Let's get drunk - army insanity (part 2).

#00C0 Who are we sitting?                       
                                          
#00C1 You still know a lot!         
                                          
                                          
#00C2 If you don't train yourself to work,
 it will be completely bad!         
                                          
#00C3 Quickly report to me about the presence of flow
 personnel!                    
                                          
#00C4 Draw anywhere, just in the center!
                                          
#00C5 So that tomorrow everyone stops like traffic jams
 from the bottle!                        
                                          
#00C6 Before leaving the part, move in two directions:
 is it dangerous, does the garrison need you.
                                          
#00C7  How to wet the bandage if there is no water?
 Think about it!                       
                                          
#00C8 Subjects are not included in the formation
 sprouts under 16 and over 60 years old.   
                                          
                                          
#00C9  Who am I to you: Major of the Soviet Army or
 locomotive whistle at the Kazan railway station -
 le?!                               
                                          
#OOCA  Composition of the combined team: bulldozer,
 compressor, truck crane... #OOCB Our major doesn't like pickles:
 his head can't fit into the jar. 
                                          
#OOCC You sleep in this nightstand, and you say:
 "Not mine" !                          
                                          
#OOCD Trudge like three days!            
                                          
#OOCE Just imagine: a clean field -
 not a bush, not a tree, and suddenly
 a tank comes around the corner!          
                                          
#OOCF You sleep here, and there the Motherland is covered in snow
 enters !                          
                                          
#00D0  What are you doing?girl red? Via
 You will become an officer in a month!            
                                          
#00D1 A soldier is entitled to 20 grams per day
 oils: 15 grams in the morning and 15 in the evening
 rom.                                
                                          
#00D2 What do you think - you are all fools, and I
 one smart one?!                       
                                          
#00D3 When you do so much in life
 as useful as I am, then you will be
 criticize me!                  
                                          
#00D4 Political work in the army is unity
 struggles and opposites. #00D5 You are sitting with a fishing rod on the bank of the river,
 and here is a passer-by with his charter. EU-
 naturally, with common efforts you will be able to
 turn it with your heels back and
 sandalize.                        
                                          
#00D6  Do not smear the fences with grease and waste
 Fuel and lubricants. Don't disgrace the part!              
                                          
#00D7 Teach commanders and foremen to withstand
 repair sequence:         
                                          
        1. Paint it carefully.             
        2. Putty.                     
        3. Pull out any extra nails.         
                                          
#00D8  Don't make fountains, don't raise peacocks -
 new, make the unit combat ready.       
                                          
#00D9  Just look - they'll breed peacocks!
 they will start flitting around, pecking at something
 damn, crap on equipment.          
                                          
#OODA Together with doctors, identify all
 those who cannot be trusted with weapons,
 steering wheel, levers.                       
                                          
#OODB No one goes home with a gun,
 doesn't check on his wife, tea with neighbor
 does not drink.                            
                                          
#OODC The pistol is always carried onstrap,
 so as not to lose it.               
                                          
#OODE All storage facilities must have gates. 
                                          
#OODF In the morning, after lunch, at high
 work days on construction sites
 in masses.                            
                                          
                                          
#00E0 Welcome those who get their hair cut
 naked!                             
                                          
#00E1  Garbage is collected in bins. Mechanize
 cleaning, pulled the lever - everything fell out -
 elk !                              
                                          
#00E2 No one lives outside the barracks - not in
 fire town, nor in the pigsty and
 etc.                                
                                          
#00E3 What destroys a commander? Drunkenness, in
 equality, women. Don't drink, don't party,
 don't steal! If you also work
 come on, fame will find you!      
                                          
#00E4 In military-patriotic education
 writers must play the biggest
 violin.                            
                                          
#00E5 Drinking vodka entails
 death of human victims.#00E6  When the authorities arrive, the commander
 squadrons foaming at the mouth (or not
 foam, it depends on how it
 refers to his official duties
 nos), rushes around the airfield.      
                                          
#00E7 Sports uniform - shorts and slippers.
 Who doesn’t have boots and a T-shirt.        
                                          
#00E8 So you will go to the camps, and your ma-
 The people will weep on my breasts. 
                                          
#00E9  If war starts, I'm already with you
 will not.                           
                                          
#OOEA Feesa lot, my mother fattened me up
 sausages and sour cream!                
                                          
                                          
#OOEB The combat sheet must be combat
 leaf, that's why it's a combat leaf!  
                                          
#OOEC You don’t know what to write about in combat
 sheet?! Two or three small notes
 ribbon, tearing the chest, here
 a naked woman and the inscription: "HUMOR".       
                                          
                                          
#OOED When the "Air raid" signal is
 The division is hidden in the gap. Don't fight-
 be careful, this is not the slot you need
 there's so much missing here. #OOEE  In the Chinese army, along with tactical
 bypass and reach maneuvers
 came up with  one more: leakage
 small  groups of
 million.                           
                                          
#OOEF What was invented was that they created a tank.
                                          
#00F0  And here the current goes on and on... and turns
 is in voltage.                
                                          
#00F1 Poor results, but everything is possible
 there are possibilities for this!            
                                          
#00F2... it includes ...       
                                          
                                          
#00F3  Get really involved and become
 Be human!                 
                                          
#00F4 This gas causes headaches in
 muscles and bones.                    
                                          
#00F5 Why don't you clean up the order?     
                                          
#00F6 You reported to me here, comrade cadet.
                                          
#00F7 And I have the right that he can be like that
 say.                            
                                          
#00F8  Together with him we achieved the best results
tatov.                              
                                          
#00F9  The lieutenant colonel is sitting, and in his eyes
 students are sleeping.                  
                                          
#OOFA  At the command "equal" - rotate
 right head.                      
                                          
#OOFB  Could worse students study better?       
                                          
#OOFC  Not everyone immediately became gods.   
                                          
#OOFD All as one - go cross-country! You can't
 run - crawl, but still walk.   
                                          
#OOFE  Why are you throwing lightning? It’s possible
 andrattle.                        
                                          
#OOFF  As nothing was done here, nothing was done
 was.                               
                                          
#0100  Remove everything around the debris, from the broom -
 I agreed.                   
                                          
#0101  But each of you is an adult
 di!                                 
                                          
#0102 You are not fighting enough
 appearance.                      
                                          
#0103 We must keep our comrades from under-
 the secret actions that go into
 AWOL.                          
                                          
#0104 Tell me how the di-
 green engine.                 
                                          
#0105 You feel too much.        
                                          
#0106 Who is that walking there with a red nose,
 like a cucumber?!                        
                                          
                                          
#0107 Oh, these Americans - the Reagans
 there are all sorts of Thatchers...             
                                          
#0108 In an area exposed to chemical
 mical  weapons, the platoon conducts
 operationon the intercourse of wooden do-
 mov.                                
                                          
                                          
#0109 I didn’t take you to another place yet -
 ron.                               
                                          
#010A The earth rotates around its axis -
 this allows us to measure the time of
 current.                                
                                          
#010B                                     
                                          
 - Comrade   Colonel,  you have a salary
 large?                               
                                          
 - Well, I don’t know... - Well, an order of magnitude more than my scholarship?
                                          
 - Hardly an order of magnitude, but once every fifteen
  - that's for sure.                           
                                          
#010C  We will punish, regardless of
 whether you are a captain or an officer.    
                                          
#010D  Your classes are held on an ad hoc basis
 to the case, epidemically.             
                                          
#010E The measures taken were unsuccessful.
                                          
#010F  And you didn't bat an eye...        
                                          
#0110 You get drunk and crawl around yourself
on all fours!                    
                                          
#0111  Think about your future!         
                                          
#0112 There is garbage all around! There's a whole urn over there
 papers, and no one accepts them
 solutions!                            
                                          
#0113  Pampering with weapons, fellow soldiers -
 you, it hasn’t led to anything yet.     
                                          
#0114  3and its conscientious work team
 dir awarded you.                   
                                          
#0115 Are you unshaven again? But from this
 The Motherland begins.#0116  ... top to bottom ...               
                                          
#0117  ... pandemonium of light ...       
                                          
#0118  Why were we in bad weather again yesterday?
 catfish and walked with an intoxicating gait?     
                                          
#0119  My instructions are not eliminated.       
                                          
#011A The alarm will sound unexpectedly
 at 4 o'clock in the morning.                      
                                          
#011B  Tomorrow we have a runway lesson. Form
 clothes - without weapons.                
                                          
#011C Report the presence of people. Who doesn't that's it, we'll punish him.                  
                                          
                                          
#011D  You would like all the buns, girls and sour cream -
 on.                                 
                                          
#011E What kind of look do you have, comrade cadet?
 Pants are not ironed, shoes are not cleaned,
 unshaven muzzle - like a five-year-old!   
                                          
#011F  Comrade cadet! What kind of boots are you wearing?
 gi? The heels are ground down to the tailbone -
 ka.                                 
                                          
#0120 Are you stupid? Can't remember?
 Then write it down, because I write down
vayu.                                
                                          
#0121  The enemy begins to become active.    
                                          
#0122  Why is your T-shirt open?     
                                          
#0123 Commanders to report the presence of
 absence of personnel.           
                                          
#0124 Where is Ivanov? Are you sick in the infirmary? Who
 allowed?                           
                                          
#0125 Are there people on the course? And the coursework office
 is there a cer?                           
                                          
#0126 The distribution
 niy.                               
                                          
#0127 An American is not over the head with an integral
 hit!                            
                                          
#0128  And how did you come here with
 such knowledge of the CHARTER?               
                                          
#0129 That's why the commander has the head to
 look ahead.                    
                                          
#012A  The machine gun butt should feel
 squeeze your right buttock.           
                                          
                                          
#012B  On the command "PUT WEAPON" - cut
 the butt should touch the left mi-
toe of the right foot.                  
                                          
#012C The operation of the TV is determined by
 next to its inclusion.               
                                          
#012D The "EQUAL" command applies to everyone, and
 not each individually.           
                                          
                                          
#012E  Comrade cadet! Now I will arrest you, and
 You will march to the guardhouse
 chesky watch.                       
                                          
#012F Sing, young friend! Now you will receive
 exactly four and a half outfits.    
                                          
#0130 If you want to be strong, runwant
 be smart - run.                 
                                          
                                          
#0131  Here you will come in 10 years and      
                                 you will say: 
                                          
      "Comrade Senior Lieutenant...".     
                                          
#0132 -"Comrade cadet! Why are you late for
  order?"                          
                                          
       -"I rented out the audience."             
                                          
       -"I'm not interested in this! Why do you
  late for duty?               
                                          
       -"So you are not interested in this."   
                                          
#0133 Comd.  cadet, get off the sidewalk!
 People walk there.                  
                                          
#0134  Duty officer, you have diplomats there in English
 window window  are standing.  Build them at
 walls.                             
                                          
#0135 Let it be elongated, but so that
 it was a circle.                       
                                          
#0136 Bird  with horns  up  means
 "disjunction".                       
                                          
#0137  Valid therecurrent strength, power 5
 volts.                              
                                          
#0138 ...and a high current is passed through them
 voltages.                         
                                          
#0139 If there is a concept in nature
 "plywood", then you will find it.         
                                          
#013A We need to expand the radius of the square.    
                                          
#013B -"Have you been to the bathhouse where there is a shower massage?"
                                          
      -"No... How's that?"               
                                          
                                          
      -"And there the energized water supplies-
 s."#013C This cadet was arrested for 5 days
 arrest.                             
                                          
#013D Dry your hands!                        
                                          
#013E  Who's yawning there? Come over during the break
 - I'll cover my mouth with a band-aid!             
                                          
#013F Wake up, Count! (to the sleeping cadet)
                                          
#0140 Why are you sleeping? On an excursion or what?
                                          
#0141 The test will be passed with an average score of 5.2,
 as agreed.                   
                                          
#0142 When we talk"electrical damage"
 chemical current ", we mean
 naturally, fatal.     
                                          
#0143 Drawing an accident victim.  
                                          
#0144  ...new hair grows very quickly
 zha.                                 
                                          
#0145 The Bratsk hydroelectric power station was closed for repairs,
 or is she having a sanitary day...        
                                          
#0146  Unwritten, long-written rules.
                                          
#0147  Judging by the survey, I see that the seed is bro-
 but not in rocky soil.           
                                          
#0148 Everything I read is some kind of bad moral.
                                          
#0149 Try, as they say, lie
 beat.                             
                                          
#014A  If there were no noise, then there would be no
 and radio operators.                         
                                          
                                          
#014B This comrade! There's something you're not doing today
 joyful.                           
                                          
#014C If someone wants to be standing and on-
 cauldron...                            
                                          
#014D Commodity production - the product is not
 for yourself.                           
                                          
#014E "Seryoga, look, I have a lot in
 sawdust head?                     
                                          
#014F  I noticed long ago what a slob you are
 and parasite. You're just crap and I'm the...
 I'll eat it, you can be sure of it. 
                                          
#0150 I came to you from the glorious Kantemi-
 rovskaya division, and there, how do you like it?
 you know, they don't play fools.          
                                          
#0151 A well-fed horseman is not on foot!            
                                          
#0152  Now I have graduated from my academy,
 I finally got itempty and I'm for it
 I'll take you.                       
                                          
#0153 Zampolit!  Kick this idiot out
 this damn Komsomol!  How not
 Komsomol member? So what - join him, eh
 then kick me out!                       
                                          
#0154 A spoon, comrades, consists of three
 parts: held, scooped and jumpers
                                          
#0155 Night is the period of day between
 black and morning days.        
                                          
#0156 The reorganization affected the division and
 other types of troops. #0157 The face in the  photo must be
 square.                         
                                          
#0158 Why are you lying here, your place is not
 here.                                
                                          
#0159  As soon as the diode opens, the
 Ohm's law does not apply.           
                                          
#015A  The machine works like this: one, two, three
 and you are gone.                         
                                          
#015B  What is a grille? It's metal
 sheet with holes cut in it
 ami. #015C  When you are captured, you will be
 it will take a long time, but it will tell you
 nothing, and not at all because you
 so durable, but you just don’t do anything
 you know.                             
                                          
#015D I am also a defender of the Motherland! In the trenches
 he wasn’t, but he’s talking!           
                                          
#015E The military secret is not what you study
 you think, but the fact is that you are studying it.
                                          
#015F  You must always remember: everything to
 you didn’t do it, you’re doing it wrong
 correct. #0160 Let the number of tanks be equal to "k", no,
 "k" is not enough, let's take "m".              
                                          
#0161  Absent due to illness and others
 family circumstances.           
                                          
#0162 What do you think, the war will come,
 and Major Skercherov will not be there,
 no!                                
                                          
#0163 Now I will make it fun for you and you will
 you feel a stick on your head.  
                                          
#0164 What are you like a rattling cobra - beak
 open and go to sleep.                                           
#0165  Comrade cadet, what kind of uniform do you have?
 like a cow washing with its tongue.        
                                          
#0166  Comrade students! "pi" is irra-
 rational number, otherwise it is equal
 3.14                                
                                          
#0167 This integral is so simple that
 taken without "dx".                   
                                          
#0168 What are you doing with a tripod?! If
 spread all three legs!      
                                          
#0169 We are doing complex mathematics here
 we won't bother - take triple in-
closed contour integrals.      
                                          
#016A I tell you the essence of gravitational force
 I’ll prove it in a couple of minutes of free time
 flight.                               
                                          
                                          
#016B  The car must be washed with hot water, so
 how the stickiness of atoms is reduced.   
                                          
#016C Not every fool can study in school
 the Academy, and I graduated from it.      
                                          
#016D Shows hairstyle: “I have here
 there is nothing, and you should have nothing
 to be. #016E  Collect all the stones and what? - Burn it. 
                                          
#016F Of course, I didn’t graduate from academies, but
 I will give you a higher education!        
                                          
#0170 Buttons must be sewn on
 death is like a barrier!               
                                          
#0171 I know that each of you has
 number of tens of millions.
                                          
                                          
#0172 And don’t be like us
 to the government: "Swan, pike cancer.."
                                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
   ORDER OF THE MINISTRY OF DEFENSE OF THE RF N3.14   
                                          
 1.  To avoid new revolutions, the old
 the army is disbanded on April 1, 1991
 yes.                                   
                                          
 2.  In order to combat hazing in the new
 Army military ranks are introduced: sala-
 ha, junior scoop, senior scoop, sub-pheasant,
 pheasant, grandfather major, grandfather of the military branches,
 grandfather and grandfather of the Soviet Union.
 Senior and junior military ranks of various types
 are classified according to the degree of bubbling of the tights
 tans on their knees.                     
                                          
                                          
             CLOCKCOMMANDER'S            
                                          
       With tooth-proof strap       
             and mortal combat.             
                                          
The clock has 8 hands. Four of them so far
time is called, the rest are spare ones, so that
to confuse  the potential enemy.
The hands are coated with a special compound, bla-
thanks to which they glow in the dark and
serve to blind the enemy. Radiation dose
is sufficient for radiation damage
within a radius of 200 meters. For simplicity, the angle
always between the hour and minute hands
equal to direct.                            
                                          
                                          
All clock gears are made of the most
modern transistors and microcircuits. When
The best raw materials are used in the manufacture of watches.
Pad technologies: explosion welding, riveting
gas, assembly by conveyor. Gold-plated case
The clock base is galvanized with tungsten.           
                                          
The commander's watch is wound with half a turn,
in the northern regions of the country they are accompanied by
There is a special handle for winding in the cold.
If sand gets inside the watch, it
begin to work like sand.           
                                          
In a combat situation, automatically turn on
there is hourly  mechanism  slow
action and the clock starts ticking. In criticism
moment the commander can throw them at
the enemy's side.  At the same time, the built-in
The speaker beeps in a commanding voice: "3a
me! Attack!" In the dark the clock whispers
They say: “Don’t be afraid, I’m with you!”            
                                          
Buy a commander's watch! These will be sa-
Our most pleasant hours in your life!          
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