Hello, people!!!
It's me, Heaven Aeroplane! Look at the
What text did I dig up? Totally awesome.
John Grant
Two in a hammock
Published in Fantacrim MEGA magazine
1'92.
The editor tapped his forehead with his fist,
which was already filled with a bump.
The lump got even bigger.
Some ideas are born spontaneously,
some are comprehended, but the idea of this
books were handed to him. He attended
Milford Writers' Conference
'86, trying to remain indispensable
except, of course, in those cases
when a sharp thing turns up on your tongue
the word should have flashed eloquently
by smashing someone to smithereens
boring essay. And suddenly, as if
terrible nightmare, the editor found himself under
cross-fire of glances present
existing
- We decided to publish a super-antolo-
gia dedicated to sci-fi sex - announced
famous children's writer, highlighting-
among fellow writers of the violent movement
lura.
“And you should be its editor,” in a tone
not tolerant of objections, added the bearded man,
hiding under a pseudonym from many
numerical fans. Enterprise editor
tried to drown himself in a glass of orange
new juice, but the neighbors gave it in time -
give him a straw?
“This is no big deal,” said the young man,
who was the only ki-
barepunk, screwing into a mechanical
snort cocaine into my nostril. - Everything you need
required, stuffed, is to shy away from this
Wed...readers a couple million bl...x
letters so that they send their fuck...e
history. But I'm sure they will respond
of course, only true gentlemen from
fiction.
Cyberpunk's left eye regardless
the right one began to search the room in
looking for a closet sign.
- Is it really that simple? -
stammered the Editor (andwhy did he only
didn't stay at home in Colchester?).
“Naturally,” one of them snapped.
three feminist women who see their pre-
appointment in permanent proof
from the opposite - or you will do it,
or...
She eloquently hit her ankle with a whip.
the bottom of a boot under a miniskirt.
The editor realized that he had lost.
- I give up. I'm starting an anthology.
Now, being in a cozy little world
Colchester, he reviewed the written
table littered with manuscripts and thinking
I wondered if it would have been better to accept death.
Painful, but alone.
The editor acted according to the advice of young
tsa-cyberpunk: after all, nowadays even old people
venture into scenes of unbridled erotic
tism in their hitherto chaste excesses
sah. Isn't that what the classic story is about?
Nosaga G. Harrison "Stainless Rat"
wants you"? Didn't he crawl out of the storerooms?
ki J. Vance with his "Servants of Bacchus"?
Didn't Heinlein think about the origins?
masochism in "Cruel Lover Moon"?
However, the Editor’s optimism has long been used up
steamed. The level of manuscripts that are up to
got there, did not exceed the level of the gym-
Nazi writings. Carnivorous milk-
glands, condoms, travel
over time, the fallopian tubes are located
rum to the Galaxy -such nonsense on-
the pages of the porn magazine "OMNI" are full,
which even reached Eastern Europe.
The hair on the Editor's scrotum stood up
on end.
But it seemed that he had taken
everything to insure against something like this
rubbish. Sent to each author
a letter in which he asked “dear pi-
satel" in his characteristic manner
work the following plot:
"The hero and heroine share a hammock in the unknown
somosti. Never let them know before
I wanted to experience something like this and practice
having sex with each other. He speaks with a tone
with a hint: “Darling, don’t you think
what does your bust in zero gravity resemble
a couple of melons of the exotic variety "Kolkhozni-
tsa "?", to which his partner thoughtfully
replies: “Maybe so, but I
I'm more worried that after your previous
We will have to wait a week for premature ejaculation.
I love cleaning the cabin!"
The editor disgustedly opened the first of
envelopes that arrived in the morning
by mail.
Lorrie Nevinen. World Famous
SF figure and co-author of the crowned lav-
Rami Gianni Purgeni.
A martyr from the editor with disgust
I immersed myself in reading:
“Sha, baby,” excitedlyexclaimed
Fanglord, the first of the Phi-writers,
sent into space. - Just look at these
surf effects!
Pupella look.
"Sutra" rotated in low orbit
around the black hole X-135. Members of her team
pages were protected from mockery
the influence of monstrous gravity is double-
the walls of a ship that left the
sing General Products. The walls were
are made from listerine, the composition of which is
go was known only to bra lovers. This
a strange race possessed high technology
gical inclinations, but not
was even able to get into the idea
phone. Listerine looked normal
glass and largely inherited its
stva. So, it cracked when you walked on it
hit with a hammer. But despite all this,
there was one useful quality: leaf-
rin acted as a barrier against gravity
tion, which simply bounced off him.
“Hey,” Fanglord exclaimed again, with
studying his own genitals with admiration
li, - if you fit here properly,
then the surf gradient will complete all the os-
tal. It will be no worse than that of an elephant.
Pupella did not answer. Her attention would-
lo is focused on something else. Thanks
projections of her body relative to X-135, le-
her breasts tried to squeeze the woman's throat
lo. Pupella gracefullychanged position and
the chest crawled onto the shoulder blade, breaking
balance of other parts of the body.
- Wow! - said Fanglord. - Interest-
but how to deal with such a situation
love?
“Damn dangerous,” said Pupel.
la, but a moment later her overalls
planned on the floor. Again, thanks...
along the surf gradient. Woman about
naturally drifted towards the man.
- Yohu! - Fanglord squealed. All of him
teenage dreams come true
but, unfortunately, all his dreams came true
Mary. He fished out a net from behind the console
butterflies and began frantically chasing
the results of his embodied nightmare-
ra.
“It was a miracle,” thought Pupella.
The next moment she felt
the very matter of the universe began to squeeze out
get through the pores..."
And this one is one of the best - say-
Hall itself an unfortunate Editor. - Come on,
somewhere here was an exercise in ek-
existentialist post-modernism
someone J.K. Billiards. But that's where
I fucking stuck it...
Erogenous zone
k a t a str o f
Hammock. Two. They see a hammock. Hammock
doesn't see them. Two stealthily produce
kissing experiment at the same time
thinking about the murder of John Fitzge-
Rald Kennedy. Having completed the experiment,
they remove their garments, which are scattered
lurking around the cabin, hovering ominously over
hammock like vultures. Occasionally
wings made of straps and trousers sway,
falling under the stream of a faulty air conditioner
Nera. They - people - examine each other's bodies
friend. She has an oyster in her hand, suddenly
arose thanks to the principle of indeterminacy
Heisenberg fission. It means
your desire to be loved, throwing yourself at
a hammock that throws her into the light
tilnik. He looks at the evidence of his
great haste. “Yes,” he thinks, “
but can this be considered art?
No, this is too much, the Editor decided. -
Although at least this thing has
one advantage - I personally don’t like it
clear. Most of the received waste paper
ry are simply too primitive. And that's it
well... and yet some of the authors clearly
tried to do something. For example,
Arcturus Quark's story is definitely
suggests that he did follow my call
Vetu and becameattend evening writings
Tel courses.
"Mitchum couldn't believe that he even...
we have to “make love”,
as the countrymen call it. He still
I didn't come across anyone who showed
at least the slightest interest in sex. For
sex somehow didn’t have enough place in the high-
technical world - but now doctor
Sandra Wickramasinhe threw off
clothes.
Mitchum had no idea before that this
thing - clothes - can be easily removed. He
watched with purely scientific interest
process and finally realized for the first time
Why do women's vaginas protrude so much?
redi.
He was nervous. (It must be admitted
to demonstrate the depth of character
tera character.) The idea of sex is a thing
mysterious, and yet Mitchum understood: de-
there is nowhere to go and everything must be done
as best as possible. He recalled with nostalgia
passed away his home on Callisto, where he
relatives discovered a way to save time,
reproducing oneself asexually. And at the same time
time the image of his father appeared before him -
Commondor Callisto, who was not lost
would sing if his offspring hit
dirt face in front of fellow countrymen.
Dr. Wickramasinh finished stripping
tiz.With the imperial movement of his little finger,
she showed that he must follow
follow her example. Mitchum had to
but work hard with zippers, buttons and
clasps. Your own vacuum suit Mit-
wore the plague without taking off for almost thirty
local years. not without difficulties, he
I was still able to get naked.
And then to his surprise it happened
something incredible. "It must be the fault
everything is weightless. After all, they can’t
Do body parts grow so spontaneously?
I hope I didn't catch something
space infection? - worried
thought the Callistan.
Dr. Wickramasinh seemed to be undressed.
appealed to his concern because
I decided to manually examine the affected
organ, no doubt trying to heal
by the touch of his fingers. "We'll be on-
hope she won't resort to
acupuncture." A moment later he used
tried a sharp relief - the swelling became
subside quickly. However, Dr. Vikrama-
Singh, apparently, was somewhat disappointed
rovana. Mitchum was surprised. Suddenly the feces
The Listyanin realized that he had just become
witness his own participation in the co-
tii. "So this is what it is - sex! - think
small Mitchum. - It’s hardly worth going again -
you take such a risk! However, it seems I'm not
hit the dirtface!"
He recalled with nostalgia the
real life on Callisto, thought about
how proud his father will be..."
- Quark must be kidding me
me! - exclaimed the Editor. Tear oro-
strength flabby cheek. - He couldn’t
in all seriousness, write such nonsense... With
the other side...
Mechanically he pinned on the story
Quark label with standard failure and
threw the manuscript into the wastepaper basket.
“This opus is complete chaos” - think
small The editor angrily, but immediately remembered
Neil Enzimova Pharmacy.
"...Clinch Bailey floated in the room from-
breathing on a hyperspace ship and
I already began to regret my agreement. de-
it was not at all that he was sent
whether into outer space and hidden
a form of agorophobia squeezed the body as if
in a giant fist, but the fact that he is slightly
didn't he spend three quarters of his time in
shared bathroom, desperately trying
squeeze out at least a few drops of urine,
trying to follow the given plot. "Well
why the most interesting things always happen
dit here, in the rest room, combined
no with the toilet, - the brother thought sadly -
vy detective - in the good old days
we didn't worry about such trifles.
Besidesit's damn inconvenient to take a leak
free fall when crowded
the bladder is trying to throw it away
you in the opposite direction, like ra-
ketu".
His thoughts were interrupted by the appearance of
doors R. Daniel Olivier - Bey's partner
whether to investigate particularly serious cases. R.
somewhere I got hold of a women's wig, ash-colored
color and thickly smeared on plastic
lipstick on your lips, and on no less plastic
rouge on the cheeks. The robot's fingers are compressed
Mali cigarette case of elongated shape. Replacement
tiv, as Bailey's gaze slid across his face,
onona brought the cigarette case to the plastic
mu ear, regardless of what comes out of it
There were some electronic wheezes.
- Hello, baby! - greeted ro-
bot imitating a vamp woman.
“Hello, R. Daniel,” responded
Clinch.
“I decided to become a woman,” explained
robot
- Why?
- Since the time of Susan Kelmanda, you, love-
di, underestimate the ability of hydroponic
of the brain to experience emotions, said
R. Daniel in his own creaky
voice. - However, if you, Clinch, could
put aside prejudices, then
I would have realized long ago that I love you. First-
ah I didn't understand whyyour love is be-
answer, but from the nuances of your behavior
It became clear to me: you simply cannot
find the courage to admit that
you are trying to feel tender feelings for the object of your husband -
of the Chinese kind. The First Law forbids me
make advances in your direction, because
if you realized that you are homosexual
sexual inclinations, then I would experience psycho-
chological trauma. (I understand that sometimes
Yes, neither to the village nor to the city I mention
Three Laws of Robotics, but I wouldn't
I wanted my readers to forget them.)
So I spent the whole morning in the barn.
lingerie workshops, trying on women's clothing
rank. How do you like me, Clinch?
Bailey's thoughts were in chaos. Speech robot
she tore the veil off his subconscious and
turned on secret erotic aspirations.
R. Daniel looked there with a hint,
where the organ peeked out, intended
natural for the process of excretion. Not-
it’s clear why he became significantly
larger.
- I see that I was right in my an-
Lisa,” licking his lips, he said languidly,
la R. Daniel.
From the cigarette case appeared
flames. They melted the blush and
they flowed down the plastic cheeks. Bailey
found this sight incredibly erotic
kim... A moment later his body crashed-
moose in the bulkhead withtooth-crushing speed
height.
The robot tore the console from his ear and
looked at her with disappointment:
_ Damn sexotron! - cursed
R. Daniel. - And yet he managed to accurately
extinguish the fire of lust..."
“Hmmm...” the Editor drawled and felt-
I had an unbearable urge to vomit. - I wanted
I wish I knew whether old Arcturus conveyed
fatherly to his friend the Grandmaster
advice to attend evening writers' workshops
courses?
The following piece was crowned
with a Texas postmark.
Nothing less than the work of our superhero -
go cyberpunk Pound Sterling, known-
th expert of the technology of the future gateway-
nor a connoisseur of fence slogans!
Meanwhile, the lighting in the room is due to
has changed. Static electricity crackled
Trinity, but the Editor was so
absorbed in his own feelings
no longer paid the slightest attention to his surroundings
th attention. There was a bang, and in the room
something invaded with gorgeous hips
mi and no lessgorgeous bust. This is not...
it was completely ignored -
The Editor's pupils again ran along the
tan rails of typewritten lines.
"... Fortunately, I took precautions
precautions and filled the skull with ultragelin
nit before heading to the
tribute. So break into the punishment cell, where
Lucia was sitting, it was a matter of several mi-
chickpeas
I stuck out my tongue and tungsten tip
a stranger instantly drilled a hole in
molybdenum door next to the timer switch
com on nuclear batteries. Then he snuggled
open mouth to the door and carefully hic-
zero.
Cloud of smoke and metal shavings -
the door crashed inwards,
miraculously not crushing Lyu-
I'm chewing.
She was naked.
As usual.
Here, in the icy expanses of space,
there was no need for clothing.
She looked at me with satisfaction.
- So I knew that you would arrive on time -
“Me, Dirk,” she stammered.
- And I knew.
- We need to get out of here quickly,
- Lucia whispered tenderly. Her wonderful
plastoid nipples shoneall colors
rainbows, reflecting emotions.
“Uhm,” I agreed.
My last injection of phenylbarbketomine-
nitrosulfate was losing its effect, so I
pulled a syringe out of the holster and injected another
dose.
We got out of there.
Much, much later we found ourselves on
promenade deck of the Madonna. Bye on
beefsteaks squealed in the grates, I’m interested
resented:
- Would you like an aperitif?
“Uh-huh,” she hummed.
- Got some cool “wheels” on the 61st Le-
trouble,” I commented, pulling out
bottle from the bar. - This dude was hanging around
behind the fence of the spaceport he suggested a thing
for three "pieces". So I stocked up on them
like a boa constrictor. They are called,” I squinted,
staring at the label, - great, they
called paracetamol.
I tossed the pill and it slowly
planned to where mine would be
palm, if I had not overcome
lived with her brothel owner on Dork B.
“Well,” said Lucia, “you’re right.”
he's such a handsome guy!
“I know,” I said.
- Do you hear? And if we wait with the food-
come and fuck in a state of complete sleep
traditions. Everyone, listen, thinks that I’m a phone
ka - nice. I wantsay - out of embarrassment -
she turned green all over, including her wig, -
that my little thing can take everything, even
frequency modulation.
I whistled. The idea was not bad.
“It’s covered,” I said. - If you want.
All you had to do was press a button
Breasts and my trousers fell to the floor. But
here I hesitated.
- You know, Lucia, I don’t have any
confidence that this will be true love
God, not a surrogate.
“It’s a sure thing on my part,” she said
she, - I already took the pills. On!
Trying not to touch the tungsten surface,
tip on the tongue, still hot
th from my meeting with the all-metal
which door, she makes an erotic movement
palms pushed the pill into my mouth.
I swallowed.
Grabbed Lucia's imposing buttocks,
feeling love from the first pill.
There was a loud click.
- Oh, shit! Well, just give me the extra
fight to Marsport, I’ll strangle this nit-me-
hanika..."
The editor folded the sheets and, for the first time in
smiling all the time, he tore his hand
write in half.
The light in the office became brighter and acquired
greenish tint. the space is filled
Nila melodyWagner's "Flight"
Valkyries" with an introduction by Strauss
"Thus spake Zarathustra" as a con-
trapunta.
In any other circumstances Redak-
Thor would probably have paid attention to this,
but now he's hypnotized,
continued to leaf through the pages of the arriving ma-
nusscripts.
He turned to the latter with a headband
from a coffee cup on the first page.
This opus was sent to him by the literary
agent of Kurt Winishgut.
"...If only I hadn't strived to-
show the Creator your ability to fuck
despite being overweight, constantly
drinking and bad habits, - thought Ken -
Guru Trot - this never happened
would.
He was floating around the cabin. Dershe McTavish
giggled non-stop, and kept performing -
the remaining parts of her body trembled to the beat
laughter.
“Well, it’s starting” B - upset
he thought a few moments later
after placing his hand on
her..."
Shvark! The leaves flew into the basket.
Only now the Editor discovered that in
There have been changes in the office.
felt in the airthe smell of sulfur. B
in the dazzling green light
all objects were outlined.
The editor turned around in a spinning
chair.
Standing right in front of him was the most beautiful
the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in life and on
pictures from Playboy. Her nakedness
citified and at the same time was chaste
Rennoy. Her flowing hair is platinum
th shade went down to the lush buttocks.
Her breasts were like two full moons.
The nipples proudly pierced the air for lack of
wearing a transparent blouse.
The Editor caught his breath. She
speaking in a chest contralto with an accent
one that was impossible to guess:
- I crossed the Galaxy for the sake of endless
everlasting love for you,” she exclaimed,
extending his wonderfully shaped arms. - Come
into my arms and let us merge in ecstasy!
Let me be your demonic lover
bovnitsa!
With a powerful jerk the Editor ejected
fell out of the chair.
A moment later, the office door closed.
burst behind him, leaving an alien
the guest is perplexed. While traveling around
to the unknown expanses of space her race
developed the most effective way
make contact with the natives. But these
strange earthlings, apparently baked from
another test. Sheknew only a few
words in the earthly language, but before
the delicious body was laid out on
molecules and transported back to
ship, memory recorded the last
the words that the earthling shouted came out
guy from the building:
- No need! Oh God, this is too much, I
I just can’t stand it! Have mercy, Bo...
Then she disappeared, leaving behind a
there is a trace of sulfur on the parquet and an empty basket -
ku for unnecessary papers.
The xenobiologists of her race reverently
are going to study this pile of white... valuable jewelry
investigative material.
Copyright ь John Grant 1990.
Copyright BY Simona Vlyublyatiskayte
1991, translation into Russian.
CopyLEFT Бу Heaven Aeroplane 1997,
typed in the "Word and
Delo" 7.0 specially for Pro
Hackers' Dynasty Press, Dept.
Profile Hackers' Dynasty
Private Corporation.ph (017) 243-0-244 (Сергей).
Share your thoughts about the article