ZX-Preview - test: what do you know about Speccy?

 TESTS:              
                                          
(C) Funeral                               
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 TECT 1                    
                                          
 WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT SPECCY            
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 1.Technical characteristics of the first     
 Specky:                                  
                                          
 a. 16 kB RAM,3.5 MHZ                     
                                          
 b. 128 kB RAM,3.5 MHZ,FDD,TR-DOS         
                                          
 c. 330 MHZ, MMX, 64 MB RAM, 24x CD-ROM, WIN- 
DOWS (MD),MS-DOS (MD)...                  
                                          
__________________________________________
                                          
 2.The glory of Copperlegs is:                  
a.Author of the game "Black Raven"              
                                          
 b.Author of the novel "White Stork"              
                                          
 c. Backing vocalist of "Corrosion Metal"         
                                          
__________________________________________
                                          
 3. Authors of the demo program "HALLUCINATIONS  
IN TNE OPERA"they did not call it the word "DEMO",
a:                                        
                                          
 a.Synopsia                               
                                          
 b.Asphyxia                               
                                          
 c.Menstruation                            
                                          
__________________________________________
                                          
 4. In the game program "Black Raven", people
fight against:                         
                                          
 A. Kungov                                 
                                          
 b.Pankovin.Ctubehob Kings                        
                                          
__________________________________________
                                          
 5.Bill Gilbert usually did:         
                                          
 A.Hacking                               
                                          
 b.Cakuhrom                               
                                          
 c.Onanaizing and masturbation          
                                          
__________________________________________
                                          
 6. The ZX-REVIEW magazine was dedicated to:         
                                          
 a. Spectrum problems                    
                                          
 b.Saving Liberians from flooding 
                                          
 c.Studying the causes of complex 
owls Oedipus and Electra in adolescents 13-14    
years                                      
                                          
__________________________________________
 7. One of the members of VVG is called:            
                                          
 a.ROM Corp                               
                                          
 b.REM`S Corpse                           
                                          
 V.Dupanov Alexander                      
                                          
__________________________________________
                                          
 8. The author of the STS debugger monitor is:   
                                          
 a.STALKER                                
                                          
 b.PALKER                                 
                                          
 V. Macaulay Culkin                         
                                          
__________________________________________
                                          
 9. Electronic   
magazine:                                   
                                          
 a.DEJA VU                                
                                          
 b.SUPER EGOc. "Bulletin of Oligophrenic"                   
                                          
__________________________________________
                                          
 10. The main enemy of all Sinclairists:       
                                          
 a.Bill Gates                             
                                          
 b.Dean Koontz                               
                                          
 c. John Wayne                              
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 SCORING:              
                                          
 Consider it as you wish.                     
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
 TECT 2                  
                                          
 DO YOU LOVE ANIMALS?         
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 1. In your opinion, a dog is:                
                                          
 a.Man's friend;                         
                                          
 b. The watchman's friend;                          
                                          
 c. Food eater.                  
__________________________________________
                                          
 2.Which TV show will you watch?
 what preference?                         
                                          
 a."In the animal world";                     
                                          
 b.Documentary film "Bedbugs in your home"
 me";                                     
                                          
 c. Thriller "Young Flayers".               
__________________________________________
                                          
 3. Do you like the way the cricket “sings”?    
                                          
 a.O, yes! My favorite pastime is wandering but-
walk around the cemetery and listen to the crickets;       
                                          
 b. I’ll catch this cricket - raise its paws -  
I'm pulling!                                 
__________________________________________
                                          
 4. What would you do to your four-legged 
friend, if they found out that he ate him alive 
chicken?                                   
                                          
 a. It depends on whose chicken is mine or the neighbor’s; 
                                          
 b. I would explain to him that it’s not wrong to do that 
gray;                                     
                                          
 c. I would knock out all his teeth.             
__________________________________________
                                          
 5. Your beloved wife brought home ma-
 lazy tiger cub:                       
                                          
 a. You leave home without waiting for   
the tiger cub will grow up and bite your head off;  
                                          
 b.In revenge, bring home a little one  
crocodile__________________________________________
                                          
 6. Could you bite a buffalo?           
                                          
 a.Yes, if he deserves it;              
                                          
 b.What am I, a monster?                          
                                          
__________________________________________
                                          
 7. You were lightly bitten by your neighbor's Doberman: 
                                          
 a. You drop a brick on your neighbor’s head;    
                                          
 b. Reproachfully threaten the Doberman with him -
bitten finger;                         
                                          
 c. Calm yourself down with the thought that 
baka is man's friend.                     
__________________________________________
                                          
 ANSWERS:                                 
                                          
 a) - 1 POINT                                          
 b) - 2 POINTS                       
                                          
 c) - 3 POINTS                       
                                          
                                          
  Calculate your points. If you are  
took from 0 to 6 points, it means you are crazy   
love animals, they find shelter in your home  
stray cats and dogs, you constantly come
bring turtles, hedgehogs, wild boars into the house,
cobras and elephants.                            
                                          
  If you haven’t brought them yet, bring them 
sieve! If you score more than 6 points, you know 
cheat animals you don’t love enough yet,  
immediately switch your attention from    
women, football and vodka for "our brothers"  
smaller ones."                                 
                                          
                                          
┌---------------------------------------┐
├════════════════════ ════════════════════┤
└---------------------------------------┘
                                          
 TECT FOR DETERMINING IQ          
(Especially for Idiotors.)       
                                          
                                          
╔═════════════ ═══════════════════════════╗
║ ║
║ Choose a word that does not match  ║
║  value to the rest:  ║
║ ║
╚════════════════════ ════════════════════╝
                                          
 - 1 -                      
                                          
 a.Idiot b.Cretin             
                                          
 v. Moron g. Oligophren          
                                          
 d.Hacker e.Truck           
                                          
 - 2 -                      
                                          
 a.Death b.Death             
                                          
 c.Blood c.Torture              
                                          
 d.WINDOWS`95 f.Stool - 3 -                      
                                          
 a. Stupidity b. Nonsense               
                                          
 c. Idiocy Mr. Nonsense             
                                          
 d.IS-DOS e.Second stool   
                                          
 - 4 -                      
                                          
 a.Bastard b.Goat              
                                          
 v. Gad g. Padla              
                                          
 d.Bill Gates e.Video cassette       
                                          
 - 5 -                      
                                          
 a.Quality b.Coolness           
                                          
 v.RULEZ g.Good thing       
                                          
 e.ZX-Spectrum e.PENTIUM II         
                                          
                                          
╔═════════════ ═══════════════════════════╗
║ ║
║  Answer the question  ║
║ ║
╚════════════════════ ════════════════════╝
                                          
  - 1 -                    
                                          
 Who destroyed the Chukhon village in 1714?  
rhubarb on Vasilyevsky Island St. Petersburg
Burga?                                    
                                          
 a) Peter I                                
                                          
 b) State Duma                               
                                          
 c) a pack of wolves                           
                                          
 d) elephant                                  
                                          
 - 2 -                    
                                          
 Professor Preobrazhensky ("Heart of a Dog-
tse" Bulgakov) argued that the devastation is not in 
closets, and...                             
                                          
 a) in newspapersb) in Shvonderax                           
                                          
 c) first vice npembepax               
                                          
 d) in their heads                             
                                          
 - 3 -                    
                                          
 With the sound against which he directed his
step of N.S. Khrushchev at a meeting of the assembly
The UN lei was:                              
                                          
 a) the sound of a shoe hitting the table                 
                                          
 b) whistle                                 
                                          
 c) reprimand                                
                                          
 d) hooting                               
                                          
 - 4 -                   
                                          
 In N. Mikhalkov’s film “The Unfinished Play
for mechanical piano" Oleg Tabakov   
depicts:                               
                                          
 a) the cry of frogs in the swampb) mating cry of deer in the forest            
                                          
 c) dance of the dying swan               
                                          
 d) election speech of the governor of Krasno- 
yarska                                     
                                          
 - 5 -                   
                                          
 Where was A. Nevzorov’s film “Cleansed-
more"?                                      
                                          
 a) at the tuberculosis dispensary at Razliv station     
                                          
 b) in the skin and venereal disease clinic at
    Vosstaniya street (St. Petersburg)                
                                          
 c) in the White House                          
                                          
 d) in Chechnya                               
                                          
 - 6 -                   
                                          
 In the song "Murka" the following is sung:                 
                                          
 a) Rabinovich is a bastardb) Abramovich is a bastard                     
                                          
 c) Makarevich is a bastard                     
                                          
 d) Podgorodetsky - darling                 
                                          
 - 7 -                   
                                          
 4-year-old Italian girl jumped out
from the window, watching on TV:          
                                          
 a) the cartoon "Aladdin", where the travel
or on a magic carpet.                     
                                          
 b) cartoon "Hedgehog in the Fog"            
                                          
 c) "Purgatory"                           
                                          
 d) "Heavenly slow-moving"                    
                                          
 - 8 -                   
                                          
 Lieutenant Columbo's dog's name is:        
                                          
 a) Dog                                   
                                          
 b) Nuchtovychtovysirc) Dzhulbars                             
                                          
 d) Columbo does not have a dog                  
                                          
 - 9 -                   
                                          
What do children think about Milky-Way chocolate bar?
                                          
 a) it doesn’t sting your eyes                   
                                          
 b) it smells delicious of apricots           
                                          
 c) and kills germs                     
                                          
 d) mooo!                               
                                          
╔═════════════ ═══════════════════════════╗
║ ║
║  Guess the riddle.   ║
║ ║
╚════════════════════ ════════════════════╝
                                          
                                          
 1. Not sugar, but white. There are no legs, but he walks. (And ho-
goes well!)                                          
  a.Cocaine                                
                                          
  b.Alcohol                                 
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 2. Small, round, but not by the tail    
you'll catch it.                                 
                                          
  a. Spermatozoon                          
                                          
  b. An excellent student with obesity          
__________________________________________
                                          
 3. I swam in the water, but remained dry.          
                                          
  a.Tampax                               
                                          
  b.Milky Way                             
__________________________________________
                                          
 4. It dies in the evening, but comes back to life in the morning.       
                                          
  a. Alcoholicb. I don’t know                               
__________________________________________
                                          
 5. Not a tailor, but all my life with needles  
dit.                                      
                                          
  a.Addict                              
                                          
  b.Punk with mohawk                       
__________________________________________
                                          
 6. Wrinkled Titus amuses the whole village.   
                                          
  a.Acute shortage of youth in rural areas      
                                          
  b. Chikatilo retired                    
__________________________________________
                                          
 7.Soft, not fluff, green, not grass.       
                                          
  a. Dollar washed by mistake          
                                          
  b.Your option                           
__________________________________________                                          
 8. They have teeth, but they don’t know toothache.     
                                          
  a.Pensioners with false teeth        
                                          
  b.Cockroaches                              
__________________________________________
                                          
 9. Seven children started playing songs along the stairs.
                                          
  a.Hooligans in the entrance                   
                                          
  b. I don’t know who, but if I catch you, I’ll kill you!    
__________________________________________
                                          
 10. Cross-eyed, small in a white fur coat, wearing  
felt boots.                                 
                                          
  a. Chukotka Santa Claus                   
                                          
  b.Indian in Siberia                       
__________________________________________
                                          
 11. Twelvebrothers one after another
guys, they don’t bypass each other.                
                                          
  a.Active recreation in a pre-trial detention center                 
                                          
  b.Blue group sex with incest         
__________________________________________
                                          
 12. Many craftsmen built a hut without corners.
                                          
  a. Brigade of limiters                    
                                          
  b. Cross-eyed builders                  
__________________________________________
                                          
 13. Which horse plows the ground but doesn’t eat the hay? 
                                          
  a.Stupid                                
                                          
  b. With indigestion                 
__________________________________________
                                          
 14. Stone below, stone above, four legs
yes one head.                           
a. A concrete slab fell on a citizen from  
crutches                                 
                                          
  b.Execution of a dangerous mutant                
__________________________________________
                                          
 15. There is water all around, but drinking is a problem.        
                                          
  a. Closed kiosk                        
                                          
  b.Public toilet                   
__________________________________________
                                          
 16. It’s empty, the voice is thick, the beat- 
Yes, it helps me walk.                       
                                          
  a. Escort                               
                                          
  b. Physical education teacher           
__________________________________________
                                          
 17. No arms, no legs, jump like a woman!         
                                          
  a.Climaxb.Disabled pervert                    
__________________________________________
                                          
 18. The field is not measured, the sheep are not counted, the shepherd 
horned                                    
                                          
  A. Mess on the collective farm                      
                                          
  b.Madhouse left for agricultural work        
__________________________________________
                                          
 19. What, barely touched, turns into smoke
firewood?                                    
                                          
  a. The ensign steals logs              
                                          
  b.Inflation ate the “wooden” ruble     
__________________________________________
                                          
 20. The living castle grumbled, lay down at the door
rec. Two medals on the chest. It’s better not to enter the house
go.                                     
                                          
  a. Drunk veteran                        
                                          
  b. Conscriptlooks like a psycho             
__________________________________________
                                          
 21. The duck is in the water, and the tail is on the mountain.          
                                          
  a.Duck hunting with a grenade       
                                          
  b. Actions of a bestiality maniac              
__________________________________________
                                          
 22. No one scares, but he trembles           
                                          
  a.Dildo                         
                                          
  b. Nervous tic                           
__________________________________________
                                          
                                          
 FORMULA FOR CALCULATING IQ         
                                          
┌--------┬-----------------------------┐
│ GIVEN: │ SOLUTION: │
├--------┼-------------------------------┘
│ X=POINTS │                                
│ │ IQ=1/2 * COS 90° * (X/3+X/5) =>
├--------┤ => according to the theory of intelligence
│ IQ=?  │ idiots => 1/2 * 0 * (X/3+X/5)=
└--------┘ = 0 - for any X.           
 a.Dildo                         
                                          
  b. Nervous tic                           
__________________________________________
                                          
                                          
 FORMULA FOR CALCULATING IQ         
                                          
┌--------┬-----------------------------┐
│ GIVEN: │ SOLUTION: │
├--------┼-------------------------------┘
│ X=POINTS │                                
│ │ IQ=1/2 * COS 90° * (X/3+X/5) =>
├--------┤ => according to the theory of intelligence
│ IQ=?  │ idiots => 1/2 * 0 * (X/3+X/5)=
└--------┘ = 0 - for any X.           
                                          
                               Ответ: IQ=0