Byvalshchina - Chukchi.

   
                                          
Music By CRAZY DOCTOR           
(c) SISOFT/TRG                  
                                          
 Chukchi is not a nationality 
                                             Chukchi is a diagnosis. 
 (C) People 
                                          
 Once the Chukchi wanted to become a general
Secretary of the CPSU Central Committee. And he became.               
                                          
 Once I brought a Chukchi to the border unit
Geologist and says: “However, the spy
caught."  They ask him: “Why are you
Did you assume that this man is a spy? - Yes,
however, as I walk, I see: this man is standing and
knocks on the rock with a hammer.  I ask: "Are youwho?" And he: "Head of the party." The Chukchi are not
fool, Chukchi knows who our boss is
Party!"                               
                                          
Once the Chukchi were asked: "Chukchi, you
want to become an Honorary Academician
Academy of SciencesUSSR?"The Chukchi thought and
said:  "However, good! For even numbers - 
academician, on odd days - catch fish!   
                                          
Once a Chukchi brought his
novel.   The editor read it and said: "
You see, it’s rather weak... You should have the classics
read. Have you read Turgenev? And Tolstoy? A
Dostoevsky?.." - "However, no; Chukchi -
not a reader, Chukchi is a writer."           
                                          
 The Chukchi came home from Moscow and said:
"The Chukchi was in Moscow, the Chukchi became smart,
knows: It turns out that Karl, Marx,Friedrich,
Engels  not four people, but two, but
Slava Kpss is not a person at all."
/option: ...-not a Jew."/, /option: "...
therefore the sculptural group "Karl,
Marx, Friedrich, Engels" is renamed to
"Karl Marx, Friedrich Engels and comrades"
we reduce the herd of deer of the same name
doubled."/                                  
                                          
One day a Russian says to the Chukchi: "Come on
play: I'm asking a riddle; guess  
- I give you a ruble, no - you give me." -
"Come on."  They are playing.  "One inside is red,
The outside is black and shiny."  -  "Tyu-
lazy?"  - "No."  -  "Deer?"  - "No." -
"Then I don't know." - "One galosh." Chukchi  
puts a ruble. "Two red inside, outside
black and shiny." - "Seal?" - "No."
- "Deer?"  - "No." - "Then I don't know." -
"Two galoshes." Ruble...                    
 ...Night, Russian and Chukchi are sitting, playing.
"1689 inside red, outside black and
shiny."  -  "Seal?"   -  "No." -
"Deer?"  -  "No."  -  "Then I don't know." -
"1689 galoshes"...                           
                                          
 The Chukchi returned from the army, and his wife -child.  "However, where does the child come from: me
wasn’t it?”   - "So you are
I sent you a photo from the army, remember?”
- "However, but there I am up to the waist"...  
                                          
Two Chukchi are sitting on the shore of the Arctic
ocean.  One says:  "If you want, I'll give you  
will I tell you a political joke?” - "However,
No, otherwise they’ll send you somewhere else.”        
                                          
 A Chinese representative came to the Chukchi:
"We will fight with you. How many of you are there?" -
"There will be about five hundred people. And you?" - "One
billion."  - "Tch-tsk-tsk, however, where is
Are we going to bury you?"                      
                                          
The Chukchi says to his wife: "You don't know,why
they say about us that we are like that /knocks on
tree/ ?" Wife: "They're knocking." Chukchi: "Sit, I
I'll open it myself."                              
                                          
 Once a Chukchi bought a cabinet with an internal
mirror.   Opens it at home:  "Wife,
Look, my brother has come to see me!"  Wife
comes up: "And some kind of woman with him..."      
                                          
The Chukchi speaks at the congress: "Comrades! Before
Great October Socialist
We, the Chukchi, experienced two revolutions
feelings: hunger and feeling 
cold.  Now we experience three feelings:
feeling hungry, feeling cold and feeling
deep satisfaction!"               
                                          
The Chukchi arrives at the State Planning Committee. "However, 3000
we need bricks."  -  "Why?" -
"Economic experiment."   Dali.
The Chukchi arrives in a year. "However, 3000
I need bricks."     -  "Why?" -
"Economic experiment."   Dali.
The Chukchi arrives in another year. "However,
We need 3000 bricks."   -  "Why?" -
"Economic experiment."  Dali, but
decided to check that he is with bricks
does.  They come and see: the Chukchi is sitting on
shore, throws bricks into the water. "What are you
are you doing?" - "However, I think: why bricks
square, but the footprints on the water are round?     
                                          
Once they put the Chukchi and the monkey on
uninhabited island. They arrive - at the Chukchi
huge ears, and the monkey has a bump on his forehead.
We repeated the experiment.  They're coming again
same thing.   Repeated again
experiment and decidedtrace. Viewing:
The Chukchi sticks out his ear: "Is that noise?"
Monkey - knocking on his forehead -
"Wow!!!"                            
                                          
 Chuka National Theater staged
performance "Caesar and Brutus" in three
branches.   Act one.  On stage
a big Chukchi comes out and hits himself with his fist
in the chest: "I am Caesar!" Curtain. Action
second.  The big Chukchi come on stage,
Chukchi are smaller.  Large:  "I am Caesar!"
Smaller: "I am Brutus!" Curtain. Action
third.  The big Chukchi come on stage,
Smaller Chukchi and little Chukchi. Large:
"I am Caesar!"  Smaller: "I am Brutus!" Ma-
lazy: "I am Brutus!"  Large: "And you -
Brutus?" Curtain.                                           
 The Chukchi arrived in Moscow. Rides in a taxi
city.   Suddenly, across the street - an old woman.
The driver goes to the right, and the old woman to the right,
the driver goes left and the old lady goes left. Barely
missed each other.  They move on. Chukchi says:
"The Russian hunter is a bad hunter. If
The Chukchi didn’t open the door - the old woman would have left!”
                                          
The Chukchi were warned that Moscow
Taxi drivers are crooks. The Chukchi arrived in Moscow,
took a taxi ride. The driver tells him:
"Your three makes twenty-five." The Chukchi thinks:
"The Chukchi is not a fool, the Chukchi cannot be fooled."  AND
begins to count down: one - twenty-five,
two - twenty-five, three - twenty 
five.                                     
                                          
 One day the Chukchi went to Moscow.  Him
they say: "Bring the deficit."  - "And where
this?" - "And when you see the queue, it means fordeficit." And now the Chukchi are in Moscow. Caught
taxi and says to the driver: "Take for
deficit."  - "In GUM? At TSUM? In Petrovsky
passage?" - "However, where is the line longer."
The driver drove Chukchu to GUM. Chukchi came out
to Red Square, I saw a queue in
Mausoleum and says to the taxi driver: "However, I
I’ll stand here, and you follow me in the evening
come in." In the evening the taxi driver arrived and
asks:  "So how is it?"  -  "However, not
lucky: by the time I reached the counter - 
The seller died."                          
                                          
 They are riding in a taxi in the front seat, next to
the driver is a Chukchi, and in the back is a Georgian.
The driver asks Chukchi: “Where are you going?” A
The Chukchi only knows how to ask in Russian:
"How's Dilya?" - "Where, where?" - "How's it going?!"
- "I don't understand," - "How's Dilya?!" Bparent
turns to Gruzin: "What is he saying?"
- "Patamuchto!"                            
                                          
Once upon a time the Chukche in Moscow, a taxi driver wished
riddle:  "Who is my mother's son, but not mine
brother?"  - "However, I don't know." - "I myself!"
The Chukchi returned home and tells
riddle:  "Who is my mother's son, but not mine
brother?"   -  "We don't know."  - "Moscow
taxi driver, however!                         
                                          
The Chukchi received a new apartment and will show
guests.  First room: "Here I have
tundra." Second room: "Here I have
tundra."  Kitchen:  "Here I have a tundra."
Toilet:  "Here is my chum."  Ask him
they say: "Where do you go to the toilet?" - "In
tundra!"                                  
                                          
 Chukchi got an apartment and brags
friends: "The apartment is good, but
the washbasin is strange: I press the handle,
water begins to flow;  wash your hands again
I have time, but I can’t brush my teeth.”         
                                          
One day a Chukchi came to the store: "However,
how much does this accordion cost? - "We are Chukchi
We don't sell accordions."  The Chukchi went,
dressed up as Khokhla.  "There will be skill
Is an accordion worth it?  - "We are an accordion to the Chukchi
We don’t sell them."  I went and changed my clothes
Georgian.  "Why is this accordion?" - "We  
We don’t sell accordions to the Chukchi.” - "And how are you
Every time you find out that I am Chukchi? - "A
only the Chukchi can call it an accordion
steam heating battery."              
                                          
Once a Chukchi came into the store: "However,
Do you have any shampoo?" - "There is only “Egg” -
"However, it's a pity. I really wanted to wash myself."   
                                          
 Once a Chukchi bought a refrigerator.  His
they ask:  "Chukchi, why do you need
refrigerator?" -  "However, to keep warm in winter:
In winter it's -40 outside and -4 in the refrigerator." 
                                          
One day a Chukchi came to the store: "However,
Do you have color TVs?" - 
"Yes", -  "Then please give
green."                                 
                                          
The Chukchi arrives at the camp in corduroy
jeans  They ask him:  "Why do you need
corduroy jeans?  - "However, to
Each louse ran along its own path."    
                                          
The Chukchi is drowning and screaming: "However, I drink water!
However, I drink a lot! However, here for the night
I'll stay!"                                
                                          
 Two Chukchi approach the head of the train.
First:  "This train will take me to
Leningrad?" - "No." Second: "And me?"   
                                          
 One day the station manager sees: comingChukchi to the train carriage and hits it
head, goes to the next one - and
head, approaches the third - and
head, etc.  The boss asks:
"Chukchi, are you crazy?"  - "However, no,
The Chukchi are looking for a soft carriage."                 
                                          
 Once a Chukchi was traveling on a train. Arrives -
all covered in bruises and abrasions. "Chukchi, what's wrong
By you?"  - "However, I was riding on the top shelf,
I kept falling down." - "So why don't you
swapped with the one on the bottom shelf
were you driving?"  - "However, I couldn’t change - there
there was no one."                          
                                          
 One day a Chukchi approaches the train ticket office
long-distance. "Tell me, is train 975
going to Berkakit?"  -  "No." - "And the train
1007 goes to Berkakit? - "No." - "A
Is train 911 going to Berkakit? - "No." - "A
where?"  - "On ...!!!"  -  "And this is through
Berkakit?"                                
                                          
 Once the Chukchi was riding in the same compartment with Deitsa.
The Chukchi clamped a metallic metal in his teeth
record and sits playing on it:
"Dzingnnnn!..Dzzinnnnn!..Dzzinnnnn!.."
Girl: "Stop it!"  The Chukchi put aside his
musicycal instrument and began to look 
window.  After a while the girl came out,
changed clothes, returned and sat down very
seductive.  The Chukchi began to look at
her. Girl: "Do you want it?" - "I want it." - "Well
come on, just quickly!"  The Chukchi grabbed
teethrecord:  "Ding - ding - ding -
ding ding!"                             
                                          
 A Chukchi asks at the Aeroflot ticket office:
"How long does it take the plane to Chukotka?" - 
"Just a minute..." - "Thank you."               
                                          
 The Chukchi is calling the Politburo of the CPSU Central Committee. "Hello,
I want to become a member of the Politburo. What for
is this necessary?"  They answer him:  "What are you,
idiot?" - "Is this necessary?"            
                                          
One day a Chukchi returned from Moscow and
says: "However, I saw Moscow.
slogan "Everything in the name of man, everything for the good
"I saw a man, and I saw this man." 
 A Chukchi runs down the street and shouts: "Freedom
Gorbachev!    Freedom for Gorbachev!"   His
stop.  "Chukchi, are you crazy?" -
"However, I just heard on the radio: "In
imprisonment Mikhail Sergeevich Gorbachev
said...!"                               
                                          
 Chukchi tells his wife:
"Perestroika is like ours in the taiga
hurricane: noise above, darkness and bumps below
are falling."                                  
                                          
 At the request of my fellow tribesmen I went
Chukchi to Moscow to find out when it will be
communism.   Chukchi comes to receive
Gorbachev and asks:  "When will it be
communism?"  -  "Look: you see, it’s standing
my "Volga", "Volga" Lukyanova, "Volga"
Ligacheva.  That's when he'll stand next to you
yours "Volga",  then, consider it to be
communism." The Chukchi returned to the camp.
"Did you find out?"  -  "Found out. You see, there are mine
High boots, your boots and more boots. That's when
Gorbachev's high boots will stand nearby, then,
count, and there will be communism.                
                                          
 Two Chukchi look at the sky.  "However,
the plane is flying!     Government!" -  
"However, it is unlikely: when the government,
then there were motorcycles in the district: “trrrrr!”
                                          
 One day a Chukchi is walking along Red Square.
Stopped and looked at his watch on Spasskaya
tower.   A man approaches.  "Do you like it?" -
"I like it,"  -  "Do you want it?"  -  "I want," -   
"Give me a thousand rubles and wait for me here, I
I'll run down the stairs." Took the money and
ran away.  A few hours later Chukchi
realized that he had been deceived. Came home
told everything. His brother arrived in Moscow.
Standing on Red Square, looking at his watch.
A man approaches. "Do you like it?" - "I like it,"
-  "Do you want it?"   - "I want," - "Give me a thousand 
rubles and wait for me here, I'm behind the stairs
I'm running away." - "Oh, no! Chukchi is not a fool! You wait
me, I’ll run away myself!”                      
                                          
 Chukchi won  "Volga" by lottery
ticket.  Comes and says: "Give me
red "Volga"." And to him: "Do you want a black one?
green?  blue?  yellow?  And we have red ones
no."   - “Oh, so,” says the Chukchi, “
then give me back my fifty kopecks."  
 Once a Chukchi bought a "Volga" and went to
to brag about your camp, but how
I forgot to brake.  Spun, spun,
and crashed hard into a stone. The car -
to pieces, he ended up in the hospital. Ver-
returned from the hospital some time later
home and says: "The doctors said, okay,
that there are no brains, otherwise there would be a concussion." 
                                          
Once a Chukchi bought a "Zhiguli". Came to
them to their camp.  The people poured out
admires. One Chukchi wiped the headlights. "However,
what big eyes!" Another patted
roof.   "However, what a tough skin!"
The third one pulled the exhaust pipe.
"However, it's a male!"                        
                                          
 The Chukchi went on a trip by car.
The entire camp saw him off.    Via
After some time a telegram arrives:
"I arrived fine, so-and-so will be back."The entire camp poured out to meet him. Waiting
Chukchu - no.  They wait a day, wait two.
He arrives in a month.  They ask him
why such a delay? "However, there are three
speed, and back - one, and the head
gets tired of following the others backwards."  
                                          
 One day, a Chukchi and his son are hunting in the taiga.
They see a squirrel.  Pfft! "However, it's a skin."
They see an elk. Pfft! "However, it's meat." They see
- geologists.  Pfft!  Pfft!  Pfft!  "However, -
matches."                                  
                                          
 A Chukchi sits with his wife and daughter in a tent. Above
The helicopter flies by like crazy. Chukchi says:
"Again the big car is flying, again
bearded people will come, drink fire water
they will, they will beat me, /my wife/ they will beat you  
will be, /daughter/ you ..... will be:
expedition!"                              
  A Geologist was freezing in the taiga. The Chukchi found him,
brought to his home, fed, watered, with
I put my wife to bed. Geologist in a rush
gratitude invited him to his place
guests to Moscow.  And after a while
time receives a telegram from the Chukchi: "I'm going,
meet." The geologist thinks: "Well, I'll feed you,
I'll give you a drink, but don't put it with my wife-
noah!"  I ran to three train stations and found there
"girl" and persuaded her for ten
sleep with the Chukchi.  And the Chukche said: "You
good friend, so why don't I take you with me
Will I lay you down as an everyday wife? I'll put you to bed
his ceremonial wife." The Chukchi returned from
Moscow, says:  "Good city
Moscow!   Good friend Geologist!  And the wife
His front door is so nice! - until now
Since... it's dripping!"                        
                                          
 One Geologist got lost for several days
starving, overgrown and frozen. Crawling and seeing:
The Chukchi sits, and next to it is a mountain of fish. "Chukchi,
give me fish - I'm dying!.." - "however, I can’t,
- you need to ask the boss," - "And who
your boss?" - "I'm my own boss!"
- "Boss, give me some fish!" - "However, take
as much as you want!"                          
                                          
                                          
                                          
 A Chukchi sits in a tent, reading a newspaper
"Pravda" with materials from the congress.   Runs in
man. "Chukchi! There's your deer in the abyss
jumped!"  The Chukchi does not look up from the newspaper.
The second person runs in.  "Chukchi! There are two
your deer jumped into the abyss!" Chukchi
reads a newspaper.  A third person runs in.
"Chukchi! There your whole herd is in the abyss
jumped!"  Chukchi raises his head from
newspapers. "However, -Ten-den-tion!          
                                          
 Two Chukchi are sitting in the tent.  One is reading
newspaper;  after a while he says
with a smart look:  "Something is bothering me
Honduras,"  -  "I told you, -
The second Chukchi answers, “don’t bother him.”  
                                          
 One day, the Chukchi had a sixth child.
Here the Chukchi fills out the metric:
father's nationality is Chukchi,
mother's nationality is Chukchi,
The child's nationality is Chinese.  His
they ask: "What about the Chinese, if you,
Are your parents Chukchi?" - "However, the Chukchi newspaper
I read it, and it says that now everyone
The sixth person on Earth is Chinese."               
                                          
 Once the Chukchi wanted to become related to
Jews.  They come to get married.  "However,
you daughter - we have a son, we want to become related to
you. However, the yurtyou have an old one - a new one
necessary, - they put 5E4 on the table, - However,
You don’t have deer - you need a lot, - they put
another 50,000, - However, your daughter is poor
dressed - richly necessary,"- another 50,000. Old
A Jew says to his wife: "Sarah, don't
does it seem to you that our new
Do your relatives look more Japanese?"   
                                          
The Chukchi delegation came to the reception
commission of the Supreme Council of the USSR and complains:
"We don’t want to be called Chukchi: we’re all about
jokes and witticisms make us sick." - "Okay,
we'll take it into account."  The next day it came out in the newspapers
resolution: "From now on, instead of "Chukchi"
you should say "The Jew is a reindeer herder."    
                                          
The Chukchi appealed to the CPSU Central Committee to
They stopped calling them Chukchi: it’s a shame.  And the Central Committee
The CPSU issued a decree to call the Chukchi
simply "peoples of the Far North".
May Day demonstration.   Commentator
transmits: "A delegation of the peoples of the extreme
North.  They carry banners: "PEACE!",
"WORK!",  "MAY",  "JUNE",  "JULY",
"AUGUST!",... No! After all, this is the Chukchi!" 
                                          
 Representatives of different nations argue about who
his nationality was V.I. Lenin. Russian:
"He was Russian."  -  "Why?"  - "He
was born, made a revolution, died and
pburied in Russia." Englishman: "He was
Englishman."  - "Why?" - "He was cooking
Russian revolution in English  
libraries."   Swiss:  "He was
Swiss."- "Why?"                  
                                          
 - "He was hiding from the Russian Tsar all the time
in Geneva."   Chukchi: "He was a Chukchi." -
"Why?" - "He was very smart."            
                                          
The Chukchi comes to the doctor and says: "What
I have such a feeling that everyone thinks I’m a Chukchi
called?"  The doctor opened his skull and
sees: two parallel convolutions. He took
and he laid them crosswise. Na-uto
The Chukchi gets up and goes to the mirror. "Oh, well
what a great lad I am!”                
                                          
 Two Chukchi are walking through the forest.  One is dragging
a telephone booth, and the second one is a log. "For you
why a phone booth? - "However, if
wolfwill attack, I will hide in it. And you
why a log?" -  "However, if the wolf
will attack, I will throw him and it will be easier for me to run
will be."                                   
                                          
One day one Chukchi walks and sees: another
The Chukchi dug a waist-deep hole and is sitting in it.
"Why did you climb into this hole?" - "However,
You need to take a photo up to your waist." Via
the first Chukcha goes for some time
back and sees: the second Chukchi another hole
digs. “Why are you digging another hole?” -
"However, two copies are necessary."        
                                          
 One day two Chukchi got lost in the taiga.
One says:  "When the Russians get lost,
they shoot into the air. So shoot."
The second Chukchi began to shoot.  Shot
shot and stopped.  "Why are you shooting?
stopped?" - "And I'm out of arrows." 
                                          
 One day a dumb Chukchi got lostin the taiga.
Standing in a clearing, waving his hands: signs
shows: "I'm lost!" Comes out to him
into the clearing another Chukchi, also mute and
shows with signs: "Did you shout at
the whole forest?"                                
                                          
 Once the Chukchi were taught to jump with a parachute.
They explained everything as it should and threw it out
airplane. The Chukchi flies and still can’t
remember what to pull.  Suddenly
sees another Chukchi flying towards him.
He shouts to him: “Brother! Like with a parachute
apply?"   And he: “However, I don’t
parachutist, I am a sapper!                   
                                          
 Army.   "Private Ivanov!"   -  "ME!" -
"Private Petrov!"   -  "I!"  - "Private
Chukchi!"  -  "My!"  - "What is 'Mine'?" - "So
exactly!"    - “What is “So sure”?” -
"Ur-r-ra!!!"                              
                                          
 Once upon a time Chukchistanding on duty. Someone is coming
by. Chukchi: "Password!"  - "Go to...!"
Chukchi: “However, how many years have I been standing, and the password
don't change."                               
                                          
 Once the Chukchi were sent on reconnaissance and
told him: "If the patrol hears you,
scream with some animal, for example
cat."  The Chukchi crawled.  I've scouted everything out
crawls back, then his sentry and
heard.  "Wait! Who's coming?" - "However, we
cats, let's crawl home!"                     
                                          
 Why don’t the Chukchi eat Bulgarian tomatoes?
The head doesn't fit into the jar.              
                                          
 Why don't the Chukchi eat chocolates?
Foil gives me heartburn.                         
                                          
 How does the Chukchi eat sausages?Like this.          
                                          
 How does the Chukchi check the matches in the box?
He takes out a match and strikes it. If the match
bad - does not light up the first time, -
he throws it away if it's good -
lights up the first time - he ha-
sifts and puts it back into the box.            
                                          
Once a Chukchi was riding on the subway and holding on to
handrail  "However,"Marx Avenue" in
this side?"  - "No."  - "Thank you," -
said the Chukchi, turning around and
taking hold of the other handrail.                
                                          
Once a Chukchi stood on Pushkin Square
and looked at the monument to Pushkin.  "However,
who is this?"  - "Pushkin."  - "This is who
Did you write "Mu-Mu"? - “No, “Mu-Mu” wrote
Turgenev."  - "However, it's strange: "Mu-Mu"
Turgenev wrote, and the monument to Pushkin."    
                                          
 We decided to check how much we can
starve.  They put me in different rooms
Russian, African and Chukchi. Placed in
each room by phone and said:
"If you want to eat, call." In three days
Russian called.  A week later I called
African.  But from the Chukchi there is still no sign
call.     A week, another... We decided
check.  They open the door and see: sitting
Chukchi is in front of the phone and says:
“Phone, phone, the Chukchi wants to eat!” 
                                          
Congress of crocodile hunters in the Congo.
An Englishman speaks: "I killed a hundred
crocodiles."  The Frenchman speaks: “I killed
two hundred crocodiles."   The Chukchi speaks: “I
killed fifty nosers." Everyone was surprised and
decided to spy on who the Chukchi were hunting.
They see: a Chukchi creeping up with a rifle
bush, a frightened man jumps out of the bush
black person. Chukchi: "Crocodile?" - "No, Sir!"    
                                          
 One day the Chukchi came to the shaman and
asks what kind of winter it will be - warm or
cold?  The shaman thought: "If I say
warm then hemay not prepare firewood, but
What if the winter is cold?  I'll say ray-
"It's cold." And he said. Then he
he felt ashamed and went to the meteorologists.
He asks: “What kind of winter will it be?” -
"Cold."  - “Why?” - "And there's Chukchi
I went to get some wood."                        
                                          
 Once the Chukchi wanted to get rid of their
sick and rich brother. He invited
Russian karateist and said:
"Disguise as a shaman and kill my brother."
The Russian changed his clothes, entered the tent,
a fuss was heard there.  Russian came out:
the job is done.  Then the Chukchi’s second died
brother and he again called the Russian to finish off
brother  And then the Chukchi thought: “This
a man killed two of my brothers. Now on-
before killing him." And he called the Japanese -
karateist and told him:  "Pretend  
my dying brother, and when under the guise
Russian will enter the shaman - kill him."
The Russian, suspecting nothing, entered
chum;  a fuss and wheezing was heard. Russian
came out and said: “What a brother you had!
He should still live and live!"                
                                          
 Once a Chukchi married a Frenchwoman.
After a while they ask him: “Well
how?"   -  "So what? We've been
divorced."  - "Why?"   - "Yes she is,
It turned out that she was so dirty! To her every day
I have to wash myself!"                       
                                          
Once the Chukchi were asked: “How often do you
Are you washing yourself?"  - “However, once every six months.” -
"So rare? And you don't feel
dirty?"  - However, the first two months
I feel it, and then the dirt falls off on its own -
"                                     
                                          
 The Chukchi goes to the bathhouse, leads a heifer and
carries a large pipe.  They ask him:
"Chukchi, why do you need a chick?" - "However, we are
We always go to the bathhouse with chicks." - "Why
pipe?" - "However, I will be buzzing all night." 
                                          
 Chukchi sits on a tree, chopping under him
bitches    PassesHuman.   "Chukchi, you
you'll fall!"  - “However, it’s unlikely!” Chopped it up
chopped and fell.  He stood up and looked after
person: "A sorcerer, however!"               
                                          
 One day the Chukchi returned from hunting. His wife
and says: “What do you want?” - "However,
I want to eat." She fed him. "What else are you
do you want?"  - “However, I’m thirsty.” She's his
gave me something to drink. "What else do you want?"  - "However,
I want to sleep with you." We slept together. "What else
do you want?"  - “However, I want to take off my skis.”
                                          
 Agricultural
conference.   The Frenchman stands up: "We sow
potatoes on May 15, and harvest on May 16
September."  The Englishman stands up: "We sow
potatoes on April 15, and harvest on April 16
August."  The Chukchi stands up: “We are sowing potatoes
June 15th, and we harvest on June 16th. "His
They ask: “Every other day? Why is that so?”
early?" - “I really want to eat.”          
                                          
 A ship is sailing.  Floats towards him
submarine.  The Frenchman sticks out:
"What course forGrenada?" -
"South-south-west 38."     They sail on.
A second submarine surfaces.
An Englishman sticks out: “What course is
Grenada?" - "South-south-west 38." Sailing
further.  The third submarine surfaces.
The Chukchi sticks out: “However, what course
to Grenada?" - "South-south-west 38." -
"However, let's not be a jerk, but better
wave your hand!"                            
                                          
 A Chukchi sits in a kayak, fishing. Suddenly
a non-Soviet submarine surfaces nearby
boat.  The Chukchi thought: “However, a spy!”
Knocked on the boat. Someone looked out of the hatch
man.   Chukchi: "However, du yu spik
English?" - "Yes, of course!"  Chukchi,
sad: "What use is it?"               
                                          
Once upon a time they introduced
new: driving nails with your head.
Competitions are taking place.     Speaking
French athlete.  Hammered two nails
- and they carried him away with a broken head.
An American athlete performs.  Three
hammered a nail -and he was carried away with a broken
head.  Chukchi speaking. Scored fifty
nails  The result is announced: first
US athlete took second place
took the athlete from France, third place
occupied by the Chukchi. The Chukchi coaches were offended and
Let's go find out why only the third. "Ah
your athlete generally broke the rules: he
hammered the nails with the heads down."            
                                          
 The Chukchi says: “However, in the mountains there is a large
a bird has appeared and is dragging people away! Chukchi three
shot before a man
released. It's called a hang glider!"        
                                          
Once two dogs were sent into space and
Chukchu.  The first round has begun, from the ground
cause:  "Squirrel!"  - "Woof!"  - "Press
red button!"  - "Woof! Woof!"  I went
second round. "Arrow!" - "Woof!" - "Press
white button!"   - "Woof! Woof!"  I went
third round. "Chukchi!" - "Woof!" - “What are you
barking, .....!  Feed the dogs and watch
Don't touch anything!"                      
                                          
 One day Chukchi hired himself to paint a steamboat.
Painted it.    The commission came to accept
work.   They look and say: “Chukchi, huh?
why do you steam only on one side
painted?"  - "However, the Chukchi is not a fool!
The Chukchi read the treaty, it says: Chukchi -
on the one hand, Rechflot - on the other
sides!"                                 
                                          
 One day a Chukchi comes from the store and carries
refrigerator.  They ask him: “Chukchi,
Why do you need a refrigerator, you don’t even need one
Is there nowhere to turn it on?"  - "However, the Chukchi are not
fool! The Chukchi also bought a socket!”         
                                          
 One day the Chukchi sits in a tent. Suddenly in a chum
a little man flies in and starts spinning
under the ceiling and says: “I -
Carlson!"  The Chukchi asks: “Where is your
comrade?"  - "Which comrade?"  - "Well
but Friedrichson..."                      
                                          
 A Chukchi came from Moscow and says:
"However, I ate oranges! The taste is just
how..." - "Seal?" - “No...” - “Deer?”
- “No, it tastes... like... intercourse!”        
                                          
Once friends sent Chukchi a New Year's
parcel: tangerines and red caviar. Chukchi
writes a letter in response: “We received the parcel,
thank you very much for the tangerines. And we cranberries
threw it away - it smells like fish."            
                                          
Once the Chukchi were asked: “Are you in your
Chukotka, are you listening to enemy radio? - "Yes."
- “So what are they saying?”  - "Yes, that's it"
more frightening." - “How do they scare you?” - "But
so: oo-oo-oo!”                            
                                          
Once a Chukchi took him hunting with him
Russian.  They go and see a den. Chukchi
threw a stone there, crawled out of the den
angry bear andrushed at
hunters  The Chukchi rushed to his heels, followed by
Russian, behind them is a bear. They run, they run,
then the Russian realized what was on his shoulder
hanging carabiner. He tore off his carbine while running,
came back and killed the bear on the spot.
The Chukchi comes up and says: “However,
Russian hunter is a bad hunter. Why
have you killed a bear now? It was necessary first
run to the house, and now who will drag him
will it be?"                                   
                                          
Once the Chukchi were asked which ones he knew
ambassadors      "However, I know" Ambassador
Extraordinary", I know "Ambassador Plenipotentiary"
and I know "ambassador to..."                    
                                          
 The Chukchi sits and says: “I’m tired
Today the Chukchi, oh, tired!" They ask him:
"Why are you tired?" - “However, I thought today.
Very tired." - "Why so tired?" -
“However, today I thought about it three times.”   
                                          
 Two Chukchi are sitting, sawing a bomb. Passes
a guy passing by.  "Hey, what are you doing?you do, she's the same
will explode!" -  "However, it’s okay, we still have
There is one!"                               
                                          
 Two Chukchi are talking: "However, a fool
Nikolashka was an emperor..” - “Why?”
- “Because he sold Alaska to the Americans, and
Chukotka - no."                           
                                          
 A Chukchi is coming, wearing a cap with four
visors.  They ask him: “Chukchi, well,
the visor in front and the visor in the back are
you can understand, but why the visors?
sides?" - "However, so as not to fool your ears
hanged!"