Ottyag - "Tuk, pull!"

     tsopiriht would TSHASM aka Fedorov Vovan


              OTTYAG rulez!


     Hayushki all People with whom I have booze on / IC, 
hayushki well as those with whom I have not booze on / IC, 
hayushki well as those who were not on / IC! Vovan strikes back 
again with the new OTTYAG (hooray three times)!


     As always, OTTYAG raises conflicting views. Here, after 
the previous ottyaga one of our readers expressed

his view that I - knocked onanist. I
I do not deny, and I want to say that I still
nekropedogomozoofil because I love to fuck the dead young 
Kobel'kov (puppies male), and so I am quite normal

people. Anyway, let us have a good time.



     (C) dr. John


     Hi, People, and wants to take you to the
time, not some maniac, inundated
in a pile of porn magazines, and serial
killer looking for his victims in the gateway
some of the old house, and dr. John.


     Just do not think that will now be
any testiki for horny. At this time I decided to rummage
in your semi-decomposed and stinking
brain, weakened by tobacco, grass and green snake ... and 
indicate whether you can add "chips" when buying a jug with a 
snack or you bessovesno naeb .. T. and After this message, you 
decide how to you should do next: save "dibs" on

rope and soap, to send a pre homies
for booze, more bezabotno burn
your life or relax in the sanatorium
st. Ukhtomskogo ...


     ca. Chasm 'a - Durkee was transferred to
Sunny street of the town of Rybinsk, -)


    IS THERE a place for me in the nuthouse?


     1 Drunk Vasya after the Battle inside the "fire water" 
goes to bed at 8 pm, and starts a clock at 9

o'clock in the morning (to open the store). How many
will be sleeping wino Vasya?

     2 Can a drug addict to marry
his sister a widow?

     3 Is there a November 7 in Ethiopia?

     4 Uncle Viti kitchen infested with 10
cockroaches. All except 9, are dead. How many
remains of cockroaches?

     5 You pilot a plane flying from Havana to Moscow with two 
landings in Algeria which take luggage with foolishness. How 
old is the pilot? 

     6 Do you know (if not forgotten). Usually
month ending 30 th or 31 th number.
In what month is the 28 th day?

     7 You will now thumps have homies in the hut, and suddenly 
the lights went out, you're in the dark, groped two lamps: gas 
and gasoline. What do you ignite in the first place? 

     8 One train goes from Moscow to St. Petersburg, and 
another - from St. Petersburg to Moscow. They went out 
together, but the speed of the first train is three times 
greater than the rate second. Which train will be farther from 
the Moscow at the time of their meeting?


     9 The father and son, fairly taking on
breast, went to ride on the "Zaporozhets and
shoot heifers. Involved in an accident. Father in
terrible agony died in hospital. K
the guy who choked his blood,
the House comes to a surgeon and said, pointing at him: "This 
is my son." Can these words be true?


     10 Homeless Petrovich, making excavations in search of a 
garbage Why would eat or anything pinch,

found a coin dated the 35 th year to
AD. Is this possible?

     1911 Baton sausage be cut to
12 parts. How many times will need to
this wave with a knife?

     12 On the front legs of the gibbon 10
fingers. How many fingers at 10 feet?

     13 Flying two crocodiles, one green and one in Africa. How 
much does Drunk hedgehog?


     14 Under what bush sits addict
in the rain?

     15 As the tide affects the Mediterranean
Sea in the Pacific Ocean on the number of frictions
in reproduction jerboas in South-East Africa?


         Correct answers Petrovic:


     1 One hour (clock not razberaet,
where the morning and where the evening).

     2 No (as a widow - the one in which
dead husband).

     There are three.

     Nine 4.

     5 You - an airline pilot (the pilot as old as you).

     6 In all.

     7 match.

     8 identical (at the time of their meeting
they are at one point).

     9 Now, if the surgeon - the boy's mother.

     10 No. Then, the coins have not written date of 
manufacture. 

     November 1911 sweeps.

     12 50.

     13 As many as sober and hedgehog.

     14 under wet.

     15 A normal person sober up this question in a quandary, 
if you answer it, I advise you to look at yourself.



     Now verify their answers with the correct answers, and 
bruises Petrovich Calculate nepravelnye answers:



     from 0 to 1 - you are a genius (it is strange that
you have to respond to this test)

     from 2 to 4 - an intellectual, you dick
naebesh.

     5 to 6 - a normal kid.

     7 to 8 - you're just an ordinary idiot.

     from 9 to 10 - you are not just ordinary
idiot, but with side effects.

     from 11 to 12 - unfortunately, but you're absolutely 
stupid. 

     from 13 to 14 - the necessary isolation from the
society.


     P. S. Anyone interested in nursing home address, contact 
the Editorial Board. 

     P. P. S. The next time we talk about gays and necrophilia 
... 



     By the way, probably has a couple of years,
Rybinsk, a new youth movement called "bosyachestvo, and people 
who live on the principles of" bosyachestva "-" tramps ", 
though our "Tramp" - especially "tramp," you can

stylishly dressed, hanging out with the heifers,
Laba on the computer, but being a "tramp"
because the meaning is bosyachestva
to maximize nishtyaka
with minimal material
funds. However, sometimes it threatens lethal (this summer, 
died of an unknown toxin in the blood of one of the founders 
bosyachestva Glory Migunov), but this tramp is on the drum.




     (C) Fedorov, "Chasm" Vladimir.


         Are you a real tramp?


     This test will allow you to check
as you close in spirit bosyachestvo.


     1. You have 25 rubles in his pocket, that you
prefer to buy a drink?


     a) The Battle of vodka.

     b) 0. 7 liters of Simon.

     c) a pair of "Troy."


     2. You have 25 rubles in his pocket, and you
stand near the "Crossroads" (Rybinsk
Night Club, also known as "ass") that you choose to do?


     a) go inside (15 p). and buy
bottle of beer.

     b) go inside and throw off
somebody in the jug of diluted alcohol
(Ex. "jug" - dishes capacity 0. 5
liter, which is a liquid with alcohol content not less than 
40%). 

     c) not to go inside and buy
two jugs and drink them in one at his ugly face
pipes near the "asshole" (an ordinary place
hangouts Rybinsk tramps).


     3. If you have a choice to drink beer, vodka and plunk 
revel in Schmal, what would you prefer?



     a) Inflate the beer.

     b) Inflate the beer and otpoliruete
vodka.

     a) Inflate the beer and otpoliruete
vodka, and then explode a scythe.


     4. How do you prefer to spend
time with a girl?


     a) go on a date with champagne and
bouquet of roses.

     b) buy the Battle of port and chocolate.

     c) limit your jug of Sam in one mug
eat garlic, and then fuck his
girlfriend, trying to finish her ebach,
right in the eye!


     5. You're invited to a birthday,
that you give a birthday?


     a) something useful.

     b) something useless.

     c) jug (can be half-empty).


     6. Do you have free time,
how would you prefer to hold it?


     a) go to the library.

     b) go to the movies.

     c) go for casks.


     7. If you do not have money to jug as
you do?


     a) "... and I drink and do not want to."

     b) tightly oblomlyus until the next
times.

     a) laid something on credit, but it'll get jug.


     8. If you get up with a hangover, as you
pohmelyatsya prefer?


     a) does not pohmelyayus.

     b) a beer.

     c) "Troy" (in basche will)!

     (Note "in basche" - such as "more cool", can also express 
any degree of superiority of one subject over another)



     9. You are going to march, how many
booze you take with you?


     a) sobriety - the norm.

     b) a couple of casks on the snout (on the whole trip).

     a) not less than a liter on the snout (daily
rate).


     10. You decided to put Braga, to
catch up with Simon for the new year. How many
Simon you eventually get?


     a) Simon went to drive!

     b) How many planned - many
pasture.

     c) Give God quarters on
as planned (since the fermented drink
also very good).


                 Score:



  1. a) 5 points 6. a) 5 points

     b) 1 - - b) 1 - "-

     a) 10 - - a) 10 - "-

  2. a) 1 - - 7. a) 1 - "-

     b) 10 - - b) 5 - -

     a) 5 - - a) 10 - "-

  3. a) 5 - - 8. a) 10 - "-

     b) 1 - - b) 1 - "-

     a) 10 - - a) 5 - -

  4. a) 5 - - 9. a) 1 - "-

     b) 1 - - b) 5 - -

     a) 10 - - a) 10 - "-

  5. a) 5 - - 10. a) 10 - "-

     b) 10 - - b) 5 - -

     a) 1 - - c) 1 - "-


                   100


     Hi, Shutov!


                  90-100


     In my opinion, you - this tramp!
Hey, come to us in Rybinsk - annoy the fullest.


                  60-89


     Of course, you love plump, but zhresh
mainly vodka, eating dumplings - come to Rybinsk and taught to 
thump in bosyatski.



                  30-59


     Drink not refuse, but until
nishtyaka very rare - not a tramp.


                  10-29


     Major and nerdy! Since you do not thump
interesting.



     I am here, with booze, came up with a small
riddle:


     Get out from under the bench,

     two green gnats.

     They look at me,

     want to meet.


     The answer will find below.


     A few fun anecdotes:


     Of course my daughter loves roses and unshaven men, but 
hates onions, Chippolino! 



     Grandma decided to buy a cow. Well,
went to the bazaar and bought, placed in a stall. The next day, 
milked 5 liters milk. The next - 3 liters. On the following - 1 
liter. More on the next - a pair of drops. And the next general 
or dick, yeah and the cow fell to the ground. Well, she went

Grandma to the vet, explained what and how.
Osmorel animal veterinarian, and says:

     - Okay, Grandma, bull zadrochen, but
live for ...



     New Russian comes to the old Jew:

     - Dad, lend me some money ..



     As they say, the matter would end - come down
with the body, here are a few things
You can do that then there was golovnyakov.


     (C) Fedorov, "Chasm" Vladimir


     15 things you can do
that your girlfriend is not flew at Fake

                  or

     a small digression into the gynecology


     1. Do not fuck at all (for fans of platonic love).


     2. Buy Gandon (thanked! Lost
a lot of sensations).


     3. Make her take protivozochatochnye wheels (already 
better, but some bab prejudices at the expense of hormonal tabs 
- "Yes abilities hair on the legs and whiskers will grow! ").



     4. Put a spiral (globally, so it is recommended for 
long-term relationship when neither you nor she did not want

little bastard screaming).


     5. When the moment comes death,
removed from the # # uy izdy - helps, but not
always (70% probability that it is not flies).


     6. Get her to rinse # izdu
a weak solution of vinegar or lemon juice (your
tadpoles are dying in an acidic medium).


     7. Let it be you otdrochit (fun little, but kraynyak - 
come). 


     8. Fuck her armpit (first
Make it all there is a good shave, but
then # uy obderesh).


     9. Fuck her between her breasts (the recommended size of 
the breast than a quarter). 


     10. Fuck her in the mouth (feel better).


     11. Fuck her in the ass (O, ia! Das
ist fantastich!)


     12. Fuck during menses
(Blood, but reliable).


     13. Do not stop during the whole the FAQ
(Read treatises on tantric
sex, there is popularly described - by the way
cool, though in the end still comes,
But the feeling ten times better than conventional
death).


     14. Dog fuck his girlfriend
(It is not exactly flies).


     15. Fuck your girlfriend's girlfriend
(Although the girlfriend girlfriend might fly into,
but your girlfriend does not flies).


     P. S. Of course this is illegal, but
in dogonku I'll write a few ways to get rid of an unwanted 
pregnancy. If something is not so, then you do not know me

(Ha ha).


     1. There is such a drug "Astrofan", which is used in 
veterinary hospitals and on farms, to facilitate the delivery 
of animals. Simply enter 1 cubic intramuscularly (ampoule is 
very similar per ampoule of relaniuma, only it does not

one, but two green bars) as a
40 minutes to open vaginal bleeding - in general will take off 
everything from what you want to get rid of. Side effects: 
vomiting and diarrhea, so it is recommended not to eat

about 12 hours, otherwise the stench in the global
apartment is provided to you (it was).


     2. Drink a decoction of bay leaf and
Take a hot bath (about an hour) -
should help.


     3. Drink a decoction of tansy color (she
they are plump little yellow)
followed by water procedures of Section 2.



     The answer to the riddle


     a) Gluck (drug or alcohol)

     b) Well, very little green men (i want to belive!!!)



     Oh, and lastly I want to take
Test results of the contest was announced in
seventh room. Since no one wanted
I assist in the evaluation of this competition
(Mail not received a single assessment), then
I personally call the winner! "


     And they are Han 'Cracker of
Good Guys H. G. Their "test for the communists," published in 
the ninth issue, and personally I liked his sense of humor, so 
we send them accordingly This issue of the journal, a photo 
with autographs and 10 rubles (have to drink a cold -)).



     On this bye, before the new OTTYAGA!