Bowl - About girls.

| About girls
| Tomcat / Greenroom (published in hugi # 22)


Let's be straight: this article is for nerds. Not that I would
have anything against computer freaks, I have many true nerds as
friends. Many of them have serious problems in dealing with
girls, and many of them have never had a girlfriend, and they
think they'll never have one. But like every man, they all dream
of beautiful and cute girlies, as seen in GIFs, while having no
idea how to find them. If you think you're not that type and you
don't need my advice, simply don't read this article. For the
rest let me help you a bit. First of all, you will barely find a
girlfriend by sitting at the machine all the day. Well, in fact
there are net chatrooms where you can find some, but those are
mostly ugly sluts, or worse, they are guys, fooling you. I have
never heard of anyone getting a girlfriend on the IRC or a
chatroom. If you're a nerd, don't expect any girl from your
close environment to fall in love with you. Your female
classmates probably hate you, or think you're impotent or gay.
Don't even try them, and I also don't recommend other girls from
school. School is out of bounds for our real lives anyway, some
years later you'll see that your schoolmates were mostly morons
and losers.

You should find girls somewhere else, perhaps at a party. Yes,
it can even be a demoparty, I currently have my second
girlfriend whom I first met at a demoparty. But a normal party
is much more useful. Say, you don't know when and where parties
are held? Don't say you don't have friends who are not nerds, at
least you should have some on the IRC or so. Meet them, hang
around with them (forget computers for a while), get a life
together, and soon you'll find yourself in a friendship
community, and soon you will be invited to a party. Such
communities always attract girls, if it's not only about
computers. Even you can start a party, but don't forget to
invite fifty-five girls and five boys to have ten girls and
forty boys. :)

Well, OK, you now know some girls, and you're at a party. It's
not a cool idea to hook yourself to a girl, and keep bothering
her with your blabbing, and it's definitely not the way to
immediately ask for her phone number. Just let the party run, do
something that makes fun. Don't sit in a corner! Team up with
your friends and do something. It doesn't matter what, as long
as it's funny and people are trying to join. Start cooking
pancakes, sit down and tell funny stories, whatever. Soon some
girls will also join. If a friendly bunch is getting too big,
usually if it has more that four members, it will soon break up
to talking couples or trios. Start talking to one of the girls
as if it were just happening that she's standing closest to you.
You can tell funny stories, just think about the ones you've
read in diskmagazines, put your or your friends' names in them,
and don't care about the copyright - she's not likely to have
read Hugi.

See, you're now talking with a girl and having fun. Does talking
to a female block your tongue? C'mon, you're a MAN, you've got
something she wants, and, besides, you must show strength - not
necessarily muscles, but strength in spirit, you should show
that you're different from everyday morons, as you are for sure.
Don't be scared that she will find you ugly, because she won't.
This is already sex: males get excited from the view of females,
but females care far less about their partners' bodily
appearance. Of course they care about your clothing, so don't
wear your worst rags. What can excite a female is first
gentleness from a male, and the feeling of him being able to
protect her. This is a basic instinct in women, they will not
analyze your body like a robot, since this protection thing is
not about muscles at all, they will just feel if you're right.
So build an image about yourself which is not too far from the
truth but sounds interesting.

Now, let's say she's a party girl. This one is considered a slut
by most people, the one you can fuck at a party and the next
time someone else will. Then from here you only need to take her
for a dance, and skip the next part. If she's not a party girl,
have a nice conversation with her. Perhaps she has a boyfriend,
perhaps not, but don't give up if she has one. Many girls are
just about to leave the prick they currently hang around with,
but they will all say they have a boyfriend. In fact this is
another female instinct, it's just to slow you down on your way
to her. If you don't give up at this point, and keep moving on,
the girl will perhaps respect it, and will soon consider leaving
her current boyfriend for you, the more interesting person.

But currently you're just talking, and there is nothing about
getting together - yet. Talk to her about arts, movies,
whatever, find out what she prefers. Let's say she likes movies.
Well, it's just a simple thing - swap phone numbers at the end
of the party, and call her some days later to invite her to a
cinema. One thing to note is that porno cinemas are not too OK
for this purpose. If she has a boyfriend, and she's faithful,
she will deny the invitation, and this is the point for you to
stop. Mission failed, soldier, but there are almost three
billion more other women on this planet ... But let's say she
agrees. Now, this is where something can start. Meet her, go to
the cinema, of course it's recommended that you pay both
tickets, since you're the man. After the movie invite her for a
walk, have a coffee at some place, or maybe even go dancing - if
she likes that and you aren't dancing like a wounded elephant.
Of course you're expected to escort her home, if you have money,
a taxi can make good use.

Girls are usually just as scared as you are. When arriving at
her place, she'll probably be worried about what should happen
now. She will not show it, but it's a sign if she just stands at
her gate with you for some seconds, likely not finding the
appropriate words for the evening, and then she just says:
"Well, thank you for everything ... err ... bye!" Then just go
ahead and ask for your little kiss on the cheek. You will surely
get it. More experienced girls will automatically give it to
you.

From this moment she'll also aspire to meeting you. Next time
invite her to some event held with friends, for example a
pancake cooking, some guy's birthday, etc. Believe me, if you're
a man and have the necessary hormones, you will know when it's
time to kiss her for the first time.

And voila, you have your first girlfriend. Congratulations.

But be careful! In fact picking up a chick is much easier than
keeping her. During the next weeks learn about her habits,
strong points, try finding out what she likes and what not. Most
girls don't like computers and other machinery (cars, airplanes,
weaponry, etc.), so avoid these. Sometimes buy her small
presents: a piece of flowers can always work. To strengthen your
position, you can talk with her about psychological problems:
girls usually like to state that they're soooo depressed because
of something. In most cases that's ridiculous, but just listen
to her, sometimes say something like "I see", "Oh that's bad",
"Well ..." etc., and she will think you really listen. It's not
like lying, if she doesn't have a real problem, it will help
her, but if you really try to solve her nonexistent problems,
she will tell you more and more details she has in mind, and
finally you'll find yourself in a labyrinth.

Someday you will reach the point when you both want to go to bed
with each other. Note that sex is not a disgusting activity, not
even for the woman; if she kissed you, she wants you, and if she
wants you, having sex with you is not disgusting for her at all.
The question is, when to do that? It's a good idea to get her
menstruation calendar somehow. Most girls don't like fucking
when they have it, but in fact it's possible even then, and
since their clitoris is more sensitive during their days, they
will enjoy it much more. Of course it doesn't apply if she has
pains during menstruation. But let's not start with this - find
out when she doesn't have it. Try getting her close to a bed
just some days after it's over. Just start with what you've
already done: kissing and embracing each other. She will enjoy
it, and will perhaps immediately know what will happen. But it
may happen that she's a virgin, or she is petrified of sex.
She's not necessarily frigid, but she's a bit afraid. If she
tries to stop you after a point, just ask her what's wrong.

In fact many old bitches - aunts, grandmas, etc. - Have the
habit of telling young girls that the first event is very
painful. Yes, it is painful, if the asshole just jumps on the
girl and stuffs it in. This should have happened to the old
bitch, and since she's also just a loser as the one who fucked
her, she thinks it's normal to have striking pain and see
splattering blood when losing virginity. Well, it's not. Let me
tell a story about such stupid bitches which is not connected to
the subject, but I just have it in mind. A letter was published
once in a Hungarian female magazine. A woman, stating she has a
diploma, wrote that she'd been married for five years, but she
still didn't have children, and, besides, sex always caused her
great pain in her anus, isn't there a way to get her asshole
more slippery? Har har. Nah, back to the subject.

So if she's fearing pain, just tell her that it's bullshit, but
don't apply force if she just doesn't want it. It is not
necessary to really have a coitus for the first night. But you
can be together, feeling each other, and I think this is the
greatest bodily feature. For the second or the third night
she'll surely be thinking it over, and will let you really do
some great fucking. I guess you don't need to be told what parts
a girl has. Start kissing her face and neck, these have many
sensitive areas. Once try gently passing over your finger on
your neck and face. You will feel where they're more sensitive.
The girl has the same areas. You can even play with her ears
with your tongue, or by gently biting them. But as I said, there
are male instincts, and these will once again help you find the
way.

If you're good at the game, try removing her upper clothes. She
will let you do that, but don't simply pull her blouse off,
first slip your hands under it, and touch her hot skin, her
back, her side, the side of the breasts even. You will see what
she wants, her body will guide you. Slowly remove the clothes,
and keep her stimulating. Meanwhile put her on the bed, and lie
her down. If the breasts are free, go to them. Try kissing them,
licking them with your tongue, but don't let your tongue be hard
at first. And don't poke the tits with your fingertips, they are
very sensitive now. If you feel that they're getting harder, it
is a proof that she enjoys it. In fact most women like it when a
man holds their tits in his hands. This gives them a feeling of
safety. To women, the breast is as important as the ball to us
men. They get a bit more relaxed if the man they love and trust
takes care of them.

Another erogenous zone is the area of the belly. Gentle kisses
can work, but some girls are ticklish there. The butt is also
very sensitive, and is a rarely touched intimate zone, so
touching or stroking it can really excite her. You can even try
kissing it - not the anus for the first time, but no point of
the body is restricted to be touched.

The inner side of the thighs is usually the point where it comes
to light whether she really wants it now or needs a bit more
besieging. Try gently stroking her legs from the knees to
upwards. When you reach the thighs, she will either quickly
close her legs or open them. In the first case try convincing
her that you will do no harm, and no one will punish her if she
acts like a woman and asks for what she desires. At this point
she will probably not need too much talking.

So here is it: the female organ (also known as pussy, for the
less educated). The pussy is a delicate equipment, and requires
very gentle handling. It has two main parts; the clitoris is in
the upper part. It may not be visible at the moment, it's unique
for every woman, as in sensitivity as in size. But just as for
cocks, size doesn't matter. Have you seen porno movies? I guess
you have. Well, believe me, the guy in the movie was actually
licking that. You can do it too. In fact oral sex is the most
gentle action one can do for his or her partner. Don't be
afraid, it's neither dirty nor stinky (or if it is, you have a
very low quality bitch). And since every healthy woman did
masturbation at least once in her life, clitoral orgasm is a
known thing to her, she will most probably allow you to lick.
You can push one finger in her hole during the act and move it
inside, or even two. Orally satisfying the girl has two obvious
advantages. First, it will be easier for you to satisfy her
during the coitus later. Most women have a much harder time
getting to orgasm than a man does, so you will likely be done
earlier than she would like to. Second, if she doesn't really
want to suck you, but you'd like it, you can convince her to at
least try it, since you also did it for her.

Ah yes, sucking. A friend of mine always said that every woman
was going to suck one day, but to be honest, it is not sure that
you'll still live on that day. Some girls just don't suck at
all. Some do. There are many ways of doing that, I won't write
them down here, if you're interested in how to do that, visit
some gay site. Well, if your girlfriend is able to suck you, you
can consider yourself lucky, if she even enjoys it, then you're
fuckin 'lucky, and if she even swallows the jelly then you have
the jackpot. Even some porno stars don't like to swallow.

So, when you got enough of petting and oral games, you can try
the coitus. If your partner is a virgin, be sure that she's very
wet before trying anything, and don't push it too quickly, but
neither slowly. If you do it right, she will not feel anything
bad, and will even have an orgasm. Some blood may spill however,
that's normal.

Well, this was my tutorial for nerds, hope it helps at least
some poor freaks who have to live their lives without cunt
support. And note my words: there is no thing like
predestination! You're not the one destined to play the computer
all your life. All you need is to turn that machine off
sometimes.