Baldezhnik - I’ll tell you right now.

      
                                          
Music By OVERAYE                
(c) SISOFT/TRG                  
                                          
 1. Why is flounder flat?            
 We think that this happened after the night,
spent with a whale.                      
 2. What time is a decent woman
should I go to bed?                
 A woman should go to bed at 9
hours to be home by 12.              
 3.  Is it possible to get married at fifty?
small?                                
 It's possible, but it's better at twenty and with
big.                                  
 4.  Is it true that under communism children
will be produced at -               
 the power of electricity and steam?            
 Yes, a pair will be taken and turned off
electricity, and the rest -              
as under socialism...                
 5. How is medicine different from beer?  
    The medicine is first prescribed, then
they drink, but beer is the opposite.              
 6. Where did tap dance originate?        
 We think that in the family of worker Sahakyan,
where there are ten children and one chamber pot.    
 7. Where is the front of the Zaporozhets car?
where's the butt?                                
The name "Zhoporozhets" speaks for itself
yourself.                                     
 8. Which nation is the most beautiful?        
 Thanks for the compliment.                
 9. Why is the bug flat?               
 To make it more comfortable to sleep on.      
 10. What should a woman be like?        
Like a clinic: clean, accessible to the public
and free.                             
 11. Who is a chansonette?             
 This is a woman who has no chance.    
 12. Why is there no meat?                  
 Because pigs came out into the world,
cows married officers, bar-           
we defended our dissertations, but the chickens died
with laughter.                                 
 13. What is the most important organ of
women?                                  
    Magazine "Worker".                   
 14. Why do men wear
maxi jackets?   To hide your admiration
miniskirts.                              
 15. Who is a motor tourist?             
 This is a man who travels for 5000
miles to take a photo           
 from your own car.                 
 16. What is business?                 
 This is a way to take money without help
brute force.                              
 17. What is business in Russian?       
    This is to steal a box of vodka, sell it,
and drink the money away.                         
 18.  What process is meant by
education?                              
 This is an educational process, at the beginning of which
the child is taught to speak, and                  
 at the end - be silent.                    
 19. Is it possible to kill your mother-in-law with a towel?   
 It is possible if you wrap the iron in it.    
 20.  Is it possible to put a samovar under
pillow?                                  
    Of course you can.  My thing, wherever I want -
I'll put it there.                            
 21. Will there be love under communism?   
 If there is no money, there will be no love!      
 22. Where is a person’s soul?              
 Under the bladder: when you urinate,
my soul becomes lighter.                 
 23. What causes diseases?       
 All diseases are caused by nerves, only syphilis
from pleasure.                          
 24. What is better to die from: syphilis
or from dysentery?                        
 It is better to die as a real man than
some asshole.                       
 25. What is called ultra-precision?    
 A mosquito hitting a telegraph pole.      
 26. What is micro-spanking?             
    Lilliputian with Lilliputian in bed.       
 27. What is super rumble?           
 Two skeletons have intercourse on an iron
roof.                                    
 28.  How to call a person who killed
mother, father, sisters and brothers?             
    An orphan.                       
 29.  Is it possible to get on horseback from
Black Sea to Vladivostok?             
 yes, if the horses are not eaten in Irkutsk.  
 30. Can a father be younger than his son?   
 In the twentieth century, everything is possible, and the father can
be younger than your son, if he is                
 is not his native one.                     
 31. Who drinks cognac at the new price?   
 THIEVES and SIZHIS.                          
 Why? It's unclear!                    
 Because VOR is
a highly paid employee, and CHIZH is
extreme-                                  
very interesting woman.             
 32. Why are some people fat and others
thin, although they eat alone and                  
 the same pasta?                       
 Because some eat them lengthwise, others
across.                                  
 33. Is it possible to swallow ball bearings?
    It’s possible, but it’s better not to
break the toilet.                           
 34.  What is the difference between a TV and
chamber pot?  No difference, the content is the same
the same, only in the last vi-              
mostly better.                          
 35.  How to write correctly: “buttocks”
or "buttocks"?                            
 Look in the dictionary for the letter "zh"    
 36. Can nylon stockings be ironed?
    It's possible if they have a pretty leg. 
 37. How should you support your husband?         
Like a dog: feed, water, dress, and
Let him out for a walk in the evening.               
 38. For what purpose do newspapers exist? 
    A newspaper is a portable screen for
in which a man sitting in               
 tram, hiding from someone standing nearby
women.                                  
 39. Who are distant relatives?   
    These are the best relatives, and what
the further the better.                        
 40. What is a diet?                  
 This is starvation for the purpose of
live a little longer.                    
 41. Who is a diplomat?               
 A man who can convince his wife
that the fur coat makes her look fat.                       
 42. What is the difference between a wife and
housekeeper?                            
 Housekeeper - a woman performing
work for a special fee,              
 and the woman who performs it for free,
called wife.                           
 43. What is a death ray?             
The death ray is a look that alone
woman throws on another,               
 identically dressed as her.               
 44. What is a menu?                   
    Menu - list of dishes,who just
ran out.                                
 45. Who is the boss?              
 A boss is a person who
comes to work on time that          
 the day you are late and
is late on the days when you arrive      
go on time.                       
 46. What is baldness?              
 The process of replacing combing with washing.
 47.  Why children are told
fairy tales?                                   
 Fairy tales are scary stories,
told to children for the purpose of under-       
 preparing them for reading newspapers.            
 48. What is a footnote?                 
    A way to distract the reader.              
 49. Who is a bachelor?               
This is the man who every morning
comes to work a different way.          
 50. What is a circus?                   
 This is the place where animals behave
like people, and people like monkeys -            
yans.                                  
 51. Who is a driver?                  
 A person dexterous enough to
drive a car, and be smart enough -           
nyy, so as not to have it.               
 52. What does saving mean?            
 Saving is the art of spending
money without getting any satisfaction from it -          
 permission.                            
 53. Is it possible to rape a woman on
street?                                    
 No, because passers-by will interfere
advice.                                 
 54. What is the most beautiful city?       
 Of course, Yerevan.                      
 How many bombs are needed for Yerevan?      
 And Tbilisi is also a beautiful city.        
 55.  Is it possible to rape on the go?
woman?                                  
 No, because a woman with her skirt pulled up
runs faster than a man               
 with his trousers down.                 
 56. What is a foxtrot?               
    This is love standing up.                      
 57. Is love limitless?            
 Everything has a beginning and an end. love
begins with an ideal, and ends with -              
 rests under the blanket.                 
 58. Can a man climb into
bottle?                                  
 Yes, if there is a naked woman there.         
 59.  How to write correctly: “breast” or
"grut"?                                  
 Correct spelling is "grut", check
the word is "tit".                         
 60.  Which is better: the wife is beautiful, yes
someone else's, or scary - but your own?            
    It's better to eat cake together than shit in
alone.                                 
 61. What does the chicken think when running away from
rooster?                                   
 Am I running too fast?..       
 62. What does the old rooster think as he runs
for chicken?                               
 If I don’t catch up, at least I’ll warm up.            
 63. What does the young rooster think?
running after the chicken?   I'll catch up - what will I do?             
 64. Why are academicians counted according to
members, and the sheep - on the heads?           
    They count by weak points.             
 65. Can a woman get pregnant from
dust?                                     
 Maybe if there is a lot of dust.       
 66. Is it possible to possess a woman
swallowed a needle?                        
 It is possible, if first on the member
put on a thimble.                         
 67. Why is the floor in the men's toilet
sprinkled with sawdust?                        
 So as not to break the eggs if you fall.    
 68. Can a woman live on
daily allowance?                                 
 Yes, if she doesn't have her period.     
 69. What is the difference between a woman's leg
and the Eiffel Tower?                       
 None, the higher you climb, the more
breathtaking.                          
 70. What do a woman and
a cigarette?                                
 Both must be
dent.                                   
 71.  Is it possible to paint eggs for Easter?
with a brush?                                
    It's possible if you're not afraid of tickling.       
 72. Why is the male penis so early
retiring?                         
 Because it often works at night
shift, in the hot shop and                   
 upside down.                         
 73. What is the difference between the penis and
soldering iron?                                
 The soldering iron is always hard, but notalways
hot, but the penis is the opposite.         
 74. What is higher than love?                   
    Navel.                                
 75.  What we look at from above and lick
from below?                                    
 Postage stamp.                       
 76. Why did Allen Dulles disperse his
intelligence agents?                      
 Because they couldn't find out:    
 1. Where Kuzka’s mother lives.           
 2. What DOSAAF does.             
 3. Where is the Armenian radio located.     
 77. Why does the chicken have no panties?       
    Because the rooster has no arms.         
 78. Is it possible to increase the fertility rate
within five years?                       
 This question is difficult to answer, because...
weaponproduction finds -              
 is in private hands.                   
 79. Is it possible to sleep with an open
a window?                                
 It's possible, but it's better with a woman.           
 80. Why do women wear black stockings?
    This is mourning for the lost
virginity.                            
 81. Why do nuns wear black
clothes?                                   
    They are afraid to expose the film.              
 82.  Does ginseng root help with
sexual impotence?                         
 Yes, if you tie it tightly.      
 83. How to use correctly
ginseng?                                 
 Not ginseng, but women. Just like
men, only on the other side.          
 84.Is it possible to cross a cow with
a bear?                                 
 Even necessary, because  in the summer she will be
give milk and suck paws in winter.        
 85. What to do if arctic foxes crawl out of
minks?                                    
 Sew buttons.                     
 86. How to get twins?              
 Wrap the penis in carbon paper.             
 87. What to do if you dream on
foreign language?                        
 Take a translator to bed.          
 88.  What is the difference between a husband and
astronaut?                              
 The astronaut knows his backup, and the husband
no.                                      
 89.  How to write “in the bushes”: together or
separately?                                
 Of course, together, there’s nothing there separately
do.                                   
 90. Can a rum-baba excite
a man?                                  
 Yes, if the rum is in the glass and the woman is on
sofa                                   
 91. Why are Armenians always lucky?      
 Because fortune is afraid to turn around
back to them.                              
 92. Can a woman live with a monkey?
    No, because the monkey has no money.       
 93. What is the difference between a knight and a girl? 
 The knight fights to the last drop, and
girl - to the first.                      
 94. How to prevent conception?    
    You need to drink Narzan.                    
    Before or after?                         
    Instead of.                               
 95.  Is it possible to get pregnant from
valeriandrops?                      
 It is possible if Valerian is from 16 to 50.  
 96. Can a woman become a goalkeeper?  
 Yes, if it can withstand the penalty.
 97. Who is a donkey?                   
 This is a husband who is traveling south with his
wife.                                    
 98. Who is a donkey?                   
 A husband who sent his wife alone to the south.
    99. How to divide one bunch into five
parts?                                   
    Fart into your glove.  100. What is it
sausage?                                
    This is a sausage in an excited state.
101. What is the name of Khrushchev's hairstyle?   
 Vintage 1969.  102. What is it
"cross to cross"?                         
 This is a pop on a nurse. 103. About what
do they call a woman "decent"?   This is a woman who gives everyone
in order.                                  
 104. What kind of woman are they talking about       
"slut"?                             
 This is a woman who yearns,
she gets sad and goes to bed alone.         
 105. What does a “reactive” husband mean?      
 This is the husband who is the same - 104 times, and the wife
not once.                                  
 106. Hthat is “green, crunchy, but not  
money"?                                  
    Fifty rubles.                    
 107.Why do Russian women wear shoes  
with thick heels?                       
 Because they have a grid in one hand,
in the other - Svetka, in front               
 five-year plan, and drunk Ivan is behind.
 108. What work does the real
man sitting on the toilet, mental or   
physical?                               
 Mental, otherwise he would have hired
anyone.                              
 109. Did Eve cheat on Adam?              
    Of course, after all, man originated from
monkeys.                                 
 110. What can you remove from a naked woman?    
 Naked man.                       
What can be removed from a naked man?     
 Naked Georgian.                       
 And what can be removed from a naked Georgian?   
 One and a half kilograms of wool.           
 111.Can a woman make a man   
a millionaire?                              
 Yes, if he is a billionaire.            
 112. Why don't Armenians fly into space?   
    If you launch an Armenian into space, everything
Armenians will die of joy,                  
    Georgians are out of envy, but who are we
let's leave the Caucasus - to these stinking ones             
    Azerbaijanis?!                      
 114.Can dwarfs play football?   
 No, because  the grass stings the eggs.      
 115. Why does the rooster sing so loudly?       
 Because he has ten wives and no
one mother-in-law.                               
 116. Which nation is the stupidest?           
 But we have the best cognac!     
 117. Why did art cease to exist?
Myansky radio?                            
The Jew who answered the question has died
questions.