Softpanorama - electronic computer jargon.

Softpanorama 1992, No.4 (28) *** HUM0R ***                    
 Compiled by: N.N.                                              
BEZRUK0V ****************************************************   
                                                                
AREA:REL.TERMS                                                  
                                                                
From: postmast@lek.мsk.su (Masalov A.V.) Subjest: Collection  
jargon (February 15, 1992) Lines: b30 Reply-To: postmast@lek.msk.su    
                                                                
Friends!                                                         
                                                                
In response to your wishes and advice, I changed the structure  
Jargonary.   Now all words are sorted alphabetically  
ok.  J. is now impersonal, but everyone who gives me something  
sent, mentioned at the end of the text with gratitude. There were  
some comments about repetition and unoriginality. This  
because I put in J. everything that was sent to me. But once  
so - don’t blame me, I took the liberty of throwing back  
the aforementioned repetitions and unoriginality.  It was also  
proposal to separate jargon and folklore into different files - I  
I haven’t shared it yet, I would like to hear (in the sense of read)  
opinions on thisabout (and in general any opinions and advice about J.).   
                                                                
I am also changing the format of the magazine on the advice of   
(Shagiev Yu.M.).    0n suggested using the format  
American The Jargon File, something like this:                
                                                                
, [(var. I do not bear any obligation to comply with copyright in any form  
no moral or ethical responsibility for words,  
included in the Jargonary. DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING TEXT  
MAY IMPOSE ME TO NO RESPONSIBILITY TO ANYONE  
T0 WAS NOT0.  Reprint, distribution and reproduction  
Jargonary materials are permitted in any way, up to  
carving with a bronze chisel on a marble slab. Usage  
materials Jargonary can be carried out in any form and  
in any way without any consent from me, up to  
use in oral speech and official documents. Everything that  
I did this ONLY COLLECTED, 0F0PMILED and DISPOSED.  
===============================================================================  
-= E L E C T P 0 N N Y G A P G 0 N A P I Y =-                 
                                                                
If the hatch suddenly opens, don’t be alarmed, it’s a glitch! (Folklore  
drivers of Moscow regular buses.)                       
                                                                
...This morning I dreamed of Modest Matveevich Kamnoedov. As if he  
became the head of the Computing Center and teaches me how to work for"Aldane." “Modest Matveevich,” I told him, “after all, everything that you  
If you advise me, this is some kind of sick nonsense." And he shouted: "You  
Stop this for me!  Everything you have here is rubbish!  
Beli-ber-r-da!"  (Strugatsky, "Monday...") ...Duty  
According to the institution, during the holidays it is a responsible occupation. This  
You don't have to press buttons.       (Ibid.).  
==============================================================================   
Started: January 30, 1992 Last modified: March 15, 1992  
g. ----------------------------------------------------------   
                                                                
<1/40, oblique, wide> - typical computer configuration.      
                                                                
<420th model> - 38B processor, 4MB 0RAM, 120MB hard drive.      
                                                                
 - power switch.                                
                                                                
 (var. ) - according to observations --  
favorite answer of all programs without exception, as well as  
programmers to an offer to do something that he cannot  
I want to. - the normal state of a program or person,  
when he (or she) is unable to perceive further  
INFORMATION.                                                     
                                                                
 - personal computer equipped with 3.5" and 5.25"  
flops (see).                                                   
                                                                
 - refusal to take further action. After the words  
"Sustem chilled" a person usually falls asleep.  You can add  
in front are the words "divide overflow" (see), running on Big Blue's  
IBM PCs can add "no rum bass".                         
                                                                
-=< A >=-                                                       
                                                                
 (var. ) - archived file.          
                                                                
Name: Pronounced: zipovanny zazipovanny z00captive  
jagged  
LNAY elash ARJANY ARJANY ARJEVED ARGEVANIZED  
iced iced iced-=< B >=-                                                       
                                                                
 (var. , ) - ВВS.                 
                                                                
 - one disk from a package of disks. (*The head struck  
to the second pancake.*)                                                
                                                                
 - blink.                                          
                                                                
 is the place where your program stumbled.            
                                                                
 (var. , ) - toboot.              
                                                                
-=< B >=-                                                       
                                                                
 - VAX.                                                  
                                                                
 (var. , , , ) - HDD. is an inexperienced systems engineer.                              
                                                                
 - three fingers salute, Ctrl-Alt-Del.    
                                                                
-=< Г >=-                                                       
                                                                
 - unauthorized program exit (from Game  
0ver).                                                          
                                                                
 - to gate.                                          
                                                                
 (var. ) - obviously useless software  
a product, for example, producing only video effects.  How  
as a rule, is not equipped with any dialogue, since it does not require  
no reasonable intervention.                               
                                                                
 is the most important activity of the glitch-maker. Then  
Yes, she already does everything, and there is shine, but here is her beloved child  
The programmer usually doesn’t let go.  Are there deadlines?to the customer, and so on.                                        
                                                                
 - show that the program is running. For example:  
UUI0.EXE demonstrates that it is glitching with two lines of Colored  
letters in the bottom half of the screen. (*Our programmers screwed up  
"Accounting for material assets." The batch file finished in 15  
minutes.*).                                                       
                                                                
 - GNU C.                                                 
                                                                
-=< D >=-                                                       
                                                                
 - DEC.                              
                                                                
 - display.                                            
                                                                
 - a means for exterminating beetles (BUGs).          
                                                                
 - perforation device.                            
                                                                
(var. ) - DR-D0S.                              
                                                                
 - printer (tracing paper from German, why is English worse?).        
                                                                
-=< E >=-                                                       
                                                                
-=< F >=- ,  - work with the mouse.                   
                                                                
 - hardware.                                            
                                                                
 - communicate via modem.                                
                                                                
-=< Z >=-                                                       
                                                                
 (var. ) - make a file request.           
                                                                
 - (share) provide for sharing  
use (by programs or users).                 
                                                                
-=< AND >=- - those who worked on Videoton terminals can  
use these words in any situation. For example, if it drips  
faucet in the kitchen.  (The word dezhiTse is pronounced with the indispensable  
emphasis on the second syllable - out of respect for the original).           
                                                                
-=< K >=-                                                       
                                                                
 - SGA.                                                  
                                                                
 - kill the process (Unix).                             
                                                                
 - kill processes (*Kicked all titivai.*).           
                                                                
 (var. , , ) - PC.            
                                                                
 - to connect.                                    
                                                                
 - copy. - Turn off the power to the machine.                     
                                                                
 - 1).  character from the game Moria. 2). Soviet "mouse".  
(Have you seen it? About the size of an iron. :-)                          
                                                                
-=< L >=-                                                       
                                                                
 - laser printer.                                    
                                                                
 - to log in.                                       
                                                                
 - break watch (see pipe jack).               
                                                                
-=< M >=-                                                       
                                                                
 is a macro assembler programmer.                   
                                                                
 - mouse driver.                                         
                                                                
 (var.) - any device with magnetic tape  
(streamer, tape recorder).                                         
                                                                
 - interference in the terminal or telephone line.           
                                                                
 - mouse (*Mousey computer.*).                          
                                                                
 - letter.                                               
                                                                
-=< N >=-                                                       
                                                                
 - worker in S.                                    
                                                                
 - no carrier/handshake error.                    
                                                                
 (var. ) - Netware (First met in  
FID0).                                                          
                                                                
-=< 0 >=-                                                       
                                                                
 - implement an automated control system.                                   
                                                                
 (var. ) floppy disk - make a floppy disk  
downloadable.                                                    
                                                                
 - 0 memory.                                                 
                                                                
 - give it to a neighboring mail node - let it go now  
will lie there...                                                  
                                                                
-=< P >=-                                                       
                                                                
 (var. ) - make roll.                 
                                                                
 (var. ) - a worker on pascal.          
                                                                
 - to reboot.                                   
                                                                
 - printer (var. ) - print.                   
                                                                
 - map.                                               
                                                                
 - 1).send a file or letter.  (*"Let's ask  
Microsoft will kick us the Windows source code."*) 2). restart  
car (literal translation to boot).                             
                                                                
 (var. , , , ,  
 - (about the car) a situation when the car does not react to any  
what external stimuli, with the exception of the 'RESET' button.      
                                                                
 (var. ) - erase files, format  
completely.                                                        
                                                                
 - kill the process with the command kill -ВUS (Unix).    
                                                                
 is a powerful device in a neighboring organization,  
creating interference in the electrical network. (*If the system crashes in  
result of a throw onpower supply: "0five in... plugtron  
turned on!"*).                                                   
                                                                
 - ... (I hope You understood. Note comp.).        
                                                                
-=< P >=-                                                       
                                                                
 - a hacker who can revive a hopelessly deceased woman  
car, despite all its resistance.                       
                                                                
 - a state of full combat readiness somewhere  
run, do something, and generally perform some actions.  
(0t of the screensaver of the Mash 3, a popular toy at the time).          
                                                                
 - R0M.                                                  
                                                                
 - when the program crashes in the core is dumped.     
                                                                
-=< C >=-                                                       
                                                                
 - (main) scoundrel inall toys without exception.   
                                                                
 - CD-R0M.                                          
                                                                
 - perform the duties of a sуsop.                     
                                                                
 - tо bаskup.                                          
                                                                
 - delete uncollected mail for the month.                  
                                                                
 - i80x87.                                                
                                                                
 - software.                                         
                                                                
 - dedicated lines sometimes go dark.                    
                                                                
-=< T >=-                                                       
                                                                
 - pour (see) something somewhere with a tar (Unix).           
                                                                
 -work on the keyboard.                      
                                                                
 - everything that hesitates.                                      
                                                                
 - 1).  have trouble thinking.  2).  spend time  
play computer games.                                     
                                                                
 - a variant of Turbopascal (there is such a buggy  
program).                                                     
                                                                
-=< У >=-                                                       
                                                                
 have UNIХ (and we have Demos).                              
                                                                
 - user.                                                  
                                                                
-=< Ф >=-                                                       
                                                                
 is a popular explanation for unexpectedly  
a working machine or program that suddenly came to life and  
started doing what I needed to doit is required.                      
                                                                
 - file.                                                 
                                                                
 (var. ) - stop the computer (In Unix  
there is a FASThalt command).  "Packer!"  - dirty word  
programmers, applies to an engineer when he finally  
working day comes to turn off the computer.                       
                                                                
 (var. , , , ,  
) - FDD.                                               
                                                                
 - 1). a program that allows you to copy an image from  
screen to file. 2). packer program (freeze).                
                                                                
-=< X >=-                                                       
                                                                
 - IBM PC/XT.                                            
                                                                
 - high density floppy. (var. , , ) - something  
edit, fix, write programs (hacker :-).           
                                                                
 - 0S Xenix.                                             
                                                                
 - Hewlett Packard.                              
                                                                
-=< C >=-                                                       
                                                                
 - language 'C' (you can say 'language of Tse').                     
                                                                
-=< H >=-                                                       
                                                                
 - daemon (Unix).                                
                                                                
-=< Ш >=-                                                       
                                                                
 - to shell. - data transmission via network communication (*Bad  
hosing!*).                                               
                                                                
-=< E >=-                                                       
                                                                
 - go somewhere or take something via FTP.       
                                                                
-=< Yu >=-                                                       
                                                                
-=< I >=-                                                       
                                                                
 -  
EGA. --------------------------------------------------------   
-= F 0 L K L 0 P =-                                           
                                                                
1. Good User - Dead User!                                      
                                                                
2. IBM is a small American company that produces peripherals for  
ES COMPUTER.3. Motorola is a company that produces controllers for  
scooters.                                                   
                                                                
4. VASIC - VASIC programming language for the Irisha computer.  
                                                                
5. “In the wilds of the network file system, a hacker somehow got lost  
young, All the symlinks and symlinks are on the way, And he has roads back  
can’t be found...." (P.S. Authorship belongs to Volodya Petrov  
)                                                  
                                                                
b. ТURВ0 - 1). button on the IBM PC/AT that completely deprives you  
the ability to see anything on a short-range radar.  
2). "slow" button.                                          
                                                                
7. WINCHESTER - a disc that does not hang, even if you smoke  
near him is a pack of Belomor. The domestic name is "BERDAN".   
                                                                
8. UTILITY is a general name for old programs that are a pity  
throw it away.                                                       
                                                                
9. MEGABYTE is the American name for kilobyte.10. LINKER - some kind of utility in many operating systems.  
They say that he can’t put two words together, let alone  
kilobytes!                                                     
                                                                
11. NASKER - lumberjack, forest orderly. After his work they survive  
only the most durable copies of operating systems.            
                                                                
12. Favorite question for novice users: “Where is  
"Anu key" key?                                            
                                                                
13. Question after the lecture about the structure and operation of a hard drive: “And  
Still, I don’t understand how there are no bits on it  
mixed up?!"                                             
                                                                
14. Don’t leave Norton with a reboot - it hurts him.         
                                                                
15. Press anу kеу translate: press your favorite button  
(option - for trigger)                                          
                                                                
1b. "To exit to the menu, press the Reset key."17. The love of beer is the love of beer, it is something pure and  
light, like a mug of kvass after a bath.  Has no  
attitude towards programming.  (The screensaver of one of the Moscow  
bebesok (see)).                                                  
                                                                
18. - We’re hanging... - We’re not hanging.  - We're hanging! - We’re not hanging, I say -  
the disk is shaking!                                                 
                                                                
19. “Ega not egit” - visual interference on the display.               
                                                                
20. An example of using the if-else construction of the “Tse” language (see).  
(Why not?) ... if(masha > 18) { tahi(gastronom);  
gastronom(bоttle);   tahi(masha);  } else if(vera == home)  
taxi(vera); else walk(home); ...                                
                                                                
21. The Tale of the Fisherman and the Fish (An Unfinished Tale)               
                                                                
Once upon a time there lived an Old Man and an Old Woman Near the turbine room. Old Man  
mined the periphery The old woman wrote the drivers They lived with the dilapidated  
terminal Exactly five years and two years.Once the Old Man went to Europe. There he cast his nets -  
He pulled out the old НANDВ00К'i. Another time he threw the nets -  
He pulled out the FAIL tapes. He cast his nets for the third time - Lo and behold -  
there is a goldfish in the nets, its scales are integral on its tail  
written "MERA" How the Goldfish prayed Says to the Old Man  
Fortran: "Let me go in peace, old man, to my native multiplexes  
channels Rich I will give a ransom for myself - I’ll complete with everything  
"The old man was frightened and surprised. He had never seen anything like it.  
miracle Said: “Give me some software We don’t have anything” “No  
"problems" the fish answered him with its Merov tail and waved  
dived into the very depths.                                           
                                                                
The Old Man came back with a hand-held executioner and told about this miracle.  
To the old woman The old woman was angry, you were a fool  
simpleton How much use is there in an executor? I don’t want to drive under him  
programs Go fool to your fish Ask for an operating system    
                                                                
The old man returned to Europe (there was a FAIL on the tape)  
He approached the modem and said: “Where are you goldfish?”  
A goldfish swam to him and asked: “What do you want,  
older?"  With regards to herThe old man replies: “Have mercy, Empress  
the fish scolded me The old woman Doesn’t want to work under an exec  
Give her the operating system" - the goldfish answers: "Don't  
be sad, go with God." The Old Man returned to the Old Woman  
Lo and behold, she’s sitting at the monitor, looking straight into the supervisor.  
The editor directs a marathon on the screen with a timer with a cuckoo Po  
a planner is wandering around the yard, chasing tasks at the car, the gate is closed  
password On the side there is file memory And at the entrance there is a dumper with  
with a mallet.                                                     
                                                                
How the Old Woman saw the Old Man - She quarreled worse SYSTEM MESSAGE:  
"You're a fool, you're a simpleton. Begged for 0C fool. I don't want to be  
system programmer I want to do whatever my heart desires so that  
Don’t mess around with assembler, but write in pure PASSAL. Various  
beautiful things."                                               
                                                                
So the Old Man wandered off to Europe again. He sees - in SYSTEM cars  
ERR0R 0n approaches the modem, calling out A goldfish has swam:  
"What do you want, old man?" The Old Man answers her with a bow:  
"Have mercy, lady fish, The old woman will get nervous again. She doesn’t want to  
work in software, but wants to be a freelance programmer so that  
forget completely about assemblerAnd write in pure PASSAL"  
The goldfish answers: “Don’t be sad, go with God.”       
                                                                
The Old Man returned to the Old Woman. Lo and behold, the software group is at the VC  
The preprocessors writes to the old woman, brings them with a bow to the utilities 0na  
beats them, pulls them by the beards, demands a new compiler, says  
Old man to his old woman: “Well, is your darling happy now?” On  
The Old Woman didn’t look at him - she went to test the tapes         
                                                                
Here's a week, another goes by Even worse than before The old woman got mad  
Calls the Old Man and says: “I don’t want to be free  
programmer, And I want to set tasks Not to slog all day for  
terminal - Compose any algorithms that only  
I wish."                                                       
                                                                
Here the Old Man was completely amazed: “What are you, woman, have you eaten too much henbane?  
You don’t understand anything about tasks. You’ll be a joke to the whole system.” Here  
The Old Woman stamped her feet. The faithful servants came running. They sent the Old Man.  
on a business trip.                                                 
                                                                
The old man returned to Europe (the system drives failed)  
he clicked on the goldfish. A fish swam to him and asked:"What do you want, old man?" The Old Man answers her with a bow:  
"Have mercy, lady fish, There is no life from the damned Old Woman,  
He really doesn’t want to be a free programmer. He just wants to install  
tasks Whatever her darling wants." The fish answers the old man: "Don't  
be sad, go with God, she will be kind to set the tasks"  
The Old Man returned and was amazed. His Old Woman was sitting in his office.  
Mathematicians around and programmers Relational Bank write to her  
They carry overseas packages They adapt them to our cars And the old woman  
know gives requests In the most simplified format The boyars are sitting nearby  
Yes, the nobles are discussing the contours of the system.                           
                                                                
When the Old Woman saw the Old Man, she scowled menacingly and said:  
“Hurry up and get to the fish I don’t want to know about the formats And  
give commands to the car I want to communicate by voice and whistle How  
I’ll think about it - let him do it And let your fish serve me And  
I would have for transactions" ............. (I very much  
I apologize to the one who sent this fairy tale - it was an accident  
Your name is lost in .  _0MUST0_ let us know about you!  
abandoned.