Guest texts - X-mus presents: The King and the Jester.

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Track: k!Ss+mE -+ h! fЧnZz +- ;)        
By: Mm    
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 Вот  весь  бред,  который я счел нужным
предоставить к общему лицезрению:       
                                        
                 * * * A long story by Andrey Knyazev.    
                PROLOGUE                  
                                        
 The gun was not loaded, but Gimbid still
held it in front of him equally.           
 “It’s not loaded,” with a grin.
Kuras said.                       
 -Sometimes grenades explode without a fuse,
- Gimbid answered confidently.               
 “Then shoot me,” said Kuras. 
 -I'll shoot you, but not here and not
now.  Now I have nowhere to hide
your corpse, besides, your wife is visiting today
for dinner he cooks chicken in garlic sauce,
and I'm anxiously awaiting my return
home.                                  
 Having said this, Gimbid thrust the pistol into
pocket and went outside. He took out his
notepad and wrote my name.             
 -"G" will be replaced by "K", added to "I"
tail, "EM" will be shortened, "B" will be converted to
"A" and what do we get? "Kulaid." Wrong.
"G" will be instead of "I", and "I" after "G" and
Finally, let's end with the letter "N". "Kulagin"!
Just what you need!                           
                                        
           PART 1. CHAPTER 1.            
                                        
 The morning was surprisingly bright. Andrey
Kulagin opened his eyes and hit his fist with his fist.
to the place where it should have been
girlfriend.-She disappeared again before the eighth stick!, -
he said angrily. Andrey jumped off
bed and asked himself if he was in a good place
I was in a good mood and decided that I was in a good mood.
Having gone through all the details of yesterday in my head
day he remembered his decision to inflict
visit to the dirty businessman and trader
drugs to Seribey Kuzmets. Detective n
threw on his leather jacket and jumped out
over the threshold.  The motorcycle roared and it raced
Kulagin to the outskirts of the city to the lair
criminal.  He didn't know what was behind him
surveillance has been established.                     
                                        
               CHAPTER 2.                 
                                        
 Halfway there the motorcycle stalled for some reason.
Andrey reached into the engine.  The engine was smoking.
Kulagin accidentally turned around and noticed
a car standing in the middle of the road, and
roadside in the bushes of a man hiding.
Andrey pretended to piss, but he
ran along the ditch towards the stranger.
He crept up behind him and grabbed him by the
collar                                
 -What are you doing here?  - menacing
asked the detective.  The stranger tried
cover your face with a hat, but shrill
Kulagin's gaze immediately recognized
agent of the secret group Eduard Popov
S.N. Popov squeaked innocently: “I am a herbarium
assembling."-Oh, how's that? Well, show me what you've collected!
grunted the goblin.                         
 “I dropped it out of surprise,” he replied.
Popov.                                  
 -I know you were watching me, - seriously
Kulagin said and led the agent to
the road.  -Now go back to yours
boss and tell him you're an ass.           
 Andrey returned to his motorcycle,
I wiped the dust off the engine, and the cart started up.
On a small green hill stood
magnificent villa. This is exactly the place
which the detective was driving to.   Around
red poppy fields stretched out.
Andrey wiped the sweat from his helmet and
went to the merchant's residence
drugs.   The door was not locked.
Tapping your fingers on the door frame Kulagin
appeared on the threshold.  Dressy Spanish
the furniture set immediately attracted
the attention of an experienced detective with grace and
refinement of finishing.     Cutting
Andrey found several sofas in
one narcotic powder.  "On this
If he can’t get away with it,” exclaimed Kulagin and
looked around. The owner of the house is not
it was. Approaching the window he noticed a man
working in the field.  “So!” exclaimed
Andrey ran out into the street.  Fast
covering the distance he was approaching
to a person.   "Aha! Kuzmets!" - shouted
Kulagin is still from far away "I told you that
I'll get you!"  SeribeyKuzmets
turned around and looked sternly at the detective.  
 -Now I have a lot of evidence and
evidence that will help imprison
you look about twenty years old. -enthusiastically
Andrei shouted.                       
 -What do you want, bloodhound, in my fields?
- Kuzmets said rudely.                  
 -I want to buy poppy seeds from you
straws, you sell them, don’t you?
Did you think I wouldn't know where you live? You
I was wrong!  Kuras laid out everything to me, before
the way I shot him.                
 -Well, what next?                     
 -Next you will tell me everything about everyone who
in the same party with you.                
 -You are sure?                            
 -The police will be here today. I'm coming
compromise, and you hand over everyone to me, and I
I'll give you time to get out of town to
damn mother.                        
 -Ah, Kulagin!   Your naive soul.
Do you really think that you will leave here?
alive?  You made a mistake by coming here.
The police have already been here, but they haven't
want to contact me. You know
who is standing above me? You sniffed me out and
you will die like a dog. Having said this Kuzmets
fell into the ground. Andrey rushed for
him and saw an underground passage. Jumping down
Kulagin found himself in a long tunnel
lined with brick. The tunnel stretched along
towards the villa.  Kulagin pulled out
gun and fired a shotinto the darkness. From
deep down the corridor a piercing sound was heard
scream. The detective lit a lantern and walked along
the tunnel illuminating the road ahead.
Finally he saw Kuzmets lying by the
walls.    Andrey turned the body over and
cried out in surprise.  It wasn't
Kuzmets.   The detective spat and ran off
forward.   Soon in the depths of the corridor
a gap appeared.  Suddenly Kulagin's leg
failed, and he found himself lying on
earth.  Immediately, right above him, he heard
there was a crash and gravel began to fall from above.
Andrei jumped to the side, and on his
a huge basalt rock collapsed
stove  Kulagin didn’t have time to catch his breath
when a terrifying sound was heard behind him
grinding.   A ball the size of a circle
the tunnel was rolling straight towards the detective.        
                                        
                *****                   
                                        
 Andrey Knyazev
                                        
 SHURA BALUNOV is very soft to the touch, and
all because there is a lot of it in childhood
carried in their hands.                           
                                        
 When a CUSTOMER gets a cold
he is treated with watermelon pulp.            
                                        
 YASHA will not improvemood while he
will not taste minced jellyfish.            
                                        
 POT looks at those magazines for a long time,
where on the cover there is a picture of someone
idiot.                                  
                                        
 PASHA was never told that he had earflaps,
although he has earflaps.                           
                                        
 YASHA often gets angry because when he
worked in a kindergarten, he was kicked out for
sucker's treatment of children.           
                                        
 SHURA BALUNOV takes care of the cleanliness of his
faces.   For this purpose he even grew
long hair like a pig's.          
                                        
 THE LIANT has seen enough films about Mary
Popkins doesn't take it off after that
women's underwear.                 
                                        
 POT considers himself a wayward guy,
although if you take it by the handle, you can
make you do anything.        
                                        
 YASHA does not go to the toilet without his mother.        
                                        
 Before the concert 04/03/99 Pavel
Sazhinov (sound engineer) said: “I drank,
That's why I'm not responsible for the sound."  (That
Naturally it was a joke).                
                                        
 It was after the concert in Gorbushka. Anamely, in the evening, when all the musicians
were tired and arrived at the hotel.  Then
The following scene was marked by the bear:
It’s unknown where, but suddenly in the corridor
Baloo appeared carrying the door frame...
Approaching the door of his room, he
leaned him against the wall and said: "You
You'll stand here!" Probably the one still
It's been standing there for a while now.                          
                                        
 They ask Andrey Knyazev, looking at him
glasses: “Do you have such a disadvantage?” "No, I have
such a PLUS!"                            
                                        
 Finally it was found out why Lieutenant
really Lieutenant... He is losing
into cards and remains with PAGONAS!!!        
                                        
 It was in Moscow.  Yasha sits...Eats
corn... And so thoughtfully
remarks: "Yesterday's can of corn
sounded different..."                  
                                        
 1. Two punks meet...            
 One asks:                        
 - Did you hear the King and the Jester?                 
 -  CERTAINLY!  "The ball is spinning, spinning, spinning
blue!"                               
                                        
 2. The prince was walking down the street.  Suddenly he's under
a pot of flowers fell on his feet... "From
the fans are running away,” thought the Prince.3. Lieutenant Rzhevsky moved from Rzhevka
...Now he is just a Lieutenant.           
                                        
 4. Yasha comes one late evening
home, goes into the dark entrance, and there
three gloomy big men surrounded him and
They say: “Get your boots!”               
                                        
 ANECDOTE FROM Yasha Tsvirkunov             
 Friends come to the bassist's house... And he
chases the child all over the apartment with
shouting "I'll kill you bastard!"   Well people
asks: “Why are you pestering the child?”
Bassist: "AND HE BROKE MY STRING! AND NOT
SAYS WHAT!!!"                       
                                        
 Favorite joke from the King and the Clown group.
About Shar Pei.                             
 There are Shar Pei and Boxer dogs
such...). Boxer boasts:           
 "Do you see the hole in my ear? That's me on
last week with a shepherd over a bone
grappled.  Well, I did it!!! Do you see
me a scratch on my back? This is me for three days
I didn’t share a bitch with a bulldog back... Well
I did it!!!  Do you see my nose?
bitten?   This is me with a wolf in the forest
met... Well, I killed him!!!"       
 Shar Pei has difficulty collecting everything with his paws
his folds on his head... And he answers:
"Do you see the hole? It's my ASS!!!"      
                                        
 The most true story.               
 Somehowgoing through old papers. Andrey
Knyazev came across an unusual
envelope. All crumpled, it lay on the very
bottom of the table.   Opening the envelope, Andrey
I found a strange manuscript, for some reason
written in his handwriting.  The Prince himself is not
remembers that he once did something like that
wrote.  It would be a big mistake not to
publish because printed on paper
the true story of the group King and the Clown:  
                                        
 "This was back in the days when everyone
people were hares and fell from space
icy pots with wonderful
drinks.  Several bug-eyed hares
leaned over one of these pots and,
melted the frozen drink and tried it
him.   "This is exactly what I want
eat," exclaimed one. "I want to be able to
prepare this drink,” added another.
“And I want to be Potty!” smiled the third
hare                                   
 In a few million years all these
hares, one after another, had happiness
to be born again, but nature endowed them
other forms. Now they looked like this
a ball, an oval and four sticks. Memories
about the wonderful drink was preserved in their
transformed minds.  And they began
strive to realize your secrets
wishes..."                             
 Then the story ends... At
several sheets are impossible to readat least one letter. Но, к счастью, не
все   листы   время   смогло  попортить,
осталась  пара довольно-таки разборчивых
экземпляров:                            
 "Князев  Андрей появился на свет в одну
из   февральских  ночей  под  созвездием
Водолея.  Всё  это  время  он  улыбался.
Впоследствии он это намертво забыл.     
 Когда  на  небе  затряс  гривой грозный
лев,      подхватив     его     рычание,
материализовался  Михаил  Горшенёв и был
таков.                                  
 В   тот   же   период  началась  судьба
Александра  Балунова, который барахтался
между  двух  степеней  существования. Он
мог стать приматом...                   
 В     одном    из    цехов    какого-то
полуразрушенного   завода   с  конвейера
сошла    последняя   партия   черномазых
пупсиков, но один из них внезапно ожил и
более не помирал. Он назывался Щигалёвым
Александром.  Далее  все  те,  о  ком  в
данный   момент  идёт  речь,  длительное
время  ползали,  пищали, писались, затем
учились  ходить,  разговаривать, читать,
писать,    а   также,   вынуждены   были
воспитываться,  наказываться и не делать
что-либо,  что очень хотелось бы делать,
но  это нельзя было делать, лишь потому,
что  это не устраивало тех, кто когда-то
не  имел  счастья отведать удивительного
напитка.                                
 Но   когда   все  они  встретились,  то
появилась   реальнаяopportunity for
bringing their ideas and projects to life,
who by that time had already begun
to form.   Collaborative creativity
united them and more and more big ones opened up
opportunities for development someday
the idea contained in them.  Formed
the team was named KING AND
JOKE.    And the cart moved!" Trying
clarify the contents of A. Knyazev’s manuscript
M. Gorshenev added something to it:       
 "I remember with pleasure these old
times. Sometimes you run, yell, jump,
you wave your arms, you drown in the swamp,
talking to the dead is fun, but
the main thing is interesting... And also, somehow,
relatively recently, to our point
three people dragged Yasha in. Yasha has a problem with
movement.  Everyone says he's not
can walk because he has weak
legs, but I don’t think so. At Yasha's
on the contrary, the legs are strong!  But he doesn't walk
because his legs are too
POINTED..." This is absolutely
TRUE story about the group King and Jester 
                                        
 A brief history of the group "King and the Clown"  
                                        
 The original composition of the group "KING AND
Jester":                                   
 Mikhail Gorshenev - "POT"               
 Alexander Balunov - "BALU"              
 Alexander Shchigolev - "PORUTCHIK"          
 Andrey Knyazev- "PRINCE"                 
                                        
 The group was formed in 1988, and in
1990 the name appeared. In 1991-92
at Mikhail's semi-professional studio
Kolchugin were the first to be recorded
several songs - "Dead Woman",
"The Hunter", "The King and the Fool", "In the Valley"
swamps".  In the same year the first
aired on the radio in the Anatoly program
Gunitsky.   In 1994 it was recorded
small-circulation unofficial album "Be
at home, traveler." This option is numbered
is not.   First performance at
took place in public in 1992 at the school
rhythm of Igor Golubev in the old building
rock club on Rubenstein 13.             
 1993 - First performance in
St. Petersburg club "Tam-Tam" by Seva Gakkel,
as well as in the Moscow club "Sexton
FOZD".  The group has a new director
Dmitry Zhuravlev "Noisy".              
 From 1993 to 1997 "The King and the Clown"
performed at St. Petersburg clubs "Tam-Tam",
"Territory", "Mountain", "Ten", "Sawmill",
"Rock=club", "Art-clinic" and others.     
 In 1995 he came to "The King and the Clown"
Yakov Tsvirkunov as guitarist.
He became a part of the squad.                   
 In 1996, a half-hour filmed
program about "The King and the Clown", which
aired several times
Channel 5.  Natasha helped with this
Krusanova and her film crewgroup.  From
transmissions appeared in four low-budget
video for the song "Fool and Lightning",
"Sudden Head", "Gardener",
"Shadows wander."                        
 The first one was published in 1996
numbered album "A Stone on the Head",
recorded at Melodiya studio. In this
and next year "The King and the Clown"
took part in the festival at
"Petrovsky" "Let's fill the sky with kindness"
which was organized by Yuri Shevchuk and the "theater
DDT."  The group also took to the stage
"Yubileiny" and DK Gorbunov playing on
festivals with groups such as "TOY
DOLLS", "THE STRANGLERS", "EXPLOITED".  
 1997 was the year of release of the second
album entitled "The King and the Clown".
The album consisted of those songs that
were included in “Make yourself at home, traveler!”, but
were recorded better (in 2000
year the album was returned
original name). in autumn           
 1997 was invited to the group
sound engineer - Pavel Sazhinov "P.Sound". 
 In 1998, at the Melodiya studio there was
Another "Acoustic album" has been recorded
which differed in sound from the previous ones
and was considered a joke. Accepted in the recording
participation singer Marina Kapuro, Maria
Bessonova, as well as Maria Nefedova
(violin), which after recording became
play with the group.    Summer 1998
wonderfulSt. Petersburg director
Boris Dedenev and his film crew
The group shot their first real video
to the song "The Men Ate Meat."             
 On February 20, 1999 the group first gathered
Sports Palace "Yubileiny" in St. Petersburg.
The concert was organized by the company
"SP-concert."   In 1999 "Acoustic"
album" was released on "ORT Records".
Then a new one appeared in the group
director Alexander Gordeev (group "Different
people").   Published in 1999
concert album "Men Ate Meat"
recorded at the Spartak club at
with the assistance of Panker (Igor Gudkov) and
Alexei Dega, nicknamed "fearless".
A video version of this was also released at the same time.
concert. From the materials of this concert and
concert at the Yubileiny Palace of Culture on October 10
1999 a video for the song was made
"Hunter".                              
 In 2000, another
album "Heroes and Villains".  In a group
new guitarist Alexander appeared
Leontyev "Renegade" previously used
as a session musician. Who
was a member of the group at different times:   
 Shurik Vasiliev "VASYA" - bass,            
 Dimka Ryabchenko "Ryabchik" - bass,           
 Grisha Kuzmin - bass,                   
 Lyosha Gorshenev - drums.              
 List of bands that influenced
creativity of "The King and the Jester": ALICE, CINEMA,
AUCTION, OBJECT OF JOKE,ZOO,
AQUARIUM, THE BREMEN MUSICIANS - A TALE.
 And also:                              
 SEX PISTOLS, THE CLASH, RAMONES, DEAD
KENNEDIS, IGGI POP, METALLICA, AC/DC,
DREAM THEATER, NINA HAGEN, EXPLOITED,
THE POGUES, J.M.K.I., PIXIES, THE
STRANGLERS, SISTERS OF MERCY, SIOUXSIE
AND THE BANCHEES, DAVID BOWIE, BILLY
IDOL, BLONDIE, THE CURE, THE BEATLES,
THE DOORS, THERAPY?, MARILLION, A-HA,
DEPECHE MODE, TOM WAITS, U-2, STRAY
CATS, BAD RELIGION, NOFX, ROLLING
STONES, FIGHTERS, GREEN DAY, OFFSPRING,
HIM, BOB MARLEY, TOM PETTY, REM, FAITH
NO MORE, RED HOT CHILLI PEPPERS,
BLOODHOUND GANG, MINISTRY.              
 Writers:                              
 Gogol N.V., Ark. and Bor. Strugatsky, M.
Boo group has a new director
Alexander Gordeev (group "Different
people" liars, A. Belyaev, A. Tyurin, Gustav
Meyrink, Edgar Poe, Howard F. Loughcraft,
Ray Bradbury, Robert Howard, Robert
Sheckley, Harry Harrison, Arthur Conandoyle,
W.K.Stevenson, Alexandre Dumas, Jules
Verne, Aldous Huxley, Stanislaw Lem,
Stanislaf Grof, Carlos Castaneda,
A.S. Pushkin and many others.