User'am - Course polodogo user.

(C) 1998 by Evgrafov Glory

Music by Andrew Fer


           COURSE YOUNG user.


     First, there was nothing, then God

     created the Earth. Were later dinosaurs,

     but they broke some, because they

     not shine. People came and realized

     that without the modem does not revel in the time and

     bought a modem, zakonnektilis

     and then came the universal telemarket.


   (World History. Rustam Bekzenteev).

              User - (English users).



     I am glad to greet you, O auspicious
owner of the modem! You still do not rang
my neighbor / friend / mother-in and did not accept them
paragraph in the middle of the night? No? So I had time to
why not consider a work to listen to a couple
councils of the old user. Arrange more conveniently,
Pour yourself something good lit a cigarette and tell everyone 
that you're busy as a telephone reference. I will not 
utruzhdyat themselves and afflict thee unnecessary technical

detail, especially the structure, mathematical principles, and 
other things that makes my head hurt, and the flowers wither

loud howl beloved dog. Well, do it!


 Little by little that they called a modem.


     Yes, I always thought that the name
"Modem" for this kind of thing does not fit - say the modem 
still did not say anything this unit, which is sometimes like a 
drug, almost always - naughty girlfriend occasionally obedient 
and beloved instrument. If you've had time to look at what they

call records to the modem, then almost
certainly realized that this thing is a clever,
clever, quirky and stubborn. As a rule, those who call 
themselves producers modems claim that their modems modem over 
a modem and you should only connect to your computer as you 
come upon the grace of God and he will work as expected. Do not 
believe me, they themselves not fully aware of that are made! 
With rare exceptions, the modem is configured as a horrible and 
works as necessary. But since other, more

rosy prospects not, then all the people who
just bought the modem did not immediately advise
configure and turn it on and work as a
succeed. Together with the modem they have
sell diskettes on which to write down
that someone calls a terminal program or dialer. This usually 
works program on the same principles that

unconfigured modem, and about an unhappy, you
will have to tinker with it and adjust it
as the God of Adam. I have good news
- We have this, I may say so, the files of
soon send back where no one has yet
returned.


     Now you have me ... Uzho I do!


     ... you say, the young user driven
to the critical state of the titanic
effort to run your modem in the case. Yes,
you had a hard time, I understand, I bow
head and deep sympathy. Confess
your first instinct was to call
close or not close, and break them kicks
or share your own. Leave it blank.
Let them amuse their small joys - you also have something that 
they do not have - modem, besides you almost UZER, and this

sounds good. Remember one simple rule
- Do not do to others what you DO NOT WANT
Them do to you. Follow this rule and
everything will be okay.


    These nick live better than the sysops.


     Modems alone do not last long,
therefore he needs another such. Where
I get it? Well, of course - BBS! As you already
you know? What is it? Bulletin Board System -
The bulletin board? I thought so, no one bothered to tell you
really what it is. In the best case, you
will say that this computer is burdened with a modem, connected 
the phone and working yourself automatically and no bread 
begging. It's all right, but the main missed. BBS or bibieska - 
is primarily just live, or rather half-alive chelovekzombi who 
spared no efforts and resources on ensure that voluntary and 
often free and the cost of their health to help people like 
you. Call such a person sysop (SysOp), which means the system 
operator. You you can try to determine a sysop

crowd - pale, unshaven and sleepy
subject with burning eyes and concentrated expression. 
Sometimes they utter sovereshenno mystical words like "skvish"

or "temyl, and sometimes try to push two
times the Escape key to any
door that makes ordinary citizens and
citizenesses twirl your finger around his temple, and
Grandmothers often-often baptized.


   Maximus, Remote Acess, and all all all.


     One sisopskoy will, quenching and
computer for the station would not
enough. In order for this to work
and BBS revitalized program is required to come on a BBS man 
had to work easy and pleasant, but to keep it relaxed and who 
is remembered. They know how much more a simple terminal 
program, but far from it are gone and and strive to either hang 
or work as she wants. We in the country raspostraneny such as 
Maximus (In common parlance - max), Remote Access,

SuperBBS.

     All of these programs during the first call
ask you to register
certainly arrange long and cross
questioning, ask you about who you are and what you
and with what you have. Highly recommend to register - more 
time to work and generally give it a thrill for all. Here

need to remember a few moments. First:
Now is your name - not even trying to write something like 
Mickey Mouse or Smashheaded Joe, sysops this is not fun

understand and do terrible eyes when
see these pieces of music. And they need to understand - ezhli 
you once asked about such a small like real name, you can split,

the more so because he did not sysop Muller, and ACS is not
spy agencies. If you strongly want to
to your name or Jack_the_Ripper Kisulka-asimferoze, when asked 
"Alias : "Boldly write an alias. Second: when you register ask 
your home address - that then the singular sincerity is not 
required and if You do not want to write the address (to give 
attendance, open rate, etc.) do not write. And if you

already managed to write - do not worry. As
Typically, this information is only available sysop. Oh! I 
almost forgot! When asked telephone number at which you call or

which you can catch and fuck
honor to communicate with you, I implore you, write
real! You should have seen sysop, when he was in
a dream to call his nick gets well
very bad answer, and often the direction of motion! Oh, it's a 
terrible picture that children under sixteen, I would, even 
under threat of execution would not be revealed. Extremely

important to know the time and current rates
phone station. Ignorance of these
parameters usually gives rise to chilling
situation. Imagine, my dear friend,
the phone is changed to another station and
you call the old late-late
night, rising to his feet perfectly in any
innocent people and domesticated insects.
Sometimes it happens that the sysops organize
BBS at work, so if you do not call
whereas, the poor sysop next week should be hiding from the 
righteous wrath of the authorities, pretending to be the 
subject of furniture or other means. So

let's agree to call the station
only at work and on the right
number. Learn all you can from fresh
lists stations of your city or region.
I draw your attention to what is usually understood by the 
freshness of one (1) week. Also recall the words classic saying,

that besides the freshness is ONE (1)
it is also the last. You can ask, but
how many beeps you want the modem to the BBS
picked up the phone? Good question, I do exactly
I do not know. Usually it depends on many vnschey - on how to 
configure the modem, where is machine-to-station than it is 
currently engaged in (as e-mail machine is very rarely answers 
the call), time of day and the location of stars on screen. If 
you call during the day, thou canst to ring until the second 
coming of Christ or first - the police. So do when

sure that the machine is not in the apartment or
number of this BBS is guaranteed list of stations. The optimal 
number of rings - 5-7. Well, if you phone the station said in a 
whisper from a distance of hundred meters, or if this number is 
very similar number of neighbor especially not to strain - 3-4 
beeps. 


       Which dialer you been bitten?


     I promised to tell you what terminal program are best 
used. This subject is vast, but I already decided so - use the 
best, do everything you like and do not do what they dislike.

On the basis of this rule, you can figure out
one - better than the dialer TELEMATE I
I know. Do not consider it for advertising, but all
convenience of a multi-mode (simultaneous reading, editing,
any configuration option, actually
communication with the ACS-kami), user-friendly interface and
much more in one bottle, I have not seen
more than any one program. Therefore, as
just read through the course, immediately copied it and safely 
installed, and what they give you with a modem to send in a

place, wherever it you will never
come across.


     Oh, my box full of software!


     Though they (Maximus, Remote Access and
etc.) and believe that smart and kind, they are actually 
harmful and stupid. Judge for yourself - Time released as on 
cards during the national famine in Chad, and deceived more 
easily than Cheburashka. 

     There are some users who are we really
not users who are hoping to earn
extra coveted minutes with ACS
recorded under several names.
The plot is simple as an orange - do so
Then you call the same name, and other
so until otvalishsya whole in the light and
eaten. How? You have advised? Well
so listen, freshly-user! NEVER
SO DO NOT DO! This is also an extreme manifestation of
selfishness and disrespect for just another user and sysop and 
even more so! Imagine sitting another user riding on modems, 
catch the signals BUSY and bitterly weep because that they can 
not play your favorite Toys and get a welcome email.

Then these nick zvereyut and do all sorts of
shit anybody who can (write viruses,
format the wrong hard drives, kick the neighbors cats, etc.). 
On some BBS there is a system of rewards for injection her good 
programs, games, and, that is capable of good news to all and 
sundry. Most spread the word promotion - an increase

work time. Therefore, the cunning nick think zakachivaya on the 
BBS of rubbish in large quantities, you can achieve nirvana, and

complete separation. I assure you, dear user,
they are wrong. You probably already guessed
that there is still the rule of love
neighbor. It is hard to imagine a sysop
experiencing the heavenly pleasure of
razgrebaniya debris from the multi-megabyte
old, useless programs or
their ancient vnrsy existing at the time,
which is intended to create an environment
work for the good and exemplary users like you. Very ugly to 
leave the underloaded multivolume archives - this is equivalent 
to a situation where out of 10 floppy disks with your favorite 
game is missing only one (God My, how I hate these situations!).


     To chance (you do not do
this intentionally) does not send a file that
the station is already there, first of all look for
him. Do not worry, even if you're a little to reduce its 
operating time at the same time, such a policy will pay off 
handsomely in the future (in a good nick after a certain period 
sysops raise the level of access and poor - On the contrary).


     Typically, each ACS adheres to certain policies in respect 
of file upload. For example, if station interested in gathering 
information about breeding hedgehogs, the information for the 
sessions of spiritualism and the new trends in decorating 
bagels interested in the majority of its users

small. To please everyone, be sure to
take an interest policies of the station - it is contained or 
in a separate file or in the field of public service 
announcements. How to find the right file? Elementary, my dear 
friend! Firstly, the lists fileareas

There are no comments to the above programs, and view these 
lists can be directly online. Secondly, each station

publishes lists of files (or fayllisty). Decide yourself what 
suits you best - look for the files at a time when you can and 
want to download them, or in advance by downloading file-list, 
find the Elem mode see text.



       Who's That Knocking at My Door?


     When nick tired of their favorite
toys, wives, and just get tired when their
bursting with joy and pride, they both
a species occurs painful urge to communicate with their own 
kind. Once one of them first to understand that we need mail, 
since many long had flowed water kilobyte messages. If you ask

them that they post, then one would say that
Mail - a drug for another - our daily bread, the rest will just 
dreamy roll their eyes and deep, deep sigh.


     As a rule they are not sparing their computers create 
entire networks that enmesh the globe like a spider poor 
MuhuTsokotuhu. In these networks they establish their 
subordination and the organization and then to all the rest of 
the joys of computer mail added to the romance of children's 
play in the war. One of these networks - FIDO. In fact, many of 
them, but the best in Russia for the needs of a simple man just 
this. You were versed at least in terminology, explain

You value a few words from the lexicon
fidoshnikov. Point (point (English) - point)
- People send and receive mail
for themselves. Nod (node (English) - node) doing it for 
others. Boss fidoshniki called a node through which the point 
receive e-mail. Mail is divided into "netmylo and "Ehi". 
Netmeme (NetMail (English) - Network mail) are those messages 
(in everyday life simply messagi of messages), which are not 
for everyone, then there is a private mail. Ehokonferentsii (or 
just ekhi) region mail messages that contain messages for all

on specific topics ranging from deep drilling to field-test 
"vntok peach." It is appropriate to say that for you with all 
your problems better choosing from the variety of mail will

ekhi for Dummies (kettle (rus) - teapot),
that is, for inexperienced users, and points.
You just ask, and only from those who respond and help rebound 
just will not. 

    Very often, BBS has other
functions in addition to this topical - to be
You the encouragement and support. Therefore, the time in
On-line (from the English. ON-LINE - on the line)
ie when your modem is connected to the BBS - the most valuable 
thing on the station after the sysop. The machine may include 
overnight receive faxes, receive mail from other

nodes and points to play with sysop checkers
and even the devil knows what to do (the most typical of her 
condition). But all it is the evil one, because if the line is 
busy - this paragraph. Many sites and most of

Points do not work around the clock. They
only support ZMH (born Zone Mail
Hour - hour postal zone) - one hour
Day when all the systems share
Only mail and nothing else. Remember himself
and transferred to another - this time to call
BBS No way! Still get it failed instead
Cell saver BBS - with different variations of one thing - 
PALOZH UP. And rightly so. Some of the major nodes (their 
called for this hub from the English. hub - center) is at this 
time to call each other long distance, and even over the hill. 
Vobschem ZMH better not to call, and sleep - the more that it 
is early morning (2:30-3:30 UTC, that Moscow time (four summers 
and three winters) still 6:30-7:30 for longitude Petersburg.

Restless sleep in ZMH only sysops - they
dreams of early morning and the mail that they
love more users and women.


               To be continued .....