01 января 1995

         20 Things To Do While Loading a Game From Disk         
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                         By Bogie Of E-3                        
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This is a reply to Clare Bears '20 Things To Do While Loading a 
Game From Tape' so I can show that disk is better!!!            
                                                                
1. Time how long it takes to load (Sseconds) and remember when  
it took 10 minutes to load!!!                                   
                                                                
2. Have a previously written program that keeps spinning the    
disk in the drive, you can now use the drive as a vibrator!!    
                                                                
3. Open a can of lager. You won't be able to drink any, but     
during the game, pause it and take a swig of the lager.  When   
you have finished the can open another and by the end of        
the night you'll be in conversation with your speccy about the  
origin and destiny of the universe!!                            
                                                                
4. Pull your socks up.  There's nothing worse than playing a    
game and finding your socks have fallen off your feet!          
                                                                
5. Crack your knuckles ready to play the game.  By the time you 
have done this the game has loaded!!                            
                                                                
6. Spark up a fag.  This is all you can do, but it helps you    
practise smoking a fag without taking it out of your mouth until
you've finished!!                                               
                                                                
7. Belch!  This usually takes longer than loading the game but  
you feel much better afterwards!!  Try belching all through the 
game loading off tape!!!  Not possible!!                        
                                                                
8. Fart! (see above)                                            
                                                                
9. Try saying "Why is tape so fucking slow compared to disk?"   
before the game loads!  It's harder than it looks.              
                                                                
10. Adimre yourself in the mirror for a few seconds!!           
                                                                
11. Ram the instructions for the game up your arse!!! Who needs 
instructions???  Trying to find what keys to use is much fun!!  
                                                                
12. Scratch yer arse!                                           
                                                                
13. Try sneezing without closeing you eyes!                     
                                                                
14. Turn the radio on!!  96.3 FM isn't affected by Speccy.      
                                                                
15. Have a little laff and giggle while you reminiss about the  
Muppets!!                                                       
                                                                
16. If your name's Brainer have a wank!!                        
                                                                
17. Shout "FUCK OFF" as loud as you can, just to piss the       
neighbours off!!                                                
                                                                
18. Try to match the noise of the disk drive to a well known    
song!! I'll name it in one spin!!                               
                                                                
19. Take the disk out of the drive and then put it back in and  
watch as it continues to load the game and not return in an     
error!!                                                         
                                                                
20. Finally throw that tape deck against the wall while         
shouting "YOU SLOW PIECE OF SHIT!!"                             
                                                                
Well then Clare Bear who's the bigger cunt then????