White_parrot - A set of jokes.

                                         
      COLLECTION OF JOKES.       
                                         
-------------------------------------------------------
                                         
  Epigraph: Computers have become so widespread
 into our lives only because
 our relationship with them is amazing
 very natural...        
                                         
    Definition:Programming is
what a programmer does alone with
computer in an effort to start a program
mu.                                      
    Note:Conceiving is the most pleasant thing,
nurturing is another thing entirely. Protect
computer! ( del *.c )                   
    Statistics: Programmers like
computers with large hard drives
ema, with large screens, but for some reason with
filters.    Programmers are annoyedcomputers with small memory: such
computers running WindoWs are very slow
and grumpy.                              
    Pattern: When each program
Rammista has one computer, that counts
normal.  If the computer belongs
the whole team, this leads to conflict
conflict between programmers and unhealthy people
state of the hard drive, programs on this
computer develop painfully and
Poor people often get sick with viruses.          
    Note:  If the programmer visits
several computers, it’s expensive for him
costs - we constantly have to support
live on them a similar state of the system,
copy back and forth the newest programs
we generally monitor the condition of the
how many cars, which is difficult.  God forbid
progress will connect all computers into a network
and they will be jealous.                   
    Paradox: When computers unite
connect to the network and one of them controls
by others, connected by a network, it is not
is considered vulgar!                        
    Warning: Programmers! You can't
allow computers to learn how to
be programmed, otherwise what will happen?not with us?                              
    Consolation: No information has been received so far
formation about not a single case when
programmers programmed each other! 
    Censure: To many programmers
I like working with the local network. Ta-
group programming must be subject to
avoid criticism.                          
    Achievement: Thanks to technical
progress, computer time has ceased to exist
rare and now you will no longer find pro-
rammist who meets with a computer
bath once a week, and on other days he
programs on paper.                
-------------------------------------------------------
                                         
  Soon the fairy tale will tell...  
                                         
(R) STEVER (Oleg Malakhov)                
(text taken from the newspaper "HUKPOH")                               
-------------------------------------------------------
                                         
   Material from a scientific student conferencerents on the topic "Slang of modern youth
zhi",held in the Moscow State
Open Pedagogical University
site (MGOPU) in April 1998. Authors
transcriptions: TROITSKAYA NATALYA and TROFIMOV
SERGEY.                                  
                                         
      INstead of FOREWORD       
      ====       
                                         
  I'll be honest: when the following
the text was read at the conference, the whole hall
literally stood on my ears. Laughter periodically
interrupted the speakers, and they repeatedly
had to stop, giving air
an opportunity for listeners to step away a little. Even
the professors sitting on the podium for a long time
couldn't stop....                
                                         
            Fairy Tale             
      about brother Ivanushka      
      u sister Alyonushka      
                                         
   Modern retelling of the classic    
    worksRussian folklore.     
-------------------------------------------------------
  Girls and Men! Have fun!       
There is a reason to load you up with an awesome bazaar
                                         
   Once upon a time there were two monsters. They had two
child - dude Alyonushka and cupcake Ivanushka.
Soon the monsters dropped their hooves. Fell in
miserable sister Alyonushka and brother Ivanush-
ka.  They were hanging out in a weird way, and it got flooded
sister Alyonushka to get money, and brother -
I took it with me. They dragged themselves all the way to
Trifigishchevo, and the terrible Ivanushka struck
dry wood:                                  
 - Damn, the dry wood is killing me!                  
 - Break off, brother Ivanushka, at the well
there will be diarrhea water.                   
   They trudge and trudge, the sun doesn’t
It shines like a child, the well is all the way to Kukuevo. heat
strains, sweat appears. It appeared
a cow's hoof - there's a ton of water in it.  
 - Sister Alyonushka!  Malicious dry wood
I got it, I lost my mind! I'll drink from the hooves -
tsa.                                      
 - It's scary, brother, you'll become a foal.
   Brother Ivanushka died.  They scratch
further. The sun is not shining like a child,
The kids are already in Kukuevo, the heat is annoying, sweaty
acts.  A goat's hoof was drawn,
a lot and more water in it.- Oh mom, give birth to me back, you dry bastard -
fucked. I'll drink from the hoof.              
 - This water doesn’t hold up. Illustration of a little goat
burst out! - Alyonushka did not behave. Friarnul-
Ivanushka, drank from the hoof and depicted
looked like a little goat. This is what hemorrhoids look like...
beamed!                                 
 At that time, one cool woodpecker was riding,
life - Sharapov, he has an arrow nearby -
ka was packed. I cut through the picture and dug up -
to my sister Alyonushka:                 
 - Why the hell are you so dead? What, can we
what tension?                           
 - Oh, pitchforks! My rotten market, rotten...   
   Yes, and she sent him away her fennie. Here
woodpecker says:                           
 - No need for dirt! Come marry me, -
In short, he had a crush on a chick. - You'll be cool-
Take that heifer and the goat with you. Hello
nushka strained her brains and married Sha-
Rapova came out.                            
   They live well, and the goat is with them
hanging out, eating with Alyonushka from one
dishes.  One day this woodpecker (that is
Sharapov) got out of the hut. It's catching up here
the malicious aunt is a witch. Hanging out
under the windows and let's crush the rotten bazaar,
load Gerla Alyonushka:                
 “Here,” he says, “limp, goat in
the gums are burning, let's go to the river -
Xia.                                      
   Sister Alyonushka fell for the rottenbazaar  This malicious echidna Alyo-
nushka to the river, put hemorrhoids on my neck and
threw it into the water. And herself, clear pepper,
let's mow down Alyonushka's girl, pretend
I realized the same thing and hung out at Shar-
Pova at the house. Nobody figured out this trick,
even the merchant slowed down. One little goat
screwed up. Killed by his sister, misses him
her: she doesn’t eat, she doesn’t drink. Jackal for life
along the shore and bazaar:                    
 - Oh, my sister. Picture yourself on the beach
uh, draw yourself!                           
   The echidna caught up with this cartoon and let's go
dig to Sharapova: kill it and kill it
goat Sharapova, it seems, is a toad after a goat.
Shit, but the echidna still tricked him into
this fenka. Toad, let's joke, bonfires,
boilers, sharpening knives - all the troubles. Co-
I cut through all the bullshit, and to Sharapov:      
 - Before gluing the fins, let them
Rinse the intestine river.                
 - Come on, throw yourself like a hog! - answer
Sharapov said. The little goat rushed towards the river
ku: let's smear the snot, sister
To catch Alyonushka:                      
 - Alyonushka, my sister, portray yourself,
draw yourself in real life.  Boilers, fires, knives
- everything is getting muddy. Soak me, damn it,
want.                                   
   Alyonushka finally caught up with what the ba-
zar: “Eh, brother Ivanushka, I feel weird.
I'm completely upset. I'm already getting glitched here." 
   And the toad whips the kid,caught one
bream and puzzled: “Go, hook the goat and
drive it to me." Killed the bream like a kid
Bazaar with my sister Alyonushka.           
   Warmed my ears and told Sharapova about it
matter.  An enormous crowd has drawn up to
river, threw a net and depicted Alyonushka
to the shore. Hemorrhoids were removed from the neck and treated
grass, and Alyonushka looked cool
chick, more diarrhea than she was. And the goat-
check the buzz caught and spread over the decel
pumpkin and portrayed himself as Brother Ivanushka.
The malicious toad got big money,
killed herself and threw off her hooves.              
                                         
   And there was a Zashchipatov session there. And I
I was there, I was smoking some shit, I swallowed some smoke, but
It didn’t catch one bit.                 
                                         
                 ------                  
                                         
    Who lives in the little house?     
                                         
(R) Grigory Nikonov, Boris Paleev       
(C) Leonid Kaganov                       
-------------------------------------------------------
 Housing.           
     shortallowance for children     
 on assembling a home computer
 from illiquid assets.         
                                         
 There is a small case on the table - not low, not
high, not recumbent, not SLIM, and the power supply is
meeting with him.                               
   A click mouse was running. Knock-knock! Who's in
lives in a box?  No one.  I'll be here
live, guard the building, run in the double
Rike, sleep on the mat.                  
   Suddenly the sound is heard again - knock-knock.
Who lives in the building?  It's me, mouse-
clique. And I'm the motherboard - screw-
which is scratched, dented by life, SX-25, ba-
ba berry again, your whole life is ahead - at least
Now under WindoWs-NT.  Well, since under NT -
then come on in.                           
   Suddenly, here and there. It's me, vidyushka-morgush-
ka, Trident-256, allow me for a moment
ISA slot sit down? Why not sit down?
when there is room? There are five slots, can you-
take.  Only the one on the edge is better; he
It works, but I don’t know about the others.       
   Suddenly, knock-knock again. Who's in the box
lives?  I, click mouse, I see sea-
Gushka, I am the motherboard, a little dented
that, and the processor is with me - wise as
Professor, who are you? And I'm a cartoon - bye-
you are confused, trains are with mewinceste-
ru and disk drive, work great in dry
Fuck the weather.  And also LPT port, GAME port and
two COM ports - such beauty. Well,
come in, sit in the ISA slot. Better of course
that one over there - as spacious as an armchair, not
look it's cracked. Let's live forever
Come on, drive bytes. And you, mouse, come,
don’t be shy, connect to the COM2 port.  
   Knock, knock, beep, beep. It's me - the keyboard
dusty fool. Three keys are missing, os-
the steel ones sink. There are no Russian letters, instead
then `Y` - `Z`. If you wash me, I'll earn money
I'm melting, maybe. Well come on over and get stuck in
connect, let's have fun together!           
   Cough, cough, how many years, how many winters! This
I, megabyte SIMM. Sim? Go! Yes you are
probably beaten! Am I beaten?! The Lord is with you!
In ten years there have been only three failures. I'm tired of
roads, wipe your feet with alcohol... Okay,
come in.  I am the motherboard - like snow
shovel Although without a cache, it’s insanely good
sha.  Come in, son, there's your nest at 30
legs                                     
   Knock-knock!  I'm a VGA monitor. 640 by 480 and
Nothing more. I have a suitcase with me - in it
protective screen.  Doesn't protect from anything
but it makes it difficult to watch: you’ll run away in an hour -
that's good for the eyes. Connect me to
Vidyushka, we'll play blinkers together. 
   Knock-knock.  Who's coming to our house? It's me, CD-
ROM. Single speed, no PLAY button - no
drive me away, have pity. I won't work, that's
it's clear -the interface is very non-standard
dark, but I’ll stand in the window instead of a plug
- no benefit, but a little more beautiful.    
   Someone is coming again. Knock knock, who lives
here?  I, clicky mouse, I, vidyushka-sea-
gushka, I'm the motherboard, not at all
a little old, and with me the processor is thick,
healthy, five-volt.  And also me, mu-
tyashka - bytes, confusion, I, keyboard -
dusty fool and CD-ROM - that's life together
everything.  Another sim - and figs with it, and also moni-
torus  Monitor? And I'm a MAXTOR hard drive, roaring
like a diesel engine. Half cylinders
no, the rest are bad. But five megabytes
what's left is so little. U
I have all the best in the world - DOS,
Norton Commander and F4 text editor. 
   Knock-knock! I am a five-inch drive company
IZOT - don't put your finger in my mouth. I chew dis-
chum salmon, like a housekeeper - sweets. And the mountains
dy - I don’t read everything, I have my own
own format. And I'm a cartoon - bytes
confused, come in, drive, take the cable
- that one over there, stick it in the back, it’s fine -
di.  We'll coo and flirt with you,
send bytes to each other. Yeah, just
before you coo, give me something-
something to gargle - I need
every day in the morning half a glass of alcohol for
cleaning the insides.  No, not a cleaning floppy
need, I'm speaking in Russian.  In the sense - in one gulp and
no snacks. Where do they get alcohol?             
   We are twoadditional ports - not
okay, damn it. Yes? Well, sit down in the slot -
that one over there, the second one from the edge. I'm from him anyway
I don't expect anything.                      
   And I have a 2400 fax modem, completely new.
Don't drive me away, for God's sake, I've been lying there for ten years
in stock. I keep the connection firmly - stay-
It's no use pouring me in. And I catch bizi
before it starts, in short, don’t be bored
will have to.                                
   Knock-knock! Hello bro, I'm AWE32, sound-
The map is famous, very cool,
only a little broken. I mean, I don't play.
Can I sit on the edge?                   
   And I'm a Robotron printer! 9 needles - 2
broken, 2 lost, 2 broken off, 2
became dull, there was only one left - it’s true, it’s rusty -
she's wailing. In general, a useless print, but
I can tear paper. I'm so good at tearing
what can be used instead of a shredder.     
 Well, friends, the complete set
with the periphery. It's time to turn on the count of three
four.  The click mouse closed its body,
tightened the screws and shouted out the window: “Well
Shall we sit down on the path?"              
   Let's take a solemn oath, guys: from
each according to his ability to work, each -
half a kilowatt.                         
   I am a mouse-clicker, I am a vidyushka-sea-
gushka;  I am the motherboard, in the middle
patch; I'm a processor - hot as agress-
rubbish;  I am a cartoon - confused bytes; I
- the keyboard is a dusty fool; I CD-ROM -you can't cut it down with an axe;  I - sim - ten
years, ten winters; I am a monitor - color like
tomato; I'm a disk drive - healthy as a chest of drawers;
We are two ports - it’s unclear to the devil; I
AWE32 - mentally pronounce words; I'm a fax
modem - made of forty microcircuits;  I'm a printer
Robotron - roaring like a mad elephant and me -
Winchester - we all solemnly swear
together - to work for another hundred years without failure
without knowing fatigue and peace!               
   Turn on the power button, it's here -
house On the back panel, if you look downwards,
with a careful glance, you can see this
thing, there is a gap under it, and if you put it in the gap
put your hand in, then there, in the depths up to the elbow,
to the right there will be like a small ditch, and
there's a button a little deeper somewhere
up and to the left. Press it quickly.          
   Bang bang!   Click!  The case started smoking!
Sparks flew in sheaves, smoke billowed out...
bam, the power supply is smoking, and so cheerfully
says: “Sorry, brothers, there’s some-
it's called 220. But I'm designed for 110 -
no way to hang a transformer! But you
don't be afraid, everything is sewn and covered - I already have
protection worked!  True, I’ll turn it off right away.
I couldn’t read - I hope there’s no one there
burned?" And the fairy tale ends here,
because silence was his answer...  
                                         
                  -----                  
                                         
           SUBJECT            
                                         
   In short, guys, let’s socialize culturally
nenko, talk, talk, about all sorts of things
there, this, well, parties, nice girlfriends,
and this, music there to discuss, this, Star
Lika, Lada Dance, this is what I really love
this is the case.  Only I’m parrying everyone at once -
I'm sorry, there are no swear words there
"horseradish" (well, you understand what I meant)
or like “the roof of your house” (well, you understand-
whether) or like "tram-tararam" (well, you get the idea)
or like "a male dog's wife" (well
you understand) or like "intimate detail of women-
body" (not the nose, Kolya sho -
Didn’t graduate from vocational school?) or like “person,
engaging in antisocial behavior"
(well, you get it), here.                      
   Looking for something about art, guys, passion
I love to cook.  about every existential
potentialism (I learned this on a dare - bottle
I received Smirnova, will you check it out?). Looking for a load
Let's talk about where the hottest chicks are. Not.
Ours are the best. In short, I remember yesterday,
ok, I'll tell you later. GATE TO OTHERS
NETWORKS Horseradish! Don't pinch your tongue, understand? MODE-
RATOR gee-gee, whoever guesses who gets it
splash                                    
                                         
                  -----                  
                                         
   Maria went to our dentist yesterday
doctor and saw that he had some kind of program
measure establishing dental software on
computer.  The programmer was skinny, with a long
unkempt hair and red streaks
gaping eyes.  “Fidoshnik?” - sternly
Maria asked the programmer. "Nope. I already
“I’m done,” the programmer replied.          
                                         
                  -----                  
                                         
   It turned out funny: I photographed
I went to change my passport at the age of 30. Chief
passport office silently took the passport from
new photo and said: "Come
in a week, the passport will be ready." I
finished: “Can’t we do it earlier?” Start-
Nick looked at me carefully and quietly
said: “Alexey Borisovich! I was waiting -
five years." ;-)                           
                                         
                  -----                  
                                         
   I once had a case: I was driving along the ruble
Levskoe highway on February 23 at about 10 p.m.
Some meditator trudged ahead of me,
who was driving at a speed of 30-40 km/h, and
It is prohibited to overtake anywhere on the ruble road. On-
we're the endwent to a fairly straight line
current, I turned on the high beams, overtook him
through the continuous and joyfully accelerated
somewhere up to 120 (and everywhere there - no more
60), after which he was caught by a traffic cop, where
I was charged with three serious charges at once
violations: overtaking through a continuous road, exceeding
slow speed and lack of documents for
car (I didn’t have a power of attorney). I
paid some rubles, then congratulated
wished him a happy holiday, then he told me
congratulated him, then I wished him success
service and sympathized that he
forced in such cold weather on a work holiday
thief, he took out from his bosom a flask with
cognac, we celebrated the holiday, and he
in front of me he radioed further to
I was not slowed down, after which he gave
fine back to me and with blessings from-
let me in. ;-)                              
                                         
                  -----                  
                                         
   I remember - I was setting up a grid in one
pretty cool office. Comes to me
one of the directors, holding out Hand-made
David's cigar and says: "Lesh, before-
you bet - this cigar rolled up charmingly
telny mulatto on her breathtaking
her leg, and the setting sun gilded it
amazing thighs..."  In an houranother director comes up and hands it to me
similar cigar and says: “Smoke-
smoke, but just remember that this cigar
the vile Cuban rolled on her fat
sweaty thigh, and at this time her husband was breathing
on her with a terrible fume from maize water -
ki..." ;-)                               
                                         
                  -----                  
                                         
   I was getting ready to go on business, took it from the
ma package with two laptops and two packages
with garbage (there is no garbage chute at home, so
everything is put into plastic bags,
which I then bring by car to
washing tanks). Towards the nearest tanks
I was lazy to go because I would have to
turn around, so I went straight,
looking for trash heaps with his eyes.  In a couple of
three kilometers in the distance near the house I
I see the tank I’m looking for, I make a sharp maneuver,
I drive up to him with a whistle and throw the pa-
chum salmon with garbage. I get into the car and suddenly
I'm leaving further.  After a couple of minutes I realized
I regret that I threw out the bag with the trash
two laptops, after which just as sharply
I go back, rummage in the tank, and find
a bag of laptops, I take it and leave.
                                         
                  ----- When I was a counselor at a pioneer camp,
I once received a note: “Dear Alek-
this Borisovich! This is written to you by Olya - the leader -
thaya of the third detachment. I have a huge message for you
please: send it to me, please
boy with a big stick!"... When I
























сумел  подняться  с  пола, то выяснилось,
что  Оле нужно было закрыть фрамугу в па-
лате. ;-)                                
                                         
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                  -----                  
                                         
  Хмм... А как смотрит муравей на храм?  
                                         
                Варианты:                
                                         
1) Как солдат на вошь.                   
2) Как баран на новые ворота.            
3) Как муж на приехавшую погостить тещу. 
4) Как жена на мужа-фидошника.           
5) Как кот на сало.                      
6) Как баран на жертвенный точильный ка- 
   мень.                                 
7) Как Колумб на пьяного индейца.        
8) Как курочка на дедушку с растегнутой  
   ширинкой.                             
9) Как абстинент на кинофильм "Астеничес-
   кийsyndrome."                         
10) Like Stalin on Trotsky.              
11) Like Trotsky on the inert masses.       
12) How inertial masses apply to the second law   
    Newton.                             
13) How the Cossacks mined salt.            
14) Like a trout on Hemingway.             
15) Like Faulkner on a Volkswagen.          
16) Like Herostratus on a box of matches.     
17) Like Vaseline... hmm... on your finger.     
18) Like Sarah to her Bernard.          
19) Like Petrarch to his Deineka.        
20) Like antimatter to an anti-Semite.       
21) Like Chatlanin to Mr. PZh.        
22) Like a zombie on a plate of dumplings.  
23) Like a flying saucer on a gliding one  
    dishwasher.                
24) Like Count Suvorov for the first star.   
25) Like Mick Jagger in the movie "Hard"   
    day`s nigHt".                        
26) How does the prophetic Oleg get together now?
 to indicate the absurdity of behavior.
27) Like in the garden, in the City, girl  
    walked, la-la, shu-ba-doo-ba!          
                                         
                  -----                  
                                         
   I have a new term for poetry
Comrade-graphomaniacs: poets. ;-)           
                                         
                  -----                  
                                         
Exler took a notebook from his pocket.
“You’ve already got me!” thought the note.
naya book.                              
                                         
                  -----                  
                                         
   "Mu-mu" written by Lermontov. Poor co-
roving  Such a cruel and ridiculous death.
Being accidentally shot by Onegin in
during the war in the Caucasus. ;-(              
   Moreover, the damned Irishman O'Negin
was subsequently found dead on the iron
but the road route. The linemen began to witness
ly funny scene - lies on the rails
a lifeless Irishman, and Anna standing next to him
Karenina, bare-haired, in her underwear, all
in tears, and shouts: “Move over!” ;-)     
   Few people know what preceded this
there is a stormy one-and-a-half nail scene,
when all members of the “families”, “godparents”
fathers" and "circumcision rabbis" was
finally the same cherry tree is divided
strawberry Marquis de Sade, for the heads of all
families were very hungry for strawberries,
through quite a few trips into the forest to pick mushrooms
up to the buttocks riding on your favorite horse
d'Artagnan - Bucephalous! And only co-
the famous Irishman O'Nelly knew for sure that
it was all his faultO'Borzini, who
visited the Jew Manases several times and found out
he has a treasured recipe for cooking
river honey from strawberry tubers,
befitting Brando's boisterous family
Marlonov!                                
   Anna Karenina endured with dignity
terrible news that the real
her lover's last name is O (My God) Nel-
was there - Levin! But the news that Le-
Vin managed to rob Citi Bank, which
was the guarantor of integrity and non-damage
susceptibility to any specific virus
co-strip of the Quiet Don Caerleone family,
forced the unfortunate girlfriend of his days
the harsh seek support from a bright enemy
all the ruling Oyabuns - the elusive Joe
Kukera-Tartagli, who fulfilled his
impartial duty, by universal
cutting out all the cherry pits
with the power of a vulgar chainsaw, which (admittedly
to the shame of the members of all families) he ran
95 gasoline of the same version that
causes horror in all sick-minded right-
strong parts of the creatures' bodies.           
   Michael Corleone immediately remembered that his
the true father always appeared to his mother
and the notorious Peter O'Toole, so he
blew up his doomed daughter-in-law in the car
(who still hasn't signed the contract
for filming in further episodes) and sent
I decided to write a plaint against Tartaglia and his
pawnbroker friend- little sheriff
village that became famous only
by the fact that at one time she refused the muscular
that idiot - Rimbaud wash on Saturday in
bathhouse, citing some outdated
relic pre-review committees.             
   Anka the machine gunner (in the world - Karenina)
couldn't survive the shame of passing away
Don Pedro Caerleone, who at dinner
choked on the brain of a wild monkey. She's already
was ready to give herself up to be devoured by the wild
matadors, when the vile O'Negin seduced
her to make mock-up of the hunt for slo-
new, where the Irish extremualist - Not-
Gin was going to call her right after
the end of the holy holiday - Formazan! 
   Finding himself on the rafters of the London multi-
rulers, Nelly-Levin experienced such a powerful
saxaul excitement, with a cry:   
 - Consider me a kibbutzist! - he collapsed -
zeroed backwards obliquely parallel to the
Nelly's pendicular dirty sock,
who could not close the terrifying za-
tyranny nirvana anti-tantric
Levin's bureaucriticism.                   
 “It’s the end of me!” cried Anka the machine gun.
great, but the desired result is still not
received.                                
 “You can’t understand Russia with your mind!” she cried.
one more time.                                 
 - Damn, you can’t measure it with a common arshin! -
Anka cried, and only those nearby
The birches repeated this silent cry!       
 - She has- to become special!, - in the last
once she tried to hide her illiteracy -
pride in front of higher helicopters...       
 - You can only believe in Russia! It is possible
but it’s not necessary! - said the person sitting nearby
drinking lineman, who always distinguishes
started with the wisdom of an old doormat.      
                                         
 R.S.  However, it all ended very
good: the next train is three hours late
weeks, much higher than expected, and
frozen Anka Karenina returned to her
native home; asked oats, goat, etc.
small livestock.  After that I began to live
live and hemorrhoids make money on your
fishing, because she did not pay taxes on the year-
catching livestock, so transfer it.  
                                         
                  -----                  
                                         
      Recipe for March 8:       
                                         
1) Eat a liter of sour cream.                  
2) Eat half a head of cabbage.            
3) Drink a glass of parsley tincture.      
4) Drink a couple of glasses of the “golden” infusion    
   root".                               
5) Massage your big toes.     
6) On the morning of March 8, submit yourselfwife in the village 
   tel.                                 
7) On the morning of March 9, cover your wife with a sheet 
   (she won't wake up for a week).        
8) Spend the next couple of weeks at   
   dacha in the company of nymphomaniacs from medical 
   lishcha (the wife will no longer object).   
9) On April 1, call home and say -
   not: “Go to bed!”                
10) Arrive home, fill the bath with colo-
   ice, lie down in it and lie there for a day
   ki.                                   
11) The next couple of months - sports
only at the computer, don’t go to bed
later than 9 pm and drink at night
a glass of kefir. As a contraceptive
take a couple of tablets re-
Lanium.