01 января 1995

                         20 Useless tips                        
                         ---------------
                         By Bogie of E-3                        
                         ---------------
Here I am again with another stupid article that will probably  
make no sense at all!!!  Some of these tips maybe extremely     
obvious, but I don't care!!!                                    
                                                                
1. When in the shower never bend over so your head is below your
waist.  This causes the water to run down your face and it      
always goes up your nose!!!  So don't do it!                    
2. When washing your face never put the soap in your mouth!     
3. Always remember to sit down on the toilet when having a shit!
4. When walking home always remember where you live!!           
5. When writing stupid artciles for Subliminal Extacy try to    
make them as stupid as possible!!                               
6. Don't waste your money on the Subliminal Extacy CIXLINE!!    
7. When writing any article for Subliminal Extacy always        
remember to turn your Speccy on!                                
                      ___________________                       
8. When making funky  || This funky  |   | 9. When using 3.5"    
ASCII art try to make || disk was    | []| dsdd disks never try  
them as funky as my   || done by     |   | using them in your    
disk that took me     || bogie!!     |   | built in drive on yer
about 30 minutes to   ||_____________|   | +3!!                  
draw!!!               |  ___________     |                      
                      | | __       |     | 11. Never throw your  
10. Never store disk  | ||  |DSDD  |     | most important disks, 
in a disk box made    | ||__|780K  |     | with your best        
out of a huge magnet! _|__________|_____| demos/work on them,   
                                           against a wall!!      
                                                                
12. When lighting a fag make sure you put the 'butt' end in you 
mouth!!!                                                        
13. Never throw strong acid in you face without wearing a       
protective mask!!                                               
14. Never put a metal spanner across the terminals on your car! 
This causes the spanner to weld itself to the battery and you   
can't get it off!!!  Don't believe me???  Try it!!              
15. Never jump into bed when your bed is a hammock tied to very 
thin trees!!                                                    
16. When someone unexpected gives you a disk always check the   
disk inside the casing just incase of there being sand paper    
inside!!                                                        
17. Never give up on Speccy!!  Or else!!!  You have been warned!
18. It isn't advisable to call yourself a taxi when you don't   
need one!!!  It is o.k. to send one around to someone elses     
house and watch from just over the road!!                       
19. If I was you I wouldn't put fruit up your, or anyone elses, 
arse!!                                                          
20. Never put down disk drives!!!  They are MUCH better than    
shitty tapes!!                                                  
21. When calling an article '20 useless tips' always do 20, no  
more and no less!!!                                             
22. Then why have I done more than 20???                        
23. I better stop then hadn't I!?!                              
24. Yes I think I should!!!                                     
                                                                
Hmmmmm a strange article!!!  If you have any more useless tips  
then please send them to us and we will put them in the next    
issue of Subliminal Extacy!!