ZX Club #07 28 февраля 1998

Самиздат

Enjoy - Short Story "Learn to shoot."

(C) Andrew Smiryagin


            LEARN TO SHOOT!

                 story

Going operation. Hear the voice of the tragic
patient:
- Doctor, I do not seem to sleep.
- Yes, that can not be!
Dr. enthusiasm continues to operate.
- Doctor, honestly, I do not sleep.
- Oh, come on you!
The doctor makes an incision.
- Ah-ah-ah! It hurts!
- Look you, and the truth is not asleep.
- I told you so.
- Well, say something myself in a rag ... with chloroform. By 
the way, give him more. - Kaif! .. Doctor, and even possible?.

- Can.
- Kaif! .. What else? ..
- Can. Give him a mallet on the forehead ...
Boom!
- Wild kicks! .. And Mallet possible? ..
- Enough with you, and you quickly get used.
- Doctor, how is it? Is it dangerous?
- The patient, you give me interfering.
- I can and leave.
- No, stay. Nothing dangerous there.
The bullet passed right through without hitting a vital
important points. By the way, that the cretin in
you shoot?
- Why a nerd?
- So perhaps there so shoot! Slightly higher than necessary
take, and to the left, left ...
- It's very simple, doctor. I lie too late
evening with a woman in bed, none but the woman, do not touch, 
and suddenly, bang! BAH! husband came.

- Ah! Hence, the husband shot?
- What is out there! Listen to this. Hence, the fly
I'm from the balcony, not bothering anyone, and suddenly,
Bang! BAH! fall to the pet dog
a policeman.
- Yeah, so, the district fired.
- Of course, he shot, but never get
missed. Hence, I run myself naked to the
street, run, not bothering anyone. And suddenly,
Bang! BAH! I heard someone behind is catching up.
It turned out, maniac on the sexual
soil.
- Did he shoot?
- No, this is just me tenderly suffocated.
Well, next to the rockers on motorcycles were driving fun. We, 
the maniac three quarters of them ran away. - So those that 
know, fired? - Really! The same children, rascals. True,

poor maniac's death still crushed.
- Well, you-when he finally shot?
- Do you listen to. Hence, I'm anticipating from
sin, in a commercial shop, trying to pull the first got his 
pants and suddenly, Bang! BAH! jumps the guard ...

- Shot?
- No, I shot back. Because there is a
I rushed into the store racketeers.
- Racketeers, then fired?
- Why did they shoot, they put us on
stomach and operated soldering iron. Well,
guard before his death had to admit that
I have nothing to do with it. I was and released. Left and 
right to meet a beautiful girl inturistovskoy out of the hotel. 
And I as luck would have not had time to get dressed. She takes

pistol from her purse, and bang! BAH!
- I?
- Hit, and not once, but the gun from her
a gas or nerve agents.
- So, who is in you, dammit, then
hole was made?
- So, I come home in the morning to his wife,
naked with a blue mug from beatings, and even under
gas. Anyone not going to touch it, and here,
Bang! BAH! pop up test with the shotgun.
- I?
- Yes ...
- Well, finally!
- Gene pyzhom ass.
- Listen to the patient, I'm in your place then would have gone 
and shot himself. - So what do you think I'm lying here with 
you? _______________________________________End