Room with laughter - smells in and around: funny story from the magazine PTUCH.

<b>Room with laughter</b> - smells in and around: funny story from the magazine PTUCH.

    (C) Ptuch

    (R) Blade / Triumph.

    ------------------

       Smells - in and around


    Smells - a more powerful tool for
emotional impact than anything that
I could read in my entire life ...
'll Never write, I will
sniff. And learn to sniff need to
childhood. You can, of course, pulling
plastic bag on his head,
enjoy a heavy heart "moment", but
it if you zamordovanny
children from disadvantaged families,
which is nothing more spicy
unable to come up with. But if
carefully sniffed, around so much
wonderful smells funny substances
kind and gentle fragrances, by whom
it is simply impossible to pass! The smell of grass and
mushrooms, the smell of the train, where he lives grandmother
odor itself grandma, the smell of fresh
shit and the smell of stale shit smell
CD-ROM and the smell of a DJ machine
Oil and machinist, welder, welding
apparatus and mother welding ...


    Delay of at fashionable parties - nothing
compared with the flight of a successful
smell. My mother was a teacher
biology at school, so from the
early childhood, I firmly believed that
parrot dead rat smell of formalin.
Formalin envelops the heart, he
stimulates the imagination, creating images
transparent skeleton and soft tissues
small furry carcasses placed in
bank. Formalin is distinguished by its
radicalism, it has a lot of pathos and
children's tears.


    Strawberry smells delicious, and Snivel
fun. The image of snot is closely related to
feeling a little pristupleniya. Nozzles
remains thin, unexplored matter.
Strawberries are the same - just a blatant and
carefree berry that grows in the corner
garden. Although both the nozzle and the strawberries are soft
to the touch, but there is a strawberry
touching stuff, and the nozzle has a style and
some playful mood, so she
more in keeping with the image of spyware
life. And the strawberries reminds me of a juicy
clitoris. Not for nothing is called strawberry
something spicy. Many say that
semen smells like mushrooms or salted
cucumbers. But one of my friends
claimed that the smell and taste sperm
can determine the age, nationality
and the temperament of a man ... And proved it
in practice. And still can not
Lodging: shows and proves.


    How to start a home? Not to
ABC, for sure. Recollection
little rascals begins with
sad smells (I to).


    That bird turd smells sad and
when you're little, you feel it
particularly clearly. As a child, in general, all
interesting and fascinating. True,
elegant scents do not come immediately, they
do not feel in his childhood, any
elegant bouquet requires special
training and special talent. Not everyone
given in a 3-year old female smell
body and enjoy it.
Even when I was young, thin
Precious scents did not decompose in my
spinal cord of the primitive sensation.
The habit of not noticing a fragrant
diversity makes us a simplified
consumers. Smell - the main property
present life, which we are daily
litter, instead of
enjoy.


    Small and shameful smell of
of fearful childhood flows into
stage of a mature flavor when we
we finally obtain a piece of life,
his adult experience. A cloud of smell - is
not just a random hit of some kind
molecules in the atmosphere, and a way to live
freely and with taste. Has always been
something extravagant to materialize
invisible fragrance, and putting the instrument
to all appearances, to concentrate its
exposure to the limit. Therefore, with a squeal
and cries bathe in nedolyudi
fragrant baths, poured over
cans of spirits, take a shower from
rose oil.


    The civilized world is lying. Therefore, he
all have. Ironed sleeves, cream
for shoes, "Kenzo", vanilla
condoms, "Head and Shoulders" lie
his whole appearance and smell. Small,
nimble molecules penetrate into the nose of
tubules enter the skull and
fuck both hemispheres up until
owner of the brain does not believe in their
immortal soul and unique personality
and outstanding taste. In one of the stories
Sorokin's pioneers in the woods under cover
darkness ate shit hands, furtively
looking around. Yes, still quite
recently swallow shit was a revelation.
And now? Now everything is different.
Written new novels about new people.
Now do not just chew the shit in the dark
hiding, shivering from each
careless rustle.


    A new generation of eating shit in public,
revelry and singing popular
songs! No need to twitch, do not
hide, everything is accessible and
habitual.


    But, alas, the scent becomes weaker at
long-term operation, happiness goes
irrevocably. The miracle is
everyday life. Long overdue
tighten and create something like
aromatona, trap odors -
device for recording and storing
flavors. Approached zonked tradeswoman
fish, caught his scent apparatus
smoked herring and go somewhere for
collective-farm pig farm. It would be possible
refresh emotions at any time. Also
thinking about creating a global
Encyclopedia of smells. It is interesting to sniff
Princess Diana's ears, armpits dead
astronaut, who turned into
artificial earth satellite, the smell of earth
Promised pissed Arab
terrorists; klaviatutu Bill Gates.
It is interesting to know the historical smells:
the smell of an Egyptian mummy, bugs,
crushed by the king's bed;
blown engine, the first Chinese
soap. And yet, probably remains the only
keep the smells in the bank. Not
central, and in three-liter. Halls
smell, the cover screwed, glued birochku
and on the shelf. Or grandfather you in a jar
breathe, and you're screwed. And in a jar
tap. Grandfather died, and you sit,
gradually discover, is applied.
Rest in peace, beloved grandfather. I
For example, fans of the smell
slaughterhouse. Jar keeper
smells "Aromaton-1" - the most perfect
to date, design, and
Meat is now with me for life
forever. And write in his will
let me be buried in the flavor of the massacre in
the aroma of sausage shops. The more
peculiar smell, the more buzz from
He can catch.


    Take, for example, a bunch. There is nothing
more unpredictable. Want
to restrain, compress the buttocks, tuzhishsya,
but you can not cope with the forces of the most
Nature. Intestine does not tolerate violence.
Pernul - and above you laugh your
ignorant fellow. Idiots! Better
Would you perdeli continuously than to do something
what are you doing! I had my way, I would
elected presidents of the smell. Groom
should look for a narrowed closed
eyes - the smell of the crotch.
Art fart does not belong to the people
because it is intimate
experience each. Got its
beautiful under a blanket and fart at the Well
different ways, with modulations and musical
transitions ... That's it, simple
human happiness! If you love
man - hence, his scents from mleesh
more than from their own. Respectively
fart - not only embarrassing, fart
is necessary.


    In general, the smell should be treated
how to own children - with undisguised
tenderness. The smell is not should you
upset. Here, for example, a kakya
Giant's aunt on the bus
spreads a cloud of its
rotting liver and rotten teeth.
Is she not right in his
immediacy? The smell is not cause
You moral discomfort - if
vchustvovatsya him to be a natural
component of real life.


    Of course, you can vzgrustnutsya and
vzlebednutsya if, before you denounce
windy smell of a girl who threw
you. In love, your nose is more than
other organs. Love is the result of
exchange of atmospheric phenomena: I'll
farted, you're nabzdela - that's nice,
Tram Pam-monument. Smell - the universal
international language that does not require
Translators and immediately understandable to all.


    In a tribe of cannibals in New kukuruku
Zealand woman who wants to
like a man who routinely rubs
the body in urine and never washed. I
confident that this can be a rewarding experience and
to adopt, especially in manufacturing,
in the hot shop where they make cakes.


    In the near future will be
create a symphony of scents, combining
fragrances under the laws of beauty and
perfection, blowing new life into the noses
listeners. For example, the stink lily
replaced by the aroma of burning plastic, and
followed by a smooth transition to the smell
puppy dog urine. Odors can be
sampled, play with the end
amplify and mix.


    Will olfactory DJs come out
smelly albums. Stinky products
will be sent on a mandatory
Order by pipeline into every home
(Instead of hot and cold water).
In short, be prepared for a merry life,
Train and smell each other ...