TIPS
(no, not communists :)
(C) Uzer DE/VooDoo People
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Are these tips smart?
Life has become unbearable. Not to talk to
by whom. There are smart people all around. You'll go outside
and then you come across smart people. Smart on
sits smart and drives smart. All this is
understand and know. Why did this happen?
It's very simple. All these 2000 years of man-
eternity was only occupied with the fact that you
worked and gave advice to new generations
niyam. Still can't stop and
continues to give advice left and right
right. But what is their price?
After the maternity hospital, where no one cares for you
It’s time to be yourself, nanny for us
advises: “Be cultured. Eat with a spoon.
The spoon consists of a hold and a slurp. Take-
I held the spoon and scooped it up with a slurp
food, put it in your mouth. The mouth is the opening
tightness in frontfaces..."
Oh, this nanny. Can't give it all
one piece of advice. You definitely have to give a hundred. A
this makes our life very difficult.
Summary: this advice is not scientific.
Carefree childhood just for the first time
the look seems carefree. In effect
everyone considers it their duty to
give your child advice: “Grow big, don’t
be a noodle." And who - a pasta? It is necessary
speak directly - without hints. The head is fluffy
no from versions. Maybe a pumpkin?
Summary: this advice is dubious.
To several generations of Soviet children
They hammered home the advice: “Be prepared!” So what
did anything good come out of it? Why be
tov? By lunchtime? By night? The authors of this co-
The vets blurted out without thinking properly.
Our children do not need such advice.
Summary: this advice is superfluous.
Food takes uphuman life dominant
Ruling position. But who knows how
eat healthy? Experts advise: "Suck it
paw." Well, some advice. Why suck paw? She
not tasty. And then, whose paw should I suck?
Summary:this advice is crazy.
Professors advise: "Eat water, drink water"
yes. You will always be full." Let him tell
that professor, what kind of water should you drink:
distilled, spring or simply from
under the tap? With his uncertainty the author
simply irritates people.
Summary:this advice is cheeky.
This food advice: “Take a bite, bite it.”
- anyone can be misled. You-
bite something? Will it be delicious? And not for-
Does your stomach hurt afterwards?
Summary: this advice is wrong.
It's not just ordinary people who give advice,
poets - there too: "Adults, do not leave
children alone - fire from them. Children, no
leave itadults alone - children from them."
And what do you want me to do? Hire security?
There won't be enough money. What was I thinking about
poet, only God knows. But not
about the reality of our lives.
Summary: this advice is impractical.
Advisers will not spare anyone. Poor
the students also got it: “Push, Zhora,
resistance - you will be an engineer." You only
imagine what the student is being pushed to do. A
what if he gets hurt?
Summary: this advice is merciless.
You have to completely lose the remnants of your mind,
to advise: “Read between the lines.” A
what to read? It's empty there. Eyes in vain
they fight. And nothing is visible.
Summary: this advice is stupid.
In the life of every person there comes a transition
period of doubt. How to live further? On this
case, smart people advise: “Live so that
the body sang." Good gentlemen, what is thisit turns out? Until now we knew what was singing
one mouth. And we are forced to give up
familiar ideas. It's just un-
importance to our feelings.
Summary: this advice is arrogant.
The life of any person manifests itself in
three main aspects: study, work and play
re. Here are tips on how to play correctly
to the chess player: “Move your horse, there is no age of will.”
know." Ostap Bender played according to these rules
fork and almost lost his life for it.
Summary: this advice is insidious.
Gamblers were luckier. For them
three pieces of advice appeared at once: “There is no move,
walk with diamonds." After this the hair stands up
on end. Where can I get these diamonds?
Summary: this advice is stupid.
“No move, don’t whine.” How is it - "Don't
whist?" What if you really want to? According to what
do you prohibit whistling?Summary: this advice is killer.
"Look at other people's cards, yours are always successful
eat." Comrades! It’s also dishonest - peek-
blow into other people's cards. Dishonest and immoral
but...
Summary: this advice is enemy.
It is difficult to imagine our life without
decisions. There they advise us: “Come in
tomorrow." Tomorrow? And the legs are not official.
Walking back and forth? Where is the meaning?
Summary: this advice is harmful.
We all live in hopes. Everyone has
hope to get rich. And we are advised:
"Keep your pocket wider." How long to keep? A
in winter, what to do? Yes, and a pocket inadvertently
can go along the seam. What if
Do you wear clothes without pockets?
Summary: this advice is oak."Don't flog the hell out of me." What should I flog? Why
is it impossible? This is disrespect for another person.
Summary: this advice is diuretic.
"Don't think about seconds too high." Good
sho, how should you think? Lying down? Squatting
kah?
Summary: this advice is nasty.
"Don't get into trouble." Tell me where I can-
but... The author of the advice himself does not know.
Summary:the advice is ill-conceived.
"Don't poke your nose into someone else's question." How
to be? A man lives among people and must
wives communicate. But they advise him not to do this
bark.
Summary: this advice is boorish.
“Take care of your nerves,” they advise us every day.
the house is within walking distance. How to take care- they don’t say.
Summary: this advice is brainless.
"Don't make a hunchback." Then tell me what
who? The author of the advice himself has no idea.
Summary: this advice is disgusting.
Advisers turned people into test subjects -
new rabbits. But this is not enough for them. In ka-
They chose the moon as their sacrifice. "Moon, you
go beyond the clouds. Luna, you are no longer ours
needed." Do advisers have a conscience? According to
Who has the right to treat ours this way?
satellite?
Summary: this advice is without common sense.
So, all these and other “smart” co-
The vets turned out to be useless. Tell me up-
dear reader, do you know such a person?
century, which such advice would make
happy? No? And no one knows. In
there is no such thing. In nature everything is interconnected
zano. Plus and minus, grief and happiness, smart
advice and humorous ;)Р.S: These tips are taken from the book "Fun-
naya psychology of Efim Reitblight". So
if anyone disagrees with these tips -
please do not contact the editor 8-)
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