Guest texts - Found on the Internet: Apocalypse, or a world without herring.

----------
Track: blOOd iN mOtiOn bY Fatal Snipe   
By:      
----------                              
    Apocalypse, or a world without herring     
                                        
                                        
It all started with a small misunderstanding.
No one imagined that simple
the action of one of the teenagers will cause
pan-Baltic economic crisis,
global epidemic and many others
catastrophic for the planet
consequences.   And just this: the guy from
Peter threw a bag of
herring.                                
                                        
Nobody noticed how it happened. Even
the guy himself didn’t see it in this simple
something unusual is happening.  Threw it away and
I forgot.   For interested questions
parents and friends, he answered that
“I just didn’t like the herring.”     
                                        
A day later his parents noticed
itself this strangeness.  Boy's father
threw three kilograms of herring into the trash
bucket.  Mother bought three more kilograms,
butby the will of fate they ended up in
trash can. Every other day all the herring is in
filled the trash can at home.                 
                                        
The mother realized that something was wrong and began
hide this fish from the fat-haters.
At night, at three o'clock, she got up and
quietly fried fish on a silent
frying pan  Without finishing it all, she left
part on the stove. In the morning the remains turned out to be
in a known location under the sink.        
                                        
In a week, all the trash cans in the city
were full of fresh fish. Began
calls to medical institutions. People
threw trash cans onto
herring sellers. Fishermen instead of buckets with
they carried garbage bags to catch herring with water
tanks.   The summoned ones rushed around the city
relatives of the ambulance,
those who took abortions to special hospitals
herring  At the first examinations in such
an unknown virus was discovered.
A new infectious disease one of the doctors
psychoneurological dispensary? 2001 exactly
dubbed "salacophobia".                 
                                        
A day later there were no more dispensaries
grab   Yesterday those who treated salacophobes
doctors came home and were frantic
they threw canned herring in oil,
salted herring and Latvian sprat in
tomato "salakas".   Four stores
"Ocean" weredestroyed, and all
the herring in them was
sent to pre-brought
Moroders take trash cans with them...    
                                        
The disease has swept through Europe since
mind-blowing speed.  In Poland
three salacophobic groups were formed
terrorist groups: "Antisalaka",
"Death salakam!" and "Salaka Verboten!" B
Czech Republic battalion of salakophobes "Smrt"
salake!"   captured Prague Castle.  B
Britain's squads of salakophobes "No Salaks!"
began unauthorized fishing in
coast.                              
                                        
Fishing industry in Europe
died. no one wanted to buy herring.
Everyone, at the sight of herring, rushed with
trash cans on the counters, crumbled
they threw all the fish into the trash. In this
they were helped by the already infected police.
Baltic fishermen took to the forests and
big roads, setting up pickets with inscriptions
"Defend the right of herring to be eaten!"
The pickets clashed with gangs of salakophobes,
scouring the coast in search of herring.
                                        
Infected governments took
anti-herbal laws. Herring out of the trash
bucket was considered to have broken the law and
was subject to life imprisonment
trash can.  Bailiffs and
employeessecret services, not previously
infected only because of their
impenetrable dullness (servitude to duty),
they also began to become infected (already after
prescription).                           
                                        
A new “Russian” has appeared on Russian TV
project" - "Everything will work out for us" with
video nearby: fishing - trash can
- herring.  The word "garbage" for the cops
stopped being abusive.  Now they
called "herrings".                    
                                        
Benefit from the current situation
garbage producers felt
buckets.  Production of garbage has begun
buckets with the inscription "for herring". Company
General Motors began producing
self-catching herring trash cans.  "Siemens"
released the sea trash can,
sucking herring.   Admiralty
the shipyard built a prototype
garbage-anti-salak-frigate, with garbage
tanks instead of guns.                    
                                        
Instead of banal football, hockey and
other games, new ones have arrived: herring-basket
(throw the herring in the trash), salabol
(kick the herring into the bucket lying with your foot
horizontally) and salokkey (throw
frozen herring in the trash long
scoop).                                
                                        
Remained uninfectedonly
Greenpeace people. Their little boats were scurrying around
across the Baltic and punched through garbage cans, and
at the same time, salacophobes. Instead of paint on
Greenpeace came up with a stamp on
back herring "SPRAT" or "ANCHOWE"
MARINE".  It didn't stop for long
salacophobes.   The government sent
punitive squads and issued a law on
equating Greenpeace members to herring.    
                                        
In response to this, the greens created detachments
self-defense "Forward herring, you and I."
In clashes with the police and
Salacophobes they suffered heavy losses,
but they spread more and more widely.            
                                        
Salaka became scarce. People came
infuriated by the “salach withdrawal”.
ICN Farmaceuticals has released
artificial herring for throwing into
trash can.   This stopped the beginning
herring riots.                          
                                        
Governments have benefited from
the current situation and released new
Criminal laws.   The highest measure there
was considered equivalent to herring. This
solved the problem of shortage of vital
important fish.                            
                                        
When the green ones realized that herring was coming soon
may disappear from the face of the earth, they
several couples were taken outfish in recently
built bunker under the Himalayas for
conservation.  There they were inaccessible
salacophobes.                            
                                        
There was a shortage of herring in the seas of the world.
The world has plunged into chaos.  There were fishermen
exempt from all taxes and laws,
they were ordered to catch herring. So the world
lasted another month.  But suddenly
it turned out that the herring had completely disappeared.
Equated to herrings also disappeared
Greenpeace people (they disappeared into the Himalayas).
The world was struck by the most severe withdrawal. During
more than three quarters of it were killed
population.  The rest of the quarter is in three
day I got up and looked at
devastated world...                     
                                        
Three hundred years later, humanity
divided into two races: green
little men and people.  Little green men
lived under the Himalayas and cultivated
sacred fish Sa-ak.    People
made attempts to capture Sa-ak and
put it in the policeman's thigh.  By
ancient legend, it would give people
greatest happiness...