Lamerzland - Do you also want to release some kind of electronic publication? And you don't have any ideas? Well, then you've come to the right place.

                                          
 FOR TRUE LAMERZ ONLY !!!    
                                          
(C) Krueger/Delirium Tremens              
__________________________________________
                                          
                                      
 Cheers, my friend! Do you like our jour-
cash? Do you also want to release something?
electronic edition? And you don't have any
ideas? Well, then you've come to the right place. We are
We can issue youournewspaper. Save
this text is in the file (point the arrow at
save text icon and click on
"fire"), using  TEXT MAKER trails
leaf through and distribute the resulting pro-
product among his friends. So, go ahead!    
                                          
                                          
                                          
 CLUDE            
                                          
 CooLesT NeWsPapER 4zX sPecTruM &    
             То!LeT Uz!Ng...              
                                          
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
                                          
                                          
                .-_+ fRoM eDItOrs +_-.                          
                                          
(C) 3eLeBobA/Lamer Group                  
                                          
   Hello, dear readers of this
the coolest supernewspaper for the computer
ZXSPECTRUM and toilet. Today we will present
We provide you with a set of super useful texts,
filled with super cool pseudo-graphics. A
Now you will take a closer look at the content
our today's super-cool but-
measure.                                     
                                          
 1. GAMES:                              
 How to play Tetris correctly.         
                                          
 2. Slaughter:                               
 Super carbon anicdod, which I personally
selected from my collection.               
                                          
 3. CODING:                             
 Screen coloring.                      
                                          
 4. OVERVIEW:                              
 A brief overview of symbol printing procedures. 
                                          
 5. ADVERTISING:                            
Advertising of our creatine group PIDERS
INC.                                      
                                          
 6. HARDWARE:                             
 How to properly unscrew the screws of a camu-
tera.                                     
                                          
 7. PROJECT                              
 Project to save the stage at paganyx co-
diraph.                                    
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
 -==|GAMES|==-           
                                          
(C) ZeLeB0ba                              
                                          
 HOW TO PLAY TETRIS CORRECTLY.    
                                          
   You all probably know this one
a sophisticated game like TETRIS. Personally I
I trudge along it more coolly than on Elite, Black
Crow and this one, well, where about aliens. On
in fact, TETRIS - the most enjoyable game in
world.  So, to pass the first level,
it took me eight years to start again
labor.  And I still cracked it! You, of course-
but you don’t know what the secret of praising is
TETRIS.  After all, even I needed
seven years to understand this, and you probably
Nay, a whole life is not enough. So xbo-
get a pen and paper and write down quickly
my advice.                               
   First of all, you must insert into the dis-
floppy disk drive.  The desktop needs to be fixed
label up.   I would like to say
to the original makers of floppy disks: I don’t care about you
You've been warned!  After all, even such a computer
a genius like me needed two years before
How to understand how to insert a disk. What
talk about ordinary people? You are putting-
the way they are suffering now? But readers
"BLUDES" are now freed from such
problems.  After all, they had already learned about the May opening
digging.                                    
   Now, after you have inserted
floppy disk drive, you must turn the fi-
Gulinka on the disk drive (By the way, our newspaper
announces a competition for the best name for this
figulins.  The main prize is a disc 5`25cru-
the same company IZOT, sengraved at
the help of the nail and the signature of our
steering main idiot ZeLeboby.) Sorry-
those, I digress. So you should turn
Figulinka 90° down. Only then the disk
will be able to boot. I don’t know what it’s all about
lo, but apparently this little thing switches
The drive is in reading mode.                  
   After this step you must log into TR-DOS. U
This happens differently on different computers.
nomu. Take your Campu manual
tera and see how to do it. If you
you do not have instructions, then go to TR-DOS you
You can’t, because it’s very difficult
process where interruptions of the second-
This kind of and premium VG programming.   
   Having entered DOS,you must press the button
pack "R", and then to "ENTER". No more
There is no need to press hard, otherwise it may become pharmaceutical.
rip the disk. If there is a file on the disc
"boot",  then it will boot, otherwise nothing
will happen, and you will break off again -
to warm up.                                   
   When the file is loaded BOOT, you mustselect the TETRIS game there. How to do it
ask the floppy disk dealer. He knows. Yes
Find out what the Tetris file is called.
And then I once downloaded the program, I thought
there is TETRIS, and there are naked women. Then the
I washed my keyboard last day.              
   When Tetris loads, you must select
control. To do this, diligently re-
rewrite the menu and compare it with the instructions for
to your computer. Select the item that
which comes with instructions. If you have
there are no instructions, then you are again cool ablama-
be careful because you won’t know which one you have
there is a joystick. I'm currently experimenting
but in my opinion the joystick "START GAME" has
all computers. In two years I'll probably
I’ll write a treatise on this, and maybe even semi-
I want a Nobil Prize.                    
   After you select the joystick and
start the game, you will see bricks, falling -
pour into a glass. Don't be afraid, the glass won't break
is happening.  And this is where the main secret is hidden
games.  When managing bricks, you must do
make sure they fall in one row! When-
yes, the entire row will be covered with bricks, they
will disappear.  By posting a certain amount
rows, you will see an inscription stating that the
whether the first level. In the next equation,
number of bricks and their cutting speed
will increase. How to work with such fast
I don't know about bricks. Maybeneed some...
it's a hardware set-top box. I hope you are...
now you can pass at least the first level
this rulez game.                       
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
 -==|Slaughter|==-            
                                          
                                          
ANIGDOD                   
                                          
Compiled ь 3EleB0Ba                      
                                          
   I composed this anigdod yesterday, when I
I was ananic while sitting on the toilet:        
                                          
   One man approaches another and wow-
rith:                                      
   - Are you fucking pussy?                    
                                          
   A very funny joke. I laughed all over
hour (two, three, four...).             
                                          
                                          
                                          
 -==|CODING|==-         
                                          
(C) 3EleB0ba                              
                                          
   In our section CODING we will publish
forge the most useful procedures on Basic.
Why on Bazik? And because in the codes you can
Any coder can write, but write
cool program in Basic - very, very
not easy.                                 
                                          
  In our friendly publicationMANDAVOSHwas
A screen coloring method has been published. I when
was small, just like VOSH painted
screen with felt-tip pens, and then switched to
procedureMANDAVOSH.However, it seemed
I don't feel well snotty. And I'm snotty
I tore it at speed. Unfortunately, we increased
its volume was limited, but the procedure became
faster.                                  
                                          
 10 REM KOPIRAJT 3EleB0bA     
   20 LET NUL=1*2/(SQR (4)) -1 30 LET ODIN=1*25б/(1б^2)                 
   40 LET BORDUR=NUL                        
   50 LET BUMAGA=ODIN                       
   55 LET CHERNILA=ODIN                     
   б0 FOR N=0 ТО 21                         
   70 PRINT PAPER BUMAGA; INK CHERNILA;"    
   ": REM "32 PROBELA"                      
   80 NEXT N                                
   90 BORDER BORDUR                                             
   100 PAUSE 0                                                  
                                          
   Как  правильно  написал  в сваей статье
VOШ,   нижние   строчки  экрана  закрасить
нильзя.  Однако, я вспомнил тот старый ме-
тод  с фламастирами. И теперь круто юзаю и
эту  праграмму,  и фламастеры и создаю ру-
лезные реалтайм дефекты.                  
                                          
                                          
 -==|REVIEW|==-          
                                          
 A brief overview of symbol printing procedures.  
                                          
(C) 3elEb0ba                              
                                          
   There are many methods using
cabbage soup which can be displayed on the screen symbol.
The very first one I mastered was to write
on the screen symbol with a felt pen. However, from
this monitor screen gets dirty, and besides
the command does not work on such symbols
CLS.                                      
 There are also complex printing methods
letters on the screen. These are all sorts of steamed pra-
procedures "42 characters per line","fast transfer
message chat", etc. More acceptable
The assembler method is printing with
using the command RST #10. Everything is simpler here.
However, there are some obstacles here too.
So, for example, you need to load into register A
symbol value. But when I asked
these are the movers from the store next door,
they asked me for some word, something
I've never heard of Roy, but when I asked
wherethis, they hurt me painfully.              
   And now, the coolest printing procedure
symbol in Basic.                        
                                          
 10 REM KOPIRAJT 3ELeb0bA                                     
   20 LET A$="A": REM NUZHNYJ SIMWOL                            
   30 LET X=0: LET Y=2                                          
   40 PRINT AT Y, X; A$                                         
   50 PAUSE 0                                                   
                                          
 WaRN!nG:  If you use this pr...
stupid, pay me 10 bucks because
she is sHareWare.                            
                                          
                                          
                                          
 -==|ADVERTISING|==-         
                                          
╔═════════════ ═══════════════════════════╗
║┌---------------------------------------┐║
║│ │║
║│╔▒ ╔═══╗ ╔═╗╔═╗ ╔═══╗ ╔═══╗ ╔═══╗│║
║│║▒ ║▒▒▒║ ║▒║║▒║ ║▒▒▒ ║▒▒▒║ ║▒▒▒ │║
║│║▒ ║▒▒▒║ ║▒║║▒║ ╠═╣▒ ╠═══╝ ╚═══╗│║
║│║▒▒▒▒ ╠═══╣ ║▒╚╝▒║ ║▒▒▒ ║ ╗ ▒▒▒║│║
║│╚════ ║▒▒▒║ ╚ ╝╚═══╝  ╩   ╩  ╚═══╝│║
║│                                      │║
║│         ┌-┐ ┌-┐ ┌-┐ ┌ ┐ ┌-┐          │║
║│         │ ┬ ├-┘ │ │ │ │ ├-┘          │║
║│         └-┘ ┴ ┴ └-┘ └-┘ ┴            │║
║│                                      │║
║│                                      │║
║│                                      │║
║│              (C)  1999               │║
║│                                      │║
║│     ---═══════╦══╦══╦═══════---      │║
║│  -----════════╬══╬══╬════════-----   │║
║│     ---═══════╩══╩══╩═══════---      │║
║└--------------------------------------┘║
╚════════════════════════════════════════╝
                                          
   Креатинная  группа LAMERS GROUP предла-
гает  всем  ламерам  вступить в ее широкие
ряды.                                     
                                          
                                          
   Будучи  членом  нашей  группы вы будете
иметь уникальную возможность:             
                                          
                                          
   - получить  помощь  в написании быстро-
     действующих программ на Базике!      
   - бесплатно   копировать   неработающие
     версии игр на диски `ИЗОТ` при помощи
     суперкрутых  дисковертов `EC` формата
     8 дюймов.                            
   -learn a crash course in clicking
     reset buttons.                        
   - use training once a month for free
     a new cat right in ZElElya's house.
   - buy original English programs
     masters of coding 1982-83 on disks,
 copy-protected method
     nailing and nailing.            
   - qualified to break your computer -
     ter.                                 
   - and much, much more...           
                                          
                                          
                                          
 -==|HARDWARE|==-         
                                          
 How to properly unscrew screws from       
   computer.                            
                                          
 (C) ZeL!b0bA                             
                                          
   Our section "HARDWARE" is dedicated to various op-
parity calls that are not available
to a simple person.  Today we will tell
how to properly remove computer screws
tera.  I've been in my laboratory for two months
studied this problem and came to the conclusion
verycardinal conclusions. So, algo-
rhythm of unscrewing screws (just don’t try-
Try to understand this algorithm. It's available
only for geniuses like me.)               
   First of all, you should take a screwdriver in
right hand and place it on the screw.
If the screwdriver does not fall off, take another
Guiu.  If there is no falling screwdriver, then you can
If you want to throw away your computer - it's impossible
can be unscrewed.  If the screwdriver is found,
then place it on the screw and rotate
about two hours in any direction
(two hours is the optimal time to
Well, will the screw unscrew into this
side).  If the screw does not come out,
turn two more numbers into some
the other side. If he still doesn't at-
is screwed, then your computer is unusable
for use - you can install it on
garbage dump.                                  
   If the screw comes loose, then repeat
Please repeat all the above points with complete
with screws. After that, grab the computer
upper palavinka and remove from the steel. If
the computer fell and broke, this means
that you did everything right. If this is
did not happen, then your computer has
secret screw and it’s impossible to open it at all
possible.                                 
                                          
                                          
 -==|PROJECT|==-          
                                          
 Lately I've started making noise like this
primary trend, like cluttering of special
Ktrumofskaya scene with all sorts of nasty coding
software It is precisely this tendency to sparkle
tions and corrected our project with code
named after "Antikodir".                       
                                          
 1.Goals, design, general design of the project.   
                                          
 The main goal of the project is to spark-
such an unpleasant phenomenon as co-
leadership and increasing the role of lamirism on stage
not. The main task of the project is to improve
monitoring the blog state of the Spectrumof la-
miraf.                                    
                                          
 GENERAL TERMS              
                                          
 1.Wakes up the coordination centers of the project
is a creatine groupLamers Group.     
The main information authority is gozeta
"Dubinushka"                               
                                          
 2.Embossing coding programs wakes up the
izvaditsa with the help of attracting ruleznyh
lamirav (such as VBdZ) to nopi-
sanyu program                            
                                          
 3.Sale of Lamirskava software awakens the existing
shopping through a network of special stores,
which we are going to post on fsex
memory lanes of our homeland.                    
                                          
 4.Sales of desserts to the largest stores
by $100 per piece will help you out a lot
Gadenik, which we are going to ask
to the Lamiraf pregnancy fund. Stores that
no one will buy our deskettes, our
the youthful lamer guard awakens the
calling shop windows shit. And then, at midnight
solutions Vilikay Lamirskaya Rivalutions, we are
Let's rob them and give them the spoils to me.      
                                          
 5.The same applies to beating the coder,
but no matter how much we bought tanks, we have to do this
We won’t. It’s very dangerous.                    
                                          
 6.The sale of Lamirskava software will be drained
stvlyatsa also via mail. You will send
us money (price including shipping, peri-
throws, catches, transitions, flights and transfers
swim) and wait for us to send you the disc.
We’ll send out the abizatil, but we don’t know
them when.                                 
                                          
 7.Lamirs that will give us piles
programs will be awarded to the citizen.
tion in percentages at the sale of the program. (at-
brilliant 0.00001% minus camisoles, bar-
terns, brokerages and producers.)        
                                          
 8.The cast of the disc is near the palagic stone
panovat, for example, on disk number adin y
we have 8 non-working programs in Pamishchi, 2 su-
piergly and 2 throwing.            
                                          
                                          
                                          
 -==|EXIT|==-           
                                          
 For lamers:                           
                                          
 NEW                            
                                          
                                          
   Для остальных:                         
                                          
   XOR A                                  
   LD BC, #7FFD                           
   OUT (C), A                             
   RST 0                                  
                                          
                                          
       ThE END oF oUR rUleZZ NewSpAPEr    
                                          
      V!VaT lAMeRS sOc!aLiST RevOLut!0n   
                                          
                                          
      ЗаВалим лАМеРскИМ сОФтОМ вЕСЬ МиР   
                                          
                                          
 Р.S. Всех кто  поддерживает  проекты SOS,
ASM,SNS просим  не беспокоиться. В разделе
"ПРАEКT"  пародировался  совершенно другой
прожект.                                  
 R.P.S. STAY BRRUTAL FOREVER!!!           
                                          
                  DEATH METAL NEVER DIES!!
 V!VaT lAMeRS sOc!aLiST RevOLut!0n   
                                          
                                          
 LET'S FILL THE WHOLE WORLD WITH LAMER SOFTWARE   
                                          
                                          
 R.S. To everyone who supports SOS projects,
ASM,SNS please don't worry. In the section
"PRAEKT" was parodied in a completely different way
project                                  
                                          
                                          
 R.P.S. STAY BRRUTAL FOREVER!!!           
                                          
                  DEATH METAL NEVER DIES!!
                                          
   FUCK RAP!!!              FUCK POP!!!   
              FUCK DANCES!!!              
                                          
   With the best wishes of hard dying                           
   Jason Krueger of Delirium Tremens