01 января 1995

                        Karaoke Anyone?                         
                        ---------------
                       By Bogie And L.A.                        
                       -----------------
Last week L.A. and I went to a pub called 'The Royal Archer'    
which is near BNR's house for all you geography freaks out      
there.  At this rather shit pub they had a Karaoke Nite.  At    
first we were reluctant to stand up and sing, but after a few   
pints we were up there singing like buggery.                    
                                                                
But first we shall start at the start of the night!!            
                                                                
L.A., BNR and I met up with a few friends in the pub and quickly
got a drink.  Then more people we knew came in, this made our   
little party not so little.  Infact there was about 20 of us    
packed into the pub.  When another of our mates came in (he had 
just finished working) we put his name up without him knowing to
sing 'Yellow Submarine' by The Beatles!!!  When the DJ called   
him up for the song he didn't seem very pleased but yet still   
went up and sang it!!!  He was up there looking very pissed off,
infact you have and never will see anyone more pissed off in all
your life!!!  When he came back to the table he had a go at us  
all and told us to watch our backs (Ooohhh hard man!!).         
                                                                
The night carried on and much drinking was done.  Then we       
decided that we would sing!!!  So we had a look at what was     
available to sing and picked out 'Three Little Pigs' by Green   
Jello!!  We also were put down for 2 other songs but more of    
that later.                                                     
                                                                
You have to know that most of the people in the pub had never   
heard of the song  Three Little Pigs well only L.A., BNR and I  
were the only people in the whole pub who had heard of the      
song!!!                                                         
                                                                
After about 10 - 20 minutes waiting for us to be called up, we  
finally got called.  'Bogie, L.A. and errm Brainless oh sorry   
BRAIN-ERRRRR for 'The 3 Little Pigs' requested the DJ across the
P.A. System.  'Yeah' came a roar from our friends.  This was our
big moment.  Our 3 odd minutes of glory.  3 minutes of pure     
madness!!!                                                      
                                                                
We pushed our way through the crowds of people to the front and 
picked up our microphones.  Then everything went quite (well at 
least I thought it had!) and we stared at the screen.  The video
started and the intro bit of the song started. 'Come on, Come on
I wanna fucking sing' I was thinking. The the first 2 lines     
popped up on the screen. This was it. We started the song well!!
"Well the first little piggy, well he was kinda hicky", we      
belched out, very slurred.  The song continued causing the odd  
person or 2 to laugh.  It felt like I had sung this song        
thousands of times, but this was best I had ever sung it!!!     
After the song had finished we felt fucking amazing, it was a   
real 'High'!  All Bogie could say was 'That song is funky' or   
'That song is fucking well amazing'.                            
                                                                
As soon as we sat down a few of the female friends who were in  
our little 'Posse' said 'do ya wanna sing another song?'.       
Straight away we all said 'YEAH!!'.  The girls put us down 2    
sing 'Y.M.C.A.'.  We couldn't fucking wait!!!!!!                
                                                                
While we were waiting we smoked many fags and had more to drink.
When we were called up for our song we all jumped out feeling   
really excited to show ourselfs up angain!!!  We got up there   
and I had to check my microphone was working so shouted 'Blurgh'
done it, and it was working!!!  L.A. and I had the microphones  
and BNR and Beeb (one of our mates) were doing the actions      
behind us!!!  When the music started L.A. and I started to bop  
to it!!!  Then came the words and we screamed them down the     
microphones incredibly loudly and still our singing was         
slurred!!!  While L.A. and I were singing the other two made    
feeble attempts to do the actions, which is easier said than    
done after many drinks of lager, vodka and cider!!  When the    
song had finished we bowed to our cheering 'posse' and sat back 
down to drink and smoke!!!                                      
                                                                
After a while we got called up again, we got called up by the   
name 'The Kingsfield Posse' because this is the school we all   
go/went to.  The song we were singing was 'You are the one I    
want' you know the one, that one from Grease!!!  Well when we   
were up there, Me, L.A., BNR, Beeb and Fiona (A girl!) I        
grabbed one of the microphones, I was going to be heard!!!  This
song must had sounded really shit because we were all really    
pissed and I kept getting confused and singing when I shouldn't 
of!!!  I was singing the whole song and not just the male part  
of it!!!                                                        
                                                                
All in all the night was a very entertaining evening and we are 
going to go next week aswell.  The night was rounded off by me  
nicking 2 beer mats and a funky Foster's ashtray!!!  Now lets   
see if L.A. has anymore to say!!!                               
                                                                
L.A.!!!  C'Mon everyone shout!  L.A.!!!!!  L.A.!!!!!  L.A.!!!!! 
                                                                
What the fuck do ya want???  I've got sweet F.A. to add to this 
article so go fuck a penguin, or have a big juicey tongue up the
back passage. Thank you and FUCK YOU.                          
Can these two really sing??????