Welcome Press #01 31 декабря 1995

Humor - the fate of the resident, or a spider's web over the country.

    The fate of the resident or the Web over the country.



    After Aidstest recognize and
destroyed the K-817, in the medium MS-DOS came
lull. Nick enjoyed life, playing on
Pentium'e in DOOM'a, UFO and Digger'a, sometimes something
published in the lexicon ...

    A very close, in the same city someone
sitting at the keyboard and hard 386SX wrote something
at ACME.


                        1.


    A new virus has not yet had no name, but personally
he is not worried. He is used to change the names,
place of residence, and appearance. And now he
sat at some exe'shnike tucked into the vestibule
thick directory tree apgreydnutogo UFO and
waited patiently, when to some fool
nick pleases shooting at monsters.

    Finally, somewhere near the door clicked
drive. Virus gleefully smiled - life
nick, attracted by the improved sound and
reduced number of bugs, ceased to be
Fresh and monotonous ...

    From thinking of the virus took off delicate
cough. Nearby stood a small man in
gray suit and squinted, looked at him
through his glasses.

    "Aidstest!" - Realize the virus. User,
it turns out, was caught not quite stupid. However,
he did not help - and so is even more interesting.

    - Could not I have you somewhere to see? - Politely
asked a man in a gray suit. -
Someone you vaguely remind me ...

    "I should not resemble" - protested in the shower
virus. Programming style, as is known,
thing stable, and despite the fact that it
there was no command from the code K-817, it is slightly
smacked him. Of course, when he did not change
appearance.

    - I do not think - the virus arrogantly closed listing
with a bunch of senseless commands such as mov al, al /
ror al, cl / xor al / ... - Mathematics I ...

    - Packer, or what? No specialty
work? - Curious Aidstest.

    - Well, not quite ... But like ... - Smile
virus. Communicate with Aidstest'om in the early stages
implementation of the system should not have - the consequences 
could be up to the low-level format, but it was not

Kamikaze as Half, who went on missions with
TNT stuffed pockets - to shoot him was
thing dangerous. Incidentally, his latest data
deserves serious attention ... Then the virus
knocked thought Aidstest, which bowed with
the words "pleased to meet you."

    "Wow - kupitsya at level 5
polymorphism "- thought the virus, seeing
view receding Aidstest'a. "However, long-
already there are rumors that he was going to depart from
Affairs ... Speaking of affairs - polymorphism
polymorphism, as a safety net is still not
interfere ... "Nearby he saw a cast iron manhole with
inscription VCPI ...

    To work! Virus rose, picked up lying
next to a thick folder of notes and went to look for
hatch.


                        2.


    The virus is sent to hatch a folder with notes
looked at the way in which it successfully
sprawling next to a thick optokabelem transfer
data of some level of secrecy there, and kicked
cover. Folder - it is carefully
disguised as a safety net device - itself
sort out what to do.

    He looked around. Near blinked neon
sign bar "Turbo Pascal". There was just entering
very shabby man in a suit, dappled
and AKM. The virus is thought of something funny,
looked around and with a sly smile, ducked into a bar
after the submachine gunner.

    The bar was full of smoke, hoarsely thundered music
Group "Uses Crt" and flashes lights of different
primitive visuals. Everywhere the crowd
applications ...

    Search for decent customer did not have: near
stand sat an incredibly thick DOS Navigator in
mate's cap and uniform jacket with
the vast number of patches, medals and other
distinctions, among which are
huge medal with the inscription on the diagonal
"Registered" and some long numbers, and something
cram grimly listening to his vocabulary and
Norton. Virus with the scattered views leaned on
rack adjacent to the company, ordered a mug
beer "Two + 's" and pretending to be sipped from
mugs (in the first place, he was a non-drinker, and secondly,
hated objects), listened to
conversation ...

    - ... To make, since he does not want to! - Hot
DOS Navigator. - I learn - first
work for so accustomed to and do not
could, and then - give formal registration!
Kicks slogans every 5 minutes - and
see how many will last! Some
however, trying to palm off counterfeit banknotes, but
here it should look - I was a cat
concert arranged ...

    Norton focused on beer and missed out these
lengthy discussion on deaf ears - with the pope in
America, where, as we know, users rich and
not frightened, he could afford to live in freedom ...
Lexicon of somberly listened and pondered some
plans. It was evident that further deliberation is not
go.

    - Similarly, the only way with them right! -
penetrated virus. - Members area should be kept at bay!
Free beer hand he kindly patted
Navigator on the back.

    - Who to keep? - Did not understand that.

    - These, users ... You're here to
Ask! - Virus invitingly waved his beer
tommy. He quickly orient
jumped up and grabbed a beer with such a stretched
view, though he had not drank for several years. However, since
It was true. Virus smiled to himself - in a mug
Beer has been less than the LCD.

    - Who are you? - Asked in surprise
Navigator.

    - Anti-Kot I ... - Eyes submachine
othlebnuvshego in one go around the whole circle,
climbed onto the forehead and there is slowly slipping
side.

    - Well, the interface you ... When they wrote that?

    - What do you know, the most progressive
interface among the anti-virus ... was at one time,
offended Anti-Kot. - Such a sound, no one
was!

    - And now what? - Asked Lexicon,
that this style is like.

    DOS Navigator, lost interest in conversation
turned to the desk to find on the back carefully
derived chalk letters "MsDos".

    Anti-Kot choked on his beer, grabbed the
automatic and indiscriminate screaming "I thought that
I long for all ... "drove the Navigator in the inscription
polmagazina.

    Norton, as a soldier and officer, to understand
before anyone else (except for the virus, of course) and dived 
under the Cover the rack. Lexicon tried to do

feet, but was spotted and endowed with the rest of the
shop. Zavarushku just begun - spare
shops at the Anti-Kota had a lot of ...

    Of course, all this had no
relationship to the virus, which is not currently
slowly walked away from the bar, slightly smiling and
attentively listening to the lines and screams
visitors and staff. He was the principal
opposed the registration of software - except
illegal, of course ...


                        3.


    After such entertainment can be and
work seriously. The virus was almost time to
consider another dirty trick, when he diverted
two dimly visible because of distance figures clearly
was moving toward him. Peering
better, the virus is rushed to the nearest sub-directory
communicate directly with ADinf'om ADinfExt'om and he did not
like ...

    Pressed to the wall, he frantically groped for
pockets. Where? ..

    - So, and here we have someone new ... - Before
it rose caught in spetsnaz form
ADinf'a figure. - What documents are you looking for? A
documents without the need to have my own list ...

    "Yet they were not there" - he thought the virus finally
Nashar, among other little things such as stealth cloaks and
antitrassirovochnyh gas grenades harmless from
mind up ...

    - And this is what? - It seems, ADinf finally
found in the list of places corresponding to this
directory. - Over here! Here the form ...

    The virus is instantly brought up to the mouth and the 
needle gipnonarkotikom stuck with exactly the carotid

artery ADinf'a.

    - Hey! What have you got? - Heard a scream
ADinfExt'a. - Help do not need?

    - All safely, - has prompted a virus. -
Check further. Yes postrozhe - it is difficult
kept a grin, pushing ADinf'a to be released in
directory level above.

    - All ... well ... - And repeated ADinf
walked toward the exit.

    The virus is slightly relaxed - it was
really serious opponent. But for the rest
there was no time. Suppress the urge a little
have fun with videofontami, he opened a pick
the nearest door marked "Int 13h. Business
login! Only qualified personnel! "And
slipped into ... Of course, put on
place fn 02/03 more modern 0Ah/0Bh was not
something new and original, but users are
order surprised.


                        4.


    Sitting on some tucked exeshnike,
virus rested. The mission was almost complete.
One could go further by extending
across the country, will drive in the shivering users and 
causing deferential respect for the systems people.


    He had already thought about the final visual effects
when he was distracted by a noise behind him. As
appeared behind him approaching three something
elusively similar personalities:

    Unshaven submachine dappled in overalls
with a bandaged head and a few asymmetric
face. Night at the bar is clearly not gone Anti-Kot'u
for future use.

    Short man with round glasses, a gray
suit and with a huge revolver. Although Aidstest and
was going to retire, he was still
boesposoben.

    And some unknown virus personality ...
However, unknown to you? It was said of him
in the last message Halfa.

    The third was a man in a white doctor's
robe, gauze mask, cap and with a solid
the size of the bags, which were large
letters written by "Dr. WEB". Just at this moment
he, fumbling in his pockets, muttering: "Where I had
seen? "- and he clearly looked to the virus.

    The virus tried to apply the standard trick
closing the listing, but the doctor gently
pushed obstruct a huge stack of paper
to the side and stared at him.

    - Young man, you are, in fact,
sit?

    "Stupid question. But to say something should be ..."

    - Uh ... The work I have such ... Packer I
unsuccessfully lied virus.

    - Something I can not remember the packer with the
looks ... Let me see ... - The doctor finally
pulled out of a pocket of a printout with
headline "New viruses". - Guys! Virus!

    "Failure!" - Artificial Intelligence virus
immediately transferred to the regime against
antivirus. He drew from his inside pocket
stealth cloak, and fired Anti-Kot'a and Aidstest'a
occurred in an empty space, from just
darted behind them a vague shadow.

    - Where is he? - Anti-Kot put a new store and
nervously looking around. The virus behind him
quietly giggled and tried to kick him so
to kick seemed directed by
Aidstest'a, crouching beside him and desperately
attempts to locate the enemy.

    Submachine whirled - and his expectations
more than justified: on the back Aidstest'a
clearly could see the well-known 5 letters ...

    Automatic fire merged with the cry
"Traitor!" and clatter of the old trouble-free
Colt - Still Aidstest was a professional ...

    Left alone the doctor tore
cap, and ablaze on his forehead mirror
brought to light near the two fallen antivirus
translucent figure of the virus. He sharply
turned around, drawing from his pocket something
rectangular, and the time to see how Crouching
the doctor pulled out from under his robe, "Ingram" ...

    Several dozen bullets from a high initial
speed interrupted his brief but rich
existence.


                       -

    End? No way! What could be the end,
if the mission was never completed? What? You
say that the virus destroyed? How do you take?
Ah, "Ingram"? This, of course, convincing
argument ... But there is something else ...

    From the latest information Halfa: Danilov not
loves to climb into the code more than necessary.

    And this was taken into account when creating the very
device safety net, which you already
completely forgotten, and the first part of which
just started ...


                        5.


    Once implanted in the heart of the virus detector
cut off the signals, the antenna device
hedging recorded the fact of Clinical
death and gave the signal to the executive
devices ...

    By the way, music folder, as such no longer existed.
Its function is mainly to build
constantly supplied with viruses, the agents details
huge device - could not pull with the same virus
are all these tens of kilobytes, right and
turn difficult, to say nothing and act
move ... Fortunately, all the details were already on
their places, and could only give a signal to
action - which was just received.

    Immediately set into motion a system of
Urgent resuscitation remote ...


                       -

    - You see how tenacious! - It was
the first thing I heard resurrected virus. Over it
stood the doctor, "Ingram," and it carefully
considered.

    - I try - as usual grin virus
easily to his feet. Now they stood facing each
against each other - two eternal enemy ...

    - Not a bad implementation ... However, I must
destroy you. At this time the error is unacceptable.

    A man in a white coat stuck "Ingram"
somewhere in the bowels of his vestments, flung
bag, pulled out impressive size
launcher and aimed carefully.

    - This is one more your fault - smile, the virus
took a portable radio and pulled apart
button located ...

    Of the hatches VCPI hit violet rays,
aimed at the virus. It was his most
the latest and most secret weapons - the first
polymorphic generator level 7, which implements the full
polymorphism of the virus. Great deal of work on
its creation has been completed recently, and
Now the generator is fully justified assigned
it out ...

    The figure of the virus hesitated, as reflected in
water and converted into a sparkling purple
cloud flashes. Released just in its center
grenade went through without causing damage, and
demolished several subdirectories behind (once
this has been - sprang up in the AI ​​virus) ...

    - I'll be back, - time to inform
virus, finally transforming into a cloud. Cloud
soared and gone off somewhere to the side quarters
working tools on the road hitting the beam passport
Archives ADinf'a ...


                     Epilogue.


    Somewhere in Leningrad, a man whom I
never seen sitting behind a computer monitor,
about which I know nothing, and rewrote
code ...

    And somewhere at the same time, but it is in
Elsewhere someone was sitting at the same 386SX ...


                     *