I'm not weak-minded - the task was cleverly invented, but I overcame it. Ready!

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In recent years, parents have almost become accustomed to the fact that
the mental development of their children is constantly checked and
is being investigated. In general, this is even convenient: after all, if, for example,
take a family that has a TV, it turns out that the parents
meet with their child, as a rule, only during
programs, that is, when you don’t talk to him much, so
how the rest of the audience immediately shushes you. Not surprising
therefore, parents sometimes know almost nothing about their child
nothing - except that they remember the name and age. They have a bad idea
and the mental development of their offspring, and this is where they
scientific testing comes to the rescue. If a child
let's say he's eight years old and he has to go to school, then check him
mental abilities can be carried out using a variety of
and very complex methods: here and the so-called “National
tests B", and all sorts of tests for induction, reaction, concentration
and so on. You can, of course, simplify the check: put it in front of
as a child, two brand new shiny nickels and an old, worn one
two-kopeck piece, ask what coins he would like to take for himself
for ice cream, and if the child chooses two kopecks, then that means
he doesn'tHe's a complete idiot and there's no need to check him anymore.

About how wonderful the complex methods I have listed are,
Entire books have already been written, so I have nothing to add here, and I
I leave the novice father the right to choose the method himself
testing your child's abilities. That's not what we're talking about.
I would like to touch upon another interesting phenomenon here, which
It's been happening quite often lately. (And if that happens
continue, then some measures will have to be taken.)
I mean the mania that appears in a child after
school mental development tests for him at all costs
I want to test my parents’ abilities at home! Right here
I think we are on a dangerous path.

I myself was subjected to such a test, and after conducting
experiments based on a strictly scientific system, the degree
my mental development was so low that,
in the opinion of the head of the examination, all that remained to be found out was
one thing: shouldn't I be sent to some closed institution?

It all started when Benny came home from school one day and pulled out
some papers from his bag and asked cheerfully:
- Dad, you probably don’t know your KUR?
- My... who?
- CHICKEN. IQ.
“No,” I admitted, “Well, obviously, average or a little higher, maybe.”
  be.

The look that Benny gave me made me
to suspect that he had his own thoughts on this matter.

-Today we were told about determining the degree of mental
  development according to the Binet-Simon system, and the teacher tested us all.
  Terribly interesting! Now I'll check on you and mom,
  Let's see which of you has better CUR. Let's start with 100 points,
  and for each correct answer I will add 10 points, and
  for an incorrect one - 10 points off. If you score 160 points,
  then it means you are very developed, and if you are only 40, then completely
  weak-minded.
“How difficult this is all,” sighed Marianne. “But let’s
  let's try.
“So,” Benny continued, “I name five words, four of them
  denote somewhat similar concepts, but the fifth does not. Here's the first one
  task: apple, watermelon, orange, banana, soccer ball. What
  is the word superfluous?
“A soccer ball,” Marianne blurted out without thinking.
“Banana,” I said.

Benny and Marianne looked at me in surprise.

-You were probably joking? - said Marianne. “It’s clear that
  fruits and a soccer ball were listed here are not at all
  to the place.
“Mom is right,” said Benny. “She gets 10 points.” What is this
  did it suddenly occur to you to say "banana"?
“Well, you see,” I muttered, “it seemed to me that this was all about
  in the form of an object, and from what you named, only a banana
  not round.
- Let's try again. Just, dad, think carefully before
  than to answer. So, the second task: lion, antelope, zebra,
  sparrow, buffalo. Be quiet, mom, let me do it firstdad will say.

I rubbed my neck thoughtfully and furrowed my brows. I didn't want to again
get into trouble..

- Leo! - I finally said.
- Sparrow! - Marianna said quickly
- Mom answered correctly again. She now has 120 points. And
  you, dad, are only 80.
- Leo? - Marianna repeated in surprise.
“Yes,” I muttered, trying not to meet her gaze.
- I reasoned that of the five listed, the lion is the only
  an animal that can eat the other four. Predator.
  But give me the next task, with it I will definitely
  I can handle it.

Benny pulled out a new piece of paper and read:

- Head, neck, hat, arms, legs. Dad answers first.
- Legs! - I said.
“Hat,” said Marianne. “You were wrong again.” Hat - head
  clothing, and everything else is parts of the body.
“Well, so what,” I objected, not quite confidently, “after all, from
  listed only the legs are below the waist, all
  the rest is higher.
“Oh my God,” Marianne sighed.

I leaned back in my chair.

“Let’s finish before the game gets boring,” I suggested. “It’s already clear,
  that my IQ is 70, I'll try
  somehow live with such a coefficient.
- No, there are still three tasks left. Listen here: Washington, Ålesund,
  London, Paris, Rome.

I saw that Marianne was impatient to say the answer.

“Well, speak up,” I told her.
“No, you first, dad,” Benny objected.
“Washington,” I said.
“Ålesund,” Marianne retorted. “Hejust a small town
  and the rest are capitals of states.
- Is she explaining it correctly? - I asked. Head of examination
  nodded his head.
- And why did you suddenly decide to say “Washington”? -
  Marianna said reproachfully. “Are you not thinking at all?”
  Are you answering or what?
- Of course, I think I was the only one who thought that since Washington
  in America, and the other four cities are in Europe, which means he
  and named inappropriately. If you say it's not so, let it be
  it will be your way, but a person can make mistakes, right?
  So I was wrong.
“You have 60 points,” Benny announced and ruthlessly added: “On
  ten points less than needed for an underdeveloped person.
- It's better if you don't talk about it.
  neighbors,” I told Marianne. “What’s happening in our house,
  doesn't concern anyone. And if you want to share this with
  your mother, then you can’t count on a new fur coat. And so
  one more thing: don’t look at me with those eyes. I'm not at all
  feeble-minded. What, I can’t fool around?

Benny looked at his notes.

“The numbers don’t lie, Dad,” he said. “Here’s the next task:
  Frederick the Seventh, Napoleon, Snow White, Emperor Wilhelm,
  Charles the Twelfth.

I turned to Marianne.

- Are you first or should I answer? - I asked hopefully.
“Answer me,” Marianna said gloatingly.
- Is it possible to collect your thoughts in such an environment? -
  I got angry. “Why are you staring at me?”You're just getting in the way.
  Turn away and leave me alone for a minute so I can
  use your head.

They turned away, and I worked with my head:

“Napoleon!” I said firmly.
“Snow White,” Marianne sighed.
- Explain.
- Snow White is a character from a fairy tale, and the rest are historical
  personality.
- Is this correct? - I asked. Benny nodded his head.
- And the fact that of all five, only one Napoleon had
  the habit of putting his hand over the side of his coat means he has no
  meanings?

The head of the examination shook his head.

- Mom is ahead, she has 150 points, and you...
- I didn’t give a damn about the numbers! Let's do one last task and we'll finish.
  with this.

Benny took out the last piece of paper and read:

- Kissel, Volga, Elbe, Danube, Mississippi.

I scratched behind my ear with a pencil and thought. I have firmly decided
cope with this last task. Enough already, I'm already
disgraced.

- I'm ready! - said Marianne.

I wrote the words down on a piece of paper and tried to find the key to the solution.
this task. And suddenly it dawned on me. You can't say anything, the task
was cleverly invented, but I overcame it. Ready!

- Well? - Marianna asked with greedy curiosity.
- I won’t tell. Just tell me how you will turn everything around right away
  in your own way, and you will be right with your Mississippi.
- Yes, I didn’t even think of saying “Mississippi”!
- Probably just because I said it earlier. And I'm sure
  I wanted to say. Mississippi is the only word listed
  in whichfour "i".
“This has nothing to do with the problem,” said Benny.
- Well, then you would say that this is the only word
  in which there are three "s", I know you! But I'm not on this bait
  take it, I'll tell you what. I will fight for my Volga,
  no matter how you say it, the answer is Mississippi.
- No, no! Kissel, of course, jelly! This is a food product
  and everything else is rivers. What got into your head, what is the answer
  Should it be "Volga"? - Marianne was almost in despair.
“The answer is for an abnormal person,” said Benny. “Why did you decide that?”
  explain?

I refused to answer. And until now, until the publication of this mine
Appeal to all fathers - do not let children determine CSD
head of the family - I kept the solution to this problem secret: Volga -
the only five words that will become a girl's name if
take away the first letter from it and insert a soft sign in the middle.
This gives me 10 points, which is probably just enough
to remain free until doctors find some
potions for the development of intelligence and it will not be sold
in pharmacies at a reasonable price.