Spending - Stirlitz.

Music by Andrew Fer.

Continued ...

 - Lord! Calm down! - Cried systems
schik on stage. We are all advocates of viruses
Great Reich, and administrators and programmers
you. Stirlitz vytavschivshy pocket disco
water, unable to settle down and poured out their anger
the waiter:

  - Why is yogurt with flies?

  - But you did not even tried, Mr. Standartenfiihrer!

  - Shut up! - And Stirlitz vmazal waiter
drive. He did not like include the drive
tak.Ofitsiant just flew across the table
old programmer and fell on his knees
Ladies. The lady screamed, as hard drive, which the owner has 
decided to calibrate. Programmer jumped again.


  - It is you, the user rat me
battle programmer ... And in a fury seized
waiter and also vmazal.Ofitsiant rode th
Lovoy stomach SS. He doubled over and yelled:

  - Our beat! His comrades rushed to
programmer, systems analyst defended
and began a regular format. As
always Stirlitz was innocent. He hid
the drive took a printer with an inscription "Standartenfiihrer 
CC von Stirlitz from beloved Fuhrer. "screamed" our beat, Styria

people began to wave the printer on lyustram.Devoch
ki variety of shrieking fled. Systems
schika dragged off the stage and began to trample but
gami. His scream was even more heartbreaking than the 
programmer's ladies. Until death of a frightened band struck 
suddenly in Herous Quest.Programmist waving his sword and 
shouted: 

  - It is you, custom rat me
battle programmer ...

  When Shtirlitsa broken printer, nor one
on the chandelier is not svetila.Shtirlits shouted:

  - Come all pressed Escape! - And he
separate the disputants. Heard the sound of partition
to monitor and strangled cry, as if someone hit on the head 
with the system unit. 

  - Lozinski has arrived! - Rang krik.Pri
Lozinski started riding with that produced by AIDSTEST'u over 
the heads of the fighters. Mob gradually calmed down. Those who 
are not comforted, soothed. Lit the light. Then he went 
Lozinski. 

  - Quiet! All remain in their months
Tah! And all taken away. They took the corpses. Among
and the agent was killed accidentally 008.Emu
hit on the head with the system unit from IBM
WorkStations.Tak finished his career values
menity SysOp. All those arrested were loaded
on machinery and razvezli on various BBS Police
Stirlitz and combat programmer fall into one
machine. He would not give up: - It is you, custom rat me 
fighting a programmer ... 

  - Give it to CPU, - said indifferently
Stirlitz. Lozinski is ready to fulfill the request. Programmer 
silent amazement. Soon they podehali to BBS Police.Shtir 
persons imprisoned for BC - shku. Sounds a bit like from corner 
to corner, he began to knock on the wall The inscription "Here 
was SHTIRLITS, but it will suspend Do.


  - Arrested Stirlitz output. Over a hundred
Scrap sat bloated Lozinski and drank paste.

  - Name?

  - Stirlitz.

  - Maybe you Stirlitz, and may not
Stirlitz. Who knows you? Can you - Russian SysOp? Stirlitz came 
closer and sat down. 

  - Listen, Lozinski, does not arise, I
Critical Zone terrible. He was not expecting that
Who insolence, opened his rot.A Stirlitz mocking tone continued:

  - I like you now tonerku ensure then
call my friend Mueller, otherwise I
and the front panel of your pig stuff ...
Stirlitz More izgolyalsya would take too long, the police, he
did not liked since childhood, but suddenly the sound of 
Lozinski Zero fist on the table, so that bounced

a cup of melted rubber, and yelled

  - Shut up!

  - Do not yell - asked Stirlitz.

  - Stand up when you talk to an officer! Stirlitz was calm as 
Turbo Prolog. 

  - I Standartenfiihrer CC von Stirlitz - by
syllable he uttered - not like when
my presence, yelling all sorts of scoundrels. I
require toner and Mueller, or announcing
vtrusovanie a period of 200 ticks. Is
your processor is not bad in a state
interrupted, Thu to have my pobibiesit
beloved childhood friend Mueller and I finally will no longer 
have the pleasure to see your vile monitor? Wrapping a 
brilliant phrase Stirlitz himself poradovasya and smiled 
proudly. Lozinski turned green with anger. - Shut up! Stirlitz 
Lozinski just stopped like he was going to give a brazen cop in 
his teeth and gave. The guards rushed to Stirlitz but too late. 
Lozinski hit a hanging on the wall a portrait of Philippe Kahn 
in full growth, the picture fell. Stirlitz throwing guards, 
shouted angrily: - Insulting a great friend Jeanne! Yes, now I 
did not leave here, do not clean your Pointing the muzzle! With 
great difficulty raging Shtirlitsa dwell back into the camera. 
Stirlitz long rowdy, beat his heels at the door swore in an 
unknown language, and then calmed down and began to sing: - 
Zatikan cruiserweight IRET'e ... Waking Lozinski nervously 
scratched his head, where the impact of the portrait Canna huge 
swollen lump. "Damn portrait, now a month will hurt, not

portrait, and a continuous misunderstanding. "He walked around 
the office. - What if something happened ... Mueller does not 
like to joke ... What to say about this Kaltenbrunner? Can all 
the same call ... just in case ... And he called Mueller. 
Gestapo chief said "Well, well" and made a Hang-Up. Lozinski, 
yellowed from fear, not knowing where to go. He walked from 
corner to corner, occasionally glancing at the portrait of the 
ill-fated and Canna rubbing the bump on his head. Half an hour 
later come full and good-natured Mueller. - What Stirlitz? A 
friend of my childhood ... So what do you have it just did not 
let? - What you Gruppenfuhrer! What if he - Russian

SysOp? Muller smiled mysteriously. They
descended into the basement to Stirlitz. Lozinski
abruptly knocked on the locked door behind which Stirlitz 
bawled another song. Stirlitz answered shortly, in three words.

Lozinski long and humbly begged Shtirlitsa
to excuse him, stupid th setter
AIDSTEST'a and a half hour later it Stirlitz
forgiven. He came out of the camera and not paying
attention to the kneeling virologist, greeted warmly by Muller. 
Old friends embraced and remembered my childhood. Stirlitz 
complained that he was here on izhali and poorly fed. Lozinski 
shame wanted to sink skovoz ground. Muller and Stirlitz out.


    - Stirlitz, how do you get in this ugorazdilo gadyushnik?

    - It happened. Was in the EC on the one ...
Well, you do not know ... Suddenly format ...
Did well, when a lady format?
Climbed separate. Never, my friend, do not
separate the fighters. Ungrateful swine!

    Shtirlitsa voice rang out from a fake
indignation.

    "Stirlitz - smiled Muller - so many
years living in Germany, but has not yet been
learned how to properly write in Pascal le. AND
where he got that terrible beat Seacove accent? No, not yet 
Stirlitz sober, just disgusted with him to talk. That's when 
the drinks, yes, it burns like a native paskalist. Perhaps, we 
should drink. " 

    - By the way, Stirlitz ... They looked at each other.

    - What a question! Childhood friends understand each other 
with polutika. Mueller took the Shtirlitsa arm, and they went in

nearest CC.

CHAPTER A 4


  In Hitler's bunker was the third hour lasted
meeting. Sitting in front of a large monitor
whether the senior officers of the Reich. Under the portrait of 
the great Fuehrer himself sat the great Fuhrer, crude stny and 
thoughtful. At him, nobody paid attention. Discussed two 
questions: why is burned at the Kursk Exchange, and how would 
volunteered to Stirlitz birthday. - Few brokers - Snuffles 
Himmler. "And in headquarters of a lot of idiots "- thought 
all-knowing Muller.


  - Small Computer ... General von Shvartskopfman rose, 
coughed, blew his nose in green handkerchief, and croaked: - 
Lord! Kursk stock, we are not burned because of the fact that 
there were few brokers and to the mainframe, which we have, 
thank God enough, but because of the arrogance Russian sysops. 
Co. Mande German brokers at Kursk

Exchange General Field Marshal von Kluge, they
under lozhili, I apologize for sitting "Microsha "!... All lit 
up. - Yes, Sir! Russian "Microsha! Consequently, the commander 
fell off his chair and was injured. AND without the wise 
leadership of the German brokers - General wiped away a tear, - 
did not know what sell.


Borman grinned nastily. This he ordered Von Kluge put it, 
"Microsha. Joke failed. - So, - said Gitler.Votsarilas

silence. "Why am I not a programmer?" - Fuhrer thought 
bitterly. After a few seconds smart Gebelsu accidentally came 
up with thought.


  - We must destroy the sysops, and we captured
Russia.

  - Is not it easier to destroy "Microsha? - Limit
dlozhil Himmler.

  - So, - said Hitler. All were silent again. "Well, why am I 
not a programmer?" - suffered great Fuehrer.


  - We must take all "Microsha from Russia, thoughtfully 
Goering said. 

  - And then, Russia had violated the technical
balance - caught Himmler, and SysOp'y
go mad.

  - Brilliant! - Admired toady Schellenberg.

  - And then we'll show another Russian
Kursk Exchange and another Scotts Valley.

  - Brilliant! - Oral Schellenberg.

  - So. Hitler got up, walked around the table, stood up
Bormann behind and slapped him on the sweaty
bald head. "Lord, Why did not I program
Mist? Why did not he, not Goebbels, namely
Am I? "And the Fuehrer went to Norton. all the wires
his sympathetic views. Door for Git
lerom closed. Conversation resumed.

  - Offer code word operation
"Dubels" - suggested Goebbels.

  - I'm for - said Mueller, who was
anyway.

  - Schellenberg - asked Himmler - reach for. Schellenberg took 
from his pocket will tylku Armenian toner and pour into glasses

Enough for all, and what was left, Schellenberg poured into his 
mouth. 

  - I propose a toast to the operation "Dubels"
The door creaked opened and the room
burst Stirlitz. All at once oseli.Shtirlits
I heard only a few last words.
"Hide", he thought, and decided to form
he just went. Stirlitz approached
safe, took out the master key and a deathly silence
opened it. He dug for about five minutes, but Nitsche
On new is found. "Bums" - thought Stirlitz and noisily slammed 
the door. 

  - Comrade Stirlitz - there was a cautious voice of Goering, 
who recently lost the first cluster of the report to the Fuhrer 
and the second was infected with SVC-4644, when the take of 
files from the safe, come back and does not infect, please.


  - I need your files - Stirlitz offended - I have your 
missing. He approached table, taken from Joseph Goebbels shot 
of toner and about proclaimed:


  - For my beloved Fuhrer! With unhappy
Mi individuals all had a drink. Dispossessed Goebbels
posopel hurt, took a bottle of cleaning
liquid and sipped straight from the bottle.

  - Heil! - And Stirlitz vyshel.Ot schnapps Geb
belsa winced and he thought: "Yaka garni vodichka!

  - Where were we? - He asked,
wiping his mouth with sleeve of his uniform.

  - The operation Dubels "- said
Schellenberg. Suddenly the door again
opened slightly and she was pushed
contented face Shtirlitsa. - Yes,
Gentlemen, when I Setup, forgot
register. - Hello
hello - said a polite Mueller.
Stirlitz once again closed the door and left.
Eavesdrop at the door he saw below
their dignity. Himmler stood up, walked
table and looked out the door. Making sure that
Stirlitz left, he looked at his teammates
and, narrowing his eyes, asked:

  - By the way, gentlemen, on Stirlitz: how popas
Tolerance to him for his birthday?

  - Offered for free - said Goebbels

  - At the same time buying a gift is not necessary. Gim
mler taken from a crystal vase large red disk, with a crunching 
bite half, and chewing, said:


  - I have in stock, a stray little
decommissioned SX man ten or twelve.
Let's go for it, but later gave Stirlitz.
Still throw. All were pulled over
diskettes.

  - How back? - Goering argued.

  - We drive you back. They are still a little village
pletnichali. Borman and boasted of a new laboratory
ntkoy, the conversation turned to women perekinu
lsya the French pornography, and then at
each found their own affairs.

To be continued ...