Humor - About Fat’s sister.

 FIFTY JOKES ABOUT FAT'S SISTER


 All this and much more has been written about
a unique family living in Moscow. B
it includes: BOLD (not of particular interest
represents), FATHER OF FAT (this is a separate
conversation) and, finally, FAT'S SISTER! She
represents something like lifelong
a pregnant elephant without a trunk (there's enough
and nose), only thoughts about mass and appearance
which causes superstitious horror! Her
favorite food is margarine and that's it
the rest.
 For people with strong nerves or
having bitter enemies with weak nerves,
we can send you a photo of it on a concrete slab,
for suicides we arrange a confrontation.


 FAT'S SISTER COMES TO THE GYNECOLOGIST AND
SAYS:
 - DOCTOR, PUT ME WITH A SPIRAL.
 - WE DO NOT HAVE SPRINGS FOR ELEVATORS, -
THE DOCTOR ANSWERS.

 FAT'S SISTER WALKS DOWN THE STREET
BURKA, A LITTLE BOY RUNS UP TO HER
AND ASKS:
 - ELEPHANT?
 FAT'S SISTER TAKES OFF THE BURKA, AND
THE BOY SCREAMS IN HORROR:
 - MUTANT!!!

 FAT'S SISTER RETURNED HOME WITH
ENTRANCE EXAMINATIONS.
 - DID YOU ATTEND THE INSTITUTE? -
THE FATHER ASKS.
 - NO.
 - WHAT, DID NOT PASS IN THE COMPETITION?
 - I DID NOT GET INTO THE DOOR.

 FAT'S SISTER CAME TO THE NAKED VIDEO
CONSTRUCTION CONSTRUCTION WHERE THE WALKING EXCAVATOR WAS WORKING.
ALL THE CONSTRUCTION WORKERS RUSHED TO RUNN, SCREAMING.
WITHOUT PAYING ATTENTION THAT WITH THEM
THE EXCAVATOR RUNS AWAY.

 FAT'S SISTER MET WITH THE CHIEF
DIRECTOR OF THE MEXICAN FILM "NOBODY"
EXCEPT YOU!", AND SUGGESTEDPLAY YOURSELF FOR THE ROLE
THE MAIN HEROINE OF THIS FILM IS RAQUEL.
 “WELL,” SAID THE DIRECTOR, “BUT
IN THIS CASE THE FILM WILL BE CALLED:
"ONLY NOT YOU!"

 FAT'S SISTER IS SITTING ALONE IN THE ROOM, AND
SUDDENLY A HUGE BOAR RUNS INTO THE ROOM.
 - OH! - SHE SCREAMS, - MOUSE!

 CROSSING THE RAILROAD BACK,
FAT'S SISTER HAD HIS FOOT CATCHED ON A RAIL.
THE RAIL COULD NOT STAND UP AND BREAKED.
 - NOTHING, AND IT WILL GO, - SHE THOUGHT
TYING ROCKED RAIL.

 FAT'S SISTER ENTERS THE STORE, CALLING
SELLER AND SAYS:
 - SHOW ME THOSE SOCKS.
 - THESE ARE NOT SOCKS, - SAYS THE SELLER, -
THESE ARE CAR SEAT COVERS.

 FAT'S SISTER IN THE STORE ASKS
SELLER CHOOSE A CLOAK FOR HER.
 - WE DO NOT HAVE SUCH SIZES, -
SELLER SAYS - BUT FROM MY POINT OF VIEW
A TANK COVER WITH
CUT FOR TOWER.

 FAT'S FATHER CALLED THE MASTER TO
INSTALL SATELLITE TELEVISION AT YOURSELF.
 - SATELLITE TELEVISION RECEPTION
THE HOUSE WILL INTERFERE WITH THE OPPOSITE, SAYS
MASTER.
 - LENOTCHKA, HELP! - THE FATHER CALLS THE DAUGHTER
BOLD.

 - YOU WILL NOT HAVE MATCHES? - ASKED ON
STREET FAT GUY'S SISTER HOLDING IN HAND
UNLIT CIGARETTE.
 “I HAVE A LIGHTER,” SHE ANSWERED.
TAKING FLAMETHROWER OUT OF POCKET.

 PROVERB: "DO NOT DIGG A HOLE FOR OTHERS, OR THEN
HE WILL NOT FIT INTO IT."

 FAT'S FATHER MET WITH THE DIRECTOR
CIRCUS AND APPROACHED HIM WITH A REQUEST TO GIVE
RENT A Hippopotamus for your love life
DAUGHTERS.
 - I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO MAKE AMOUND LIKE THISANIMALS! - THE DIRECTOR was indignant, - BUT I
I ADVISE YOU TO GO TO THE ZOO, THERE TOO
THERE IS A Hippopotamus, but he is blind.

 FAT'S FATHER WAS DETAINED AT THE CHECKPOINT,
WHEN HE WANTED TO TAKE OUT THE FIRE SHIELD. B
IT, AS USUAL, HAD: A FIRE EXTINGUISHER,
BUCKET WITH SAND, HOOK, AND SO ON.
 - WHY DID YOU NEED THIS? -
THEY ASKED HIM.
 - YES I JUST WANTED TO GIVE IT TO MY DAUGHTER
COSMETICS SET.

 IN THE CLOTHING ATELIER SISTER
FAT ASKS THE TAILOR:
 - ADVICE HOW TO DO IT BETTER
JACKET CLOSURE: WITH BUTTONS OR ON
LIGHTNING?
 “LOCKED,” THE TAILOR ADVISED.

 FAT'S SISTER DECIDED TO STEAL A PLANE.
SHE SCREAMS INTO THE COCKPIT AND
SAYS:
 - TO TURKEY! OR I'LL GET UNdressed!

 FAT'S SISTER CAME TO AN APPOINTMENT
OCULIST. AFTER EXAMINING THE PATIENT, THE DOCTOR WRITTEN
IN THE CARD: "CGA WITH DEAD MEMORY."

 FAT'S SISTER CAME TO AN APPOINTMENT
TO THE DENTIST.
 “WILL HAVE TO PUT A SEAL,” HE SAYS
DOCTOR, - NURSE, CARRY A JACKHAMMER AND
DYNAMITE.

 "HAPPY PENNY!" - I THOUGHT
FAT'S SISTER PICKING UP THE COVER FROM THE ROAD
FROM LUKE.

 RIDDLE: "WHAT WILL A TRAIN LIKE TO
WHICH IS FAT'S SISTER GOING?"
 ANSWER: "TO THE SNAKE THAT SWALLOWED
RABBIT."

 RIDDLE: "WHAT IS NHO?"
 ANSWER: "UNIDENTIFIED WALKING OBJECT."

 FAT'S FATHER SLEEP AS USUAL
AFTERNOON SLEEP. SUDDENLY THERE WAS AN EXPLOSION.
THE EXPLOSIVE WAVE BREAKED ALL THE GLASS AND
THE BED ON WHICH THE FATHER SLEEP TURNED OVER
BOLD.
 "I ate too many peas!" - HE THOUGHT.

 FAT'S FATHER AND DAUGHTER WALKED AROUNDSTREET.
SUDDENLY FAT'S SISTER SCREAMS AND STARTS
RUBBING YOUR EYE.
 - WHAT HAPPENED, DAUGHTER? -
ASKS FAT'S FATHER.
 - YES THE BIRD GOT ​​IN YOUR EYE.

 RIDDLE: "WHAT IS THE COMMON AND WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN FAT'S SISTER AND THE OLD MAN
HOTTABYCH?"
 ANSWER: "THE GENERAL THING IS THAT THEY CAN
WALKING THROUGH A WALL, AND THE DIFFERENCE IS
THAT WITH KHOTTABYCH THE WALL REMAINS WHOLE."

 RIDDLE: "WHAT WILL THE FILM BE NAMED
"SLAVE ISAURA", IF IN THE MAIN ROLE
WILL FAT'S SISTER BE CAUGHT?"
 ANSWER: "THE TOMB OF ISAURA."

 "WHAT A WONDERFUL MIXER!" - I THOUGHT
FAT'S SISTER SAW THE CONCRETE MIXER.

 THE MOVIE "TERMINATOR 3" WAS FILMED IN HOLLYWOOD
ABOUT HOW THEY SENT TO US FROM THE FUTURE
TERMINATOR TO DESTROY SISTER
BOLD. THE FILM WAS CALLED DIFFERENTLY
"SUICIDE CYBORG".

 FAT'S SISTER ENTERS THE STORE, CALLING
SELLER AND SAYS:
 - SHOW ME THOSE EARRINGS.
 - THESE ARE NOT EARRINGS, THESE ARE CHANDELIERS, -
SELLER RESPONDS.

 AFTER EXPERIENCE OF CLINICAL DEATH
MANY PEOPLE REMEMBERED THAT THEY FOUND IN
A TUNNEL AT THE END OF WHICH THERE WAS LIGHT. WHEN
FAT'S SISTER SUFFERED CLINICAL
DEATH ASKED HER:
 - WHAT DID YOU SEE WHEN YOU WERE IN
COMA STATE?
 - YES I WAS STUCK IN SOME PIPE!

 LINE FROM THE SONG: "EVERYONE IS RUNNING, RUNNING,
THEY ARE RUNNING - SHE IS STANDING!"

 RIDDLE: "WHAT WILL THE SISTER BE LIKE?
FAT IN WHITE FIRE?"
 ANSWER: "ON KING KONG."

 Saying: "GIVE ME A STANDING POINT AND I WILL
I WILL EAT HER!"

 PROVERB: “WHAT YOU SOW, YOU SHOULD EAT”

 FAT'S SISTER ENTERSTHE STORE IS CALLING
SELLER AND SAYS:
 - SHOW ME THAT BARRIER FOR
HAIR.
 - THIS IS NOT A BARRIER, IT'S A BEAR TRAP.

 RIDDLE: "NAME A LINE FROM THE SONG
ABOUT THE SNEEZING OF FAT'S SISTER."
 ANSWER: "THE RED, THE TREES WERE NOISING
BENT..."

 FAT'S FATHER SHOWS HIS DAUGHTER THE BOX
GEAR FROM THE CAR AND EXPLAINS HOW IT IS
WORKS:
 - THIS IS THE DRIVING GEAR, AND THIS
SLAVE.
 - EATING? - THE SISTER ASKED
BOLD.

 FAT'S SISTER COMES TO THE GYNECOLOGIST AND
ASKS:
 - DOCTOR, TELL ME, AM I PREGNANT?
 - IF YES, THEN THE LAST 10 YEARS.

 FAT'S SISTER WALKED PAST THE TRASH TRASH AND
I SAW A LARGE PILE OF TRASH IN WHICH
THERE WERE A LOT OF RATS SQUIRRING.
 - OH! - SHE EXCELLED, - ANANTHILL!

 - ARE YOUR JEANS BOILED? - ASKS
SISTER OF A FAT FRIEND.
 “YES,” FAT’S SISTER ANSWERS, “ME.”
THEY WERE WELD FROM TWO SEWER PIPES.

 FAT'S SISTER DECIDED TO TIE HERSELF
SWEATSHIRT.
 - ADVICE WHICH IS BETTER TO CHOOSE
WOOL? - FAT'S SISTER ASKS
KNITTERS.
 - I THINK BARBED WIRE, -
ADVISED BY A KNITTER.

 WHEN FAT'S SISTER WENT OUT
ENTRANCE, SOMEONE FROM THE UPPER FLOOR POURED ON
HER BUCKET OF WATER.
 “IT LOOKS LIKE IT’S STARTING TO RAIN,” I THOUGHT
FAT'S SISTER.

 RIDDLE: "GANGSTER URRY GAVE A NEW
TASK - CAPTURE FAT'S SISTER, BUT HE
I HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING IT MY ENTIRE LIFE. WHY?"
 ANSWER: "HE WAS LOOKING FOR A LONG TIME WHERE HER
BUTTON."

 RIDDLE: "WHY IS A SISTER DIFFERENT
FAT FROM ANKA THE MACHINE GUNNER?"
 ANSWER: "AT ANKA THE MACHINE GUNNERJAMMED
A MACHINE GUN, AND FAT'S SISTER HAS AN ELEVATOR."

 FAT'S SISTER WITH HER FATHER IS STANDING IN THE STREET.
IT'S SNOWING HEAVY. TO FAT'S SISTER
A BOY RUNS UP AND ASKS:
 - WHO IS THIS HUGE SNOW
DID YOU MAKE BABA?
 - I am! - THE FATHER ANSWERS PROUDLY
BOLD.

 FAT'S SISTER IS WALKING IN THE AREA
CHERNOBYL ZONE. BEHIND HER FROM COVER
TWO SOLDIERS WATCH.
 - LOOK! - WHISPERS THE FIRST, - MAMMOTH
Thawed!
 - AND MUTATED! - ADDES A SECOND.

 RIDDLE: "WHY IS A SISTER DIFFERENT
FAT FROM HYDRATEL ACID?"
 ANSWER: "HOLARIC ACID CARODES, AND
FAT'S SISTER EATS."

 FAT'S SISTER IS GOING ON THE TRAIN.
THE CONDUCTOR BRINGS HER TEA.
 - I LOVE TO DRINK TEA WITH A SMACK, -
FAT'S SISTER SAYS, BRING ME
A FEW PIECES OF SUGAR.
 “WE DON’T HAVE BRICKS,” ANSWERS
CONDUCTOR.

 FOLLOWING FAT'S SISTER FROM THE COVER
TWO INDIANS ARE OBSERVED.
 - HAWKEYE! PALE-FACED! -
THE FIRST WHISPERS.
 - PALE-FACED! - CORRECTS THE SECOND, -
BESIDES, WE CAN'T TAKE SUCH A SCALP.
 - SO LET'S LEAVE HIM HERE. WE WILL HAVE
WIGWAM.

 TO CATCH THE FAT INDIAN'S SISTER
THEY DIGGED A HUGE HOLE, IN THE CENTER OF WHICH
SET UP A SHARP STAKE MADE FROM
CENTENNIAL OAK. FALLING INTO THE TRAP
FAT'S SISTER SAW SWEETLY - FIRST
ONCE IN YOUR LIFE SHE FELT AN ORGASM!

 FAT'S SISTER IS TALKING ON
PHONE WITH A FRIEND:
 “YOU KNOW,” FAT’S SISTER SAYS,
I'M ON A HUNGRY DIET! MY POWER IS MORE
NO! I CAN'T ANYMORE!
 - HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN?ARE YOU HUNGRY?!
 - YES ALREADY A WHOLE 5 MINUTES!

 FAT'S SISTER CAME TO AN APPOINTMENT
TO THE DENTIST. THE DOCTOR EXAMINED THE PATIENT AND WITH
WITH A Sigh he said:
 - YOU WILL HAVE TO REMOVE THE TOOTH. HEY! -
HE ADDRESSES THE MEDICAL STAFF, -
WHICH ONE OF YOU KNOWS UPROADING STUMPS?

 FAT'S SISTER CAME TO CHURCH
CONFESSION.
 - SORRY, - POP SAYS, - I’M GOING
I WILL CONFESS MYSELF FIRST.

 FAT'S SISTER IS SUNBANNING ON THE BEACH, AND
CONVERSATIONS CAN BE HEARD NEARBY:
 - LOOK! THE WHALE IS ON SHORE AGAIN
OUT!
 - YES, JUDGING BY THE SMELL, IT'S BEEN LAYING FOR A LONG TIME.

 FAT'S FATHER AND DAUGHTER ARE WALKING THROUGH THE FOREST.
 - DAUGHTER, IT’S VERY VERY ON THAT HILL
DELICIOUS STRAWBERRY. GO TRY IT.
 WHEN FAT'S SISTER RETURNED, THE FATHER
ASKS HER:
 - WELL, TASTY STRAWBERRY?
 - TASTY. AND THE HILL IS EVEN TASTIER!

 Saying: "MAN IS BROTHER TO MAN,
MAN IS HIPHEMOTH'S SISTER."

 THE FIRST WORDS OF FAT'S SISTER:
"MA-MA-MARGARINE!"

 RIDDLE: "WHAT DOES THERE TIDES AND
LOW TIDE?
 ANSWER: "THE LOWS HAPPEN WHEN THE SISTER
FAT LEAVES THE HOUSE, AND WHEN DOES THE TIDE FLOW?
SHE'S GOING HOME."

 AT A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT, Zhirny's SISTER
ASKS:
 - DOCTOR, I'M ITCHING THERE. I HAVE
MANDAVOTS?!
 - NO, YOU HAVE MANDARATS.

 FAT'S SISTER COMES TO THE DOCTOR AND
SAYS:
 - DOCTOR, I HAVE WORMS!
 AFTER EXAMINING THE PATIENT, THE DOCTOR SAID:
 - BUT I THOUGHT THAT ANACONDAS ONLY IN
AMERICA HAS.

 NOTE FROM THE ARCHIVES OF THE MATERNITY HOSPITAL:
"THE BIRTH WAS HARD: DUE TO THE BREAKAGE OF THE TABLE
THE CHILDREN HAD TO BE CARRIED OUT AT THE DEBARCADE IN
UNIVERSAL.THE BUTCHERS' BRIGADE DID
MOTHER CESAREAN SECTION. OBSTETRIC-GYNECOLOGIST
LEFT WITH A HERNIA AND NERVOUS SHOCK.
WEIGHT OF THE CHILD, ACCORDING TO WHAT IS LEFT OF
WEIGHTS, IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO DETERMINE."

 RIDDLE: "WHAT CAN YOU CALL THE PARISH IN
GUESTS TO FAT'S SISTER?
 ANSWER: "VISIT TO THE MINOTAUR."

 TO THE HOUSE WHERE FAT'S SISTER LIVES,
A TRUCK ARRIVED, LOADED
CONCRETE PLATES, AND COULD BE HEARD NEARBY
CONVERSATION:
 - WHAT, BUILD SOMETHING AGAIN
GATHERED?
 - YES NO, THIS IS THE SISTER OF THE FAT MAIL
CAME.

 PROVERB: "IF A MOUNTAIN DOESN'T GO TO
TO MAHOMET, THEN MAHOMET TO HER, MUCH MORE NOT
WILL GO."

 RIDDLE: "WHAT WILL A FAMILY BE LIKE?
PHOTO: FAT, FAT'S FATHER AND SISTER
FAT?"
 ANSWER: "ON A FRAME FROM THE PROGRAM "CALM"
NIGHTS, KIDS": PIGGY, FILYA AND AUNT VALYA."

 RIDDLE: "WHAT WILL IT BE NAMED
"ROM-BABA" CAKE FOR FAT'S SISTER?
 ANSWER: "BABA FERRY."

 FAT'S FATHER TOOK IT FROM VIDEO RENTAL
CASSETTE. A DAY AFTER HE COMES AND SAYS:
 - YOU KNOW, YOUR CASSETTE HAS BEEN CHEWED!
 - SO YOU BRING HER, MAYBE HER
CAN BE RESTORED.
 - SHE’S ALREADY DIGESTED!

 AFTER MEETING WITH FAT'S SISTER
CHIEF DIRECTOR OF THE FILMS "ALIEN" AND "ALIENS"
STARTED WORKING ON A NEW HORROR FILM -
"ALIEN" REVEALED THE EARLY MOVIES AS COMEDIES.

 FAT'S SISTER FOUND OUT THAT IN CHINA
THEY EAT WITH CHOPS AND DECIDED TO TRY IT TOO.
FAT'S FATHER Sighed and went to the pharmacy to buy
CRUTCHES.

 FAT'S SISTER COMES IN
HARDWARE STORE CALLS SALESMAN AND
SAYS:- WHAT FERTILIZERS DO YOU HAVE?
 - WHAT ARE YOU INTERESTED IN?
 - WHICH ARE TASTIEST?

 FAT'S SISTER COMES TO AN APPOINTMENT
TO THE DOCTOR AND SAYS:
 - DOCTOR, YOU KNOW, I HAVE APPEARED
BAGS UNDER THE EYES!
 THE DOCTOR LOOKED AT HER EYES WITH HORROR
AND SAID:
 - GO AND DUMP THESE BAGS AT THE END
CORRIDOR.

 FAT'S SISTER WENT TO OPERATION, WHICH
TO REMOVE KIDNEY STONES. FATHER OF FAT S
WAITING EXCITINGLY OUTSIDE THE DOORS OF THE OPERATING ROOM.
SUDDENLY A SURGEON COMES OUT OF THE OPERATING ROOM
ON CRUTCHES, WITH A LEG IN A CAST AND WIPPING CO
FOREHEAD SWEAT SAYS:
 - THE OPERATION WAS SUCCESSFUL.
 - WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? -
FAT'S FATHER WAS INTERESTED.
 - YES I ACCIDENTALLY PLACED ONE STONE ON MYSELF
DROPPED YOUR LEG.

 FAT'S SISTER COMES TO THE DOCTOR AND
SAYS:
 - DOCTOR, I HAVE LICE!
SEND ME SOMETHING EFFECTIVE
REMEDY.
 THE DOCTOR EXAMINED THE PATIENT AND SAID:
 - I WILL LET YOU PRESCRIBE MOUSETRAPS, AND
IF IT DOESN'T HELP, LET'S TRY TRAPS.

 FOR THE NEW YEAR, FAT'S SISTER DECIDED
TO WORK AS THE SNOW MAIDEN, BUT SHE WAS TOLD THAT
SHE CAN ONLY WORK AS A DRIFTER.

 PROVERB: "IT'S BETTER TO HEAR IT A HUNDRED TIMES"
THAN TO SEE ONCE..."

 FAT'S SISTER IS STANDING IN QUEUE, AND IN
THERE ARE CONVERSATIONS IN QUEUE:
 - WHO ARE YOU STANDING FOR?
 - I? BEHIND THAT LADY. WHO ARE YOU FOR?
 - AND I AM BEHIND THAT DAM.

 FAT'S SISTER ENTERS THE HOUSEHOLD
THE STORE CALLS THE SALESMAN AND SAYS:
 - SHOW ME THAT SCREWDRIVER.
 - THIS IS NOT A SCREWDRIVER, IT'S A SHOVEL.

 FAT SISTER SMOKES, LEANING OUT IN
WINDOW. SUITABLE FOR ITFATHER OF FAT AND
SAYS:
 - DAUGHTER, DON’T THROW THE BULLIES DOWN. PEOPLE
YOU WILL KILL!

 RIDDLE: "NAME A LINE FROM THE FABLE
KRYLOV, WHERE THE SISTER OF FAT IS DESCRIBED
WALK."
 ANSWER: “THE ELEPHANT WAS DRIVEN THROUGH THE STREETS...”

 FAT'S SISTER COMES TO THE JEWELRY STORE
STORE AND SAYS:
 - I NEED A WEDDING RING.
 - WE DON'T HAVE SUCH HOOPS.

 FAT'S SISTER COMES TO THE PHONE ROOM
WORKSHOP AND SAYS:
 - PLEASE MAKE ME A BUTTON BUTTON
PHONE.
 THE MASTER LOOKED AT HER AND ANSWERED:
 - GOOD. BUT FIRST GO TO
SEWING MACHINE REPAIR WORKSHOP AND
BUY 12 PEDALS THERE.

 MORNING. THE WHOLE FAMILY IS SLEEPING. FATHER OF FAT
TRYING TO EXPLAIN SOMETHING IN A DREAM AND
NODS HIS HEAD TO HIMSELF. SLEEPING AND SISTER
BOLD. HER DREAM IS ACCOMPANIED BY POWERFUL
SNORING SIMILAR TO A BULLDOZER RUNNING,
AND VIBRATION OF THE WALLS.
 THE FATHER WOKE FIRST. HE GROUNDS
WENT UP AND LOOKED AT THE WATCH.
 “IT’S TIME TO WAKE UP HELA,” - SAD
HE THOUGHT AND Sighed. GOING TO THE WORKSHOP,
FAT'S FATHER TOOK A HAMMER.
 “TOO SMALL,” HE THOUGHT AND TOOK THE MALLE.
 "BIG BUT LIGHT. WILL NOT GO." -
FAT'S FATHER DROVE THE CONCLUSION.
 "THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED!" - HE DECIDED
PULLING OUT A SLEDGEHAMMER FROM UNDER THE BENCH.
 OPENING THE DOOR TO HER ROOM, HE NEARLY
I FORGOT TO PLUG MY NOSE WITH A CLOTHESPECK. APPROACHING
TO THE SLEEPING DAUGHTER, THE FATHER SWINGED AND WITH EVERYTHING
STUPID HIT HER IN THE FOREHEAD WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER.
 - DID YOU SLEEP TODAY! - SPEAKED
FAT'S FATHER FUCKED HER AGAIN, BUT SISTER
FAT JUST GROWLED LAZY IN HIS SLEEP, AND
THE FATHER WASCOVERED IN SWEAT.
 COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED AND BROKEN
SLEDGEHAMMER, POOR DADDY REMEMBERED THE LAST
THE MOST TRUE AND MOST FAULT-FREE REMEDY.
HE WENT TO THE KITCHEN, TOOK A PACK OF MARGARINE AND
PUT HER ON THE BACK OF SISTER'S BED
BOLD.
 HIS REACTION WAS EXCELLENT,
TRAINED FOR YEARS, SINCE THE TUTU WAS
INSTANTLY SWALLOWED ONLY WITH THE BACK,
NOT WITH HIS HAND.
 DAUGHTER WOKE UP, OPENED MOUTH AND S
I LOOKED AT HER FATHER WITH A TERRIBLE LOOK.
 - NOW, NOW! - THE FATHER babbled
FAT AND PUSHED IT INTO HER MOUTH
TIRE. WITHOUT WAITING UNTIL IT IS
LICK AND BURP, HE'S FAST
RETURNED.
 FAT'S SISTER STANDS UP AND CORRECTS
CONCRETE PILLOW, COVERED WITH ASPHALT
BLANKET AND WENT TO THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM. GENDER
CRACKED AND BENDED. FROM UNDER THE BED
A CAST IRON BALL ROLLED OUT AND ROLLED TO
TO THE CENTER, BUT QUICKLY RECOGNIZED.
BACK.
 FAT'S SISTER LOOKED LOOKED UP. AND HER LOOK
STOPED ON THE TV. WITHOUT WAITING
WHILE SHE APPROACHES HIM, THE TV
TURNED ON BY MYSELF.
 "FACT OF THE FALL OF THE TUNGUSKA METEORITE
WAS NOTED BY NUMEROUS
OBSERVATIONS...", - CAME FROM
TV, - "COLUMN OF FIRE, VISIBLE FOR 100
KILOMETERS... GLASSES BROKEN ON
AT A DISTANCE OF 400 KILOMETERS... EXISTS
MANY HYPOTHESES..." (THE BROADCAST "UFO -
UNANNOUNCED VISIT.")
 AFTER HEARING THESE MESSAGES, FAT'S SISTER
TOOK A DEEP BREATH. (BAROMETER HANDLE,
HANGING ON THE WALL, MADE SEVERAL
TURNS IN EACH WAY.) SCIENTISTS AND NOTWE GUESSED THAT ONLY SHE KNOWS THE TRUTH
ONE...

 FAR IN SIBERIA NEAR THE ANGARA RIVER LIVED
GRANDFATHER OF FAT. HE WAS NOW SITTING ON
TO A BENCH AND READ THE LETTER. HIS FACE WAS
CONCERNED. I WOULD EVEN SAY VERY
CONCERNED! HE WITH A FENDING HEART
READ ONE LINE OVER AND AGAIN
LETTERS:
 "WE MISS YOU SO MUCH, DEAR
GRANDFATHER, ONE OF THE DAYS EXPECT US TO VISIT EVERYONE
FAMILY." THESE ARE THE LAST WORDS OF "ALL
FAMILY" DID NOT GIVE HIM PEACE. NO! HE IS AT ALL
WOULDN'T MIND TO MEET YOUR SON, HUG
YOUR OWN GRANDSON, BUT TO MEET YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER...
IT'S BETTER TO GO IMMEDIATELY TO THE NEAREST RIVER POOL
HANGARS!
 GRANDFATHER, AS NOW, REMEMBERS THE PREVIOUS
ARRIVAL "WITH THE WHOLE FAMILY". IT ALL STARTED WITH THIS
THAT HE NEARLY “TURNED AWAY” WHEN
THE GRANDDAUGHTER TRIED TO KISS HIM. (HIM
HUMAN FEELINGS HAVE BECOME FAMILIAR,
TURNED INSIDE OUT.) HE REMEMBERS
CONVERSATION WITH A NEIGHBOR WHO HAS THIS GRANDDAUGHTER
ate a carload of manure, mistaking it for
PIE WITH JAM. WILL NEVER FORGIVE HIM
NEIGHBOR DARIA, AFTER HER SON BECAME
STUTTERING AFTER SEEING "CYCLOPS". IN A WORD FROM HER
YOU CAN'T EXPECT ANYTHING GOOD WHEN YOU ARRIVE!
BUT SINCE IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO CHANGE ANYTHING,
GRANDFATHER, SIGHING, BEGAN TO THINK HOW TO ACCEPT
GUESTS.
 “THE MUST BE ENOUGH FOOD FOR HER” - THOUGHT
HE LOOKED AT THE HUGE TRASH OUTSIDE THE WINDOW,
“I’LL GO WEED THE BEDS, THERE WILL BE SEAGULLS.”
 AFTER FINISHING THE WEEDING, GRANDFATHER COLLECTED THE WEEDS
IN AN ARMCHET AND PLACED THEM IN A LARGE CHEST.
TOOKING THE PAINT AND BRUSH, HE PICKED IT UP LARGE
LETTERED IN LETTERS ONCHEST: "TEA". A LITTLE
HAVING THOUGHT, HE WENT TO THE TURKEY HUNTER AND PICKED
THERE WAS TURKEY LOOSE, THROWED IT INTO THE CHEST,
MIXED WITH WEEDS AND ADDED:
"INDIAN TEA".
 HAVING FINISHED ALL THE PREPARATIONS, GRANDPA
I WAS GOING TO REST, BUT SUDDENLY SAW
FIRST SYMPTOMS: THE CHANDELIER STARTED TO SWING!
THIS COULD MEAN EITHER
EARTHQUAKE OR - SHE IS HERE! STILL IN
FOR A MINUTE HE FELT RHYTHMIC
EARTH SHAKES, LIKE HE ALREADY FELT,
WHEN THE PILLARS WERE NEAR HIS HOUSE.
 GRANDFATHER SHARED, HID BEHIND THE STOVE AND
WITH A BEATEN HEART I BECAME WAITING FOR WHEN
THE DOOR WILL OPEN. THE DOOR OPENED WITH
THE WALL OF THE HOUSE...
 - You're welcome! - GRANDFATHER YELLED BECAUSE
STOVE AND CAREFULLY PUT OUT HIS HEAD. SMILE
HIS FACE LOOKED VERY LIKE A GRIMACE
HORROR, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT SHE WAS. SON
AND HE DID NOT SEE THE GRANDSON IMMEDIATELY, BUT HERE
HE COULD ALREADY SMELL HIS GRANDdaughter.
DESPITE THE ABSENCE OF A WALL, STUFF AND
THE STINK INCREASED, AND GRANDPA SAID:
"LET'S GO OUTSIDE THE YARD. IT'S STILLY
SOMETHING,” - SIDEWAY, SIDEWALKED OUTSIDE THE STREET.
 - GRANDFATHER! - INTERRUPTED THE REIGN
SILENCE SISTER OF THE FAT - I AM FOR YOU
I MISS YOU TERRIBLY! TAKE THIS FROM ME
BEAUTIFUL FLOWER. CATCH!
 POOR GRANDFATHER BARELY DODGED FROM THE FLYING AT
NO BIRCH!
 "YES! THIS FLOWER WOULD COME FROM
“EXCELLENT Coffin,” HE THOUGHT.
 - THANK YOU, DEAR GRANDdaughter, THIS
GIFT I WILL REMEMBER ALL MY LIFE! (A LITTLE
THERE IS ALREADY LEFT), - GRANDFATHER SAID BUT
I CAUGHT OUT: - WELL, WHAT ARE YOU STANDING FOR? YOUARE YOU PROBABLY TIRED OR HUNGRY? (SO AND
WAS ONE WAS HUNGRY AND THE REST ARE TIRED.)
HE DIDN’T HEAR WHAT THE FATHER AND GRANDSON RESPONDED,
BUT FROM THE POSITIVE RESPONSE OF FAT’S SISTER
HIS EARS ARE STILLED. AND NEAR THE TRASH TRASH ALREADY
THERE WAS A LOUD CHAMPING FROM
IN THE VILLAGE DOGS WAS HOWLING AND MOOING
THE COWS, THE CHILDREN AND THEIR PARENTS CRIED.
 WHILE FAT'S SISTER WAS EATING A MEAL, FOR
GRANDFATHERS WAS A SMALL BREAK. HE HUGED
FATHER AND GRANDSON AND WITH TEARS IN THE EYES
SAID:
 - CUTE! HOW DO YOU LIVE?!
 “AS YOU SEE,” FAT’S FATHER ANSWERED,
WE'LL GRADUALLY GET USED TO IT. GOOD AT LEAST
GOT GROWN UP OR WILL LOOK AT IT IN CHILDHOOD
THE TALE "OLD MAN HOTTABYCH" SO ALL DAY
TRYING TO PASS THROUGH THE WALLS. AND ME THEN
I'M DOING REPAIRS, REBUILDING THE WALLS. THIS IS STILL
IT'S GOOD IF YOU HAVE YOURS, BUT THEN HOW TO BREAK INTO
THE NEIGHBORS SCREAMS: “TERMINATOR!
TERMINATOR!" AND ONE IS STILL IN THE NUSY HOUSE
PROVES THAT KING KONG IS ALIVE!
 MEANWHILE FAT'S SISTER LICKED IT
ALL THE DRAIN BOXES, CRUMPLED THEM AND WITH
She looked at him with a menacingly questioning look.
GRANDFATHER.
 - GO TO THE HOUSE, GRANDSON. THERE, IT SEEMS TO BE
THERE IS SOMETHING TO REINFORCE. - QUICKLY babbled
GRANDFATHER
 PUSHING INTO THE HOUSE, FAT'S SISTER
SAW SEVERAL BAGS AND LICKED IT
I SWALLOWED ONE OF THEM.
 - WHAT IS IN THESE BAGS? - SUSPICIOUS
FATHER ASKED FAT?
 - YES, PEAS, - GRANDFATHER WAIVED HIS HAND.
 FAT'S FATHER GOT COLD!
 - GET DOWN!!! - HE YELLED HEATHINGLY
BY VOICE.
 HIS FORMER MILITARY RETURNED TO GRANDFATHER
HABIT AND HE MANAGED TO CHESSProne on
THE GROUND BEFORE THE EXPLOSION CAME.
THE REMAINING THREE WALLS OF THE HOUSE WERE CARRYED AWAY
UNKNOWN DIRECTION. FAT'S FATHER IS NOT
Having lost his composure, he began to act
OPERATIVELY:
 - IS THERE ANY SUPPORTER IN THE HOUSE? THIS IS ONLY
START!
 GRANDFATHER, RECOVERING YOURSELF, LOWLY POINTED WITH HIS HAND
TO THE BURIAL. Having rushed headlong into the cellar,
FAT'S FATHER RUNNED OUT WITH A BAG OF RICE AND
I THROWED IT INTO THE OPEN JAW OF THE DAUGHTER.
 - WHAT ARE YOU STANDING FOR?! HELP!
 EVERYONE RUSHED INTO THE CELLAR.
 AFTER THE FIFTH SWALLOWED BY SISTER
THE FAT SACK'S FATHER HEAVED A SEAH OF RELIEF
AND FELL TO THE GROUND ALL IN SWEAT.
 - THIS WILL KEEP HER AWAY FOR A SEVERAL DAYS, BUT
THEN SHE WILL HAVE TO BE TAKEN TO THE TAIGA.
 - GOD! - GRANDFATHER WOKE UP, - STAN TO
NO! WHAT DOES THE ROOF SUPPORT ON?!
 - OH! - FAT'S SISTER EXCLAIMED, -
AND I DIDN'T NOTICE THAT MY HAT
HEAVIER.
 IT'S COMING INTO EVENING. AFTER TRANSFERRED
IN EXCITATION, THE WHOLE FAMILY SAT AT THE TABLE.
 - NOW WE'LL BREW YOU SEAGULL, -
GRANDFATHER SAID TO HIS GRAND DAUGHTER AND STARTED TO OVERLOAD
WEEDS FROM THE CHEST TO THE TRASH.
 WHILE GRANDFATHER WITH SHAKER HANDS TRIED
LIGHT A FIRE UNDER THE TOW, SISTER
THE FAT ONE WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO SWALLOW.
SUDDENLY FROM THE ATTIC WHICH IS STILL
WAS POSITIONED ON HER HEAD, A BAG FELL OUT.
THE SISTER LOOKED INQUESTIONINGLY AT THE FATHER
A LOOK THAT MADE HIM SEEK. UNYAV
SHAKED IN HIS KNEES HE WHISPERED:
 - WAIT DAUGHTER, SUDDENLY THERE ARE PEAS!
 “YES NO, THERE ARE NOT PEAS,” he responded
GRANDFATHER (HE WAS INTERRUPTED BY THE ROUD OF FALLING
INSIDE THE SISTER OF THE FAT SACK), -THERE
PURGEN... FAT'S FATHER'S FACE HAS GOT COLOR
WHAT WAS BOILED IN THE TIN. "AS YOU WANT
LIVE,” HE THOUGHT AND CLOSED EYES IN
WAITING FOR THE TERRIBLE JUDGMENT.
 HEARD IT FROM INSIDE FAT'S SISTER
TERRIBLE SOUND. HEARING HIS GRANDFATHER
REMEMBERED HOW PAST HIM DURING THE WAR WITH
THE SAME SOUND WAS A TANK PASSING
DIVISION. HE REMEMBERED HOW IT WAS GIVEN BY HIS DAUGHTER
"FLOWER" HE WANTED TO LET IT OWN
GRAVE, BUT SEEING THAT EVEN FAT'S FATHER
LOST HUMAN APPEARANCE, DOUBTED
WILL THERE BE SOMETHING TO BURY.
 THE FAT ONE HIMSELF WAS STANDING QUIETLY BEFORE THIS
Aside, I WANTED TO LIVE MORE THAN
MADE HIS HEAD WORK A LOT
FASTER THAN USUAL. TRYING TO BLOCK
TERRIBLE SOUNDS COMING FROM THE SISTER'S STOMACH
HE YELLED:
 - SISTER! THERE ARE LYING IN THE SWAMP
TWO...NO THREE BOXES OF MARGARINE! WORD
"MARGARINE" FAT'S SISTER WOULD HEAR IT AT
ANY ROUGH, AND LOOKING AT YOUR BROTHER,
POINTING SOMEWHERE IN THE DISTANCE, SHE REALIZED
THAT MAGRARINE IS AND IS IN THE TAIGA.
 THE EARTH SHAKED AS IF IT WAS RUNNING
A HERD OF BUFFALO WAS RUNNING, AND THE ROOF OF A HOUSE,
LOSING SUPPORT, FELL WITH A NOISE TO THE GROUND.
YOU COULD HEAR A NEW NEW ONE APPEARING IN TAIGA
CLEARWAY. THIS CONTINUED UNTIL
PURGEN DIDN'T DO HIS JOB...
 AN ACUTE FEELING OF HUNGER IS INTERRUPTED
MEMORIES OF FAT'S SISTER. YES SO WHAT
REMEMBER - HER BROTHER DECEIVED.
 MEANWHILE ON TV
SHOWING ALL NEW AND NEW PHOTOS
DESTRUCTION ACCOMPANIED BY STORIES
LOCAL REINDEER HERDERS: "IT TURNED OVERPLAGUE..., END OF DEER..., TOPPED
FOREST..., A LOCAL SHAMAN BOUGHT HIS HEAD FOR A LONG TIME
IN THE TAMMBER AND SCREAMED THAT IT'S ANGRY
"MOTHER WARLUS"..."
 "CHAITER!" - THOUGHT FAT'S SISTER
ABOUT YOUR BROTHER AND WENT TO EAT.