LASER SQUAD-II (part 2). .NOVELLA
***
...ANDERSON felt a burning desire to get over his hangover. But nothing
There was no trace of alcohol in these damn catacombs. All
pipes stretching along the walls carried either nasty
water, or high-voltage cables, or some kind of poisonous gas.
ANDERSON himself was convinced of this from his own experience...
ANDERSON came across the patrol by accident...
-Stop! “Who’s coming?!” the soldier called out, firm and obscenely
sober voice.
-I’m this what’s his name... passerby...
-What are you doing here?!
-I'm passing by...
-Where are you going?!
-Of course, on opening day!..
-Do you even know the password?..
-What other password?..- ANDERSON was sincerely surprised.
-Well, tell me the password, is it difficult for you?!
-Which one?password?
-Well, which one? Naturally: “Wonderful weather, it’s not true
is it?..” one of the patrolmen said in a lecturing tone.
“Yes, and the sun shines brightly!..” another played along with him.
ANDERSON looked around absently... There was no sun...
“One sun?..” he asked absentmindedly.
“One thing...” the patrolman answered him.
Well, that was already too much! Even ANDERSON couldn't do it
reschedule...
-What are you doing? Did you fall from the tree? What's the weather like in the catacombs?! And where are you
did you see the sun? Moreover, one thing... They are less than five in a row per
don't show up in the sky!!! At least think with your head, you idiots!..
The bandits looked at each other absentmindedly and began to think. ANDERSON, however
At some point he tried to chew through a nearby pipe. Fortunately, how
for ANDERSON, and for all the catacombs, he failed.
Having realized the futility of his attempts, the fighter returned to the staring
nowhere for the bandits...
“Well, did you remember the password?!” asked ANDERSON, passing
past them.
“What’s the other password?” they asked, staring at the fighter in surprise.
- That’s it right away! And then “weather”, “sun”!..***
...Raising the laser, BARKER once again pulled the trigger, again
there was a smell of burnt meat. Actually, the brave android loved to destroy,
that was his program...
And again the aiming device caught in the crosshairs of the sight
the back of another victim...
...Unable to withstand the mighty blow, the door flew to hell and BAR-
KER, out of old habit, rolled across the floor, firing a laser.
However, it was impossible to say that he rolled across the floor - the floor
there simply wasn’t... BARKER, naturally didn’t bother to read
"ELEVATOR" sign above the door...
...The PUK0 metallurgical officer was descending in the elevator to the lower tier.
The slow elevator of the old generation reluctantly creaked with a cable.
Naturally, he got stuck between floors, as always...
PUK0 cursed... 0th how in vain he forgot the devil... After
something heavy fell, the roof of the elevator car crackled and
failed. What turned out to be in the elevator really resembled
damn...
...BARKER climbed out onto the remains of the elevator roof, there was smoke underneath
shapeless heap of charredmeat. The android itself took up
favorite thing. First of all, the laser beam slashed the cable... Next
BARKER tried to burn down the walls, but for some reason they ran up with
at ever-increasing speed...
***
...JONLAN finally crawled out of the toilet, beaming with joy. Still,
after all, he finally managed to change his diapers... Waiting for him in the corridor
no less pleased TYPHEP - after all, he finally managed to find out that
what happens if you hit yourself on the head with a brick and what happens if
break through a pipe with boiling water over your head, but for complete
One thing he lacked was happiness...
“Sir, look, there’s a bandit with such a big gun!” he said.
he is to JONLAN.
The effect produced by this simple phrase satisfied
private's curiosity - JONLAN wetted his diapers again and disappeared into
toilet. Now TYPHEP was completely happy... However
it didn’t last long - after a minute TYPHEP was dying to
know what will happen if you stick your fingers into a socket...
...JONLAN was not too surprised when he noticed the HAIRSTYLE on his head
TYPHEPA. Frowning, he threwmachine gun on the shoulder and
muttered, adjusting the last box of diapers behind his back:
-Holy shit—we're running out of ammunition!..
***
...ANDERSON crawled on his belly. Not that he was very thirsty
move in exactly this way, but after he found
finally the long-awaited pipe and specifically kissed it, otherwise
he was simply unable to move.
...A herd of horses galloped past, which for some reason, instead of
a normal horse neck and head grew into a human body.
And all of them, as one, stared at ANDERSON - as if he
instead of normal legs, the body of a mare grew... ANDERSON
I was horrified at the thought that it was actually so. I'm drunk with
This has never happened to him before...
-What are you staring at?! You didn't see the soldier, right?!
The herd chose to run away...
...MASIRIAN recently teleported to this forbidden world, and
now he sent his centaur on reconnaissance... Somewhere here
the great and terrible LORD OF CHAOS is wandering... Creepywhat...
-Chief, chief! What did I just see!.. - I started jabbering even more
green centaur, returning from reconnaissance. - What a terrible demon
there crawls on the floor, and it smells like...
“Doesn’t he by any chance look like an egg?!” MAZIRIAN asked in horror.
-No, it doesn’t look like it at all!..
Sighing with relief, MAZIRIAN carefully examined the landscape.
There was a video screen on the wall, several gnawed pipes
stretched along the ceiling. So it is!.. MAZIRIAN once again
cursed his neighbors on the disk - "LASER SQUAD" and "DIZZY-3", and
after and damn USERA, who shoved them onto the same disk with him.
Then he nevertheless thanked all the gods that he was not on
the very bottom of the ocean or in the town where they were planning to land
brave aquanauts...
***
...Despite a lengthy search, Corporal STONE
accompanied by Private XAPPUC0M, was never discovered
hostages... And then a happy
thought...
-Private HARRIS, you receive your first combattask,
get behind enemy lines and capture the language... He's already for us
will tell you exactly where the prisoners are being held...
-Yes, sir! - said HARRIS, who had read RAMBO. Quickly
having painted his face and snatched an army knife, he rushed
extinguish the “yellow scum”... Sly STONE, crouching in the dark
in a nook, rolled a cigarette...
...HARRIS quietly made his way through the dark catacombs, a couple of times
he was almost discovered by patrols. But a resourceful fighter, worthy
Ramba's receiver froze in place, pretending to be a statue...
The flashlight beam once again slid over the frozen HARRIS.
“Who are you?!” the patrolmen asked once again.
-Like who?! The statue of course! It’s time to get used to it a long time ago... - brazenly
HARRIS stated.
-Somehow it seems to me that I have already seen this statue in the past
corridor... - one patrolman noticed.
“Cross yourself, if it seems!..” the “statue” interrupted him.
Having crossed themselves, the disappointed patrolmen wandered on, and
brave HARRIS rushed off to carry out his first combat mission...
...After the ninth roll-up, STONE finally got his due
subordinate. HARRIS still brought the tongue, about five kilos...
Beef... STONE sighed hopelessly...-Here is the language, sir, straight from the headquarters... I pulled it out of the safe!..
“And a powerful safe?” the corporal asked sadly.
- What a great one! Armor in! (here he spread his arms in an impressive
gesture) And the automation... Code lock, made of two buttons, above them
I think it was written: “on” and “freeze”...
“Well, how did you open it?” the corporal asked even more sadly,
realizing that the stupidity of a careless fighter is covered by his ingenuity and
demonstrated heroism.
-Explosives, of course!.. This tongue is all that remains of
safe...
-Well, of course, no one came running to the explosion...
-Why didn’t you “come running”?! They came running, but I outwitted them - I
pretended to be a statue... - HARRIS said proudly.
-And they believed?.. Are they really such fools? -corporal more and more
was convinced that HARRIS would still have to be rewarded for the capture
languages.
-Of course they believed it!.. Rambo hasn’t done such tricks before...
***
...The gloomy Corporal SCOTT sat on the bunk. Failed operation
up towas still in his eyes...
...The fateful day started off well, the weather was good - “what
necessary" and the corporal, like all his colleagues, intended to spend the day
on the beach. The local police chief only welcomed this
pastime, according to his data, did not take place in the city
crimes. During the entire time they were on this planet, the detachment never
I have never taken up a weapon. So today they were peacefully traveling to their
in his landing Cossack to the beach. SCOTT wasn't driving, and
so, out of nothing to do, he looked around as always and
counted the entertainment of the cheerful residents of the city they passed
passed by. After five street fights, three shootings and seven
He lost count of robberies...
...The radio started working right next to the beach, right after
how they once again knocked down the old man in a checkered jacket,
who stubbornly continued to walk every morning with his
stick this road. 0t of impact the old man, as always, dived into
bushes, Private ADAMS, who was driving, tenderly apologized to
old man (the softest phrase in this apology was:
"fucking madzahist")... The voice coming from the speaker,
causing the web woven by the impudent spider to move
walkie-talkies,screamed hysterically:
- ROBBERY! THE BANK ON STEHBEP AVENUE WAS UNDER ARMED ATTACK
FALL OF UNKNOWN PERSONS WEARING MASKS..."
“Well, what do we have to do with it?” SCOTT asked lazily. K
Unfortunately, he couldn’t ask the dispatcher this because the microphone
was missing from their car.
-ALL AVAILABLE VEHICLES URGENTLY GO TO MECT0 INCIDENT-
VIYA! - continued the voice in the speaker.
-We're busy anyway! - SCOTT noted. - We're going to the beach!
-THE PRESENCE OF A LASER PLATOON IS MANDATORY... - their voice broke off.
But the resourceful SCOTT was not at a loss:
-So we will be present on the beach!..
- PRESENCE AT THE OPERATION... - the voice clarified.
The squad sighed in unison...
...They had barely climbed to the top of the stairs leading to the bank when
The bank door swung open and the squad was greeted by the barrel of a pistol,
directed by a trembling hand...
...Thus the entire detachment was captured. Later
The corporal understood why this operation was organized - it was about
that it was in this bank that the president kept his money
"0KEAHCKUX SIMPLEP0B"......Sighing once again, the corporal leaned back on his bunk and with horror
thought about what awaits him in the near future...
***
...BARKER landed in the basement. With a powerful blow he was thrown into
corridor... After about half an hour he finally adjusted his leg
in place. The laser could not be restored. Crying over a corpse
his best friend, BARKER took out the photon cutter and returned to
to my favorite thing...
...SCOTT heard a strange sound outside the door - a blow, some kind of
wheezing, then everything went quiet... Rising from his bunk, SCOTT
I listened, but the sound did not repeat. SCOTT wanted to approach
door, but there was no need to do this - the door flew up to
him, demolished by a monstrous blow from outside...
A giant android stood on the threshold with a photon cutter in his hand.
His eyes sparkled with bloodlust. All three hostages together
followed the example of Corporal JONLAN...
***...In front of the laser corps commander's desk stood again
Captain IRON. The commander again looked at him with suspicion.
report on the operation, compiled by the captain on the way back.
-So that means the bandits killed the hostages with a photon before they died
with a cutter, and then someone used the same cutter to kill the boss
local police, and for this reason I did not receive a response from him
about your actions... Hmm-mm... Strange!... And Private HARRIS
awarded the Order of the Silver Ramba for capturing the language... And the language
this guy probably hanged himself again?..
-No way, sir! 0n froze to death!.. Here are stereophotograms..
-No! Don’t, IRON, please!..- moving away a little from the horror, he
went back to reading the dossier. - So the boss of this mafia was
captured alive, but lost his mind and now insists that he
a wizard from a neighboring game who ended up in the wrong sector?..
All this is strange... Why would he lose his mind?..
-What are you saying, sir, after the meeting with BARKER it’s still not the same
happened... For example...
-Okay, no need for examples... So, further... The city people themselves
the catacombs were demolished by an explosion... The terrorists activated the explosive
device placed in the basement... It’s strange, but in the firemen’s report
it is said that first someonegnawed through a gas pipeline, and for about five minutes
later, someone else brought a match to the hole...
-So the action of this explosive device was based
in these processes...
-Okay! I would personally like to thank your team for completing
such a dangerous and extremely difficult task...
***
...The commander stood in front of the formation and carefully examined
fighters of the great detachment. The bandaged hand of the usually good corporal
JONLANA stubbornly reached for the holster fastened to her belt, but
every time he overcame his hatred of TYPHEPY with the knowledge that
that the resourceful captain IRON had deprived him of his weapon in advance.
Bandaged by no less than a corporal, TYPHEP and unusually sober
ANDERSON (today he stood almost independently) held on
away from the rest of the squad. Android BARKER found himself
a new hobby - now his uniform was embroidered with the scalps of the defeated
enemies, and in vain HARRIS looked for his book “The Last of the Mohicans”.
Now the painted HARRIS is strapped to his belt instead of a pistol
bow and arrows (probably moving away from reading "Rambo" he
couldn't)...... When the commander spoke, the highly experienced detachment immediately
I realized that IRON is not a unique sleeping pill. Finally,
when the speech was over and the commander blessed them on
future exploits headed to his helicopter, the soldiers of the detachment
minded their own business, or rather the joint pursuit of TYPHEP0M
and ANDERSON...
TNE END
when the speech was over and the commander blessed them
future exploits headed to his helicopter, the soldiers of the detachment
minded their own business, or rather the joint pursuit of TYPHEP0M
and ANDERSON...
TNE END
P.S. To write or not to write LASER SQUAD-III-that's the question...
──────────────────────────────── ────────────────────────────────
Author: AK-47.
N. Tagil 199bg.
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0t ch. editor: I’ll answer the question - write, write and again
write!!! (emphasis on the first syllable...). I must say that when-
There haven't been any texts yet about the AK-47 short stories in our newspaper!!!
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