Deja Vu #06 30 сентября 1998

Юмор

Seven and 1 / 2 - What if your computer does not work (Instructions for Hacker).

 What to do if your computer does not work.

         Instructions for Hacker.


You will need:
a) crowbar
b) Hammer
c) The Slasher
d) Peel
e) nails
f) Sharp or chain


         NOTICE: IQ is not less than 5!



   First of all remove the body if it does not
removed, then take a crowbar and its Insert your
in the gap between the body and, in fact, a computer. After 
that jump to scrap the stool (if you have TOWER, then with a 
stepladder). After removing the body, make sure that this is 
indeed the computer and it belongs to you (if not you, the 
better! =>! but then you need things from the point "F"). Then 
find PSU (to find out whether he is pour boiling water on him, 
must appear sparks) and see whether all the wiring is well 
fixed (maybe you carelessly opening the case and this damaged 
their cause on which it did not work!) if everything is in

order, look at the monitor. Typically, the holes in the screen 
should not be. If they Still there is, then do not worry - 
close up their tape or duct tape (this is called white 
assembly). But if the monitor place and in good order, then the 
point something else. Make sure your computer

plugged in (to find out outlet works or operates, sunte in her 2
(Two) fingers, and if you have an overwhelming desire to wave 
their hands and feet => It works!). Look at what the situation 
is a button on a computer ON-OFF, it should be in a position 
when which your computer is working! Maybe

you dirty HARD DRIVE, - anything that
it's called HARD, to open it to you
need only a bottle opener for bottles of beer!
Gently wipe the surface with emery
paper! Then put the cover back
(If you have already thrown out - never mind - DRIVE wrap in 
foil) and carefully pritopchite. Poshar'te in the drive - maybe 
there is there anything harmful to the computer that

be thorough clean drive in zasun'te
him a screwdriver and knock on it for several
times with a hammer (impact force not less than 16 kg.)
Pull out the motherboard (which is also a mother) to find her 
processor (if it says 286 or XT, you can throw it), then put 
the board on a flat surface and step on the CPU (processor 
thing is thin, Petrushka, so it must be done carefully!), and 
then add up all the parts back, wrap computer in a blanket and 
arrange his "dark" hammer or a spade. Having done all of the 
above described, put on a computer casing and carefully nail 
(the real professionals prefer 2 weave, but you can start 
small.) And if after that computer will not work - it just

bastard!

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