, as if in paradise come in DOS,
Plain, pure DOS ...


                 *