How I learned to drive.
(C) 1999 Alex Exler WWW.exler.ru
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How did I learn to drive? Very much so
I was just studying. I went to driving school and was
attached to an instructor and studied, taught-
I studied, just as the great Le-
nin, although he wasn’t talking about cars at all.
By the way, I really liked the instructor
nervous Why do they hire people like that?
- I don’t understand. You might think that I'm from
I’ll remember his screams and screams faster - where
which pedal is located? By the way, from them
all the problems started. What a fool
I was thinking about making three pedals when a person has
just two legs? What nonsense? Well, let's say
professional organists with this help
It's pretty easy to curl. They're not like that
quantity to press are used to. And I have
the experience of pressing the pedals was only after
five years of playing the drums, to
which could be treated with understanding.
But the instructor, dumbass, still doesn’t
could understand why I'm leading with my left foot
easy pedal rhythmbrakes, and right
I tap eights on the gas. I, of course,
I agree that the car was moving somehow
jerkily, but he could show at least some
some teaching talent! For example
measures, would suggest that I not perform "Deep
Purple",and a lullaby. The car was moving
would be much smoother.
I still don’t understand why he was so
unhappy? I entertained him with conversation and
anecdotes, and he just sat there with his eyes wide open
with puppy eyes and continuously swallowed
dollars However, he took short breaks
lal, during which he reported a lot
interesting information about me, my mind-
venic abilities and driving style. Polo
bench press, slander about my mental abilities
I could still survive. But caustic remarks
comments about driving style - just a conclusion
acted out of themselves. Who cares about my ma-
ride ners? This is my style! That's how I see it
the world around us and ourselves in this iron casing
timid. By the way, hitting the rear speed
growing on trash cans I performed better
everyone in the group.
This strange man was also outraged
the fact that I was constantly trying to start
already running machine. And I'm to blame for this
by the way, he was. How can you determine
pour - is the car started or not? Only bythe sound of a running engine. And I just
got behind the wheel, like an instructor immediately
started yelling, drowning out not only the work -
engine, but also the car radio, including
at full volume. By the way, the music
He didn’t like it either. And me during
she calmed the ride.
Then, my instructor had a strange
ability to distract me while driving
various trivial questions. He has
there was just some kind of mania to ask: “where
main road?" He lost this road
constantly. What do I have to do with it? You lost -
you look for your main road. Personally, I
nya the main road has always been where I am
I'm going.
Even the most
trivial things. For example, I stalled
somehow on the tram tracks. Yes, I stalled!
What's wrong with that? Well, don’t start right away
could, because the gas pedal didn't pump gasoline
rocked out, playing along with the music pouring out of the radio
song. But why be so nervous when you see
the approaching tram? You might think
that the carriage driver is blind and will not see ma-
tire She saw and even tried to
slow down. And she almost succeeded.
Just some kind of hook in front a little
dented the door on the instructor's side. But I
he apologized and peacefully offered toдать забвению этот инцидент. Так пред-
snowflakes, snowflakes and snowflakes
хотел. Орал так, this is the most stupid
look into his stomach. I'm from these screams
I was so nervous that I tried to start my mother
tire with the trunk key. Of course, I don't want to
Well it turned out that this key broke
right in the ignition switch. But when under control
they say, and you won’t do that.
Where are these instructors raised - I
I have no idea! As possible while driving
around the city constantly asking what's wrong
starts this or that sign that the traffic cops
they were specially hung all over the city,
to annoy motorists? He me
I was just tormented by these signs. What the heck?
rit, means a white triangle with a red
edging? How do I know what it means?
yeah? Some kind of magical symbol, probably.
Masonic sign. However, no. I'm doing something
I'm confused. The Masonic sign is when inside
a triangle of eyes is depicted.
By the way, these traffic cops with their signs
- also decent scoundrels. We somehow os-
stood at the turn, and there was this one hanging there
a strange sign on which healthy letters -
you wrote “STOP” in foreign language. Ho-
It’s good that I studied English and immediately
guessed that the inscription means "STOP
TALKING". That is, stop chatting in Russian
lem. By the way, I immediately fell silent, and
this instructor continued to chat like a co-
rock.By the way, he doesn’t have his own rules.
performs.
In general, keep in mind that it is very difficult
but adapt to idiotic requests
instructor. For example, he always demands
shaft so that I can travel sixty kilometers
per hour What the hell, sixty kilos
meters, when firstly - we were riding
only half an hour a day, and secondly - that
What a traffic jam on the streets! I'm barely twenty
managed to cover kilometers. Here they are
impossible demands are made. And you -
spin as you please. You should also see how
he squealed when I pulled out of a traffic jam
a completely free center line. Where
logic, you ask? I did it cleverly
energetic maneuver, avoided the traffic jam, and he
yells again.
In short, we are tired of each other - horror
simple. I won’t lie, I had my own op-
limited shortcomings. For example, I completely
It was in vain that he confused the gas with the brake,
when I approached the wall. But I'm sorry-
Xia! And a small dent on the hood
wasn't worth such strong expressions.
But the most unpleasant thing was that
that I never passed the exam. Moreover,
again, through no fault of my own. Examiner
it was his own fault for standing too close to
car, andI walked around him a little
leg. But to use the official
Marriage for personal purposes is ugly! I'm all-
before that I scored 8 penalty points
out of ten. I still have two points left
we were in trouble, so this traffic cop kicked me out
Zu after I moved off his leg.
This was a personal attack on me,
which is completely unacceptable in official
al relationships. I, of course,
I went to complain, but my
the instructor who was so nervous
seeing me that when I try to take a sip
a lot of water, bit off half a glass.
In general, I have some kind of painful feeling
I am left after this driving school... Not-
professionals work there - I’ll tell you for sure
I say. Just don't think what it is
stopped me from buying a car. Nothing
similar! I bought it and go. Without rights, but with
responsibilities. By the way, traffic cops are on
street - quite sincere guys. I'm everyone
I explain that my wife went on a business trip
and specifically took away my license so that I
I didn’t hit on girls. Believe it - almost
everyone gets into position and often even fines
they don't take it!
And in the fall I will definitely go to take the
rights. If you are colorblind, of course, I will cure it.
By the way, I don’t understand why colorblind people
such restrictions? Why at all?colors
differentiate? If the lower traffic light is on,
that means you can go. If the top one, then
you need to drive very carefully. And on average
You don't have to pay any attention at all, so
how the traffic cops themselves don’t know why he
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