Adventurer #10 30 сентября 1999

Новеллы

Novella - on mativam Spectrum games.

     (C) E. Nesterenko (Jam)


          Devil's comedy "


     ... Long ago, oh long I was asleep. Already in
drive is full of dust, let alone the monitor something
and say no. The owner of the school
came and again zaDOOMalsya, straight table shakes. What is 
already here DIZZY, I forgot to even as a floppy disk looks 
like, see, getting old, it's time to die ... 

     I grumbled and grumbled, and "nakarkal. I feel like 
something - it about me, I mean. Runs on the master bathroom 
and mumbling something unintelligible: "Upgrade, upgrade ..." 
Suddenly stare at me, and stopped even once. This means thinking

he came into the RAM. I've got the processor and then
and squeezed, though validol missing. Here
He takes me and the words "long overdue"
pulls away. I do not like change, but here me right HALT 
enough. But what do - stood, waiting. Long we traveled 
somewhere, reached finally. I see - something of their own, 
native, hardware, it smells, but and people, these too much. 
There are amplitude-syudy, BEEP'ayut chavoy something. No, 
although they gods, though "creators" and the country all

Well being. None of them "logic" of the order.
Whether it is our brother - your computer. While I
to their new environment, so get used to it,
my, what you hear, angry something. He offers to all a 
"complex", while those to see, refuse. So we were like, like, 
yes, and went away from there, but not home, but somewhere 
aside. I look - again, unfamiliar places, and again iron

smell, but just not so dead.
Cemetery, or what? Before I could command my
conclude, as I hear: "PC RULEzzz!", and
Then bump and - darkness ...


     I hear a voice, the voice of a nice, metallic. And that 
says something, the words themselves are not disassemble, and 
the current and the spreads on wire ... Something about the 
eternal life of the dark forces of some kind. But here's the 
darkness recedes, I see the light. Only here the light is bad 
red alarm. It causes unpleasant associations: melting, waste, 
scrap ... I climb to his feet, look. Around the fire is 
burning, the walls stone red glow, pomeschenitse hefty, around 
doors, under the hatches feet, head over to the solid fog

of smoke - nothing to parse. And like
no one can hear a voice in the great
set, chanting, moaning, whispering unintelligible. I'm so tired 
to stand, walk over to the most near the door, the door is a 
hefty, steel, three letters on it written. Decent computer and 
their say something embarrassing: "AND BE ME", to which

they here? I began to look for the knob on the door, and
is not it. I see - the mouse is dragged along beside. I just 
wanted to take her, and she looked at I am concerned, and 
blurted out scornfully: "Where Wire pull, I'm not Kempston and

AY, a decent mouse! "Oh, you paskuda,
I think, I'll still single button
add ... But no sooner had I stepped on it
as it should, it is sniffing - and dived into the hole.
I wanted to have another door search, as
rrraz - called this in and out of
She ... Holy Mother, this is mordovorot!
Housing towers - two meters, Winchester
in the hands of horseradish-it-knows-skolkobaytny,
eyes super-shuruper svzha, all in tattoos like: "Intel Inside", 
"Intel upsayd", "do not forget BG!" and so on ... I straight 
timid - as well as semuliruet? But No, there's something else. 
He said to me: 

     - Who are you going? Full Name?

     - ZX Spectrum Sinklerovich - say.

     - Country?

     - Pentagon, we ...

     - What you doing here? - Asks menacingly.

     - Yes, I actually ... and I do not know.
Shel himself, no one touched, and suddenly ...

     - Do not touch, you say? - Surprised
burglar. - Well, we'll check it.
Come with me, but so that no silly!

     I went after him down a long corridor
into the unknown. First and only thought
how to get out of all this, and then
see - go for a long time, a little bolder,
began to look closely. Well it is for a place
such that the conductor of his asking. A
He looked at me indulgently, saying,
you fool, you fool, and says:

     - Hell is a computer. What do you mean,
inscription on the doors have not seen?

     So that's it! Yes, I did not think that
I happen to get here. And the sins of some
total: a pair of floppy disks, "jammed" da ham
unstable ... No justice nowhere!
But here we entered a large room, the people
there - invisible as soon as fit.

     - We'll wait here - said the conductor, while the elevator 
rises. 

     - A long wait for something? - I ask.

     - Well, until the "window shutters-666 zainstalliruyutsya 
so the system will reboot ... So that you do not hurry, saying 
something you know? .. 

     I see - it is stuffy, long wait
have became parties to keep an eye on ...
then there is just not see! For example: should, therefore, the 
Scorpion, all in chains around his neck port # FF hangs his 
peasants some hold, and one small, such

bald, with a soldering iron in hand, all the runs
around and says: "Wait a minute, now I'll button compatibility 
something has attached ..." It is terrible to watch: Leo 
screams, spits, guys matyukayutsya all around in the smoke, 
sparks ... 

     - Who are these people here? - I ask
conductor-burglar.

     - It hardoviki and there, on the left -
softoviki - is responsible. - Yes you look closely
closer, maybe someone will know ...

     And the strange thing: it really
something in all this is painfully familiar, but
now remember, to learn - I can not,
if memory otshiblo! And the people all the fuss, all tossed 
restlessly, cursing ... 

     - Here, the new model! Motherboard -
Amiga, Screw - pisyushny, monitor
MAC'ovsky, video from Sony
Playstation, housing and a keyboard - silikonovskie.

     - And what is there on the Spectrum that?

     - What? TR-DOS and BASIC-48 ...

     - Come, buy! Naikruteyshaya
sound card to your Spectrum -
General Beeper! Why pay extra money for expensive sound cards? 
Buy General Beeper and do not suffer - it sounds

as shitty as all the expensive, but
cheaper!

     - Super-technology! BTR-modem - download information so 
fast that no one PC does not manage to handle it!


     - We offer new, quirky board to
your Spectrum! One has only to stick
Here's a card in a special hole ...

     - And Cho is a hole so and so?

     - Do not tell - the secret to the company. So,
need only pop in, as the screen lights up a beautiful picture 
and a menu from which you can choose your computer to your 
taste and desire ... 

     - A Cho for the menu?

     - Well, like this: "1 - Pentagon
128, 2 Amiga 2000, 3 - Pentium 333 "and so
on. For an extra couple of bucks, we'll add you back Apple and 
Silicon ... 

     - And how are such payment made?

     - Meaning?

     - Well, in a sense, Cho with her in there?

     - Inside her neonka.

     - Cho neonka for this?

     - LPCH.

     - LPCH? Maybe efficiency?

     - No, not efficiency.

     - Then the bullpen? Not?

     - No, no bullpen.

     - A-ah, I got it! LTP?

     - No, not LTP.

     - And how does it work?

     - Well? There, it is the analyzer
and dumatel, when it comes to momentum,
Analyzer analyzes and dumatel thinks ...

     - A Cho for a pulse?

     - Well, any momentum ... Although the square, although 
rectangular, round though ... 

     - You and Cho are with her still inside?
Efficiency?

     - No, not efficiency.

     - Well, it means that bullpen!

     - And no bullpen.

     - LTP, right?

     - No, wrong.

     - And how it all works?

     - I mean, inside her LPCH, and more
there is a parser and dumatel. And now
there everything is very simple: when it comes to
pulse, the analyzer analyzes and dumatel ...

     Clever talk like that, plainly and
do not understand anything, but it is clear that all this
not any Dunces, but real
specialists, a sort of elite. But softoviki
on the left deserve attention: the noise there is
cleaner than even here, the people are. Here
standing next to a bearded man with rolled-up sleeves to the 
elbow and a hatchet and loud cries out:


     - But who play broken, infinitovye, with strings running, 
greetings very long ...


     Approaches him some homely
personality and, glancing furtively, asks:

     - How much tetris?

     - What do you want? There are our there overseas, there 
are colorful, three-dimensional, children, adults, small, 
large, table, floor ... 

     - Let every sort - and quickly
slobbery fingers, counting the dirty bits of paper.

     Near the two bearded fierce debate.

     - I immortalized five thousand!

     - And I'm ten!

     - I bessmerchu but faster!

     - I immortalized chess!

     - I immortalized STS!

     - And I immortality with closed
eyes!

     - I ... I ... you yourself are a fool!

     And here's a couple more, look at each
other contemptuously, but swear.

     - Only lamer through switch # FD!

     - Have you any reference for the Z-80 open, and look, is 
there such a command, or not ... 

     - Well, sho? On my comp, then does not plow!

     - But the team is a perfectly legitimate!

     - But I have something not plow!

     - Its in the design of the processor come up with!

     - But it does not plow!

     - I have works great!

     - ... not plow!

     - You mean, mazday!

     - A Shaw, it is difficult to specify the full addressing?

     - So after all are legitimate team!

     - Well, in fact does not plow the same!

     - But I have something working ...

     I listened, listened, pondered.
After all, how much effort wasted, and the words
negotiations, and confused, what has changed?
But behold, there came, finally, an elevator, the doors flew 
open, pulled out a great heat. 

     - Come on come on - tell me a conductor.

     I looked carefully into the cabin, and there
- Do not breathe.

     - Well, - I say - it is so hot?

     - And what do you want? Processor and then
elevator heats ...

     But that's gone, we began to descend.
Long bym this descent, on the road three times
Freeze, once rebooted, but still
Well Khoi-how to get to the very bottom. Left
the elevator and found ourselves in a huge hall. Y
Wall displays are hefty, the walls
All photographs are hung with a tremendous, but
at all the same - a bespectacled
with shnobelem hefty and predatory smile. One wall only other 
images covered with computers on them are different. Midst

the hall is the throne, the throne is a man of some sitting. 
Head with one hand propped, and another that way lazily across 
the keyboard smacked. Explorer I said to him respectfully: 

     - Here, BG, the offender is detained. Says chance to hit 
us ... 

     BG turned this to our head - father! Well yes it is the 
same that the photos ... He looked at me and frowned. 

     - Who are you?

     - Spectrum we, ZX Sinklerovichi -
I say carefully.

     - Hmm ... - Surprised. - Why not
know?

     - So little old already ... Godkov something
us a lot ...

     - Who is a spy? - Asked lazily.

     Ispuzhalsya me. After all, tell the truth,
so they will not believe!

     - What are you silent?

     - Why, I'm afraid not believe ...

     - Go ahead, tell me! - Grins.

     - I actually do not know how here
and got, I do not understand anything here ...

     - Well, well, we know you devils - "not
I know, yes I do not understand, "and then a cake in
move his ugly face! But, however, I see you
do not go right - always have
them up there any glitches.

     BG looked at me closely,
thought for a minute or two, then clicked on
key ...


     I open my eyes - like home, only the feeling is like I 
just resolder. And the situation is not that - the table 
smaller, but I'm lying on it instead of "Stump." Suddenly comes 
the Boss. Not the true, but also from those of the young so 
early. In his hands - father! cassette tape recorder. 

     - Hey, Petya! - He cries, plugging in the connectors - go, 
look what I was yesterday found at the dump!


     - Xp xp xp, pi-i-i-and ridge-ridge ...

     Wow, old music, I really do not forget it was. And after 
all is loaded, my dear! 

     - Damn, damn, already tired of this
level to pass! Petka, can you?

     - No, I already have the joystick broke.

     - What would invent? .. Oh idea! I wonder how it all works 
that there in this program within the ...?