ZX Pilot #08 28 апреля 1997

Юмор

Visiting Fairy Tales - The Fisherman and the Fish (in the computer account).

 Visiting Fairy Tales



      Tale o rybake and rybke.

    (In the computer transcription)

(C) SLENDER


   ... There once was an old man - the processor, with his 
pezeuhoy. They lived not God knows how, and everything they had 
- only a broken keyboard. 

   Came out as - an old man on the shore of the sea of 
​​information and threw his old nets of channels and streams. 
Cleared the sea of ​​information - ran a bit-wave XOR'ov. 
Pulled out an old man seine - packed seine's software was 
garbage. 

   The second time the old man threw back-seine nets with 
LAMER'skimi intruhami.


   The third time the old man threw the net, pulled, and the 
seine - Goldfish - bug flies failure of programming, like the 
tail waving yes CHEAT MODE'ami as scales, is covered.


   Looks old - the processor, marvels, his three and a half
ticks savvy so on built-in calculator to figure out
that the miracle of software in the network to him caught, the 
fish suddenly yes spoke processor binary voice:


   - Forgive me, old man, in a sea of ​​information, give me 
more though taktochek life to live, catch bits and I tell you 
that for this want to do!


   Replied the old man - Processor:

   - Nothing to me from you, the fish - a glitch, do not, no 
candy, no chocolate, or even small children. Go with yourself 
in a sea of ​​yes INFINIT'is currently at large.


   Let go of her old man - the processor, so came home and told
everything as it was his pezeuhe in TLW-format.

   Pezeuha listened to him, drive heads beaten yes
says:

   - You Th, in kind, absolutely already feeling pretty torpid 
along in my old age? Could not you're a fish-Gluck even a new 
keyboard to beg? Come stamp your its forty feet to the sea so 
the fish - a glitch in the binary click, and not something I'll 
throw you, go to American, to iNTEL'u. (Yes, steep pezeuha. In 
the past, apparently, was an electric saw.) 

   What to do here was the processor? So he went to sea
information. He clicked on a goldfish - Binary, sailed
fish - a glitch, and asked:

   - What do you want, old man?

   She meets an old man with a bias:

   - Have mercy, Your Majesty Goldfish! My pezeuha razvopilas, 
shouting, scattered bytes - Give her a new keyboard, and all 
here! 

   - Well this is my piece of cake, easy. Come home,
You will be the new Claudia.

   Thanks fish processor so went home.

   Comes in and sees: the old woman sitting on the keyboard so 
new to BOMBER plays.


   - Well now, then your sweetheart - baytushenka happy? 
(Honestly speaking, nothing he said it.)


   - You old goat, the processor tactless, really mad
srehnulsya? But come on now Dui to fish so we asked her to
you a new body, and then we both RC-shki homemade: one leg of
another closes so with the third in a pigtail Zapletal, 
tesnotischa! A will be a new building, and morally outdated so 
ideologically not die would be too terrible!


   Again the old man went to sea.

   - Fish - screams - a fish-bug, stand in front of me like a 
leaf before the grass: the forest backwards, to me before!


   Fish swam, she asked:

   - Well, you, old man, still necessary?

   - Yes here pezeuha again shouting, foul assembler labels 
razvyrazhalas: Give her a new body, or myself feet forward from 
the old stem. 

   - Will you housing - luxury. Ciao!

   Returned home processor to the motherboard, looking - and on
site of the old palace of plywood huts made of plastic, with 
the tower - TOWER'om so with power indicator. Looked, wondered, 
and here and pezeuhu his saw.


   - Well, now - then your sweetheart happy?

   - Mota, eight-bit you're mine, to fish, ask for me. I do not 
want I no longer have pezeuhoy, and I want to be BIOS'om 
shadow. (Do not weakly right?)


   The old man went to sea. News raged Sea bits
shore fly free bytes on the schedule funneling.

   Called the old man a fish - a glitch fish swam, she asked:

   - You, old man, soup kharcho what you once again from me, ye?

   - Rybonka, forgive me, but I wasted my pezeuha yes to you 
has resulted in: I do not want to be pezeuhoy she wants to be a 
shadow BIOS! 

   - Well, the figs with you. So far, the old 
man-SPECTRUM'nichek! 

   The old man returned home, and pezeuha it as a yes zaoret
BIOS'istym voice with tenevistym timbre:

   - You dusheudovletvoritel, go to the sea, so tell a fish that
I do not want to be the BIOS shadow, and I want to be 
superbrain and Fish-glitch so that was my glyuchnitsey and was 
on my poplavushkah 

   - But ...

   - Count to three ...

   Out processor, came to the beach, got so thoughtful:

   - To be or not to be, that is the question. What is more 
noble in life: the bow slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, 
Or, took up arms against the sea disturbances, slay their ... 
(The processor was originally from England and was very fond of 
Shakespeare.) 

   Stood - he stood on the shore, and called the fish.

   Fly into a rage sea, buzzing, was the backdrop 
soprotsessornym crackle yes fumes burnt wires whiff.


   The second time he called the old man a fish.

   Broke up the sea more than ever, even more clogged wave
information about the limits of decency.

   The third time he called the old man a fish, and suddenly 
saw a white halo of roses in front of it the fish's nose.


   - WHY ... YOU ... AT-A-ADOBNO,, Staal-Archa?

   - Smiluystivisya, Your Majesty Goldfish - glitch, quite mad
My pezeuha, I do not want to be it BIOS shadow, wants to be
Superbrain yes you were her glyuchnitsey yes was on her 
poplavushkah! 

   Fish said nothing, only the failure of programming, as
tail, waved, the egg fell and broke.

   The old man returned home, saw him sitting pezeuha, the same
shabby as ever, and weeping bitterly.

   And at the feet of it - a broken keyboard, except that a 
button "CAPS SHIFT" had disappeared.