ZX Format #01
31 октября 1995
  Юмор  

a rest - Something: one day in the life of a programmer

<b>a rest</b> - Something: one day in the life of a programmer
(C) Kilat Amor.

           One Day

     the life of a programmer.
________________________________


   Sun was shining brightly. Gaily
twittering birds, enjoying the fresh
Days, the trees rustled noisily
leaves and each leaf is nodding in
cycle to its neighbors. A breeze clocked dust along the street 
and fresh breath rushed into every open window.


   Programmer Vasechkin, wincing from the bright sun rays, so 
brusque and insolent sprawled on his gnarled face, opened the 
left eye. The left hemisphere of his brain podzaklinivshego 
gradually begin to function. Slowly emerged which - somehow, 
awakened Orava Clever ideas zakoposhilas slowly forming in the 
gray matter Vasechkina kind of an anthill. Without raising his 
head, Vasechkin turned his eyes to open a clock and, surpassing

himself bleary eyes focused. With difficulty analyzing only 
that the information received, he was able to assess the 
situation: the clock showed 14.15. Hours Vasechkin never 
trusted, the more his own, and therefore not

succumbing to provokatsiyu, rolled his eyes and again fell into
a wonderful dream, filled with so pleasant for him visions ...

   ... Horrible mad computer - a monster, viciously directed the
on Vasechkina their limbs and
entangling his feet colored
wires, mischievously winked
one eye to monitor and
angrily burst out laughing. Vasechkin vainly tried to escape, 
but was even more shrouded in flexible tentacles. Trying to 
break the shackles, he issued a wild cry, and then another, 
scored the air and screamed again, still scored again yelled 
... Realizing, finally, that it's just stupid nightmare

Vasechkin opened his eyes and was surprised to find in their 
hands it is not clear from grafted

joystick wire, from which he
tried unsuccessfully to break
INSTANT ago. Discarding it,
Vasechkin stretched, and finally -
then withdrawing the body from the state of the question mark 
with the elements of the lotus posture of Indian yoga, and sat 
down. Zvonko poured into the phone. Relish yawn, Vasechkin 
sadly picked up the phone and thickly muttered the word 
"A-A-ALLO-O-O-O-U.  - Hi, Vasechkin. - Call

pal Petrov. -
 - Good-oh-oh-oh ... - Vasechkin
yawned again. - What do you call?
 - Oh. What are you doing?
 - Well ... Now I will build upon
one protsedurku in assembler ...

   Vasechkin really planned to sit down for morning assembly,
and to confirm his intentions, pressing his shoulder up the 
phone to his ear, turned on the computer.  - Of course. And I 
came up here Another pribambas to your program. Tell us?

 - Go on ...

   Began regular daily
a conversation between two friends. Petrov
unrestrained zeal vtalkival
crazy ideas specifically for
newly conceived Vasechkinskoy
program. He happily agreed with each and was willing to do 
them, and ideas, by the way, was a great set. All of them,

collected together, formed a
a warehouse is especially clever ideas
(OPA), which has been very
For a long time (EFA) gathered dust on
skladovskih shelves. All OAM in
together with the EFA were
all powerful potential Vasechkina as a programmer, and upon 
closer examination, it is obvious have great historical value 
for future generations ... But soon Smart Thoughts of both 
comrades exhausted and on the agenda of today's telephone 
conversation the question arose a new discussion

toys, free zapoluchennoy
Vasechkina one friend
distributerbrotera. Further
a conversation between two friends, probably
given here should not be so
as basically, in addition to emission of
saliva and vigorous enthusiasm for the game, useful information
It did not contain. And so, after
half-hour of delight, his hands
Vasechkina involuntarily drawn to disketnitse, the disk with the
most toy was placed in
diskovert that loud roar, get an object torture
for its electronic womb.
 - What, the assembler of Georgia? -
asked Peter, catching the tube sounds familiar.
 - Yeah. - Without batting an eye, said Vasechkin and glanced 
at his watch. After receiving another batch of information on 
the status of temporary matter Vasechkin thought. All

his brain bones were strained, and his thoughts were staring. 
And he thought about such severe in terms of world

the fate of humanity simple programmer, who is so
unfairly bore down nearly impossible task of making the bulk of 
information in general intellectual capacity of our planet ... 
Realizing that he is not other than as a vital element of the 
international community, the loss of which can supply

threaten the very existence of
humanity, or so at
As the best part of it, Vasechkin,
proudly and gravely shmygnuv nose
thought: "Work work and even
the best minds of many civilizations
time spent in quiet,
calm, useful and healthy
rest and pleasant entertainment.
So now I just need to relax and unwind. "
Itself has matured vexing question: "What a rest, if you
woke up an hour ago, and
during this hour did not
doing? "But resourceful mind, yet
present in the brain Vasechkina found the answer to this 
insidious question: "... had to have a rest (from what you 
would think ?)... coming from work. "And the best

Holidays for the owner kamputera -
is, of course, time spent with a joystick in their hands,
saliva in the mouth and then under the arms. So Vasechkin with 
a calm heart and soul of good-bye to a friend (who was 
convinced that he was here - that befall new peaks programming

for which he was inordinately proud, although
and felt a slight sense of
envy) and grabbed the hand
joystick wire from which recently tried to break away. "Well
Here ... Now a little game on,
ten minutes, with a maximum fifteen, but ...", then - thought
Vasechkin by clicking on the "START".

   Outside the window the sun was shining,
fun yapping little dog, who -
then frankly otrugivaya at its
dog's tongue. Pigeons cooed randomly, trying to dig out that - 
lint near the local garbage dumps. Close

sparrows hopped that loud
chirped, stealing pigeons tidbits.

   Vasechkin PLAYED! Concentration
adrenaline in his blood here - here
going to reach a critical point. In his eyes shone a light mad 
passion. Poor navigation crunched, but all

also constrained attempts Vasechkina
unscrew the handle from the base.
That lasted for three hours
unsuccessful attempts to pass
third level of the game, but at least
kill - nothing worked. Having decided to rest a bit (and then 
the index finger is numb and not could click on the "FIRE") 
Vasechkin again looked at his watch. He was surprised when I saw

19.25 on the dial. Confirming
time on the phone, and being
sure during the game
computer he had been experimenting newcomers to curtail
time Vasechkin found the
courage, gritting his teeth and rattling
Bone-in, click on the "RESET". Do - or you do not
like, there came a certain day to day state of apathy, I wanted 
to sleep, so Vasechkin previously thrown in throat a couple of 
stale sandwiches and drank iced tea color

urea, slumped on the sofa.
Planning to lay ponder the work ahead, he comfortably settled 
down and started using the bubble sort in the brain of its Smart

Thought. Obviously, Vasechkin used the wrong algorithm
sorting, because after
two minutes, his thoughts began to get confused and agitated. 
Deciding that violate their brains - employment illogical, 
Vasechkin allowed his thoughts to feel the role of horses. Such 
a decision Vasechkina liked it. He beautifully imagined how his

ALREADY complete program takes first place in the lists of 
greatest hits, as it splits from the telephone calls 
appreciative fans as he Vasechkin is in the spotlight among the 
best programmers ...... Pleasant thoughts wrapped blurred 
consciousness Vasechkina and under their impression of his mouth

stretched in a blissful smile.
While in this state, even in
Within a few tens of minutes, Vasechkin suddenly realized
that here - that's on TV begins
Regular 192,842th series of his
favorite TV show. Jumping with
couch, he turned on the television.

   Several hours passed. As
luck that the TV show was full of interesting programs, and
tear your eyes away from the blue
Screen Vasechkin forced himself
only after the transfer of the rural
hour for residents of the tundra "(in her
told about a new variety of dwarf pumpkin, adapted to
growth in the Circumpolar) ...

  Vasechkin still sat at the computer and even download the 
assembler, but after row


     10 ORG 50000

     20 ENT $
occurred zakisanie brains. More
some time Vasechkin stupid
staring at the monitor and nervously
crunched fingers. Then tried that - it started, but after a 
couple of rows back broke off. In noggin mature cunning plan, 
to warrant another otlynku of programming. At this time the 
arguments were unconvincing, but inner voice without Vasechkina

end insisted that the man
should follow your feelings
and inspiration, as a programmer
as a creative person in general
should work only in those bright moments when he is visited by 
the muse. More philosophical to speculate what - while 
Vasechkin unearthed among a heap of CDs my favorite music mega -

demoshku and running it, blissfully
dragged to ...

   The phone rang. Vasechkin
only after the fifth call came
from the image of a crazy fan and
picked up the phone. Again called Petrov.
 - Hi, Vasechkin. That, from demoshki taschishsya? - Asked 
Peter, hear the music on the other end of the wire.

 - Yeah. Relax.
 - Of course. And what about your program? Many wrote that?

   From this issue on the soul Vasechkina was like - that 
restless ...  - Oh ... Write here little by little ... - He 
answered vaguely.  - It's good. Write, write, and I

then there's something - that thought ...

   And again, the conversation turned to
theme of "Oh, how it would be great ...", which this time 
lasted for about an hour. Then he turned to another criticism 
of what - what game systems muzykalok, graphics demoshek, and 
after a while began discussing Hacker different programmers,

musicians and all others
computer folk. Later
half an hour ear Vasechkina beginning to itch from constantly 
pressed to his handset, and He parted with his annoying friend. 
Deciding still write today, anything - then at least one sleek 
protsedurku, Vasechkin sat at the computer ... 

   Three times bumknuli clock, informing all who could to
hear about what has come
just three in the morning. Outside the window
There was silence, and only occasionally
where - then came the quiet howl
dog whining at the bright moon.
People sleep peaceably in their apartments, and only one of all 
to So far the lights ...


   "Why is it, you bastard, do not
works? Yahoo! After all, the same
like right ...", - Vasechkin
once again launched svezhenapisannuyu procedure and again 
received an undocumented effect - Not that I expected. Nerves 
were on edge. The lids were filled with lead, and his eyes 
spontaneously closed from time to time.

Vasechkin yet heroically tuzhilsya, struggling with sleep, and 
wishing to all - did finish unfortunate

procedure. He made several more attacks, but with each
Thus looking at the monitor waiting for the next all depends 
more and more clouded eyes. And so, during the next attempt, 
Vasechkina eyes closed, head gently down on the keyboard and 
echoes throughout the room spread out a loud, steady

snoring. Vasechkin fell into a restless sleep, so necessary
him now. And it was a dream of this programmer - even in my 
dreams Vasechkin continued to work on

his ingenious project, overcoming all the difficulties which 
arise in his way ...


   The sun was already shining brightly, delighting his 
appearance all the living creatures in the area. Breeze briskly 
flew the back streets, shook the green leaves. Begins a new day.


________________________________






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