Miscellaneous - Intel outside.

                                         
  A few thoughts on the question of...   
                                         
(C) 1999 Alex Exler WWW.exler.ru         
-------------------------------------------------------
 How good, easy and free
currently working for writers who
can make full use of all the shock-
significant technical achievements of mankind
qualities called a computer! As I write-
every person had to work until
the advent of the computer?  It was full
nightmare!  The pen was picked up, the writer tweeted
something of his own on paper, crossed out
whole paragraphs, rewrote them,
made sure that a comma was missing in the section
members, and the members themselves look
not in the best way, rewrote
oh, I noticed that twice
used the word “bye” nearby, rewrote
paragraph again, got angry, made sure that
the introduction did not at all correspond to those
me, I threw out the introduction, rewrote everything
work, then corrected the grammar
logical errors, syntax errors, or-
phographical errors, then put the pack
written sheets of paper on your desk, and
the cleaning lady Glasha was throwing away thispack for
trash heap, because "Why are these leaves
store?  They are all spoiled: something
it’s written there, then crossed out-crossed-
Nuto!"                                  
                                         
   This is not at all how a writer works in modern times.
temporary conditions of the technical revolution and
evolution!  Writing efficiency
labor has increased hundreds of millions of times! What
now the writer does, having drunk a cup of tea in the morning
a cup of coffee?  That's right: he writes "War and
world", quickly rams it onto
French (using Stylus), gives
read to a French friend and enjoys-
by his reaction.                         
                                         
 Let us now consider this in more detail
process.  There is a task for me: to write
article for a magazine. Time allotted for this
lasts for one day. I'm well aware
the fact that Pushkin, for example, doesn’t care
The preparation of this article would require a mini-
mum week (especially considering the fact
that he would need to read the whole
"brick" in higher mathematics).  And I,
armed with all the power of modern technology
ki, I’ll spend a maximum of two on this article
an hour, after which I can calmly play
to toys until the evening.                     
                                         
   In the morning I get up, play with the cat, have a drink
a cup of tea, turn on the computer,
from him a cat.The monitor flickers faintly
kidney from below, but shows nothing. But
I'm a specialist! I'm all these computers
I know things very well. I'm off to find out.
It turned out that the cat, having fun, pulled out
monitor cable from the video card (it is du-
bin, he was mistaken for a tail from Mouse).
I plug the cable into a working computer, love
I am alarmed by the blue lights that pros-
slip between the cable block and the
card, I make sure that the video card is faulty
I wanted to work apparently forever, after
why quickly get ready and go to the nearest one?
our computer company.  There's an hour or two there
I’m talking with a specialist who revealed
presents before me the full range of modern
new video cards, I stop shyly
on Matrox. It is obvious to me that the specialist
completely proved that only this card
will be able to make full use of all
the power of the WindoWs-95 operating system.
I count my finances and remember that
I have a 512 Trident lying around at home, which
which will be able to support 800x600 (why?
I still wish), I’m quickly going home,
I throw away the burnt "invisible diamond"
and install the vulgar but working Trident,
I turn on the computer.                        
                                         
   WindoWs`95 demonstrates in front of me
clouds for about ten minutes, but other signs
does not give life.  I'm booting into safe-mode,
I'm taking a long time to figure it outwith the settings, I find out,
that Win95 detected some kind of RRP in me
internal scanner, I turn off this device, but
Win95 doesn’t agree to just turn it off
is shaken, after which we both compromise
miss: "internal scanner" changes to
external video card and Win95 is already calm
loading.                                
                                         
   I'm running the excellent WinWord7.0 and pi-
shu article.  In just a couple of hours
the article is ready (here it is - the power of modern
technique), I am already anticipating the gentle boron-
dangling paisan ("Eat my lord") in Warcraft-
Those, I close the WinWord window with Alt-FCh and
to the question about saving the article automatically
I honestly answer “No”, because... firmly in my head
there is a thesis that in Win`95 to answer
"Yes" to questions - it’s generally not possible, after
why do I change logo.sys to a picture with a phrase
"Win95 must die!" and I sit down to write again
article, having previously entered it into WinWord
autosave every one minute. When-
in about an hour and a half Norton Utilities
turns on NDD, which runs into pro-
the process of saving my article in WinWord and
tries to shuffle its clusters for a long time, turns off
arranging them on the disk in a beautiful pattern
so that it turns out to be "Peter Norton".
WinWord kindly informs me that in pro-
An error occurred while saving the article,
then performs illegal operation with Win95
walkie-talkie for appendicitis excision at the operating roommemory, which Win`95 thoughtfully fiddles with
13th interrupt and tells me that "U
we have some problems here, but you don’t care
come on!”, after which it hangs tightly.     
                                         
   I reboot, after which I am delighted
I make sure that WinWord opens the article
refuses categorically.  I open it
like DOS text, I've been trying for three hours
separate mixed Help to WinWord and
the text of the article, after which I write the article for-
new.  Every time she becomes more and more
better and better.                           
                                         
   In a couple of hours the article is finished,
safely preserved under ten names -
mi (I don’t need risk), I’ll calmly launch
I know Warcraft, System Doctor calmly for-
starts Speed Disk, the light in the house is calm
crashes for a minute, and when loading
it turns out that loading, in fact,
there is nothing, and nothing is stored in the party
no mention of logical drives.      
                                         
   A couple of hours of data recovery
gives almost a complete set of directory
/DOS - that's all. Another hour is spent on reformatting
matting the screw, installing Win95 and pro-
gram under it, after which it came to mind
dit a simple but ingenious solution: I
I'm packing an old typewriter "Lyubava", from
I tap the article, after which I easilyI recognize it with the magnificent FineReader 3.0
and finally I print it out to my loved ones
font.                                 
                                         
 Technical progress is a great force!   
                                         

                                         
 Some tips for the user
 when purchasing a computer    
                                         
(C) 1999 Alex Exler  WWW.exler.ru
-------------------------------------------------------
 It has long been known that purchasing specialists
Losing a computer is easy. They are great
understand what exactly they need, easily and without
are forced to operate with names and characteristics
characteristics of various personal computer peri-
feria and as a result almost always get
you get what you want.  In a completely different situation
turn out to be ordinary users (“tea-
ki"). Computer company managers are watching
they are arrogant, they talk through
teeth, forced to buy unimaginable prices
figurations (beneficial for the selling company,
but completely unsuitable for work).
Unhappy user squeezing
lac earned by the sweat of your browmoney,
comes to the company to buy a modest
computer (which he needs exclusively
but for installation "Lexicon") and good
printer.  From half an hour to an hour it came to him
will be spent on simply bringing
come to the manager's attention.  But the one with
the first few minutes I realized who was standing in front of him
and the manager's task at the moment
is to clearly give
understand to the user how much he tries
Problems are small compared to super-tasks
manager, who has been waiting for ten minutes
party in"Doom".                         
                                         
   After enjoying the user's humiliation,
an employee of the company attacks him furiously
a flow of technical terms, as a result
That's why I'm cold from tension
"teapot" is ready for anything and buys some
some crazy Pentium with built-in power
demo (because it was clearly proven to him that
Internet connection) and installed
WindoWs95.However, there is no money for a printer
enough, and the manager, obviously
completely proved its uselessness. Bringing
home, and having installed this treasure, use
First of all, the guy gets hit in the forehead by the wife.
us (since it took too much to buy the monster)
tionseven hundred dollars set aside for his wife
suit).  Over the next few weeks he
spends on learning WinWord-and, as a result,
those which, pressed for time, finds
DOS boot option, installs your favorite
wash "Lexicon" and forget WindoWs`95 how
terrible dream. Use the modem for him
also fails because the phone is in its
not at home (what about using a modem
phone required, user found out
only a week after purchase).     
                                         


















                                         
  My numerous observations of similar
certain situations clearly show that he himself
the user is to blame for how he is treated
managers include.  His intimidation
ingratiating glance and timidity - just for-
make managers feel empowered
the world's greatest specialists. Problem
this article is to teach you, dear user,
caller or "teapot", fight with non-
prominent managers to defend their
rights and emerge victorious at any
situations!  However, issues of mutual
meetings with managers can serve as a topic
for an entire dissertation. I am, of course, unconvinced
I will return to this topic many times, and
now, for starters, I just want to give
so much advice for those who have already become victims
these people.  To you, my dear deceived
user who spent crazy
money to buy a computer and only
but then I found out that he uses this
computer for a maximum of 10%, dedicated to
these tips.                              
                                         
   So, some useful tips "tea-nick" who wants to take revenge on the deceiver
to his manager.  Door to the company premises
should be opened with your foot.  With this you immediately
you'll get attention. Howl-
for the room, choose some me-
nejera, go up to him and say loudly:  
                                         
  - Do you think I’ve been here for two days?
I’ll hang around and wait for someone to come to me
would it be suitable? Do you have anyone working here?
melts or not?                           
                                         
   Then forcefully let the manager know
what are you going to do very big
order, and that you only need the best
our components.  Show him the degree
your awareness of all the nuances
computer equipment.  Invent any
terms and company names, refer to non-
existing authorities! The main thing is to do
in a very confident and loud voice.
It is better to discuss the computer configuration
at the level of each element of the system block
ka.  Start with the motherboard. Give it right away
understand that you know the system very well
labeling "mothers". What "VX" is a plan-
you are for primary school age,"НХ"
- for secondary school and only "XX" -
forreal adult users. On
manager's attempts to explain what they have
there are only "VX"  and "HX" - contemptuously
twist your face and say that in this case
they should have hung a sign in front of the entrance
PM "Computers for children."Then say
zhi that you are only interested in the board "In-
tel-trinitron",and for at least half an hour did not agree
don't bother with any others.              
                                         
   Next, the question of choosing a process will arise.
ra. Of course, only require 600-
th processor and the manager’s attempts are
give you some 200th - answer
loud mocking laughter.  Give it to him
understand that you know very well about
that in some companies they saw through
processors and halves are placed in two computers
Yuter, thus saving on the complex
fuming.  And it's a no brainer, tell the manager
that half the processor works at two
times slower than a whole. While the manager is
children take about five minutes to catch their breath after your
statement, tell him that you are excellent
you know very well the manner of some companies
instead of the company "Intel" company processors
we "BMW" and "Citrus", and that you are so sub-
you won't tolerate barter.                       
                                         
   Next we should discuss the number of op-
rative memory.  There is one pi-
final moment: explain to the manager that you
you're going to spend a lot of money on
very modern and fast
computer, but you're not going to overpay
Cheer for the memory. Show that you are beautiful
but you know their way of forcing the buyer
acquire a crazy amount of memory, you can
motivating this with increased requirementsWin-
doWs`95 or WindoWsNT.Declare that with this
powerful computer configuration will help you
8 megabytes is quite enough for us-
settings WindoWNT. And what if you have
some problems at work - this me-
the neger will be in trouble. Then fierce
but argue with the manager about every
up to an extra megabyte of memory and force
its to say that the additional 16 mega-
They will supply the bytes at the expense of the company.         
                                         
   After that, proceed to selecting the hard drive.
ra. Make the manager bring it and show it
all the models they canoffer.
Pay special attention to the name of the gesture
whom disk.  "Quantum Fireball"reject
immediately due to indecent sound (at
you have children at home, so you don't care
why Winchester "Fire Egg"). When I see
inscriptions  "Caviar"  grab your heart and
declare that you have a terrible allergy on your calf -
Gia.  Regarding "SeaGate" remember that you
I recently paid a huge amount to my neighbors
from below, after filling them with water, and
"Barracuda" you can't anyway
you want to buy because you are simply afraid for
your life. Then look closely at
this pile of hard drives and declare that those
In any case, I’m not happy with what they eat.
bone.  You need, tell the manager, a disk
volume of at least 5 inches (and you like
boron will most likely bring only 3
inch). If the manager is somewhere on
the warehouse will find a five-inch one for you
"Bigfoot",state that you have just submitted
considered the volume of his lexicon texts
tov and by sound reflection for their preservation
For sure you will need a hard drive with a capacity of up to
less than 10 inches. Such a hard drive manages
Jer, of course, won’t be able to find it for you,after which you should declare that with
with such a poor choice you would be in their place
would not even enter the market.             
                                         
   When choosing a video card, set the
The main condition is support for 480,000 points.
To the manager's attempts to find out what it is
for the regime, burst into mocking laughter
and sarcastically inquire about which one
the manager learned at school that he cannot
cut 800 to 600.                       
                                         
   When evaluating CD-ROMs, state that you want
4-5 speed is quite enough for children, but
The gear shift knob should
be made in Mercedes style.   
                                         
   Keep in mind that the entire discussion
you should need at least a minimum of configuration
two and a half hours, after which remember,
that you forgot the money at home, affectionately patted
give the manager a share, majestically give it
him to understand that only complete illiteracy
number of company personnel (meaning,
I guess this manager) forced you
waste so much time. Reverse
his attention to the fact that you, as a noble-
man, you can’t leave without buying anything
beer, then buy it for $2
mouse pad and left, promising a loan
ty tomorrow to discuss the monitor type.  
"Intel Days in Ukraine"     
              or              
   "Bummer in broad daylight"    
                                         
(C) 1999 Mg.Beeper/Last Masters          
-------------------------------------------------------
The reason for writing this article was
fact that in June 1999 throughout the territory
in Ukraine an exhibition was held under
title - "INTEL Days in Ukraine".       
                                         
   This exhibition took place in many cities
Dakh of Ukraine. In Kharkov everything went over
or less, depending on what you compare it to, but
in Kyiv the guys screwed up specifically, but in
I haven’t been to Kyiv and I’ll tell you how it all happened
happened here in Kharkov, and you in yours
turn after reading the entire text can-
can you imagine what was there in
Kyiv...                                 
                                         
 This whole thing happened in the Opera House
atre, the most prestigious place in Kharkov and
everyone who was going to go there dreamed of
about what will happen there.- Maybe they’ll tell us about new ones there
Intel achievements or will show in work
a brand new stump - many said. Yes, that's it
this is only in dreams, but in reality
this is different. Arriving at the place, first
I actually saw a large crowd gathered -
who tried to get inside
buildings, but all their attempts were wasted
money wasted. Having asked the first person he came across,
what's the matter, there's nothing specific
found out.  After standing for about 15 minutes, replace
til your acquaintances, and after talking with them
I learned that I haven’t really started anything yet -
happened, although the exhibition should have already been open
take about 2 hours. Unable to bear it we went
drink beer.                               
                                         
 Arriving after drinking, we saw that
the exhibition opened, although they let us in far away
not everyone. After some time the mu-
zhik and handed out "price lists", these were
a kind of invitation cards, and
You could enter by presenting it. Finally -
then we made our way into the room. In the very
there were tables in the hall, and on the table
about 5 computers, a couple of screws and more
Large amount of waste paper. First of all
we went to the "computers". On the monitor one-
there was a video camera filming what was happening
active and displayed everything in real time
on the monitor screen in a tiny window -
ke.  Everything, of course, worked under the old
Windoz. Qualitythe images were terrible
what, and the number of frames per second per
the correct one did not exceed 10.                  
                                         
   Next stood Pentium II 400megetse with
LCD monitor with 24-speed
growth CD.  Spin on this "cool" ma-
bus feature film "Terminator 2"
directly from the CD. You're probably thinking
that it was an indescribable sight - yes,
something like that. The first thing I noticed was this
this is what the mode was, it was not full screen,
but only on 1 third of the screen. Unable to bear it,
we started throwing around "computer"
jargons and send fucks to Intel. Well,
nothing from 1 third of the screen, but when
send comments in the film with the bottom two
lines, then we just oh....,
the entire screen was painted over with a palette and clumsy
something was printed in the font below, after
Why the CD (24-speed) incessantly for a long time
time was spinning. Of course, they left us
proposals such as to attach to a computer
make a handle for rewinding CD. Yes,
I almost forgot, that same 400_x hundredth
the stump froze in 9 (nine) minutes 4 (four)
times!!! The most avid pissers have already become
laugh...                              
                                         
 We went further, and further away there was another onefrom the genus "Ebiem" of the "stump-like" family
nykh".  Spun on it from time to time
3D inscription, but with such a brake that one
one of my comrades said in a full voice
  - How is this possible, in my native language?
Sinclair in 3.5 megetse this thing will be
spinning without problems, but here it slows down
godless...                              
   A guy standing next to him heard the number 3.5
simply opened his mouth and only when
he was pushed in the back, he asked the number again
and laughed in panic. After such a pro-
dough is a good uncle from those who circle there
read this whole thing, asked us to delete-
Yes, that's what we did.                    
                                         
   Here you have "Days of intel."If only they had already
escorted, but we, the Sinclairists, were not offended
sorry, otherwise we will be offended and just write
big fuckdemo, then we’ll dare-
Xia. I'm a PC user myself and not like that.
I have a really bad opinion about this "computer"
re". It would be possible before doing this
exhibition, set everything up well, and for-
So let people into the premises. Otherwise
it turned out somehow bad, just like
“born to take, cannot give.”      
                                         
   Well, that's probably all, and you've got...
bark your similar stories about yours
all Sinclairists will recognize the city...-----                  
                                         
        Thinking out loud...         
                                         
    1999 The year that played the main role
role in the life and development of the Spectrum. Those
that we stayed on this platform and de-
we bark programs, we proved first of all
themselves, and the rest of the world, that
The steadily growing number of megahertz and me-
gigabyte will not be able to attract us to itself
into slavery.  On this platform we are like
"free birds" soaring above the ground. We
We do not belong to one system or another.
Hundreds of megahertz - replacing the inventor -
reality, millions of colors - fantasy
sunka, playability - original and non-
repeatable plot of games.  All this does
us unique!  Who will try to kill us?
he won't be able to understand. They laugh at us, but we
we just look at them with a grin and deep
sympathy.  Nobody called us here - we
We came on our own, even though we knew what we were getting into. More
There is no place yet where we could feel like this
free and pleasant, just like here. We are looking for
we hope and wait - year after year, month after
month, day after day. Someone's trying
make an oasis in the middle of the desert, similar to
ours, but again this is not the same... Remains
just wait.In the meantime, we are not standing idly by.
We make the most of it
what is. Only the most enduring remain
high: many leaders have already left us, but
there's still a lot left.                      
                                         
    Another year is coming to an end
expectations and hopes, one might even say
that this year has been very successful. Many
began to return, realizing that their home
here. Hope dies last - forward
di new millennium. What will it be like for
us?  How much longer can we hold out?
How long...