Deja Vu #06 30 сентября 1998

Seven and 1 / 2 - Features a national ruleza 2 or ordered motion of electrons.

SoundTrack:-MUSIC BY NIK-O <MOMENT SHAKE> 
__________________________________________ 


(C) PLAYGEAR COMPANY / BD
Author: Alexander Bazhenov / Ze Pagan
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                  Prologue


   Hello, dear readers! As you
have already noticed, in our magazine, singing
           wound (or rather to say -
@ 3 add) a new section "Oso three singularities national ruleza.

  3 This is a kind of alternative ¤ 3 Tiwa "Virtual'no 
Amig'nomu blue <3 drome", which I have probably {3 zadolbal the 
whole country:). But no matter how 

  3 It may be, the reader is integral ∙ 3 It is interesting and 
I will continue in the March 8 is duhe.Zdes should be noted

w 3 that I am the most outspoken opponent of ne
  3 repechatki foreign art
¯ 3 pieces, and not just me.
April 3 Unfortunately, these suffer mnos 3 Gia electronic 
publishing: (. Soz            given times (and most likely

sic) the feeling that this is done only
to fill the free space on the
disk! No matter what and no matter how. Granted, many of the 
books deserve to be to print them and let these 
perepechatyvali.No involved in our printing. Well, Judge

themselves, who are interested (and in general, as can be) will 
read any novel or story for several years! After

no secret that el.izdaniya not all periodic. Very often the 
number is issued once a half-year, and even a year! And that, I 
must sit and wait until you get the next chapter? Some 
observant readers DEJA VU may have noticed that since the first

rooms and the fourth, inclusive, I was typing my story, "The 
war goes on ...". Even more attentive readers could see that 
the promised end of the story in fifth issue was not! Case that

I'm a little poraskinuv brains, come to a conclusion as 
aforesaid, as realized that this epic hardly anyone needs. Much 
nicer and more appropriate to place the product entirely, in 
final form. So I decided interrupt the story, but not the only 
reason! In my brain fluid leaked a little thought

(This happens from time to time), are
which boils down to this ...


            ATTENTION, COMPETITION!

            ==================



   I suggest to you, dear readers, writers, stir gyrus (this, 
incidentally, is sometimes useful) and finish the end of the 
story "The war continues ..."! Texts adopted in the format 
42-64 characters per line, written in any text editor 
(preferably IS-DOS; ZX-WORD; MED). It is possible, Of course on 
paper, but to tell the truth I disassemble a bummer strange 
handwriting! The winner of this contest will be printed (not 
important on which platform he sits) and receive a prize. Of 
course, PENtium II does not promise but to provide a regular 
receipt of the next issue DEJA VU, I can guarantee! Besides, 
it's a great opportunity to work his head and prove himself in 
literary terms. Generally, go for it, my other, Yes, and you 
will be rewarded! It only remains to add that the story was 
written by the well-known game "NARCOPOLICE". And now, as 
mentioned, Maupassant, closer to the body ... 


                  *


   I assumed that the organizer can not
easy, but to combine with the duties of an electrician and 
still ..! No really, thank you! Since childhood, with a very 
early, I did not like physics, and everything connected with 
it! Not to say that I was a complete ignorant in electrical 
matters, but always tried to stay away from the two insidious 
wires, enticing protruding from the wall. I'm more pinned all 
there insects: crickets, because they have such big feet and 
you can easily tear, and then they (grasshoppers), obeying the 
instincts, trying to jump, but a damn they fail; ladybugs, 
because the ultimate dream mine was to learn - and where are 
they there for sky kids, butterflies, because they are very

really look beautiful, pinned needles, spiders, because I could 
not enter, where they have placed so many feet web; well, and 
other miscellaneous bugs and bikarasy. 

   Frankly, I grew curious about a boy and, possibly, I would 
have made a good biologist. When adults aunts and uncles, 
including my ancestors, they asked me: " Who do you want to be 
when you grow up? ". I coyly replied, with downcast eyes: 
"Tiger". Do not ask me why - I do not know, but it is a fact. 
By the way, according to my drozhayschaya half, I do quite 
successful. Well, not argue, she knows better. But all

is nice, coming true when at least one
dream of a faraway childhood ..! With years
I grew up, even a very (well, straight, as in the song!).
Only in addition to a female, I began to look in the glass, 
within reason, of course! One fine day, 2 / 3 of my unit of 
society, left me in a sense, went to rest in the village. 
Taking advantage of this happy occasion, I spent the whole day 
Kungo drenched and drowned, "Baltic Sea" to the ringing swords 
and hoofs. In the evening, well heated battle and a beer, I 
decided to declare ceasefire and to visit their ancestors,

in order not to be considered an ungrateful son. Capturing in a 
stall half-liter "compress the code and check the device I / O 
leak, I set off. At home we sat a bit and depaknuli with

Batya couple of "files". Cool trudged
from my "object code", he utterly sentimental and gave me 
proschanetse hitromudry svetilnichek that I have

was set up on the wall of his hall. On
one for the road we "proassemblirovali" one more "I've found," 
and very pleased with the effect emerged, finally parted. Brief 
the way home I did without incident, they started at home! 
Rightly believing that man in the house I'm alone (not taking 
into account their infant specialist MORTAL KOMBAT'u), I am 
very proud and decided to immediately set to work. But

Before proceeding to dangerous electromechanical works, I 
bought on the way a couple of Baltika 9.


   Expanding all the necessary work tools and beating around 
the ill-fated light, I took a sip of beer and told myself that 
a trifling matter! Perched on a chair and there trying to keep 
a balance (after copious libations me something began to jiggle 
slightly), I took aim with a screwdriver in Screw ... 
Trehkolornaya my cat (her, incidentally, is called Muska (this 
is for those who have not yet knows)) sat down next to the 
stool and carefully watched over all my movements. I should 
note that it differs amazing cat wit, that more than once put 
me to a standstill and plunged into amazement. "It's very 
simple! - I said smugly to her .- "just something

and business: loosen, and connect back
twist. Watch and learn! "What Muska
answered doubtful purring.

   In the screw I was only the fifth time,
pre istykav next new wallpaper.
On this occasion I did not feel strongly
was remembering that I still have the same. "It looks like I 
lost tselkost. - Thought to myself, I went to drink pivo.Vo 
second screw, I got much faster, with fourth time. "You see!" - 
Triumphantly, I noticed a cat .- "Do you doubt!" After removing 
the cover, I, as one would expect, I saw those two treacherous 
wire protruding from the panel. Scratched his head screwdriver 
and a sigh, I spoke somberly: "There's something I have lost 
all desire to upgrade. And do not go Do hryapnut decyl, eh? How 
do you think?, I turned to the cat. Muska apparently considered 
my desire to completely absurd and contemptuous yawn in my 
face. "Come, come!" - I said, gently slazit the chair. - "It is 
highly improper of you parties leave me in this tense

situeyshen!. "In the kitchen I opened a second
bottle and lounging, sipping a cool beer. The cat climbed on my 
lap with clear intention to take a nap a bit. Pacifying the 
situation was conducive to conversation. And, lighting a 
cigarette, I launched into a rant. But as the interlocutor, but 
the cat was not there, I started to download it. - Here you 
are, cats, absolutely stupid animals, and, except get underfoot 
and sleep anywhere, no more know how!

Do not even know why I'll keep for a whole
year? Which of you use? Zhresh you for two ...
Then I looked at her stomach and recovered.
-... even for three. I'm on your "Whiskas"
spend more than you! And this, to your
note, very wrong! Okay,
if you were a dog! By the way, you know
Cho is this? Although from where you are their only
a TV set and saw something! Dog, Moussya very
polzitelnaya thing! Dog, you know ...
man's best friend! It is their bread did not eat nothing.
This I tell you quite authoritatively declare. You
sekesh where I'm going?
Muska opened one eye and wiggled
ears.
- That's right, shakes on the condition! Incidentally, you
very lucky in your cat's LIFE. If
not for your ruleznaya trehkolornost sat
Would you now not in the apartment with improved planning in ZE 
PAGAN'a on his knees, and in the trash can of reduced comfort, 
surrounded by your silly fellow! Yes, what to say, lucky you, 
but you do not appreciate. You lie here, and probably all

my cat's crap about me think! No
support from you no, no understanding, one
Only hair in the corners! By the way, I could not
vrublyus, why have you decided that the wallpaper paste to you 
about them later winepress their claws? A painted doorways, 
seems to you to him was more convenient to wear? You're not in 
the woods, in the end! A soft furniture I bought, probably, to 
you there nezhila its striped ass? You are my atavism

forget it, and then I'll head off tear off and say,
so that was!
Then my eyes fell upon the scattered tools and I thought it was 
time to do and deed.

- Okay, stamped. Lipezdrichestvom deal with that once and for 
all! 

   Perched on a chair, I again carefully examined the field of 
activity. Delov there are very few: to connect the wiring from 
the new fixture to the highway. But too painful, and they both 
were too short! This inspired understandable concerns. However, 
do There was nothing, and, sigh, I picked up

pliers ...

   Tilting phase and zero away from each
other, I began to gently twist the first pair. As it turned 
out, it is not so Easy! The fact that the wires are alluminum, 
and, unusual thickness, and moreover, very fragile! Finally, I 
coped with this problem and turned to the cat, who curiously 
looked at me and said: "No problem! Important not to close the 
wire, and then get ...". 

   I could not finish. Having lost vigilance and distracted for 
a moment, I touched two wires together with pliers.

The effect was simply stunning. Bright lightning cut through 
the air and has hit me in the eye. I stepped back and let go

tool. My convulsive movement disrupted the already precarious 
balance, and I in 0.5 seconds, was sitting on my ass,

stupidly looking straight ahead. Later
0.5 seconds on my knee fell pliers ... Howl of pain, I spent 
some time hop around the room and selective

matyukalsya. The cat looked at the stunned
me, she was such a word never in my life
heard. Reassured, I put a cold compress to the leg and evil, he 
muttered: "Well We'll see who wins!. "climbing on

stool, I went to a more responsible
case, and just barely finished it. Carefully, making a couple 
of holes in the wallpaper, I fixed the lamp and theatrically 
said: "Let there be light." Light was not ... Flip through a 
few more times to no avail switch, I thoroughly pondered. Case 
took a nasty turn. And in my head obsessive spun idiotic 
phrase: "Light should be, he can not be! ". The first

rational thought was that as a result of short circuit knocked 
out the machine, but it not confirmed, because elsewhere in the 
light was available. It was necessary to seek the cause in

unfortunate postings. I sighed and again
climbed to unscrew the lamp. Then I remembered that I have a 
screwdriver indicator. Very convenient and indispensable thing 
in the household, I tell you. Find her, I poked into one wire, 
and then in another. Phase there was not one of them. One 
minute after careful inspection, I realized that

one of the wires broken in the middle. Must
has now been trimmed and shortened without
of short wires. But under stress
to do this can not be too risky! "We need to cut down machine." 
- Thought I went into the stairwell, where the electrical 
control. Opening it, I saw most of these machines about ten. 
Understand which of them mine, I did not have no desire and no 
time. Translating about five to OFF, I saw that

light in my apartment safely extinguished.
I am armed with a knife and began to skive
contacts.

   As it turned out, I cut down not only their
machines, but partly, too, neighbor. AND
all would be nothing but a neighbor at that time was looking 
for something helluva lot of fun on TV. Could have to wait a 
few minutes, the goat! Deciding that it's fun spotty generation 
without much thought, he went and moved all Automatic switch to 
ON. At this point I located on the same chair and in vain

tried with both hands a little stretch
wires from the panel, they have become painfully short after 
circumcision. Still, I remember, I instructed Musku that's how 
to do as I am now, nor in any case impossible. Because it can 
always find the idiot, for example, your neighbor, which surely 
include those same machines! 

   The strongest shock flashed me that
states through the end of sentences! Should
note that the 220 - a very foul Voltage! It seems to attracts 
and This property may have the most dire consequences for you. 
I also did not Except ... I was shaking, it seemed to me a very 
long time, but I could not let go fingers. Finally I did it, 
and yelled good mate, I fell off the chair. Muska,

curiously watching my dancing on the stool, do not wait too 
long fade from the danger zone, and 74 kilograms Shrieking

flesh plyuhnuvscheysya with half-meter height,
specifically pinched her tail. Now it's time to sing her songs, 
which she did, it hurts bite my leg after the first verse. Then 
knock on the door and threshold appears that some have called a 
neighbor. I'm still sitting on the floor with bulging eyes and 
a damn did not realize besides me a little shake.

- Hi Sanya! That went by, I hear
you got some kind of noise, give, I think, look, you never know 
what! And you, I watch repair started? Commendable, well done! 
And here I am in no way not find the time, all the cases, you 
know, work! You telly hour not looking at? There's football 
show an interesting match! And then some I cut down light 
jerks, just fear lost!

My hand automatically, and tried unsuccessfully to
find any type of auction item.
- Okay, I will not bother you. I will go to inspect. By the 
way, great svetilnichek! 

   And he closed the door ... And I have sat and sadly thinking 
about the futility and the wretchedness of our existence ...