Tale - The story is real, because it happened with my direct participation.

 Tale 

 The story is real because it happened
with my direct participation.
I came to visit a friend in America.  He me
met me at the airport, and so it began...
On the third day we went to have dinner at
some establishment, and I came to
head thought that in itself was already
unusual, considering the three-day
stuck. “Dima,” I say, “but don’t you
it seems like we're with you for the third day
We drink non-stop, and all the beer is there,
all sorts of whiskey, but vodka, in Russian
that is, you haven’t gotten drunk yet?”  - "Yes, without
“problem,” Dima replies, “give me some vodka.”
I must say that they mostly have
or Smirnoff, or Absolute, at least
It seemed to me so, but here we look - it’s worth it
in the bar there is a bottle from the Posolskaya plant
Crystal... We order food, more precisely
snack.  Then there is a dialogue between
us and the bartender:
     We:
     - Well, that bottle of vodka there.
     Bartender:
     - You can't.
     We (amazed):
     - ???
     Bartender:
     - We don't sell bottles.
     We (not understanding how else it can be
sell):
     - How do you sell it?
     Bartender:
     - Shots (i.e. 50 g glasses)
     We (calculating in our minds):
 - Then ten shots.Bartender:
     - You can't.
     We (scoffs, bastard):
     - Why?
     Bartender:
     - This is a big dose, I need to be
confident that you can pay.
     We (is this a BIG dose? Is he an idiot?):
     - Yes, we will pay, we will pay!
     Dima is here, like he’s already practically a local
a resident, tunes in and adds:
     - Yes, we will pay now! Forward! Yes
is it possible?
     Bartender (after thinking):
     - Yes.
     We (taking out and starting to leaf through
money):
     - And now you need to drain five shots each
in a separate glass, five and five.  Yes
is it possible?
 Bartender:
     - You can't.
     We:
     - But why?   We paid
(we hand over the money, the bartender counts it)
for ten shots, and now we want them
We were served to taste...
     Bartender:
     - Okay, you can.
     We (more precisely, I, having decided to get smart):
     - And to make it easier, you need to take
bottle and just pour it in half into two
glasses, 500 in half - that will be five
shot...
     Bartender:
     - You can't.
     We (oh fool...):
     - That's it, forget about it. Pour ten
shots, pour it over, do whatever you want,
Bring it in two glasses. Understood?
     Bartender:
 - Guys, where are you from?
     We (well %# your mother!!):
     - From Russia, we are Russians, bring vodka!!
     The bartender leaves and returns through
a couple of minutes, carrying two liter (!)
glasses, to the top (!!!)filled with vodka.
Upon closer inspection it turns out
that there is not only vodka:
     We:
     - What is this?
     Bartender:
     - Vodka.
     We:
     - I see, but what besides vodka?
     Bartender:
     - Ice.
     We (uuu, bitch!!):
     - Bring the spoon!
     Bartender:
     - Why?
     We (in unison):
 - GET THE ICE!!!
     In short, he brought a spoon, we
got the ice, or rather, that part of it,
which did not have time to melt, with disgust
drank bottled vodka, then bought it at
store a liter of Absolute and calmly drank it
him at Dima's house. The next day we went to
the same establishment at lunchtime, just
have a snack.  Yesterday's bartender saw us
on the threshold, muted the music and joyfully
announced:
     - But those same two Russians came,
who drank the bottle yesterday with spoons
vodka!
     Those present applauded.

       Story told by alex (hokum@goplay.com)