STORY OF A DOCTOR = PHONETOLOGIST
CopyrigHt (e) 1999 Alex Axler
-------------------------------------------------------
The idea for this miniature was suggested by
Mr. Sirazhetdinov, why
a big human blessing to him
bo ;)
- Oh! Seryoga! Great! How old, how many
winter!
- Petrovich! Is that you? Haven't seen you before
a thousand years. And you, I see, are in business, what
did he give in? The car is cool, all in versa-
Well, even though he was killed a long time ago...
- Seryoga, everything is in order for me. Okay car.
The family lives in the Canaries, the mistress is there
the same, only in another hotel, a local lover
I bought a three-room apartment. And I'm on
not even the owner of the company. Just like hiring
ny employee. Everyone earns money here - no
go for a swim. The main one is simply no longer
knows where the money goeswhat to do Recently
I ordered the Filipina to stay in the apartment
I was cleaning. It's fashionable now. Only girls
I gave him an erotic massage once.
la, so the main one was so stunned that
He kicked out his bitch wife and now he has a filip-
Pinka is like an official mistress. He told her
I bought a mink coat, so it’s in used
The local walks in 20 degrees of heat.
- Petrovich! Just wait. Don't be a fool. On-
fic I need your main and his middle
Asian. Tell me, what is he doing now?
Certified pohmetologist? Windows,
Is it something you sell plastic to people?
price of rocket engines?
- Seryoga, you won’t believe it. Still working
I work as a pohmetologist.
- Come on! Are the oligarchs hungover?
only? Light and gentle, but for a thousand bucks?
- Nothing like that. You are our main
you know: the head is like a horse, but the thought is
as in Einstein together with Leacock de Bois-
bodhran. He is the first in the country, even in mi-
re, thought of our current specialty
tions.
- Petrovich! Well, damn it, don't be tormented! What are you doing there
they thought that now everyone is well-fed,
Lazy and packed just don’t play around?
- We, Seryoga, are addicted to the Internet -
we're filming. And we code whenever possible,
although this disease is quite severe and
It’s even more difficult to remove from it than from vodka.
- Both-on! How is that?
- WhatDo you know what the Internet is?
- Certainly. I have a son - a maniac-com-
pewter. The phone is now busy at home
Unfortunately, at night a terrible sound spreads through the apartment.
the roar of a steam locomotive and the nightmarish hiccupping sounds
ki: he’s talking to some Aska.
Goes to bed at 6 am. In addition to beer and beer
Gareth doesn't eat or drink anything.
- This, Serge, is Internet addiction.
simility. Our main one was the first to guess
that Internet pohmetology is the science of the future
th. We spent a year developing and finishing
vodka technique, but now we shake hands
horse fruits in the form of various materials
new benefits. Although there are overlays. Some
our doctors themselves become infected from patients.
We withdraw them, of course, for free, but
in which cases - more and more.
- To hell with them, with your doctors. you to me
Better yet, tell me how you do it all?
- There are many different ways. There is a one-time
withdrawal from Internet binge. This is when
we come on call from dad or mom before
my son, we tie him to the bed,
we give him a heavy dose of sleeping pills, and
then we lock the computer. Everything is still possible
cut the telephone wires at home,
Well, their guy will be back in two days
stop and at least rest a little
because of this lousy Internet.
- Cool. How do parents feel about
similar vandalism?
- Cdelight and pleasure. They are the same
we cannot do this, so as not to sweat
maintain contact with the younger generation. This is
everything is arranged like a raid on an apartment
ru: we burst into the door (the keys are for us, of course)
is given in advance), we connect the parents
lei, we produce online pohmetology,
we take away (as if we steal) the installed
amount from the nightstand, we untie the parents
and we head off. Only these masks are woolen
with slits - a terrible muck, because
I get fur in my mouth. But they pay for
this... With a regular raid you will earn less -
she. And no problems with the law. Nerves,
of course, they are more shaken than with al-
coholics. You should have seen these poor fellows -
Internet people: blue face, red ass
Naya, my hands are shaking...
- Yes, really. The idea is really cool.
- Well, these one-time raids are the tenth thing.
We have a whole range of internet codes
roving, devirtualization, painless
withdrawals from IRC and ICQ and all that stuff.
This is where the real money comes in. Week
staying in an anti-Internet boarding house -
2000 bucks. And people pay, and even very
It's really worth it.
- Nevermind! What is this money for?
- What did you think? Our costs are high.
There's nothing electronic or electrical there.
whom. So that it doesn’t remind you of computers.
At first, however, they left all sorts of television
stares and irons, so one nimblefrom iron
The modem was made using the infrared method
transmission of data, the other one is inserted into the TV
I tried to download WindoWs`95. So come-
elk any electronic and electrical
remove items as a class. Of course, enter
let's put ourselves in their position. In the sense that inter-
no-withdrawal - it has a very strong effect on the psyche.
Therefore, we arrange pseudo-Internet sessions.
First a representative man comes out
(Vadimych from intensive care, you know him),
introduces himself to Professor Werner and us
tells jokes to everyone. Then all sorts of
we read news from newspapers, as if emulating
Gazeta.Ru. We work clearly: some
lines in the newspaper are underlined in blue
felt-tip pen, the patient can poke them
a specially prepared stuffed mouse,
after which a special nurse immediately
Gently brings the original article. Even por-
We imitate interesting sites without any problems: on
appears on stage, chic, but dressed
blonde (Lenochka from the buffalo department)
but crazy; we bought it for a huge
new salary), which immediately requires
from each client 20 bucks per section
chanting; Having received the money, she begins to
mother bra with speed one bra in
two hours, and an hour later the elder appears
orderly Volodya (from the Solntsevo lads to
came to us, can you imagine?), which las-
Kovo declares that the process is terminated
by timeout, and whoever wants can get
he's likeserver extended information
niy.
- And what? Do people last a week?
-Where will they go? Some, of course,
they are rowdy, they demand a computer with a modem
chalk, but we quickly send them
the same closet-Volodya, who says,
that will become a provider for them and starts
rummage through pockets. There are even chronicles here
retreat. They're funny guys. Evenings-
We're knocking over the wall, ICQ
depict. But they don't know Morse code,
therefore they transmit data by bytes in knocks
from zero to 255. The word "hello" takes
so many knocks that the walls are
It needs to be repaired once a week. But
the income pays for everything.
- And many were thus removed from addiction -
Bridges?
- Well, no one can be completely cured yet.
succeeded. The disease has practically no cure,
That's why there is always a demand for us. Basic
The main task is to give the body at least some
sometime to take a break from the Internet. Therefore
Parents of children are increasingly ordering
beat the computer and drown the modem in the bathroom.
We are already exhausted. But sometimes there are
real luck. Look, one guy knows
chatted through ICQ with a girl Larisa. Yes
fell in love, was about to get married and even
I bought a wedding T-shirt with the inscription "Send
Soap with zuhel." Parents, of course, are in a panic
ku, ran tous, the company conducted its own
military investigation and found this Larisa,
who turned out to be forty years old fat and
a bald programmer with a callus on his ass.
It was then presented to the happy groom,
who split with his own hands
computer on the bald head of the programmer.
Parents say that the guy has been around for about a month
does not access the Internet. He drinks, really, like
horse, but it is much cheaper to cure.
- Yes, really, Petrovich. You pulled out yours
lucky card. And you don’t have workers there
needed?
- Earrings! You know! I come to you - with everything
soul. But our staff is selected and ho-
well trained. For example, you can
arrange a short circuit for the modem
with a pin, in one short movement
crash the master bootrecord on your hard drive and
patch the browser so that instead of
porn sites showed "Calm but-
Chi, kids"?
- So... Petrovich! How do I know these
passion? I'm not Terminator-Rambo-2. I have
dealing with ordinary, calm, violent alcoholics
Holics. Well, sometimes with a bottle to the head
I'll get it. But for THIS...
- That's what we're talking about. However, you, Sereg, don’t
barter. The chief gathered to open courses
Well, otherwise the percentage of workers who are hooked
too big. Staff turnover is steep.
Okay, just ordinary orderlies. And here we have
there, Volodya in his free time from workstarted designing the Solntsevo Bratva website.
I feel like we're going to lose our guy soon. On
last raid he drowned the modem in the bathroom,
You won’t believe it - I cried like a child. A
We can’t get him out by ordinary means.
Who can handle him? Any provider
will come out of the ground and unlimited
will gain access to the roof. We tried about
appeal to local authority in order to
Volodya act, so authority, for-
times, only by e-mail is now available.
- Hm-yes... Everyone, it turns out, has their own tests -
there are lems. So you, Petrovich, are connected with me
Are you worried about the courses?
- Why not! I promised. Write my e-
mail, ICQ or just send it to an FTP server
letter file. That's it, Serge, I'm off. Chief
in half an hour he gathers everyone in the chat -
do something crazy...
INTERNET ADVICE=POHMETOLOGIST
(C) 1999 Alex Exler WWW.exler.ru
-------------------------------------------------------
Dear friends! Is not for anyone
secret that in our daily life
there are all sorts of very unpleasant dependencies
conditions that greatly influence our
well-being,physical and psychological
some condition. Smoking, alcohol consumption
smelling, sniffing gasoline (and this at that moment,
when there is a shortage of gasoline in the country), simply
watch of Mexican TV series, participation in fi-
nans pyramids, collecting canned food
knives, listening to Lena Zosimo's CDs
howl and much, much more.
But in the last few years, people
quality was faced with a new vice, which
This is called "Internet addiction". On-
to say that the existence of this dependence
symmetry has been hushed up for quite a long time.
Influential Internet providers did
everything to hide from the population
the true scale of the disaster. Those few
doctors who tried to pay attention
humanity to this problem, exposed
faced persecution and threats. In everyone's memory
there remains a case when hired bandits re-
cut the telephone cable in the entrance of one
one of the most famous fighters against
virtualization of the population - Professor Mo-
Demkina
But despite all the machinations of the provider
ditch, more and more new general practitioners are appearing
venniki, who even at the cost of deprivation of acca-
unta are ready to tell humanity about
harms of the Internet, as well as help the unfortunate
for new users to cope with their
kovy addiction.Personally, I, Internet pohmetologist Dialap-
kin, I am a supporter of the soft approach
to overcome Internet addiction. If in
the beginning of the study of this problem methods
Internet coding was simply barbaric
skim (breaking a computer, cutting
telephone wires, brutal immersion
modem to the bathroom), then science has now done
a few giant steps forward
allows you to remove a user from the Internet
without much harm to his psyche.
I have developed a special course,
following which will help you know
significantly reduce the Internet dose each
day, and subsequently even completely refuse-
get rid of this bad habit.
But first, a little theory. So, what
Is the Internet harmful? Its unfavorable
the impact on any user is divided
on several aspects:
1) Physical.
2) Moral.
3) Psychological.
4) Material.5) Family.
Often these aspects are combined between
yourself. Let's try to consider them according to
efficiency and in various combinations. German-
a lot about the physical aspect. Of course
sitting at the computer and monotonous posture
tapping the keys doesn't do any harm
brings. On the contrary, a person develops
strengthening fingers, vision improves and
general tone of the body, because a person
is calm and not busy
no harmful production. But there is
various external influences that
can bring Internet-addicted indi-
vidumumu purely physical or material
harm. What are these impacts? Chiefs,
parents and relatives!
The bosses just can't understand
its employees sit for hours in
Internet for business purposes only.
Firstly, they are enlightened by reading the news
ty and analytical articles. Secondly,
reading jokes and funny stories created by
gives the employee a good mood, which
has a great effect on work. B-
third, even if the employee wastes time
to all sorts of erotic sites, he will get
purely aesthetic pleasure, which
again in a very favorable way
will affect the annual report,balance or
communication with clients. Unfortunately, the pain
Most bosses are either retro
hail (if you don’t use inter-
no), or selfish (if they themselves use
they do, but they forbid cooperation to do so.
kam). Explaining anything to bosses is a pain.
makes sense. Therefore, in order to maximize
reduce quite real physical and
material risk, it is recommended to use
call for all sorts of camouflage methods.
For example, add paintings to your task list
ku spreadsheet where located
balance sheet, report or price list, and at the moment
when the boss approaches, call her to the emergency room
wound If the location of workplaces is
the company is such that the appearance of the boss
It is impossible to predict in advance, it should be
hang a small one on his office door
sensor that will give a warning signal
vogues throughout the company at the moment when
the boss leaves the office. It is possible to do
It’s even easier: place an alarm button
on hand at the boss's secretary. Of course, in
In this case, the entire company will have to keep secret
try to give a valuable gift every month,
but health is more valuable!
There is great danger from relatives
represents the so-called physical
ical aspect. Especially if the user
a few years, and it connects to the Internet
the one through the only one in the apartmentтелефон-
ную линию. Здесь все зависит от физичес-
кого и психологического уровня родителей.
Мои клиенты часто рассказывали о вопи-cases when the father uprooted
modem from a computer, beat my son/daughter with it
hit the modem in the head and swore to blow up the office
provider. But as a doctor, I believe that
Such violent methods are bad
depend on the user's psyche and certainly not
do not contribute to the speedy removal from in-
Internet addiction. Rather, on the contrary,
because forbidden fruit, as we know,
always sweeter than allowed.
And in this case, my advice will be
ented more to parents than to use
to the callers. So, if your child spends hours
sits on the telephone line and comes to you
a business partner can’t get through,
secretary or tax policeman, not
should swear, turn off the computer or
cut telephone lines. This won't help matters.
zhet. We need to act more cunningly.
Another great Hermes Trismegistus spoke
shaft that it is necessary to treat similar - similar
nom. How to understand this? Yes, very simple.
You must force your child to sit in
Internet. To the point of stupor, to the darkening of the eyes
choking and nausea that appears at the sight of bro-
user. Every day you need to give it to him
all kinds of tasks to find information
formation that you supposedly need for work.
This information should be as
boring and uninteresting. And tell him that
until he's everything for youwill find none
discos, walks, movies, videos, TV
visor, as well as trips outside the city.
Let him, for example, search on the Internet
all references to alloying methods
steel. In any languages. Tell him that
per day he must accumulate at least a couple
megabyte of information. Call him from work
every five minutes, and if the phone suddenly
turns out to be free, make a terrible
scandal on the topic - why is this offspring for-
busy with God knows what, and not sitting in In-
rub it.
Next. If your child is not present, please come in
how many times to the Network with his ICQ, find there
a bunch of like-minded people and start
endless conversations about politics, creativity
in honor of Herbert von Karajan, polytonal
significant overlays in Bach, existentialism
in the prose of Jean Paul Sartre and metaphors
in the perception of Kandinsky's works. It's better
do it once every two to three days. In about
for a couple of weeks your child will hear the word ICQ
shake nervously and burst into tears.
It will be necessary to spend a couple more days to
to find a few open-
mostly spammer sites and subscribe to
them to all mailing lists. And I told my child
those that he is obliged to review the entire post-
correspondence sent to e-mail, litter
test it dailygive you an account
in the form of a table. After this, the offspring and
the mail program will not be able to view without
shudders.
Do you see how simple it is? And no screams
coves, screams and physical impacts on
equipment, which, by the way, costs
money. And most importantly, you need to spend money on it
just a month, and then you will enjoy
indulge in exciting dialogues:
- Dad! Can I go for a walk? Nena-
long. For five to ten hours.
- (sternly) And you downloaded all the articles for me
on the topic of solutions to third-order equations -
using the Bairstow method.
- Dad, well, dad... I didn’t have time. Can I
will I download it tomorrow? Me from this Internet
I'm already sick. The doctor actually told me that
I need to take a break from the Internet for a year or two.
I can even bring you a certificate.
- OK. Go.
What won’t you do for your son’s happiness?
What else is harmful about the Internet? Of course
virtualization of relationships. Users
so accustomed to hours-long conversations
I'll tell you through the computer what it replaces for them
live human communication. And this is very
harmful. Where have the classic songs gone?
nurses in the kitchen with vodka, when - eyes in
eye, hand to hand, glass to glass - people
discussedpolitics, women, literature,
poetry, high art and domestic life
Votnykh? I don’t have this now. No. It comes
ridiculously so. Petya Mokin by some miracle
crawled out of the house and went to college.
On the way I met my friend Vasya.
- Did you receive my email? -
asks Vasya.
“I got it,” Petya answers.
- Did you read it?
- I read it.
- Did he answer?
- Answered.
“Well, great,” Vasya rejoices. - At-
I'm going home in the evening and reading.
The unfortunate user sticks out like an owl
at the monitor, blowing his beer or vodka and
periodically clink glasses with the monitor. Somehow
You can also become an alcoholic. At least me-
People never drank alone before. For
this required at least some
company. But not everyone came to visit
day, so we drank a little less
she. And now: connect to the Internet,
you launch ICQ or go to IRC - there you go
how many interlocutors and drinking buddies.
On the other hand, there is a particular danger
represent increasing cases of familiar
ties or even sexual relations through
Internet. ANDwhat? Lack of frames and
restrictions, which then lead to
great disappointment in real life.
Example. Young Petya Mokin represents
He is the type of skinny, pimply youth,
armed with a mass of sexual complexes.
Of course, he desperately wants to meet
mess with a girl, albeit ugly, but
a girl he might be interested in
vat. What would Petya do if it weren’t for su-
Did the Internet exist? Of course, let's go
I'd like to go to the rocking chair and make myself a manly one
figure, bought an acne remedy, started
read smart books, would start studying ora-
creative arts, learn English,
and slowly from Petit Mokina turned into
Pete McKean, whom I would like to meet
Any girl under 50 would be honored
years.
What's happening now? Petya Mokin is not
brings out pimples, stomps his butt, sitting all day
kami at the computer and from morning to morning trading
cheat in internet sex chats,
fanning the youthful lust within. "And those-
feather, darling, stroke me THERE,” - ner-
Petya taps loudly, sipping casually
house beer, increasing the third fold on the body
Now I’m lighting the first cigarette I’ve already had
third pack for the day. The problem isn't even
that Petya Mokin does not communicate with the best
red blonde Natasha (as he believes)et), and with his dean Pyotr Sergeevi-
than, who is over 60, but has not yet lost
their homosexual inclinations.
The trouble is that on the Internet
you can get to know each other, get to know each other and
even engage in surrogate sex, but ro-
You can't sell over the Internet! Well, no way
it won't work, I assure you! It is possible, by
perhaps give birth to some Tomagotchi, but
This is not at all what Petya expects from him.
society.
And society, meanwhile, is hardly anything
will receive something from Petya (if he immediately
won't take my advice) because
that the young guy has no incentive to bring
bring yourself to your senses. He is interested in sports -
only on the computer, sleeps from 6 a.m. to
12 days, shirt and jeans do not change month-
tsami (why, if no one sees him?),
eats potato chips and beer, and
is only interested in new versions of Win-
doWs and overclocking processors.
Horrible picture? Of course it's terrible. Yes
what to do? There is only one way out! Required
Dimo get rid of Internet addiction.
And the sooner, the sooner. Nobody
argues that in moderate doses the Internet does not
only not harmful, but even useful. But,
I repeat - in moderate doses. Therefore myThe task, as an Internet hangmetologist, is to explain
thread to you, dear users, what kind of
you can get rid of the Internet at once
passion. One thing should be remembered.
Science has not yet invented medication,
money that will do everything for you.
And treatment will be successful only if
in case you want to help yourself
and you will strictly follow my
advice.
Soadvice from an Internet hangmetologist.
1) Try to gradually move away from
communication via email. Not
immediately, but systematically. You'll probably be studied
mit the fact that letters can be exchanged
via regular post offices
ny. Yes, yes, a letter can be written in alphabet
mage, seal it in an envelope and send
without the help of a computer. Try to do
do it at least once, and you will see how
this process is interesting. In addition, to
send a letter, you will have to contact
street, crawl to the nearest post office
box or post office, and this is bla-
will have a positive effect on your health. EU-
don't you know how to write with a pen?
You can write it in Word, print it on
printer, and then seal it in an envelope.Of course, this is much more complicated
than just writing to a friend via email
daktor and immediately send a letter to
res Internet, but you want to be cured,
isn't it? But how nice it is to receive
an ordinary, lively letter that is your friend
or a friend wrote with her own hand, for-
so they printed it out and sealed it in an envelope! you
you can take it with you to college,
read on public transport
lectures, in the toilet, finally! And with electron-
with this letter you are deprived of such joy.
Then, paper letters never contain
reap viruses or Trojans. Don't believe it
those? In vain! And no one will give you a bomb there
won't put it in because it's in an envelope
It just won't fit. In addition, spam
mailboxes are easily distinguished from envelopes
the one with a personal letter, which cannot be said about
spam letters received via e-mail
il.
Make it a rule every morning
instead of rushing to the computer and
check your e-mail box, get dressed, be-
press down and check your mailbox.
By the way, if you don't use
elevator, then such a run can be considered
excellent exercise. I even recommend
create a post office box at the post office where
you should send all your correspondence to
tion. In this case, your habitin the morning
be sure to check your email will lead to
so that you rush to the post office
running, which is certainly a great way to say
affects your health. On the cheeks will appear-
blush, the belly will slowly begin to fill
put it back in your pants, flat ass
will become elastic, in a word, not for long - and
the computer will no longer recognize you.
In addition, paper letters are less suitable
exposed to the risk of sudden destruction in
as a result of a computer failure. This too
important, isn't it? And one more extremely useful
nice moment: you can read your mail
that even if in your house
The power has been turned off! You saw what
Are prospects opening up?
2) Try to read news in newspapers
and magazines, and not on Lenta.Ru (Http://len-
ta.ru). Of course, on Lenta the news is
are faster than in print publications
niyah. But you need it - faster than anyone else -
say that someone was killed there, something
blew up or dispersed again
government brooms?
Then, how nice it is to hold in your hands
real, paper-crisp newspaper! Her
you can readsipping coffee, tea,
potassium permanganate solution, kefir, beer, vodka or
cocktail "A little gin in a cold tonic"
ke". Of course, sip different drinks
You can also sit behind the monitor. But first of all
- the drink tends to be accidentally spilled
get on the keyboard. And the keyboard of this
doesn't like it. Secondly, the newspaper can be placed
lay in any convenient plane, which is not
say something about the monitor. Have you ever tried
Should you put the monitor on your lap? Especially
if it is 17 or 21 inches. Well, so how
in the case of e-mail, paper
publications can be read anywhere, anywhere, and
not only in close proximity to
electrical outlet.
3) Try to gradually wean yourself off ICQ
and IRC. I’ll tell you a terrible secret: you can live
but communication is much more effective than
on the web. Don't believe me? Spend a little
experiment. Call a friend and get started
tell each other jokes. Calculate
melt the number of jokes told
in an hour. Then do the same, only
to via ICQ. After all this compare
obtained results. You will get 30 pro-
tive 7. Thumbs up? Think about how many
You are depriving yourself of the quality of jokes.
It also makes sense to look from the outside
We know what IRC is. For thisinvite to
visit your friends in the amount of 20-40
person and play the game Internet Relay
CHat. How to play it? Very simple. By-
put all this kagal in one small
room. Next, offer in the same
point in time to discuss the following topics:
a) Is there life on Marx?
b) Why is Netshkaf better than explorer?
c) Why Baltika rules, and Afanasy -
garbage dump?
d) Why does white wine produce white
Ryachka, and red wine causes red fever
doesn't happen?
During the conversation, the audience recommended
pouts from time to time to pronounce the phrase
PS: “Seryoga eats an apple and looks out the window,”
"Andrey just ate and is now mu-
craves a cockroach", "Lenya was so classy yesterday
I met my aunt, and she turned out to be
man", "Stalker believes that Windows is
filthy glitch", "No one by chance
Do you have an Internet cracker lying around? Period-
personally, some of those gathered must co-
get into groups of two or three people andretire to another room for privacy
but chat about a topic that interests them. From
they should all take turns once every few
seconds to run out of the room into the common room,
to listen to what is being said and interject
your phrase, which usually has no relation
attitude to the topic under discussion. To completely
recreate the atmosphere prevailing on IRC,
each of those present must from time to time
time to fall out of the window, and then want-
knock on the door shouting: “What a lousy
contact today!", and start a long, healthy
interact with everyone present, even
if he disappeared for just a few seconds.
It's best if you're a bunch of people like this
you will practice every day. Here
There are two options for the development of events: or
you will enjoy live communication so much,
that you will forget about IRC channels,
or a similar style of communication will start to make you afraid
super annoying and you'll hate IRC
fierce hatred. Of course, these two re-
The results will be positive.
4) You should also wean yourself from the bad habit
habit of contacting people a hundred times a day
on this page to check if the
Whether there is a new release or not. Instead
It is recommended to run out of the house and run around
jogging to the newspaper stands,wondering
goal to catch the newspaper poster at that moment
cop when he had just started
pour a new number. I bet it's a lot...
it’s more fun and healthier,
than stupidly poking a mouse at a button with an over-
in writing "Favorites".
5) What else can’t you do without?
No porn sites? There will be porn sites for you.
I'm not a prude, so I'm understanding
to similar human passions. Recently
together with one psychologist we researched
one curious problem: why use
Internet users with such unrelenting
pay attention to porn sites, cha-
waiting for something to load
turns out to be a registration form
(where you need to enter your credit card number)
ki), or an advertisement for another porno
servers? Why do they spend hundreds on this?
hours of your time and hundreds of dollars
your money when it’s enough just to eat
go to the pirate market and buy for a couple
dollars laser disc where these tits are
these beautiful beauties - at least look around. How oka-
stuck, in the process of gradual loading
that's exactly what's most exciting
moment. If the contents of porn
site appeared on the screen instantly, then
the user would forget aboutthese
websites.
Considering this circumstance, I propose
I guess the next option is to recreate porn
site in real life.
a) Option one.
Buy a Playboy or Pent magazine
house" and tear it into small pieces,
why do you scatter them all over the room?
The task is to make sure that from the scattered
new pieces to recreate the magazine again.
b) Option two.
He will need the help of a friend.
A screen is placed in the room, behind which
there's a friend with a stack of porn magazines.
You sit down on a chair in front of the screen and
say the name of the magazine loudly. After
this friend begins to slowly demon-
display all sorts of advertising over the screen
leaflets. You wait and fidget impatiently
on a chair. In about ten minutes,
the friend must raise the ceiling above the screen
cat: "Are you sure that you are already 18
years?"
“Yes,” you yell. - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes -
yes, yes, yes, yes!
A friend raises a poster: “Exactly?”
“Yes,” you yell. - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes -
yes, yes, yes, yes!
A friend raises a poster: “Are you sure?”
what do you really want to see?
for all this nasty stuff?
“Yes,” you yell. - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes -
yes, yes, yes, yes!
A friend raises a poster: “In order to
to look at these nasty things, you don't-
you need to go down to the courtyard, go through four
re quarter, find exactly the red car
bill "Moskvich", remember its number and not -
come back slowly."
You are doing this like the last idiot
all these manipulations, you come back
but, please tell us the car number, after which
the friend very slowly begins to lift up
take a picture from some kind of photo above the screen
to the model, but suddenly the screen slams -
Xia and a friend together with a screen and magazines
falls to the floor. Of course, now the process
the fool needs to start from the very beginning.
That's probably all the advice for the first one
stage of treatment. We will still talk about
removal fromInternet addiction, and you have experienced
keep to yourself all the methods I'm talking about
wrote. Tell me the results by phone
well 123-45-67, but keep in mind that there
it's busy almost 24 hours a day because
I don't have a second line for the Internet.
Doctor Dialapkin.
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