Adventurer #08 31 августа 1998

Ottyag - Test "You are not dumb ass."

(C) Dr. Laser


      You are not stupid ass?



   1. The kindergarten has been a headache
all teachers, because refused
sleep during quiet hours.

   2. At the elementary school was an A

   3. In the senior rolled up troechnika
(Not because poglupel, but just broke
was to learn).

   4. Received exemption from physical education.

   5. Engaged in various sports clubs, from athletics to
Sambo.

   6. Nowhere fuck nowhere.

   7. Was registered in three doctors.

   8. Although felt absolutely
healthy.

   9. Passing a medical examination, was released not only from 
the army, but also on the final examinations. 

  10. And do not even know who the three doctors
grateful for that.

  11. Graduated from high school with ten triples
in the certificate.

  12. Thought he could go to medical school without cronyism.

  13. And did.

  14. Trying to prove to the teacher that
You can determine iodine iodoform with starch.

  15. And proved it.

  16. Was a virgin until age 16.

  17. And after 16 - too.

  18. Never used drugs.

  19. But had a girlfriend, drug addict.

  20. Did not dare to propose to his girlfriend to have sex, 
fearing that it refuse.


  21. And when she broke down and asked him to myself, instead 
of glad, afraid that will not work. 

  22. And, indeed, did not happen.

  23. After that tried to stay away from the girls (and guys on 
too). 

  24. In Soviet times, liked to drink kvass
(Only Severodonetsk, just out of the barrel
and only pollitrovoy circles).

  25. After the collapse of the Soviet Union ceased to drink 
brew because color became like urine (and not only in color).


  26. He did not like to drink beer, because it reminded sour 
kvass. 

  27. Arriving in Moscow during the Soviet era, liked to drink, 
"Phantom" (draft only). 

  28. After the collapse of the Soviet Union ceased to drink 
it, because it stopped selling, and began to drink "Yupi" from 
the pod, buying them at a wholesale market near the metro

Novoslobodskaya.

  29. He did not like to go to discos, because
did not know how to dance.

  30. And still have not learned.

  31. Photographed friends girls
then cut with images of the head and
pasted to pornographic images.

  32. Before leaving on vacation KMV, forgot the camera at home.

  33. When he left there for a second time, took the camera, 
but no picture failed. 

  34. Long thought, what computer to buy, and then bought the 
first available. 

  35. Long thought of what this computer
lacking.

  36. Realizing that not enough drive
bought it, and then discovered that the computer refuses to 
work with him. 

  37. Bought a new computer, and then
discovered that the drive is no good.

  38. Import bought the drive, and then discovered that the 
problems with music coprocessor. 

  39. Had the word alias "Dr." (Doctor), although hated doctors.

  40. Despite this, they have received medications free then.

  41. Pasted on a wall poster upside down, and when passers-by 
made the remark, said: "Sorry, I'm a virgin."


  42. Wrote only one program (and
that was dumb, buggy and uninteresting).

  43. Posted abusive article on the game
only because it is not smart enough to pass
it to the end.

  44. Did not know how to program in BASIC or nor in Assembly.

  45. And still have not learned.

  46. Shaking hands with grandmothers at the entrance,
instead of "hello" say "fuck you" (and
that no one noticed).

  47. He loved to ask such stupid riddles
"Why did the dog run?" or "Why a duck
float? "

  48. Watching "Santa Barbara" from
50-series.

  49. After a 500-stopped watching because
was confused as to who whose husband
or lover.

  50. Accused of cohabiting with a boyfriend
Hand rat.

  51. When he apologetically said that
it is a male, said: "So you're still a homo!"

  52. And when he apologetically said,
that she died, said: "So you're still
necrophile!

  53. And since then he began to call him "gomozoonekrofil.

  54. After reading "The five orange pips," Conan Doyle, began 
to send seeds to all your friends. 

  55. Not finding nook to
go to the wind, went straight to the street
saying: "It is better to let him burst conscience than the 
bladder. 

  56. Let the winds of public places.

  57. Let the winds in all other places.

  58. Walking with friends, approached
girl with ice cream and asked: "Can
lick your ice cream? "

  59. And when one girl, obviously frightened, gave all the ice 
cream and ran away, said: "We would be quite enough for two." 

  60. Approaches to the girl with the cats and
asked: "You can stroke your pussy?"

  61. Asked the girls what they have
color of hair, and received the answer, ask:
"And on his head?"

  62. He loved to swim in the city fountains.

  63. Advised friends to raise
potency drink rose.

  64. I bought the cassette "Tender May".

  65. And when he went out of fashion, was recorded on these 
tapes computer program.


  66. Sent a letter to TV
asked to participate in the "Guess the melody" (with a 
photograph of five years ago). 

  67. And when you do not receive an answer, offended
and stopped to watch it.

  68. Gave on behalf of his friend ad in a local newspaper, 
which was in particular, says that she loves

oral sex (though in fact she had
could not stand).

  69. Writing on the wall of the bus stop
"GO-POWER.

  70. And as in many other places.

  71. Remembered in the drunk scenes from
cartoon "Fantastic Island" and
so it's laughing.

  72. And the surrounding thought that laughs
over them, and very offended.

  73. Drove drunk on the alarm went off, but police did not 
even notice (and if noticed, then they had the tact not to show 
it). 

  74. Lost in a drunken state favorite jacket.

  75. After that bypasses all familiar with
question: "I have not forgotten you my jacket?"

  76. Helping a friend paint
jeans, wrote on his ass: "FREE ENTRY".

  77. Liked to watch Japanese cartoons.

  78. He did not like games like "COMMANDO"
only because it immediately killed.

  79. Played in "CONQUEST" only on the first level, because 
others considered it too complex.

 80. Not passed before the end of a game,
except for "Ivan Tsarevich" (and even then only
thanks to tips from "ADVENTURER'a).


   Well, I think it's time to call it a day.
Not because they have nothing more to say, but
because it broke write more.


  81. Interrupted started the article because it was broke to 
write on. 


   No, seriously, it's time to call it a day. Proceed to the 
debriefing. 

   If you did not answer "yes" to any question, you can be 
calm, to dumb ass you away. 

   If you answered "yes" to several questions, you too can be 
at peace. As states who do not happen.


   If you answered "yes" to about half the issues, although far 
from you dumb ass, but you've got every chance

become it.

   If you answered "yes" on most of
questions, is halfway to a dull ass and, if not accept the 
measures, then will overcome the remaining half so fast that 
even he did not notice. 

   If you answered "yes" to all questions
then either you are dumb ass, or simply
long lived in Severodonetsk.



     Some kind of an interesting dislike the author to a nice 
Ukrainian city of Severodonetsk. Or maybe there really is live 
"peculiar" people ... I do not know, but testik me pinned, 
though a couple of of these fad came to

my person, though kind of like Dumb ASS around me do not think 
so. 

     And now our Rybinsk tests: