·∙─ He spat and swore dirty ·∙─ ── ──┐
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Today we will change the usual course of events and instead
_fakrushnikov_ we’ll publish something else.
1997 (c) Vinski Serge, All Rights Reserved.
When copying, a link is required!
Swearing proverbs and sayings
You have to be smart - Fuck your wife, don’t forget your neighbor!
Don't steal where you live, Don't fuck where you work!
You can’t fuck all women, but you have to strive for it!
Orderly, bring the fucking machine!
People get married, fuck, and we have nothing to wear!
Don't look at the shirt, but look at the fun!
Drink water, eat water - you will never want to fuck!
We fucked and we didn’t get lost, And we fucked and we didn’t get lost!
Come, Marusya, with the goose - Let's eat and have a snack!
I fucked these cabbage soup, At least rinse your dick in them.
The rich man is building everything, And the poor man is rummaging around in his pussy.
Stop fucking, start fucking!
Why are you shouting, slanting ass, - Just think, fucker!
Whatever the Yenisei, it’s more fun in the pussy!
Those who worked and labored have long been covered with pussy.
Don't be a jerk, or you'll fly away.
“Fucked up!” said the father.
Laughter, laughter, and pussy fur up.
No matter how you poke or move, the pussy's dick is always shorter.
Women have two types of life: “crappy” and “no fucking way.”
Dick and pussy from the same nest
Grandma loves hot tea, Granddaughter loves erect dick.
There are no relatives closer than that.
There's an alarm clock in the house - you won't oversleep, you won't surprise whores with dick.
That's itit turns out: The dick is standing, the head is shaking!
All my things are dicks and ticks.
Hunger is not a thing, dick is not a steamship.
Two rubles are rubles, but fuck me in small change.
What does a woman have legs for? So that the dick doesn't go astray!
There is money, and the girls love it, they even put it to bed with them,
But if there’s no money, they’ll cut off your dick and give it to the dogs!
To my dear friend, fuck him!
If you want to wear a hare hat,
Get on my dick and scratch my balls!
Like a Latvian - dick and soul!
People plow, and we wave our dicks!
We're not afraid of work, but let's go to work!
What the hell is a gunman's ass if he's not a hooligan?!
You can ride to heaven on someone else's dick if the ass is someone else's.
They don't beat the wolf because he's gray, but because he sat on his dick.
Caviar makes the blood thicken and the dick gets fatter.
Come to my dacha, I’ll give you a treat there!
Russish cultural?! - What the fuck!
Let's say together: "What the hell do you need?!"
Laughter, laughter, and dick like a walnut!
Such friends are fucked and in a museum!
Whoever knows better has a longer dick.
Dick in the mouth, two in the mind. How many will be in your head?
The box is held on by a nail, and the wife is held on by a dick.
It's definitely worth it, but it's not durable.
You can't fart wider than an ass, you can't jump higher than a dick.
"Huli" is not a hive - you can't breed bees.
So that your dick grows on your heel, so that no matter how you piss, you take off your shoes!
Suck your dick, read the newspaper, - You'll be a prosecutor by summer!
We roll the dicks and put them up against the wall.
Dick is no guide to the head.
Dick is like a dick - an inch and an inch and three more fingers across,
and there is still a place for the crow to sit.
Fuck it, change it, it's just a waste of time.
Neighboringcollective farm Asks for manure. Fuck, we won’t give it to you, we’ll eat it ourselves!
Nominal formulas
Andrey, keep your dick up!
Vasyata, they fuck like piglets.
Ivan, fuck your button accordion!
Kiryukha, they're fucking you in the ear!
Kolka, how long is it from pussy to ass?
Mikhail, why are you milking the dick?
Fedot, your fucking mouth!
Pull ups
-Did you eat onions, or are you just crazy?
-Close the fucker so it doesn’t blow!
-And you are talkative...Lick my snotty dick!
-And you, it turns out, are a sausage maker. You know, the sausage maker fucked you!
-Before you cheat, learn to suck a dick!
-When they fuck you like a doggy style, pretend to be a fool!
-Dick in your ass instead of dill!
-Fuck you in the ass instead of the poppy! Nothing to cover?
Get into your pussy and dig potatoes!
-You go first, I'll go second. You'll get stuck, fuck you!
-Are you offended? Get into your pussy, we'll meet there!
-Neither fold nor palm, put your pussy on your ears!
-Suck the dick of a drunken hedgehog!
-Suck the old hare's dick!
-Suck the dick of a dead Tatar!
- For such tales, fuck you in the eyes!
- For such a turn, a dick in your mouth!
- For such a lie, fuck you in the ass!
-Why are you entrenched? Or did you swallow some dick?!
-I fucked you in the forest - do you want me to bring you a certificate?!
-I fucked you in the window - here’s the certificate with me!
-I fucked you in a raspberry, along with your certificates!
Draws
-Frozen? So there is a boiler room...
-...?
- Otherwise, get into the pussy, it’s hot there too!
-Have you been (to the Black Sea)?
-...(Was)
-Are you being fucked, are you howling?
-You need vitamin U.
-...?
- So that there are no wrinkles on the dick!
-Today we have lushi for (dinner).
-....?
-Fuck your ears!
-Hello to youconveyed by Lapshin.
-....?
-Whose dick is as big as an arshin!
-Did you live in the village?
- Lived.
-And I gave a fuck about you!
-Jump on one leg and say: “The glorious sea is sacred Baikal.”
-The glorious sea is sacred Baikal.
-Fuck you in the ass so you don’t jump!
-Say quickly: “Spruce forest, birch forest - why not firewood?”
- Spruce forest, birch forest - why not firewood?
- Fuck you miller on a crazy Monday, your stupid head!
-Greetings to you from three persons!
-...?
-From a dick and two balls!
-How is life?
-Like Zuy. And Zuy gets fucked with three dicks!
-Say: "Diamond."
-Fuck you in the eye!
- And don’t let me fuck you, you bastard!
-Shall we smoke?
-Do you have balls under your dick?
-What?
-Dick over your shoulder instead of a machine gun, and pussy in your pocket - through connections!
-And a dick in your ear to test your hearing!
- Guess the riddle: mustachioed, striped, meows - who is she?
-Cat.
- Fuck you basket!
-I went to the store to buy sausage, and there were only helmets!
-...?
-Fuck the trimmings!
-Are you going to call me grandfather?
-Whom?
- My dick, he also has a beard!
-What's your last name?
-Pussy mare!
-What’s your name?
-Fucking mother!
-What time is it?
-One is fucking, the other is dozing!
-Where are you going?
-Fuck mushrooms, take the bag, come with us!
-And here we have...
-So you have kvass in your pussy, but we have it in barrels!
-How are you living?
-Like in a harem.
-...?
-You know they’ll fuck you, but you don’t know when.
- Greetings from Nadya!
-...?
-Which has a pussy from behind!
- Dick in the tree - what tree?
-I’ll plant you, then I’ll tell you!
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Well, I was happy! 2500! You won't make any money on the bus, or what?
what's on the "bug"! And I went to the planetarium to celebrate. First
I gave in, of course, properly. I love this business. You sit under
lightly into the chair, the lecturer throws rubbish at you about
life on alien planets and moons, and you sit there, dozing, and
above the head the sky appears and the stars on it, and all the planets,
which are not visible in our country, for example, the Southern Cross, and
to see it, you have to cross the border at fifty
the eighth article, which I need as an alarm clock. Here they are blinking
the stars and constellations are different and the sky is completely black - quiet
turns around, and you, then, under a light canopy in a chair like
there would be only one on the whole Earth and you don’t need a damn thing, you pathetic creature. And
suddenly it begins to get light. The path of the Milky Way is not visible, it turns pink
edges. What a clever device! Then the clock strikes: boom-bom!
I yawn. Six o'clock. I wish it was morning and back to work! Glory
To God, I think, I’m not lying on a bunk, and I don’t need to, having sipped on a helmet,
fuck around on duty like a whore with bowler hats... I gave in back in
bar, overjoyed by the increase, and headed to the former international
class, and his dick spent the night in his cupboard, I had to run to
grocery store Well, the little guy got drunk, he envies me and tells me not to
chatter so that no snotty student gets wind of it.
“Be afraid,” he says, “of volunteers, we have themfuck you and
more.
I also covered myself in sausage. I overslept in the morning, I'm running, damn it,
in the head from side to side, like in a body, fried nails
oversleep. Kizma unleashed half a pound on me, shouting: “You
you are delaying an important experiment!”, and near the device from which steam
an academician in a black cap and pink hands is walking and running
rubs.
I lock myself in my cabin and turn on the daylight. hand
I’m shaking, even if I play the balalaika, but I just can’t finish,
I’m shaking, I’m sweating all over. Kizma knocks on the door, thinks I've messed with
hangover, and asks: “Will I get the drug soon or not soon?”
I can’t raise my hands anymore, and fear has set in. All!
Fire me, whore, without severance pay - the little fake is gone!
I opened the doors and called Kizma. So and so, do whatever you want -
I have dead wood, I can’t finish it. The academician stuck his head in and
says: “Why, my friend, can’t spew out a seed?”
I was completely crazy and wanted to do it on my own this very minute.
desire to quit, and then suddenly one junior employee, Vlada
Yurievna tells Kizma and the academician: “Colleagues, please don’t
bother the recipient!" that is, me. Closes the door.
“Turn away, please,” and turns off the daylight. And
With his own little hand, Kiryukha, he takes me completely
frankly for the rude, boorish, stubborn bastard, for the dick. And that's it
I tensed up and it was as if someone was in my spinal column
diamond studs hammered with silverhammers and dips
me from head to toe in a bath with draft beer and foam
red crayfish crawl and black crabs swim. Here you go, damn it
what a pleasure!
I don’t know how much time has passed, and suddenly I feel: it’s about
I’m going to cum and I can’t contain myself anymore, I gritted my teeth and bent over
he started screaming all over. Then Kizma told me, I screamed for seconds
twenty so that the test tubes were ringing and there was a light in the oscilloscope
burned out from my sound wave. And I myself fainted,
into the abyss. I open my eyes - the light is on, my fly is fastened
all the buttons, my head is cold and quiet, and it seems to be stuffed
curd mass with raisins. I respect her very much. No hangover
no.
I went out to the laboratory and was shushed. Academician over
a device from which steam comes out, casts a spell and sings: "...a
instead of a heart there is a fiery engine." Well, how can you not respect yourself?
such a minute!? I respected it. Suddenly something cracked, something
opened, took off the nuts, the academician shouted: “Hurray!”, ran up to
shakes my hand and says:
- You, my friend, may be an ancestor again
a nascent human tribe on another planet! Everyone
your life will go to work! In one thermos there are people, in two -
nation! Or maybe it's the other way around. The devil himself won't understand these
Stalin's formulations. Congratulations! I wish you success! - and ran away.
I don't understand a damn thing. Vlada Yuryevna looks at me, like
and she wasn't the one jerking off. And it turns outhere's what: my dearest
the malofaika was immersed in various liquid gases, frozen,
fucking grandma, into a stone, and they thawed it out. They thaw and look:
whether the tailed ones are alive or not. And the genes are shuffled in them. No gas
they could pick up the degrees. And so they picked it up. So what? Rockets
it didn’t exist then, but Kizma dreamed of launching my little fake on
Andromeda, and, in general, I don’t know about this matter, I need to look,
what will happen. It's clear? Don't open your fucking mouth. You won't hear it yet...
They would end up on Andromeda, and in a glass device, as in
belly, would get pregnant. Nine months later - they appear again
On Andromeda there are lively Nikolai Nikolaichs. A hundred pieces at once, and
They adapt, bastards, to the environment. Don't believe it?
Asshole! And you buy live carp, freeze it, and then use it in the bath
give it up, he will come to life.
- A-ah-ah!
- Fuck you! So as not to fall from surprise. So,
the academician returns, although not... First I say: “Give me
take a look at these livelies at least out of the corner of your eye." Attached the pin
to the microscope, I look. And they are visible and invisible. It's true that people
or a nation, and every living thing in it is Nikolai Nikolaevich. It would be necessary
I think there’s a pussy for each, but science will figure it out. Right here
an academician comes and says: “You, my friend, somehow
restrain yourself, don’t growl, don’t scream during orgasm, otherwise
A rumor spread to the institute that we were engaged in vivisection. A
times, do you know what? We are geneticists - five minutes to goenemies
people. Yes, sir, not friends, but enemies. Restrain yourself. It's difficult, by
I remember. But hold back, at least grind your teeth."
“This,” I say, “is impossible.” From teeth grinding in the gut
worms are born.
- Who told you, my dear?
- Mom was still talking.
- Kizma, give this idea to Lepeshinskaya, let her
young men grind their teeth and wait for the self-birth of worms in their
rectums. According to the theory of probability, success is guaranteed. And also
It’s better to insert a denture into their anuses. It will be closer this way
to the worm... Charlatans! Barbarians! Freeloaders! Enemies of the people! -
here the academician coughed, turned pale, rolled his eyes,
he was shaking, about to poop on the floor, I took him in my arms.
“Don’t be a jerk,” I say, “daddy.” Eat everything in your mouth, spit
use the sun like an iron, smooth out wrinkles!
The academician laughed, kisses me, thanks me for the warm
living word.
- I won’t mess around, I won’t! They won't wait! Let him be crazy
wrong!
Kizma took the alcohol out of the safe, I brought my snack
donor, well, we fucked up for the success of science. The academician got drunk and
shouts that catastrophe is no longer scary for humanity, and that
if everyone covers themselves with pussy and mutates, then my sperm will give birth
new healthy person on another planet, and intelligence -
It’s a profitable business, if a person needs it at all. Because it's bullshit
What good is it, kiryukha, from this intelligence? You should have looked
how scientists eateach other without salt, fucking, raw,
except that they spit out the buttons. And the international situation
which one? It's bad, that's what it is! In animals, probably lions or
Jackals, even sharks, have no intelligence. Okay, sorry about that
lecture. Drink! And radiation, damn it! Because of the radiation, you know
how many became impotent? Okay, I'm immune to it,
disgraceful bitch.
In short, I come the next day or after Sunday,
I lie down on the sofa in the cabin, but my penis doesn’t get up. I jerk off, I jerk off,
but he doesn't get up. Got away from my hands, the bastard, completely fed up,
trump hole. But the matter was simple. I'm all Sunday
I dreamed about Vlada Yuryevna, I collected sessions, I fell in love,
fucking power! But we have to work! Kizma is nervous again, and
imagine, Vlada Yuryevna says that I now have a type
some kind of dynamic has formed in her head and she will have to again
intervene. I almost came from these words.
She sat down, my patented kiryukha, again side by side and
with his fingers... Ah! I close my eyes, I fly into hell, with my teeth
I’m creaking, fuck them, the worms, and my spine is getting new
diamond nails are driven in with silver hammers
one after another. Ebs! Ebs! Ebs! And it’s not blood that flows through the veins, but
music. And, believe me, the nails on my toes and hands itch so much that
like a cat in heat, everyone wants to scratch, scratch, scratch and
tear into pieces. Have you ever been electrocuted? Three hundred
eighty voltsfucking ampere and more in two phases? And me
fucked up! So it's all mude, wheels compared to when
you finish under the guidance of Vlada Yuryevna. Lightning, bastard, knees
at twenty fucks you between the big hemispheres, no
Just think - asses, - heads! And that's it! Golden steam from you
remains, would evaporate into a trembling droplet and it’s scary that
all twenty pink knees of your dear one crumbled forever
lightning. It turns out that I was screaming again and flying into the abyss.
Kizma burst in like mad, all white, foam on his lips,
stutters and can't really say anything. Vlada Yuryevna to him and
says, wiping his hands with alcohol:
- The experiments, Anatoly Magomedovich, will be completed. Not
lose the appearance of a scientist, which suits you so well. If Nikolai screams,
then after orgasm the mental parameters change sharply
states, and the braking mechanisms become uncontrollable.
This is already a special problem. I believe that it is necessary to build
a pressure chamber and order the latest electronic equipment.
You should have looked at her at the same time! The hair is soft, red,
the eyes are calm, green, and there is no whorishness in the face.
Riddle, bitch! That's it. And Kizma's jaw is shaking and
fucking dog melancholy. If there was a Mauser, I would gut it in a sieve
would me. I'll be damned, man, if it's not so. Well, I'm not a fraer,
picked up like a Magadan lynx, and now, I think, I fucked the whole
work, since I have love anda second deer appeared on the horizon.
- And you, Nikolai, I’ll ask you not to drink a single gram for two weeks,
so as not to waste time during masturbation. We don't have enough of it -
The laboratory is about to be dispersed.
Then I say to Kizma:
- Why are you so confused? Let me gag your mouth.
-Can’t you do it without a gag?
“You should try it yourself,” I say.
He turned pale again, but remained silent. And I have plans
Napoleonic. Let me, I think, find out where Vlada Yuryevna lives.
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