Humor - Brother II.

                                                              
                                                              
AY-Track: Soundtrack to "бРАТ'2"                              
By: Macros,18.12.2000,Kotlas/Limenda                          
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-Какая  цель  вашего  визита в судострои-
тельный  завод ? - спросила вахтёрша Гэн-
дальфа,стремящегося пройти на территорию.
                                                              
-Чего  ?  -  с непонимающимanswered with a look
Gandalf.                                
                                                              
-Do you speak English? - ask politely
watchman's strength.                           
                                                              
-Ah... no, I don’t understand. - answered our geo-
swarm and moved on.                 
                                                              
But then the translator just came up,
big man in a sweatshirt with long black hair
with my mustache:                                
                                                              
-Where are you going, you bastard?! - he yelled directly
in Gandalf's face.                        
                                                              
-And I have this... Conference on new
machine technologies and workpiece protection
from unlicensed duplication.        
                                                              
-How long will you be on site?
factory?                                 
                                                              
-Four hours! - without any doubt from -
said Gandalf.                          
                                                              
-Where will you live?                       
                                                              
-At the hotel. - answered Gandalf, havingmind
hull shop.                           
                                                              
-Wellcome to the SRZ! - the man yelled and
kicked our hero in the right direction
laziness.                                   
                                                              
Gandalf walked towards the backwater,
taking in the picturesque landscapes. Every now and then he
understood that the plant was an ideal place for
alien activities.                 
                                                              
“In this workshop,” he was talking to his co-worker.
battle - they make engines for their le-
melting plates. But this one contains the hulls.  
                                                              
-What are they doing here? - threatening
asked a man in a helmet who came up behind him
not and grabbed Gandalf by the shoulder.         
                                                              
-What do you want? - Gandalf said disgustedly
and tried to free himself.                
                                                              
-I ask, what are these axes doing here?
Take them to the warehouse immediately! - commando-
the man was still holding Gandalf by the
shoulder                                   
-What are you telling me here? I don't understand
your #ra! - said our hero, took out
from your pocket the bolt and with all your mightshiba-
hit her man on the head. The man collapsed,
leaving behind a smoking trail, and Gen-
Dalf went further, taking with him but-
your weapon - a rotten board with a nail and
kilogram washer.                     
                                                              
-Hai! - came from behind.           
                                                              
Gandalf inadvertently kicked the stranger
and she fell to the ground.                
                                                              
-Oh, who is this? - muttered incomprehensibly
when he turned around he saw lying
next to him is a little girl about a year old,
tee.                                      
                                                              
- What a bastard! - she moaned, brushed off -
she woke up and began to rise.              
                                                              
-Sorry, madam... I didn't notice you. -
Gandalf began to apologize.          
-What are you, a foreigner or what?              
                                                              
- Yes, I don’t understand, in your opinion...            
                                                              
-Where are you from? For example, I am from there. -
She pointed to the office. And you ?    
                                                              
-Ah... And I'm from there. -Gandalf pointed to
the opposite shore of the backwater. How about you
call something? I'm Gandalf.              
                                                              
-And I'm Kat. Do you have acid?        
                                                              
-So you need to go to the battery for acid-
go...                              
                                                              
-You're such a fool, he's definitely a foreigner. Okay,
there will be money - come in! - and she galloped off to
office                                 
                                                              
And Gandalf was very happy, because now he
he had a friend in the camp of enemies. He's
realized that Kat is not an alien, because on
she didn't have a sweatshirt and she didn't use any alcohol
it smelled.                                   
                                                              
Having bought a helmet and a sweatshirt along the way for foreign currency,
wow, Gandalf put all this on himself. Te-
now they began to take him for one of their own, bla-
thanks to which he became a little rich. Having reached
to the shore, he realized that he had to go,
basically, there was nowhere to go and he went back to
office, along the way taking with him a bearing
nickname is heavier.                         
 Having counted the third window from the left, Gandalf
He swung with all his might and called out to Kat. Stack
It crashed, but she ran out almost immediately
his girlfriend and covered him with somethingrelies.
                                                              
-Do you have a husband? - somehow behind the market
asked Gandalf.                        
                                                              
-Eat!  - Kat answered, continuing the process
accepting currency. - By the way, it would be nice
and have a snack. Maybe we can go to my place?        
                                                              
-What about the husband? - with some hope in
our hero asked in a voice.                
-And what about the husband? My husband is fixing the shower!              
                                                              
-Plumber?                             
                                                              
-Nope. Locksmith.                          
                                                              
This is where Gandalf began to understand. This
it was no coincidence that he learned about the aliens' plans
exactly from the locksmith. Probably already formed
some kind of militia was formed, which
set up their meeting.                   
                                                              
-How are things going in the resistance? - asked
direct question Gandalf.                  
                                                              
-What other resistance? - surprised
Kat.Gandalf understood that his friend could not-
I shouldn’t talk about it so directly, but he
realized that then, later, she would introduce him to
course of business.                               
 They came to Kat's house. Having emptied the cold
dilnik, Gandalf found under the table
stash and drank it in one gulp. After smoking a joint
and eating a sandwich with solid oil (drunk
Gandalf mistook it for jam), he fell asleep
right in the kitchen.                          
 Night has come, and only a lone watchman
factory drummed a sledgehammer on a barrel of so-
Larkoy.  So he protected the fuel from damage.
Sheltsev and at the same time counting down the time
before the end of the shift.                      
 Finally, the sun rose, Kat got ready and
went to work, and our hero was still sleeping.
Suddenly the doorbell rings.                  
                                                              
-Who's there? - asked Gandalf.           
                                                              
-Where is the husband? - was heard from behind the door.  
                                                              
-And my husband ate too many pears! - Gen proudly blurted out -
dalf.  First he made sure that the shower was in
integrity and safety.                   
                                                              
 The guest did not let up and persistently called.      
                                                              
-What do you need? - asked Gandalf, understandingmay that it’s time to take up arms.         
                                                              
 He ran to the bedroom and barricaded himself
there. With a jigsaw he found nearby, he
sawed through the loopholes in the doors and pushed them out
weapons - pipes for 100 and 150, a set of retractable
zhek, as well as throwing kilogram
washers.                                   
                                                              
Meanwhile, the guest rammed the entrance
door, and, swearing, ran back and forth across
apartment.                                
                                                              
Gandalf remembered an old school poem -
stealing:                                 
                                                              
I found out that I have                     
 There is a huge family:                    
 Both compressor and pump,                  
TV, vacuum cleaner,                     
 And the cylinders are blue -                     
 They are all mine, dear ones!                    
 And other garbage -                     
 I love everyone in the world.                  
 With these words he threw at the enemy
big jerking file.  Alien
evaporated, and Gandalf with a deep feeling
of satisfaction I broke everything in the windows
glass and went to storm the secret
alien laboratory.                  
 He understood that the most difficult thing was
go through the wardrobe. He will be met by a barrage of fire
aluminum tags and trap type
hooks for clothes.                      
 And now he is already at the gate. Each window has a red
a grate stuck in, and on the roof around the perimeter
barbed wire was strung. Gandalf
I decided to sing a song:                       
 /                               
We are not suckers, not cretins,                 
 We are lead plates.                
We are used entirely                 
 They will wash it and get back into business.            
                                                              
Tighten the nuts tighter,                    
 And fill it with electrolyte!                   
 Otherwise we'll dry you out                 
Decomposed carbide!                 
                                                              
 They took us out of the case                  
 In order to provide current.              
If we have a lot of sulfate -             
 This has a lot of implications.                  
                                                              
Pour more acid,                 
 We are losing our properties!                
 Charge us longer                  
 From the charger!                
                                                              
...but changed his mind and started breaking down the door. On
a figure appeared on the roof. Next-
the next moment a huge
workbench  "And what do I need the console for?" -thought
our hero continued his occupation.      
 Suddenly he heard the familiar dragging
steps. In horror he turned around and...         
                                                              
-Khail Petukhovich!                        
                                                              
-Hello, General Von Redemptor!    
                                                              
-Sorry...                               
-Kraiden ichthyiden!                      
                                                              
-Oh, I, I! Naturlikh! Frankly, respect-
my Gandalf, I am so glad to see you and me
meeting that I will sing you a song:             
                                                              
 Solariums in the yellow cloud                  
The old car is rusting.                 
 Doesn't sing with his mouth open                
 Saurosha is an idiot!                        
                                                              
And other idiots                         
 Drives fatty acids,  For iron cases                    
 They are jumping, jumping to visit us!           
                                                              
-Allow me too, General Von-Re-
demptor, sing for you:                  
                                                              
 These aliens are very clever               
 They snuck into our canteen,            
 Only me, in kind, special,               
 And the end has come for you all!                
                                                              
The bastard healer passed recruitment             
 Also steaming in the canteen,                
He puts DNA in the soup,                    
 Cooking, cooking, but for now...                 
                                                              
 In the meantime, I'm with you                     
 ANDI'm fighting an unequal battle.                    
You're an alien in a headset,                
Give me Sauron's money!                
                                                              
But, in general, Gandalf decided not to particularly
stand on ceremony and with a well-aimed blow of the trumpet
chilled the alien.                           
 Then, having mined the entire secret laboratory
toriu plastic gasket, he again
went to the factory.                           
 Another bearing flies to the third from the left
window, Kat runs out.                      
                                                              
-Come on quickly, what do you want?               
                                                              
-I'm behind you!  Farm laborers do not have their own in war
throw!                                 
                                                              
-???                                     
                                                              
-Come home with me.                  
                                                              
-What am I going to do there?             
                                                              
-What are you doing here?...The sun was setting, and Gandalf stood,
leaning against the fence. A guy passed by
some guy in a sweatshirt, and our hero
talked to him:                             
                                                              
-Tell me, American. What is the strength?
So Redemptor also said that in liquid
currency. Well, you have a lot of currency, so what are you doing?
So I think the power is in the snack. Who has
the snack is the stronger one.                 
                                                              
 Gandalf took out a dry felt-tip pen and,
scratching on the fence "Rakko not dead",went
home.  He understood that once again
saved people from death. And he didn't need
gratitude, because he understood: Who,
if not him?