Virtual Worlds #01 31 декабря 1999

Юмор

Spending - Sex and Fido. Humorous raskaz about What about actually making love inveterate fidoshniki.

   Nine and a Half Points



    (Dir. Goldesku Fidolini)

    Jury Vasiliev, 2:5032 / 6.11



  In the background - austere landscape lonely room 
holostyakafidoshnika. A narrow bed, just not designed to study

sex, the walls are covered with a
absence and bystropachkaemostyu
Wallpaper printouts of the World
nodelista. Through unwashed already
20 years (to the monitor is not blikoval from the sun), the 
window light falls passing day. On a huge table, compiled from 
school boards, placed on a box of

under monitors piled minimidi-and maxi-Tower, printers
UCS, soldering irons, keyboard,
Print your favorite lie from dzhipegov fileecho R50.GIF.PORNO,
erased beyond recognition. From
furniture is still present only
refrigerator, which proudly
rises "oboedelatel -
EPSON DFX-8000.


  The camera zooms out and we see
our hero - with a smile of an idiot
on the lips, daisies behind his back and
uhami crimson with embarrassment. A
Here in his den, and the reason this comes to a strange-looking 
- a girl. The last girl was here, well so do not lie ....

no, do not remember ... She is beautiful, as beautiful as ... as
Russian Courier, no - HST,
connected to a DEC ALPHA SERVER!
Her lips, painted in the latest fashion, like the branches of 
coral. Canned. Her huge eyes with eyelashes, scorched by 
lighting a gas from plates, naive and gentle look at

our hero because of -10 diopters
-astigmatic bifocal glasses. Gum, connecting shackle
points at the back (rim 5
size larger, so always falls) and stresses
accentuates her gorgeous hair
Color svezhevykurennogo ash
Marlboro Lights. It freezes on
the threshold, shyly adjusting her hair. All twenty. Others 
dropped out after 10 years of Monitor the use of High

Radiation - "Zhan". Dress,
a gift from her compassionate neighbor sometime in the first 
class, highlights its similarity to the girl child. For the same

because it coyly reveals navel pierced ringlet
with hanging pendant on it "ZYX -
intelligence, honor and conscience of our epoEhi.


  In her delicate girlish hips
through the black as pitch, down
visible tattoos: his
poyntstrochki and forever
imprinted line heroes FIDO
- Eagle wounded by some
hunter, Bocharova, untimely
decomposed alive by their own sexual passions,
Basile Dolmatova sent
together with proteins and an arrow in
stolons Proxima Centauri, as proof of our
reasonableness, and also - what a joke
us bad.


  Mild gait was achieved purely feminine beauty, malenkm
sekretikom - legs in woolen
socks and sneakers stepped stealthily, occasionally tapping his 
nails sticking out the front shoe. 


  In a word - very Spring and
Love visited the home of a lonely hermit, plowman binary
cornfields, the reaper and the sower kilobytes
CRC-Errorov.


  Not at all embarrassed by it
took off his jacket, left only
dress. He immediately by 20
items jumped pressure on
a few minutes lost carrier.
When the carrier returned to its
girlfriend is already heavily trampled
keyboard your fingers,
leaving the characters from scratch
carefully stubby nails.
(Prior to the legs she could not reach,
so we had to cut holes in sneakers.). He got up to look at what 
it does but at a distance of two meters it

nose smell shibanul tender
a girl's body, take a bath, well just two, can be
- Three months ago. Hormones
refused to obey him and
bearing left again, this time
long. Judging by the time - ran to the pharmacy. From Down's 
syndrome is not accompanied by the flag (what a shame! - Go to 
the Down not notifying boss!) it returned the sound of Carrier. 
Favorite Shprotster burst like a nightingale, shaking chtoto. 
Our hero, shaking in bull head to his feet and kept crashing 
into the wall, reached the same to the table. Trembling arm was 
included the second computer, normally used for debugging

whistled the modem and - oh sweet
moment! - After only five minun
they merged in the ecstasy of the chat. IM
unprecedented - they smelt each other, heard squelch
each other's noses and fierce
wheezing in very sharp phrases ...


  Two Moon Junction was immediate and passionate - after all
Only four hours later she moaned
"I'm bo-olshe can not-at !...", in
Exhausted hengapyas and sliding
not sex. He lost his head - never
another woman with him was not so
well and he did not meet her friends
so passionate. He sat down beside her and asked:


  - Hey ... Êàî ... You this,
he likes beer?

  - Ask! - She replied, widely
opening her eyes almost jumped out of points. - What

  - IS ?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  - Well I'm here ... that ... Lexicon
hachit going, Duc himself with ...


  Despite the fact that her unpleasantly scratched Mentioned
Lexicon ("And can he - a pervert"), she gladly accepted, and 
they ran, pushing each other, pinayas and biting, to the 
desired fridge ... 


  Close-up - opening
refrigerator, scored 90%
Bottles with the "Zhiguli." The rest - and a little stew
condensed milk.


  (She) - GOD Career! As
I am ..... 8-) ~~~~~~~~~

  (He) - Wait! (In alarm for
contents of his fridge
jeopardize rashachivanie
'Lexicon')

  - Che is?

  - Let me do it myself, but you
Close your eyes and taschis!

  - OK.


  She sits down, closes his eyes.
Saliva flowing from the semi-open
mouth at the bare feet, leaving
brilliant track to thick hair.


  He opens a jar tushnyaka
"Slither", as the name and flavor, cooked
out of it though. She is grinding
cringe. Begins to smell
reach its flapping in the wind
nostrils ... He has a fork prick
healthy couscous tushnyaka, conducts
around her nose. She begins
nervous. He stroked her lips
jelly, frozen meat around. She
tries to catch his lips, she
is excited and begins to moan. He lozhit meat into her mouth. 
Not Before she could chew her lips

press oneself invigorating neck
beer bottles. She eagerly, with
* SLURP, washes down. Her lips voluptuously slap in anticipation
new batch of stew. He conducted the piece around her nose, gives
her head of garlic. She manages to
chew it in half, before tubal begins to cry.
He immediately fills the "fire"
beer. She drank a bottle of ... second ... the third ... Her 
body sweet shudders passing

through a life-giving liquid ... The fourth bottle is slightly 
different in shape - it's ketchup "Chile! She drank half of it,

coughing, wheezing ... Dress splashed with ketchup ... He gives 
her a hand fork and moves the whole

Open tushnyak. While she was there,
He pours her remnants of ketchup, sliding his hands along the 
red thinner, smearing it over her body.

She breathes heavily - she fed and
such an orgy of affluence excites her to the limit. He drives 
to her lips pickle, stale on the shelf of the fridge ...

She catches his mouth, but instead
He gets struchek pepper.
Excitation reaches the limit.
Both scream. It is from the charring of the mouth, it is - from 
scratched her face and a good hitting banks tushnyakom in the 
eye. 


  Suddenly, their groans and rattles louder DFX-8000, standing 
on refrigerator - have come fresh

World nodelist and he began
to print, as always.
The ring and rolls of paper are gradually hidden from us now 
raging orgasm - he poured it on hair treasured jar of condensed 
milk and they ride each other's arms, in a huge puddle of beer, 
ketchup, condensed milk and ecstasy ...