Closette DOS - a rustic toilet, a cramped stall, a hole in the floor, extremely easy to build.

Promised Land #04
 Closet DOS:                           
                                         
  An ordinary village toilet, cramped toilet
binka, hole in the floor, extremely easy to
construction, but at the slightest abnormal
behavior of the current subject may fail
fall into the hole underneath along with
him, and no means to get out of there
getting out clean usually doesn't happen.      
                                         
Deskview Closet:                       
                                         
  The hole and the cabin have been widened, so no-
how many people can celebrate in this
the only hole your need at the same time
but...                                      
                                         
 Closet Win 3.1:                       
                                         
  The same toilet, only slightly different
poor construction, several holes in the floor,
thanks to which they can relieve themselves
how many people. Just as shaky and awkward
stable, but there is a rope tied to the roof
and when the toilet fails, it rises into the pit
a blue flag indicating this.  Moreover
if one of those in the closet decides
throw a grenade into a hole, you'll end up in shit
Everyone else is chewing too.Win 95 closet:                        
                                         
  Beautiful brick building, Finnish universities
Three types of cans, convenient selection system
booths, the possibility of breaking through one
from the toilets, throw him out of the building, pro-
whose amenities. But what's strange is that when I try
look into the toilet below, it's see-through
still the same cesspool.  When using
on average in 1 out of 5 visits to your
pours its contents.                    
                                         
Win98 closet                          
                                         
 Looks about the same as a closet
Vin95, only "user" is offered
read a magazine while using
niya or (optional) listen to music.
If you try to do all 3 things at once, bepo-
the possibility that you will be showered with shit,
increases to 100%.  And the probability is semi-
read your "soldering" is simply reduced to
2 times a year (when visiting the toilet, not
more than once every 2 weeks).               
                                         
 Closet BuhME                          
                                         
  It looks like a Win98 closet.  But almost
atevery visit you are showered with shit -
mom. The cesspool, although still in use,
concreted so that the blockage can be cleared
only possible with a crowbar.  Its contents
mine is placed in heavy-duty, firmly
glued to the bottom of the pit, although often
exploding packages. When trying to tear off
package (for example, the pit is filled to the brim)
the tear-off package explodes and a dozen co-
gray ones.                                  
                                         
OS/2 closet:                          
                                         
  The toilet is made of concrete slabs, not very beautiful
siv, looks a lot like a bomb shelter,
just like in the previous toilet, they have -
There are three types of cabins, but two of them are not
how many are crookedly made, so when trying
ke to sit on them in some asses pierced-
throwing sharp thorns, forcing people to run out
from the toilet screaming and dropping his pants
mi. With tails specially designed
for this toilet (of which there are very few)
th), there are usually no problems.  Cesspool
It was not possible to find any holes under the building,
there is a sewerage system, but where
She's leaving, I don't know.  That's just
question: why is there a place next to this building?
mast with a lowered black flag... ;)  
                                         
Win NT closet                                         
  Large metal building (looks like
to the safe), no free entry, hanging
huge barn castle.  For construction
it requires a strong foundation and a heap
time, is nevertheless very reliable, and
it can only be shaken by an explosion in
very center anti-tank mine, but also
then in some cases he can pro-
continue to work, say, with the
lighting.  Attitude towards old problems
close to the OS/2 closet, but even tougher, not
automatically cuts off the ass you like
with a circular saw and throws it in the trash.
                                         
Win2k closet                          
                                         
  Looks like a Win98 closet from the outside, but
when you try to enter you find yourself in there-
storm, leaning against the door of the BuhHT closet.
Making your way inside, you find bhytpehho-
sty of the Win98 closet, although the squeak is compressed
a loud cry from the next booth assures you
in the deceitfulness of what he saw.               
                                         
 Closet XP                             
                                         
  Very, very similar to the Win2k closet.
Only everything is covered with wallpaper and appliqué
mi, plays with difficultymusic turning off
everything blinks and shimmers at you
When visiting, he puts on an apron and puts on
the pacifier squeals, and sometimes not at all
there. Behavior when problems arise
identical to the BuhHT closet, but at the same time
The data is sent to the developer for clarification.
reasons.                              
                                         
 Unix Closet                          
                                         
  Not used, but in video filming
they mean something cool, small in size
ditch, with powerful sewerage and charging system
shields, we only know that special
alnye butts, since the construction npuctpo-
eh, this is a very, very hemorrhagic matter....  
                                         
Linux closet                         
                                         
  Looks very attractive on the avenues
True, it turns out when purchasing,
that the resulting product must be "carefully
process with a file." When finally
In normal installation it is a section of
armored booths, fences between
which, however, can be lifted. But if
they are lowered, they can be exploded inside the cabins
at least an anti-tank mine - your times
smeared remains will not interfere with the thoughtful
grunting from the othersusers.  They
They won't even notice it.                   
                                         
 Nearby there is a series of barracks similar   
            type - Closets *NIX          
                                         
FreeBSD closet:                       
                                         
  There is an envelope hanging on the door containing
It is necessary to put a detailed description of your
our future behavior in the booth.  If
you need a toilet - take it from the pantry and
screw it yourself.  Eighteen modes
release, fine-tuning the speed of release
water and two slabs of a cunning shape, which
ry need to be put if you think that
everything is about to explode.  Allows you to dis-
parallel flows to two or more toilets
or vice versa, collect them.                 
                                         
Linux closet:                         
                                         
  Painted in 6 different colors, covered
seven types of wallpaper, 14 independent handles
draining water, the toilet seat is assembled from 8
parts, each of which requires filing
Nika - but you can come with yours
a toilet seat, a toilet bowl and any ass
forms. Closet SUN Solaris:                   
                                         
  Power and beauty "Kommoh closet ehbupoh-
ment", the trigger is unified with the handle
shifting your car's gears.  On
barrel has a mass of holes of different shapes, and a row of
home beautiful toolbox.   Pen,
inserted in the wrong place, it pours everything on you
accumulated but 24 hour cannopt ready
politely explain to you what to do next.
Paranoids can buy an armored roof
with 26 bolts, which is tightly closed
creates a hole in case of an explosion.         
                                         
 DEC UNIX closet:                      
                                         
  Fantastic speed if you can't
if you can relieve yourself at such a speed - you
will help. Possibility in the process of transplantation -
move from pot to pot without getting everything dirty
around. Same beauty and set of holes,
what about SUN, I just forgot to attach the toolbox -
whether. If you carefully peel off the wallpaper, you will find
a tightly glued envelope with a sealed
Danish like FreeBSD.                    
                                         
QNX closet:                           
                                         
  Wonderfuldevice the size of
matchbox, including ba-
choke, toilet and inflatable toilet seat. On exit
de fan pipe is of a very tricky shape, that's all
adapters require a milling tool
machine Water is rushing into a pipe under a huge
pressure - so God forbid something
You won't screw it up somewhere.                      
                                         
 "Double" AIX (five-liter):            
                                         
  Allows on-the-fly re-
distribution of toilets between all rear
tsami. Can clean, change, add
and remove toilets and other fittings -
everything happens so quickly that you are completely
you don’t have time to notice anything. Like with taboo
with a rattle in the kitchen - you got up, and she was already
stolen. When the toilet is working properly,
it does everything quickly, conveniently and generally for
You ;-) Synchronicity cnyckob toilets in
the closet is made easier by the fact that they all have
They have a cistern of the same capacity.  A
toilets in three-story cynepcoptupax can
chat through the fan system for obmed-
large diameter pipes.  Standing up
pen in the wrong place unknown
subsequently_unknown_when everything will collapse
this magnificence is on you. If some ha-
the toilet has broken or the pipe has burst
then they will help you. But if he got stuck and
it's buggy - then it's only yoursproblem
we. When the closet does not work normally, then
the results may be very different
and no one will clean up after you (24*7*365 percent-
Comrade out of a hundred) will not be. Therefore, be ready for
just in case, keep your sealed
stock loading toilet paper roll
to reinstall the entire establishment.  Because of
its register of all toilets in
closet, how does it look like Closet_NT,
although rare, butts suffer remoppo-
I eat. Evil tongues say that this is because
that AIX stands for "non-Unix"
(AInt-uniX).                             
                                         

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