Ottyag - "I love my job," the seller of alcohol.

     (C) Dr. Laser


     Our customer service and dangerous, and difficult ...


     This day, like many others, began with the fact that early 
in the morning I went trade on the market. The fact that our

pharmacy is located on a deserted street
which, in addition, one-way traffic. So it turns out to
to make ends meet, a pharmacy (in my
face) should be traded away. People
in the market, as always, chock-full, and some even something I 
buy. Suddenly, from not undertake, flies and man enough to 
counter a bottle of Zelenkov. 

     - Stop! - I cry. - What are you doing?

     He looks at me like I was crazy.

     - What? - He marveled. - I cut my finger and I want to 
disinfect. 

     And what would you say to that? I would
also wanted. But I believe that if the seller and the buyer can 
not be mutually polite, let them be polite though

one of them.

     - You're not in a medical center, a pharmacy,
I say. - Buy Zelenka and then do with it what you want, even on 
the ground pour. 

     Meanwhile, the conflict begins to attract the attention of 
passers-by. 

     - Why, in fact, the harvest,
resents standing next to me trader vodka. - Pity would be a man!

     What a smart aleck! Who even asked! Well, you asked for it 
himself. 

     - Maybe, if you regret it?
I am interested in the echidna. - Otolete him a little vodka?

     The audience roared with laughter. Merchant vodka turns 
away. A man realizes how he looks like an idiot, but a false 
pride does not allow him to immediately recognize their

error.

     - Yes, why should I fly a bubble? - He says.

     - Carry on, just in case
I reply. - And then when you next
just cut yourself, I can not be here.

     The audience laughed again. Ashamed
man pays and leaves. Audience
most also diverge, but some linger to see medication.

     - Do you have analgin? - Asks
woman.

     - No, - I replied.

     - And the pharmacy?

     - Also no.

     - And maybe even one upakovochku find it? Oh please!

     Here it is, the heavy legacy of stagnation
time! People still believe that the entire
good product seller hides under the counter, but if it is good 
to ask, can share. But I do not, not because I'm such an honest 
(although until now I have no never caught), and not because 
I'm afraid People's control (and what to fear?)

but simply because I needed revenue.
Do you understand? YOU-handle me!

     However, it seems my explanation to her
do not reach, and she leaves with an injured look. Her place is 
not quite sober man.


     - What do you have with alcohol? - He asks.

     - Tincture Leonurus - I answer.

     He thoughtfully scratching his head.

     - A cheaper?

     - Tincture of valerian.

     It is more thoughtfully scratching his head.

     - And even cheaper?

     Here I am already thinking.

     - Liquid for strengthening hair.

     His face comes alive and it is not surprising: it costs 
three times less expensive liqueurs. 

     - Give five of them - he says.

     But here he was again assailed by doubts.

     - And that's for sure with the alcohol? - He asks.

     - Yes, you are free to read on
label - I answer.

     He takes a bubble, and begins its
examine.

     - "Alcohol-lo these-st", - he reads.
Similarly, with the alcohol. Well, thank you.

     He shove about bubbles in the pockets of
and leaves. Yeah, if he knew that his
waiting, he would not thank me. But
his own fault: if he had a closer
read the label, you would have seen that after "ethyl alcohol" 
is the inscription "Castor oil". To paraphrase a famous ad, we 
can say: "Liquid hair. Drink - is diarrhea. "


     And here's another buyer. To counter suit girl of about my
age and begins to consider medication.

     - What would you like? - Do not expose
I.

     - I have pain here, - says
It, showing somewhere in the abdomen.
- What can you advise me?

     Yeah, just that I cursed the years of stagnation, but now 
it looks like I will have to They regret it. At that time, if a 
person chtonibud hurt, he went to the hospital, there

he wrote out the recipe, which he carried in
pharmacy, not even looking at it, and
sometimes not even verify that
Does the fact that he gives a recipe. Y
I even had a case when it is not
sober companion handed me a sheet, where
was written: "5 bottles of wine, 10 bottles of vodka" and in 
response to my assumption that he handed me the wrong paper 
positiveness stated that it is one that is needed. With great 
difficulty I could clarify the situation. It turned out

that this fellow was going to the liquor store, but lost his 
way and wandered into a pharmacy. And what happens now? All 
consider they are very clever, and therefore believe visits are 
a waste of time and come directly to the pharmacy, claiming the 
"remedy for constipation at the same time and from diarrhea, 
and the remainder to be watered garden in the country. "But 
this girl is capped all. But if she imagined herself to

the doctor, why I can not do
the same thing?

     - Undress, I need you to view - I say.

     - Right here? - Shyly asked
girl. Looks like she did not catch my sarcasm. Standing beside 
people start sniffing. 

     - You can go behind the counter, if you like - I say. So 
now she must guess what I'm laughing at her. Standing

number of people had difficulty holding back laughter.

     - No, - she said - here I am
shy. Better I'll come to you in a pharmacy.

     She turns and walks away. As
a true gentleman, I wait for it
would go far enough and only then began to laugh. Standing
number of people follow my example.

     Fits an old woman.

     - What do you have a headache?
she asks.

     - There askofen and kofitsil - reply
I.

     - What is better? - She asks.

     When I'm asked this question, I
Honestly, I regret that I am not Michael
Gorbachev, since it precisely and unambiguously to
answer this question it is impossible (people are
different drugs and act on them differently), but it asks me to 
accurately and answer. 

     - Do you understand that it is difficult to say anything 
definite. Given the peculiarities of the pharmacokinetics and 
pharmacodynamics ... 

     Fortunately, the old woman did not survive long and 
interrupted me: 

     - And a better lineup?

     Thank God, we stepped onto a solid
soil. Then I know exactly what to answer.

     - Composition of them exactly the same: aspirin, 
phenacetin, caffeine. 

     - And what is cheaper? - Do not let up
old.

     - Price for both is identical.

     - And some more packing? - Old woman makes last attempt.

     - Packing them the same: to 6
tablets.

     This message makes an old lady
think about it. She was in the same position as Buridan's 
famous ass and I did not want to happened to her the same

thing, I come to her aid.

     - Maybe you take both?
I suggest.

     The old lady agreed, thanks me and leaves. And comes up to 
me an elderly man.


     - Do you have anything from hemorrhoids?

     - There are candles Anuzol.

     Of course, I know that the right to say "suppository," but 
then have to telling people what it is.


     - I'll - "he says. Thrust in
pocket of the box, he turns to leave, but suddenly, as if 
remembering something, he asked: 

     - And on which side their Kindle?

     No, I certainly do not burst with laughter, but the effort 
expended to ensure that hold back, probably cost me a few years 
of life. 

     - They do not need light, - I replied.

     - What about using them? -
he marveled.

     I get a strong temptation
reply to him: "zasun'te them up your ass!", especially as this 
phrase has a very precise indication for use. But we should not 
forget that I am All the same upbringing people. 

     - The 1 piece, 2 times a day in direct
gut - I answer.

     - It's in there? - He nods to himself nervously behind his 
back. 

     - Return there.

     He leaves, and the counter suit even
one old woman.

     - Tell me, you have a paste Gaydar? - She asks.

     At first I thought that
I misheard.

     - What did you say? - Asks
I.

     - Pasta Gaidar - clearly repeats the old lady.

     Of course, I could just say
"No" and send her back home, but in me
woke up a professional interest. Case
that for a student in school, and
also works in a pharmacy I had to memorize a few thousand names 
of drugs but there was no one with such a

name. And indeed, as far as I
known in history there were only two famous people with that 
name, one of which for some reason think a good writer, and 
another - a good economist. But in my opinion none of them are 
not worthy to be named for him medicine. And then when I'm 
ready to admit defeat, I dawns. 

     - Maybe you need a paste Teymurova?
I ask.

     - Yes, pasta Teymurova - confirms the old lady. - And as I 
said? 

     But I, being unable to do it again, are limited by the 
fact that she let go necessary medicine.


     Next purchase - clearly a "new
Russian. "His suit is worth more than I
earn in a year, from his breast pocket
looks a mobile phone and on the market parking lot waiting for 
him for sure six hundredth Mercedes (in a pinch

five hundred and ninety nine). In his hands he
contains two tightly packed bags. One
looking out the bottle from the other
stick sausage. It seems that there is a preparation
to triumph.

     - What is it? - He asks,
pointing to a little paper bag.

     - It's aspirin American - I say.

     - You want someone to cheat? - Resents it. - The Americans 
would not have put an aspirin in the paper!


     There are also such people, all of
currently on trial. Well, have to explain.

     - The fact that we have received this
aspirin in packs of 1000 tablets.
They cost too much and nobody will take it. Therefore, we are 
packed up for their 10 tablets in order to better take.


     To confirm his words I pull out
out of the bag the original packaging - plastic cup with a 
bright label. The buyer immediately ceases to be angry and 
looking at her with great interest. 

     - And how much this costs? - He asks.

     In yields! You'd think he was going to buy the whole bank.

     I call price, which is my
monthly salary.

     - Yes Is it expensive? - Surprised
he said.

     For you, maybe, and inexpensive, but
for those who, like me, have the money
live for a month ... It's all my thoughts
apart, because I see how it
throwing money on the counter.

     - Give me the bottle, - says
he said. - Will the stock, not to run all
time in a pharmacy.

     To say that I'm just glad
to say nothing. Now I can
a clear conscience go home. However,
at this point to the counter suit boy
fifteen years old and begins to carefully
examine fingertips. In the end
I can not stand it.

     - What do you want? - I ask.

     Within minutes he is
fish opens and closes his mouth and finally resolved.

     - Tell me, you do not have a bigger size? - He asks.

     Wow, how many years I worked as a
first time I hear that the fingertips
There are different sizes. Well, as the saying goes: "Live and 
learn". And then I guess what he has in mind.


     - The Boy - I say - it's fingertips, rather than condoms. 
Condoms are one "- and points to a pack of condoms Austrian" 
Flirt ". 

     He holds out his money and gets the goods. With a sense of 
duty I'm starting to gather. Adding all the drugs in bag, I 
noticed that the boy is still standing at the counter.


     - What else? - I ask.

     He again opens and closes the mouth,
but in the end asks:

     - Tell me, how to apply them?

     - Instructions in the box - I say,
mentally by the forward-
Austrians. If after all the previous
events I would have had to tell
the use of condoms, I would like
enough Kondratiev.

     Finally, I leave the market. Of course, I
tired, but it does not irritate me. Because I
I love my job.