If people drove cars the same way,
how they work on computers (conversation
by calling the Driver and Technician from those.
support)
Technician: Driver's technical department. support. Than
can we help?
Driver: This... I don’t have a car.
is going on.
Technician: I see. What is your car?
make, model, and year of manufacture?
Driver: And I... who the hell knows! I'll coo her
drank to go to the store, where do I come from?
know...
Technician: Okay, okay, calm down. By-
We are trying to do without this information...
(sigh) Do you have gas in the tank?
Driver: Hm.. Gasoline in the tank, you say...
How will I know?
Technician: Look at the front panel.
Where does the arrow point, to "E" or to
"F"?
Driver: Where is the front panel?
Technician: She is right behind the wheel if
you are sitting in the driver's seat.
Driver: Ah! I see. .. Tex... And then the stre-
There are many locks, which one should I watch?
Technician: Look at the one next to which
written E or F. There may also be
the gas station is drawn.
Driver: Ahh! I see. The arrow shows
to zero.
Technician: How about zero?Driver: Yeah. Straight to zero. And also nearby
with an arrow it says "x1000". What is this,
my car model? Ex-thousand?
Technician: (deep sigh and roll
eye) No, this is not flammable, this is taxometp.
It should show zero if ma-
the tire is not started. Fuel arrow
but to the left and smaller than taxometp, and on it
should be written "E", then semi-
circle, then "F".
Driver: Ahh. I see, I see! Arrow nocepe-
line between E and F.
Technician: Great! At least we know
what fuel do you have? Now let's
Let's check the battery. Do you see the steering wheel?
Driver: Uh-huh.
Technician: Press right in the middle...
Driver: (loud beep is heard) OH!
Is this what she should do?
Technician: (rolling his eyes) It's okay,
this is your signal. If it works, then
Everything is fine with your battery. Te-
Now let's try to start the car.
Driver: So, damn it, I’m saying that it’s not for-
common. That's why I'm calling, dumbass.
Technician: (grinding teeth) Still, let’s-
let's try again! Step on the pedal
clutch, press the brake, and turn
those are the key.
Driver: Oh-oh! Let's go in order. Where
Do I have a "clutch pedal"?
Technician: CLUTCH... Under the steering wheel on the left. On-
did you go?Driver: Found it.
Technician: Push it all the way down. So. Te-
Do you see two pedals on the right under the steering wheel?
Driver: Uh-huh.
Technician: The left one is the brake. Click on
her. Did you click?
Driver: Pressed.
Technician: Now turn the key to the ignition
NI.
Driver: And how will I turn the key if
Are both my hands already full?
Technician: Excuse me?
Driver: With my left hand I press on the engagement
right hand on the brake, as I should
Should your wife turn the keys for you, he asks -
Xia?
Technician: (chokes with laughter). So, let's
let's try again, only this time on
press the pedals with your feet.
Driver: With your feet? Is that really possible?
Technician: (still choking with laughter) You can.
Driver: Let's try... Oh, it's more convenient...
Why didn't you tell me right away... (audible
fuss). Pressed.
Technician: Now turn the key to the
rahuu all the way.
Driver: Where is my ignition?
Technician: At the base of the steering wheel, on the right.
Driver: Hmm. I have a hole, a
there is no key in it.
Technician: Well, insert it.
Driver: Who?Technician: (losing patience) Ignition key!
Driver: How do I know which one I have?
ignition key?
Technician: (grabbing his head) This is normal
The largest key on the bunch.
Driver: On the link?
Technician: Yes, where do you keep all the others?
keys...
Driver: Ahh! So I lost her for two days
back. So do I need a key?
Technician: (hangs up) Tyyyyyyyy....
Driver: Hello, hello?
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