Deja Vu #05
31 мая 1998
  Юмор  

Seven and 1 / 2 - Safety Instructions for sex.

<b>Seven and 1 / 2</b> - Safety Instructions for sex.
SoundTrack: SECTOR / SERIOUS SPECCY GROUP'98
__________________________________________


Edition: Dan!! L / PGC / BD

         Ze Pagan / PGC / BD
__________________________________________



  Safety Instructions for sex

The instruction is based on the "Rules
Sexual Safety approved Gosseksnadzorom.


            1. GENERAL PROVISIONS


   1.1 To Safer Sex (voluptuous
Daily Complete Session) is allowed
males at least 18 years of age and females under 75 years 
(re-certification is performed once a year, a commission under 
the chairmanship of chief editor of "AIDS-info"). 

   1.2 The session involved no less than
two people.

   1.3 to safe sex are allowed persons who have passed an AIDS 
or who have certificate of deposit thereof.



         2. BEFORE THE SESSION



   2.1 Obtain permission partner (partner, partners).

   02.02 Check availability and serviceability of the bodies 
involved in safe sex, and PPE. In the case of

fault detection to fix it
to safer sex, not to pursue.

   2.3 Inspect the retention mechanism of PPE.


            3. During the session



   3.1 Contain the bodies involved in safe sex, clean and tidy.

   3.2 Searching the erogenous zones to produce a
strict compliance with international decisions on human rights, 
without prejudice to the honor and dignity of the partner 
(partner or partners).


   3.3 is strictly prohibited:
- Use by artisanal means of individual protection;
- To use fuses that were in
use;
- Remove safety devices to
end time;
- Sleep during the session.


          4. AT THE END OF SESSION



   4.1 Remove PPE.

   4.2 tidy surroundings.

   4.3 Report the partner (partner, partners) on the end of the 
session. 


          5. EMERGENCIES



   5.1 to emergency situations include:
a) the unwillingness of one partner to enter
contact;
b) the inconsistency of partners;
c) use of alcohol and tobacco use during the session;
d) the defects of personal protective equipment;
e) the injury of at least one of the partners.


     6. Responding to emergencies


   6.1 According items 5.1 (a, b, c, d) to replace the partner 
(partner, partners). 

   6.2 With respect to items 5.1 (d) stop the session and
replace fuses.

-----------------------------------------********* 
********************************* 
----------------------------------------- 


        Glossary

        ------------------------

Fork - garbage in a coaxial cable
Chatter - an increase of the amplitude on the screen

          ostsilografa
Chips - forks
KRENDELYAN - curve
ZIGZUG - zigzag line
Krivulya - Sine
SHTUKENTSIYA - garbage
HILATA - a weak signal (pulse)
VYSKOKI - a sharp increase in short-term
          tude
Bagel - modulated signal
ASTSILO EARL - (in the first word of the emphasis on I)

              - Ostsilograf
Inductive reactance - inductive with
                           resistance
THINGS - Products
Spike - (accent on the 2 nd S) - see vyskoki
Combs - a sequence of pulses



         Dictionary of Russian (?) Words

         ----------------------

2.3 Phrases - unlimited number of tech
            hundred
Byaka - no good deed
ZHUCHILO (accent on the "I") - a bad man
                           century
OPPUZYRITSYA - ruptured
Boxes - mouth
FEET - hand
Finite - end
Pal - an official appeal to the student
KATA PEN - seek victim
HITROMUDRO - abstrusely
ZAKAVYRKA - any difficulty
Ugly - ugly
PEREKOCHUYUT - move
Disappointing - disappointing
STIRATELNY DEVICE - rag
To lie down a minute - to carve out a minute
LITTLE MATYUTECHKA - a small paragraph
RASSKVARSHCHALIS - talking
MALYUHONKAYA - small
Bay - talk
Byaka ZAKALYAKA biting - a bad man
OBCHEKRYZHILI - cut
Set aside hee-hee - stop laughing
Set aside blah-blah - stop talking
P-P-Pb - enough to shout
Trailing RUCHECHKI - put pen
HIHITUNCHIK Napa - laughter sneaks
GRAFULNICHEK - schedule
ZALEPUSHECHKI - rump students
COMRADES GIRLS - girl students
SIMPATULECHKA - neat
BOLTOLOGIYA - material passed
Runner - Statement achievement



           Peel of one, two,

      once all tov.prepodavateley

      ----------------------------

 If you do not know, we remember.
 Nerves of iron, like a rope.
 Even a large screen than it was three ...
 I have a sore throat to scream!
 I was with both of you cheated. (Reference to
15 students)
 The best land - it is water.
 Sit up straight all the both of you! Once again I'll sit - go 
there to sit!  Up to the part.

 Not be employed youth
persons.
 Rukovitsy are used to burr you
was not.
 I find some scapegoat, and all
- Pay your money.
 Jackets all the output.
 Forbidden to carry balloons on hand
shoulders.
 Start to say ...
 It is somewhere in the general - yes.
 That is why plants are fading?
 Relations of production change, so the economic laws can not
identical.
 Wanted to clarify the 5 or 4 you set, and
set 3.
 ... Question razvivatelno know.
 Light is on - we cheerfully.
 As soon as I tell you now ...
 If so, it is not so.
 I have already come, and even start talking!
 First, know the rules, and then stroete
graphics.
 Free here!
 Let's go without a go.
 You are here or coming?
 Who is not going to listen to me, I will
continue!
 Even my name is not recorded, to go!
 All the best students in our way here.
 ... Reduces sebistoimost products and service to improve it.
 I do not see the futility of continuing our conversation!
 Voronkov, how are you Ilchenko and Kashchenko ...
 They are here, so to speak here.
 Each will receive tickets.
 This does not apply to you, too.
 When I checked your reference, I marvel
was given to that capable of the Russian language. You
there is a painted ...
 Nearly far ...
 ... The same graph paper as in a notebook. The same blue 
drawing paper.  ... Seven segments, forming a figure eight, and

ninth segment - a comma.
 Any, passing near the line begins
affect each other.
 Came two both.
 Better to put a figure rather than the intersection
was.
 ... To save money on a rug under the door.
 With all jumped somewhere jumped ...?
 ... It's like the hip joint
in watermelon.
 ... No effect outside can disrupt the progress of the real 
programmy.V life situation is not acceptable, because No events 
outside the system can not break the sequence of its work.  The 
signal we are currently served by our processor.  If you think 
that everything else will reach, you can go to the cafeteria.

 ... Three registers - A and B.
 Mitten opened his - in the battery take.
 Tremendous such a key.
 ... And you hid under the stove, sofa, moreover,
besides, repainted it, dotted and
pipe brought under the floor.

  ... Spinning, as the planer.


                 Erotica

                 ------

 We will not now change rest.
 Gennady Nikolaevich said he was with You
alive not slezet.
 Long you'll be entertained with a chair?
 85 group did not give what could give.


          Student crusts

          --------------------

 You do raskozlili.
 I shop at the corner.
 Phony war - a war in which
are participating country.
 If you kill me, you will lose big
loss.
 Goggles, gloves, gown, the hair is not hanging.
 He is in the amount of breast three times just wider.
 It all summer you will be tortured, but still bring to the 
white handles.  Remember when the corpse was shot ...

 The left hand must be equal rights.
 The rest we said.
 I choked back the eraser.
 Igor, you have no binary leaf?
 When the nose is heated, the two electrodes in the uterus is 
wrapped ...  ... Rascheplyaetsya in the chips.

 ... Stupid to stupidity.
 Hands accidentally got out.
 I zaginayus from barley coffee from acorns.
 What did you handle abuse?
 Legs abut could not bed wider
do.
 Blanket short - legs abut.
 Not up old chap. (Do not take bribes)
 That all the shaking? Earthquake or something?
Or window open?
 This is the same, but different things.
 Prices are not dropped, and rose.
 Located where the hell up.
 My back to my lay.
 What have you sat myself in my chair?
 Eyes sat pecking.
 A lot of money. Almost another two key will suffice.
 I brought the book to him, and he is a fool.
 I am pleased with myself.
 Forty-eight to forty vosmyu zero toe.


   "Crocodile" - "purposely did not invent"

   -----------------------------------


  "Comrades, who goes to the skull - pass to you soon end!"

  (Announcement of nurses in the clinic)


  "For Sale half pig in vivo
form ... "(From the announcement)


  "Shop takes a commission-qualified
to implement ... carpets and rugs
of crystal. "(newspaper advertisement)


  "So, based on five years of observations showed that on a 
square meter of forested area inhabited simultaneously from 200 
to 400 crows. " 

  (The newspaper "Lenin's banner," Mosk. Reg.)



       MLP Tajik SSR

       Knitting Factory


         Dushanbe, 40 years old

       Tajikistan, 123


     ----------------------

     Trousers, shorts for children

     Part Number 251317

     Bust - 72 (36)

                                (Price List)



  "The plant has a training center where the workers do not 
have a specialty, can receive a trade turner, miller, grinder, 
women formovschitsy etc." 

       (From advertisement)


  "A shirt, jacket, tuck in pants into boots or socks."

   (From a leaflet "Beware of tick bite)


  "Colorado potato beetle - a small insect length of 12.8 
centimeters. 

     (The newspaper "North Star")


  "My mother did not naradiya children. Do not hurts
Faith Danilovna soul for them, because it
gave them my soul. "(From the essay)


  "All of the attendant-laying hens, snesshim more
hundred eggs come into the office at lunch to take pictures on 
the board. "(Announcement) 


  "Citizens who buy the tickets for the ride. In the Line of 
Control is working. Rear floor, lively wiggle their heels 
"(Announcement of the bus driver) 


  "Stewed cabbage"

     (From the menu, the dining room)


  "Boar dead, because hryachnik census.

              (From the Act)


  "Bureau of information on employment of the population 
invited to work in the Osh office of the Institute" Kirgiz 
promproekt "civil engineer for the post of chief designer of 
Civil Engineers. 

    (Newspaper "Leninist way, Osh)


  "In an attempt to commit theft arrested
gr. Crook. "(From the Act)


  "I reported that a move to higher
stretch rode on a horse, harnessed to the sled man. "(From the 
report) 



     Factory plastic fittings

  g, Cherepovets, Red Army Street, 54

       phone: 2-62-07, 2-73-60

  ----------------------------------
  BUTTONS ROGOKOPYTNYE plastics (label)



               ADMISSION cripples

              on razmozhenie

       is from 8:15 to 9:30

           and from 13:00 to 14:00



  "December 23.
For you, the officers' wives!
1. Lecture.
2. Art movie "How to become a man"


  "Citizens!

  In connection with the repair of water mains in
House, January 23 will not light. Store
hot water. "


  "Comrades!

  In view of the repair men shower 13/XII-71 city
closes. All the men go into the second half of the women's 
souls. " 


  Exemptions heart on a chain, the heart can be seen
teeth marks. "

   (From the transcript of a survey of the medallion)


  "Neighbors systematically poison me with their
goat, why come to my vegetation
deplorable state "(from statement)


  "Recently they have scored a new career victory - went on the 
10-mile line to nadoyu milk from a cow. "


      (Newspaper "Rural nov)


  "You are allowed to live even one day. Following this I can 
not help you."  (Warning: hotel manager)



  "Valuables and money turn in banschitse.
For lost things banschitsa not responding. "

           (Advertisement)


  "Canning mushrooms, garlic, I remind once again, very 
dangerous! Therefore, we strongly recommend that rolled into 
banks Pour mushrooms into a saucepan, boil for 45 minutes and 
pull down the drain. " 

      (The newspaper "Grozny office)


  "Citizens!
Take care of garbage disposal, it is your house where you live! 
"(Announcement) 


  "Jellied beef with horseradish appetizer"

     (From a restaurant menu "Kama)


  "Patients at 7 am to bury all!"

    (Announcement in Ophthalmology)



        16-22 13h, 17h, 19h, 21h


           PASSWORD DID TWO


             16-18 11h, 15h


         Captain at Fifteen


              19-22 11h, 15h


              OLD HOTTABYCH



  "Lamb roast pork natural"

              (From the menu)


  "Harness and otpryazhka hoofed carts. (From the dress)


  "So, over 6 months now without moving statement tenants N12 
replacement through cracks in the master ZHKO Indyukova.


            (Representation)


  "Please give me 20 rubles in honor of wages." (From the 
statement) 


  "The central warehouse has reinforced concrete
about 20 cubic meters., unattended, lying in a heap.
Remains of the superintendent BURMAKINA. "(From the Act)


  "The cost of spare parts to repair
household appliances and hours collected from
clients received by the warehouse on the invoice. "

              (From the Act)


  "It is interesting that the language of whale length about
thirty feet and weighing about twenty
tons, weighs 4,000 kilograms. "

     (Newspaper "Caucasian health resort)


  "Rusakov AI July 1, 1981 went to
work. In the park near the plant to him something horrible in 
the eyes. He went to a health center. In the health center at 
Rusakov AI nothing found. July 2, AI Rusakov turned

to the clinic, where they found a foreign
body and was given sick leave. "(From the Act)


  "This is a nurse who knows how to do everything
- So speaks of Sannikova chief nurse at the hospital, Anna A. 
Igrina. - She is so called - the sister of a wide profile. Take 
the patient - will bring to the end. " 

    (Newspaper "Nefteyugansky worker")


  Plate. Tourists!

  20.VI poizvoditsya linen. Even
changing rooms with odd. Administration. "(The ad on the hostel)


  "I'll start with some positive examples. After a critical 
article," The whole village a pig, "published in" Kalinin truth 
", chairman of the kolkhoz" activist "BA Protchenko was always 
help in the acquisition of collective farmers and pigs feed. As 
a result, the number of pigs in private farms that farm workers

in the past year has doubled. "

      (Newspaper "Kalinin truth")


  "On the basis of liquefied natural gas established team of 
anglers." 

       (The newspaper "Lenin's words)


  "The Commission GAI, being drunk, stripped the driver's 
license for a period of to 5 years and fined drivers Chulkin VE 
of rayselhoztehniki, Tutykina SA with Shlakovskoy depot.


          (Newspaper "Leninist")


  "In 1979, scheduled in the calculation of each cow commercial 
herd to get 108 calves. After reading these lines, some may

to doubt the reality of what was said, and experts and 
milkmaids "Sunrise" this figure considered minimal. " 

      (The newspaper Orlovskaya Pravda)


  "Diary of agricultural work.

  According to operative data of the agriculture department 
executive committee, on the morning of 19 March to the 
wintering grounds of public livestock farming area brought up 
56 211 tons of manure (70% to the job). "


       (The newspaper "The Banner of the Homeland")


  "The first were presented with a certificate of
childbirth Arcadia Gavrilovich and Galina Aneurolepidium, whose 
family born twin daughters, Irina and Marina,

Oksana, Natalya, Tatiana, Julia, Alexander,
Dmitry, Dennis Roman, Eugene-wonderful
names were kids. "

        (Newspaper "Kama nov)


  Club of voters at the cannery and
did not cease their work. If there are dog lovers clubs and 
women ... "(Newspaper" Michurinskaya true ") 


  "I bring to your attention that Comrade. Gelanenko VA issued 
a seine: Number of 1 unit for fishing in length 88 meters. "


           (From the notice)


  "Comrades, man!

  Be brave, push women
the cabin! "

    (Request a crowded bus)


  "We raised this question point-blank and turned around its 
axis." 

             (From the speech)


  "With regard to my looks, he says,
that the facility PMK-21, someone called and
said: "What Fyokla you sent me?".
I'm sure no one at my
could not tell. I act on objects
politely, as expected.

  Yuri Pavlovich himself coined the word
"Thekla" to humiliate and finally me
kill morale. And he got his, I have
exactly one week can not look at myself in the
mirror, not to think that I Thekla.
 (From the explanatory memorandum assistant san
  physician)

"In the men's salons will give you courage." (Advertising 
hairdressing) 


  "Who's seen a goat with a flaky side,
with one horn, please inform the following address:
st. Labor, Building 11. If this man, then
get a bottle! If a woman is that she
wish. Goat they call Maria Ivanovna,
color black. Soon to be farrowed.

            (Advertisement)


  "Hairstyles of the names" Sessun "," Garson "
"Hope" are almost identical, differing only backwards. "(In a 
barber shop) 


  "Shilov, a true fighter for justice,
openly going to any compromises in reaching the truth. "

      (The newspaper "Soviet Armavir)


  "Winners!" Urgently also will appear near the podium for the 
ceremony. Not in a muzzle and not the form will not be 
rewarded. " 

  Plate. Participants! Carefully wipe the muzzle from the 
saliva to facilitate dental examination system.

 (Advertisements for the exhibition of dogs)


  "Plan for the Elimination of staff's office at
case of fire. "


  "Duck clean ... With a knife, gently separate the meat from 
the guests ...". 

      (The newspaper "The Banner of Communism)


  "The Palace of Culture" Metallurgist "holds

              February 7

  Small Hall. University of the future newlyweds. "On the 
essence and beauty of relationships future spouses. "


              February 8

  A large hall. In the 19 hours 30 minutes - "My
wife - a liar "in the formulation of the Udmurt
musical theater. "

   (Newspaper Advertising Week of Udmurtia)


  "Rent vremyanka. Courtyard pavement, water supply, the owner 
does not drink and other comforts." (From advertisement) 


  "Due to the departure of a cow is sold with a stroller M-62.


  "The cars on the list wagonload.

  Shipping Name: Sleeper new nepropitaya, length 2.75 m ".


  "For the poor control of the installation wizard
Mukhina NV reduce electrical shop in April
month by 20%. "(From the Order)


  "Girl with beef feet, go to
the counter. "(Voice barmaid)


  "Announcements.

  On May 8, Bath will be a mutual (male and
female). "


  "The evidence is not murder." A screen adaptation of the 
novel by R. Bartsch Man on the hill. "(Sputnik moviegoers)



  'Wash, bathe in a bath purchased at the box office ticket is 
allowed no more than one hour. " (Announcement in the bath) 


  "Dear comrades, the passengers!" Please do not
litter, do not smoke, do not lie on sofas,
Use the automatic camera store. "

   (Announcement of the station Radio)


  "Delivery people on the exhibition and sale."

      (From the reference to the route sheet)


  "For Sale apiary and bee-keeper-inventory."

             (From advertisement)


  "Feeding a calf house standing near walls,
and feed the calves have to ask a
ass. "(From speech)


  "The chief of department of Polunin

    EXPLANATORY

  I have not worked 14 to 17 November 1878,
because I went with a friend in the village Kremenkul, climbed 
with him in the cellar with Braga and could not get out there 
four days. " 


  "As a result, the full payment for
the resulting offspring, and its safety with seven cheoovek 
(four calves 2 months of age and three calves in the age of one 
month). "(From the act of revision) 



    Friendly guys

      with jam


      0 p. Since 2006 (Price list in the store)



  Traktor he's always on the go: an extra
just do not smoke, do not sit down, check whether all
properly. "(The newspaper" Dawn of Communism)


  "From 12 to 17 October this year in the dash
is shooting students on a rolling basis. "(Announcement)


  "For Sale stone house for firewood"

             (Advertisement)


  "... After all, people - like the battery. They must
each other warm. "

           (From a radio broadcast)


  "Eat and get out of myself."

  (Announcement in the dining room)


  "Went to work table. At the kiosk will be
after three hours. "(Stallman Announcement)


  "Deputy Director point to poor organization on the timely 
organization of accidents in ZHKO. "(Of Order)


 puzzled.
The door is too narrow, some of our furniture is not
climbs. Threw the cabinet, sideboard, desk. Do not worry, buy 
new ones. Sofa managed to push through, but found a strange 
thing: as soon as I him sit down, the lights go out around the 
home. Also have to be replaced. Sorry, very place a sofa, now 
there are not released. 

   The bathroom was occupied by the ingenious device. A 
neighbor said that he needed for predicting earthquakes. The 
device looks like a box in which sat two evil snakes with 
sensors on the tail. In my opinion, poisonous. That the wife 
could use the bathroom, had to pull the apparatus into the 
garbage disposal. A neighbor said he did the same. 

   The kitchen at the stove huge niche with a badly
smeary inscription: "noR kItsneN somvINe.
Begin to suspect that a house designed
not for our area. We have earthquakes do not happen.

   In general, one can live. The only bad thing that
bath flow and not the phone work. TV shows only one program: the
some indications that the Indian.





Other articles:

Aperativchik - On the new shell magazine.

Aperativchik - Joining the authors.

Topic - DIGITAL sound like it is (a player. Wav files).

Topic - Project recovery and development stage.

Topic - The association's AMAZING SOFT MAKING.

Topic - Theory zhurnalostroeniya.

drop of solder - GENERAL SOUND: PLUG & PLAY.

drop of solder - Professional audio processing on a PC.

SOFTWARE - On updates from Samara: MAX SOFT SCREEN PACKER v1.4, Miner, FILE COMMANDER v4.04, SLIDE SHOW, WALKER demo, S-LIGHT BBS, S-TERMINAL v1.0 , LOGO.SYS (for PC).

SOFTWARE - Description prohodilka game "Operation RR"

SOFTWARE - New demoscene: HAPPY NEW 1998 YEAR, BURDENSOME, DREAM, CONDEMED, CONFUSION.

CODING - Procedures: FULL SCREEN SCROLL UP, broken TV.

CODING - Using a stack interrupt enable.

CODING - On the packer MS-PACK.

CODING - Kodit want - Inference Procedure sprites without attributes, quick and versatile procedure for the withdrawal of sprites, the procedure for multiplication and calculate the square root.

ANOTHER WORLD - Multimedia - a synthesis of three elements.

ANOTHER WORLD - AMIGA vs PC.

Hall of Fame - An Interview with PROGRESS.

Hall of Fame - The group ETERNITY INDUSTRY.

Hall of Fame - On the international festival ART COMP-98.

Hall of Fame - determination made in the demoscene and Spectrum.

Hall of Fame - Use the mouse in magazines and other software (for Krivorukov coders).

Hall of Fame - a way to convert tricolor images for Spectrum.

Hall of Fame - Is this the rulez Amiga? HRC for ptsshnikov and Spectrum for spektrumistov?

Seven and 1 / 2 - Army marasmus.

Seven and 1 / 2 - Programming from the bottom up to iskosok.

Seven and 1 / 2 - Safety Instructions for sex.

Seven and 1 / 2 - Features a national ruleza.

Seven and 1 / 2 - Report from the hangouts and Kemerovo spektrumistov sohdateley Journal Deja vu.

attempt at writing - Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh part 2.

attempt at writing - Fantasy and Science Fiction.

Advertising - Advertisements and announcements ...

News - a new magazine AMIGA RULES.


Темы: Игры, Программное обеспечение, Пресса, Аппаратное обеспечение, Сеть, Демосцена, Люди, Программирование

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